Dirty Girls: The Naked Truth about Our Guilty Secrets (Unpretty, Unclean, and Utterly Horrifying)

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More About This Book

Overview

The Naked Truth Isn't Always Pretty.

A no-holds-barred look at the hilarious underbelly of what it means to be female, Dirty Girls lays bare the secrets of the fairer sex.

Women don't come from a different planet than men. In fact, both sexes want the exact same things: success, friendships, semifunctional families, semifunctioning relationships, good bodies, and lots and lots of great sex.

But there's more.

  • Even though we pluck, we wax, and we put on war paint to mask our blemishes, we also regularly watch porn.
  • We wear our bikini bottoms when we run out of clean underwear.
  • When we're alone, we eat Cheetos and peanut butter on a spoon for dinner.

Women are fascinating, beautiful, and, yes, disgusting creatures, and we shouldn't be ashamed of it. Dirty Girls exposes the filthy, lazy, fabulous truth that everything boys can do, girls can do better.

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781402242038
  • Publisher: Sourcebooks, Incorporated
  • Publication date: 9/1/2010
  • Pages: 240
  • Sales rank: 833,727
  • Product dimensions: 5.00 (w) x 7.90 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Meet the Author

Gillian Telling is the sex columnist for Maxim, where she tells men how women think. She has written for Rolling Stone, Men's Journal, Details, and Jane, and she writes a column for thefrisky.com.

Read an Excerpt

From the Introduction

So, ladies... As you know, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Actually, some old fart coined that catchy title years ago to sell millions of books, and, well, he totally succeeded in selling millions of books. And desktop calendars. And even those miniature books that no one really wants but gets /in their stockings at Christmas every year. Good for him. But what he also did was spawn an entire generation of men and women who treat this catchy title as though it were the word of God. Because it explains everything! No wonder men and women have so many issues trying to get along well with one another! How on earth are we supposed to be friends and lovers when we obviously come from completely different planets? Guys aren't even the same species as us. They're Martians! Basically, asking men and women to get along as human beings is like asking a native San Franciscan to stop talking about how delicious the burritos are there. It's simply not natural.

But is it really that simple? Men and women can have vast differences in their outlooks and actions. That's not a total shocker. But what I have found in the past few years of writing a sex column for Maxim magazine, for which I have interviewed countless women about their lives, dirty secrets, and dreams for the future, is that women are actually not all that different from men. They seem to want the same things out of life as the opposite sex does: success, health, friendship, money, a career, a functional family, functioning relationships, a good body, and lots and lots of great sex. Women want to have fun and are funny, and they can be nasty, horny, brutish little buggers at the same time.

Don't get me wrong-I'm not trying to say women are the new men. We don't want to be men. Why would we want to be men? Lower salaries and suffering through nine months of sobriety during pregnancy notwithstanding, for the most part, it's pretty good being us. I'm just saying we're just so much more similar to guys than anyone has ever admitted. Until now. The jig is up, sisters. I'm exposing us, in this book, for the filthy, funny, picky, generous, cruel, nasty, beautiful beasts we really are.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments ix

Author's Note xi

Introduction xiii

Chapter One
The Single Woman May Be the Grossest Creature on the Planet 1

Chapter Two
Everyone Poops-Even Gisele Bündchen 15

Chapter Three
A Perfectly Adequate Dinner: Peanut Butter on a Spoon 27

Chapter Four
The Truth about Dirty Girls and Their Friends: I've Seen a Picture of My Best Friend's Boyfriend's Wiener 43

Chapter Five
Lies We Tell Men: You Were the Best I Ever Had, and I've Only Slept with Nine People 61

Chapter Six
DJ Diddle: The Reality of Women, Masturbation, and Porn 89

Chapter Seven
Picking Up Dirty Girls: We Are Far More Complicated Than Men Think 111

Chapter Eight
What Women Want in Bed: Put Down the Kama Sutra Because There's No Way We're Doing the Wheelbarrow with You Tonight 137

Chapter Nine
When Dirty Girls Fall In Love-And When They Fall Out of It 169

Chapter Ten
The End Game: How Dirty Girls Really Feel about Happily Ever After 191

About the Author 217

Gillian Telling is the sex columnist for Maxim, where she tells men how women think. She has written for Rolling Stone, Men's Journal, Details, and Jane, and she writes a column for thefrisky.com.

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 13 )

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Sort by: Showing all of 13 Customer Reviews

  • Posted September 6, 2010

    Hilarious!!

    I pre-ordered this and got through it in one night - I seriously couldn't put it down, I was laughing that hard. Gillian Telling has the balls to actually put down on paper all of our filthy and hilarious secrets, and I'm so glad she does. She suggests leaving passages dog-eared and on your boyfriend's pillow to clue them in on our crazy secret behaviors, and I'm going to do just that! But honestly, a truly funny book, and a fast read from a very good writer.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 26, 2011

    Ummmmm im not sure they should sell rhis were kods can get it

    I havent read this book, but it seems really inapropro... but im gunna see what its like anyways

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted October 1, 2010

    Amazing and true! Every dirty girls bible!!

    I Love this book!! It is a bible for dirty girls! I never read books twice or keep them, but I will def be keeping this book on my shelf for good! Hilarious and amazing def read this. I hope Gillian Telling continues to write books and not just in maxim!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

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