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Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed

Overview

How can you handle the narcissistic people in your life? They're frustrating (and maybe even intimidating) to deal with. You might need to interact with some of them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one-so sometimes it just doesn't work to simply ignore them. You need to find a way of communicating effectively with narcissists, getting your point across and meeting your needs while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments. Disarming the Narcissist offers a host...

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1572245190 BRAND NEW: Definitely Gift Quality! Fast Shipping; usually with Tracking. 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed. More Details: *** CONDITION: This book is absolutely brand new ... and can be given as a gift. . . . SHIPPING: We ship all orders either on the day you placed it or the next business day. And at our extra expense, we typically provide tracking (except we do not usually include tracking for inexpensive books). Please note: if you live in Hawaii or Alaska, Puerto Rico or Guam, please order priority if you need your order quickly because NON-expedited delivery to those far-away places can be very slow (that is the same for every seller; it is a postal issue). Within the lower 48 we are fast! . . . OUR SERVICE: As the thoroughness of this description suggests, we take customer service and your complete satisfaction seriously. We stand by our name and offer an iron-clad 100% satisfaction guarantee. We ship right away, respond quickly to inquiries, and are dedicated to providing elite customer service! Read more Show Less

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Overview

How can you handle the narcissistic people in your life? They're frustrating (and maybe even intimidating) to deal with. You might need to interact with some of them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one-so sometimes it just doesn't work to simply ignore them. You need to find a way of communicating effectively with narcissists, getting your point across and meeting your needs while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments. Disarming the Narcissist offers a host of effective strategies for dealing effectively with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe.

Disarming the Narcissist will show you how to move past the narcissist's defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You'll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it's sad and lonely being a narcissist. By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you'll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you'll find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist. Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

Everyone knows a narcissist, one of those vainglorious individuals in desperate need of constant affirmation and attention. Cognitive therapist Behary's book argues that by modifying your own behavior, you can manage your relationship with such a person. Separating narcissism into categories (spoiled, dependent, deprived and combinations thereof) and exploring the causes of the disorder, the author hopes to assist the reader in overcoming the emotional obstacles involved in interaction with a boss, spouse, friend or relative. Rather than focus on changing the narcissist (which may be impossible), this book aims to help the reader improve self-knowledge to see why the narcissist pushes his or her buttons and how to cope. Some of the instruments Behary provides-such as checklists, flash cards, journal writing- are useful for determining the type of narcissist you are dealing with and how your past experiences affect your responses. The author acknowledges that her book is no panacea, and she doesn't present the reader with strategies for when the narcissist isn't responsive to the actions she has suggested. Notwithstanding this caveat, Behary's book will surely provide help to many in need of a confidence bolster in the face of provocation. (Mar.)

Copyright 2007 Reed Business Information
From the Publisher
"Behary's book will surely provide help to many in need of a confidence bolster in the face of provocation." —-Publishers Weekly
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781572245198
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
  • Publication date: 3/1/2008
  • Series: Unassigned Series
  • Pages: 176
  • Product dimensions: 5.90 (w) x 8.90 (h) x 0.60 (d)

Meet the Author


Wendy T. Behary, LCSW, is founder and clinical director of the Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and the NJ Institute for Schema Therapy. She is also a distinguished founding fellow of the Academy of Cognitive Therapy. She maintains a private practice, specializing in narcissism and high-conflict couples therapy.
 
Preface writer Daniel J. Siegel, MD, is the author of The Mindful Brain, and an associate clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine Center for Human Development.
 
Foreword writer Jeffrey Young, PhD, is the author of Schema Therapy, a Practitioner’s Guide, and founder/director of the Schema Therapy Institute Schema Therapy Institute of NYC.
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Table of Contents

Foreword

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction 1

Chapter 1 Framing the Situation: Toward an Understanding of Narcissism 9

Chapter 2 Understanding the Anatomy of Personality: Schemas and the Brain 31

Chapter 3 Getting Captured: Identifying Your Personal Traps 59

Chapter 4 Overcoming the Obstacles: Communication Pitfalls, Snags, and Glitches 75

Chapter 5 Paying Attention: Facing the Most Difficult Encounters with a Narcissist 93

Chapter 6 Empathic Confrontation: A Winning Strategy for Interpersonal Effectiveness 111

Chapter 7 Seven Gifts of Communication with a Narcissist 131

Resources 151

References 155

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Sort by: Showing all of 5 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 15, 2010

    I found this book extremely insightful.

    I have been doing research on narcissism, for personal reasons, and I have found this book to be one of the most relevant and comprehensive that I have read thus far. I would highly recommend it to anyone who finds themselves having to dealing with a narcissist in any area of their lives, in order that they may gain some understanding of the difficult and paradoxically inclined mentality that dictates the behavior of the narcissist. My compliments to the author for a job well done with the presentation of the subject matter.

    13 out of 14 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted March 3, 2009

    Excellent description of this personality type

    Very much work has gone into this. Yet there are no easy answers. Don't look for a formula here. You will understand the narcissist better for reading this. If you would like a specific narcissist to change, then you may still need professional help. A great start on the problem.

    10 out of 13 people found this review helpful.

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    Posted April 22, 2010

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    Posted December 29, 2009

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    Posted October 3, 2009

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