Divorce with Decency: The Complete How-To Handbook and Survivor's Guide to the Legal, Emotional, Economic, and Social Issues

Overview

This completely revised and updated fourth edition of the award-winning Divorce with Decency includes the most current research, statistics, and insights on the effects of divorce on spouses, their children, and society overall. Written by a prominent divorce lawyer with more than thirty years of experience, it is the most comprehensive treatment of the legal, emotional, economic, psychological, and social aspects of martial relationship and divorce available anywhere in a ...

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Overview

This completely revised and updated fourth edition of the award-winning Divorce with Decency includes the most current research, statistics, and insights on the effects of divorce on spouses, their children, and society overall. Written by a prominent divorce lawyer with more than thirty years of experience, it is the most comprehensive treatment of the legal, emotional, economic, psychological, and social aspects of martial relationship and divorce available anywhere in a single volume.

Initial sections look at the dynamics of divorce: the causal factors, the common "stage" from initial separation onwards, and the complications surrounding each stage for older and younger couples and children. Important information on spouse abuse is also included. The book discusses key criteria in selecting an attorney and gives expert advice on directing and monitoring the course of a case efficiently and economically. Detailed background on critical legal issues is given, followed by case histories highlighting key points of divorce law. New and extensive sections have been added to this edition that provide key tips on preserving, improving, and possibly "saving" marriages. The section "Life after Divorce" looks at the newly divorced as they face single parenthood, new relationship, and remarriage.

Informative yet highly readable (and occasionally amusing), Divorce with Decency has proven to be indispensable to anyone involved in a divorce, whether directly or indirectly.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780824836597
  • Publisher: University of Hawaii Press, The
  • Publication date: 7/28/2012
  • Edition number: 4
  • Pages: 344
  • Sales rank: 948,666
  • Product dimensions: 5.85 (w) x 9.38 (h) x 0.76 (d)

Table of Contents

Preface xiii

Acknowledgments xxi

Chapter 1 The Need for Divorce with Decency 1

Divorce Hawaiian Style 3

Chapter 2 Some Basic Background 5

A Brief History of the "Institution" of Marriage 7

Where Has the All-American Family Gone? 11

Some Scary and Saddening Statistics 21

Can Your Marriage Be Saved? 26

Understanding the Basic Biological Differences between Men and Women 31

Key Tips on Preserving and Improving Your Marriage 40

Chapter 3 The Dynamics of Divorce 50

Causal Factors 52

Sociological Factors 54

Changing Family Structures 56

The Women's Movement 60

The Rise of the "Sheconomy" 62

Money: Dual-Income Families 66

Awareness of Abuse 69

Sex 70

Affairs/Infidelity 79

The Impact of Social Media 97

Psychological Factors and Fallout 101

Common Phases of Divorce 101

Predictable Emotional Way Stations 102

Periods of Promiscuity and Personal Sexual Revolutions 102

Separation: The Beginning of the End? 104

Divorcing Couples 105

The Uncoupling Process 107

The Women 109

Older Women 112

Younger Women 114

The Men 117

Older Men 118

Younger Men 123

The Economics of Divorce 126

Chapter 4 Kids in Crisis 131

The Children of Divorce 134

Boys 137

Girls 139

Different Ages = Different Impacts 141

Infants and Toddlers 141

Grade School and Early Childhood 142

Adolescence 144

Post-Adolescence 148

Adult Children Hurt Too 150

Custody and Visitation Arrangements 151

Chapter 5 Into the Courtroom 157

Hot Tips on How to Process Your Divorce Economically and Efficiently 158

Attorney Selection 160

Mediation and Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) 165

Chapter 6 The Legal Issues 169

Grounds for Divorce 170

Separation 172

Annulment 174

Residency 175

Jurisdiction 176

Orders for Temporary Relief/The Discovery Process 180

Property Division Guidelines 183

Specific Property Settlement Items 184

Classifications and Allocations of Marital Property 185

How Marital Property Is Divided 187

Real Property 188

Pensions and Retirement Plans 191

Bank and Other Accounts 193

Debts 193

Final Settlement and Equalization Payments 195

Attorneys' Fees 196

Taxes 197

Alimony 201

Custody 205

Sole Custody 206

Joint Custody 208

Joint Legal Custody 208

Joint Physical Custody 209

Visitation 213

Contested Custody 215

Interstate Custody 220

Child Support 221

Medical Insurance 225

Issues in Military Divorces 226

Resumption of Maiden Name 227

Premarital Agreements 227

Spouse Abuse and Domestic Violence 230

Paternity 233

Common-Law Marriage and Palimony 234

Civil Unions 235

Chapter 7 Case Histories, Anecdotes, and War Stories 236

Reports from the Front 239

A Murderous Divorce 239

The Forged P-Note 242

Cross-Border Child Custody Cases Get Complicated 243

Drunk Dialing Costs Custody 245

And They All Fall Down 247

Divorce and Rape 247

Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers 248

Drugs, Dishonesty, and Divorce 251

Divorce and Bankruptcy 253

A Care Home Gets Carelessly Conveyed 254

Separation ≠ Divorce … Otherwise It's 'Til Death Do Us Part 256

The Man Who Was Almost a Bigamist 257

Pandora's Box 259

Not Everything Is as It Seems 261

Chapter 8 Life after Divorce 264

"Gray" Divorce 266

The Single Parent 268

New Romances and New Relationships 269

The Continuing Cohabitation Option 269

Facing Your Family 271

Refinding Your Friends 272

Remarriage 273

Re-Tying the Knot: Some Pros and Cons 277

A Plethora of New Mating Options 281

Some Pros and Cons of Parenthood 285

To (Re) Wed or Not to Wed? The Legal and Economic Issues 289

Stepfamilies 291

Relations between Former Spouses 294

Chapter 9 Conclusions, Predictions, and Prognostications 295

Impacts and Aftershocks for the Divorcing Parties 297

Men 298

Women 301

Some Final Miscellaneous Factoids Re: Love, Marriage, and Divorce 304

Divorce in America: Some Future Trends 307

Upheavals in American Households 310

Is Marriage Dead? 311

Societal Impact: the Long-Term Implications of Divorce in America 319

Appendix I More Clever Quotes Re: Love, Marriage, and Divorce 327

Appendix II The Author's Personal Compilation of Some Key Inspirational Sayings 333

Glossary 337

Selected Bibliography 341

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