Do I Want to Be A Mom?: A Woman's Guide to the Decision of a Lifetime


An informative, compassionate guide to the motherhood decision

"...give(s) a sense of what's ahead for new parents." --Baltimore Sun

Many women aren't sure how to best time motherhood in their lives. Others think they may want a child but aren't sure they really want to take on the responsibility. Still others want to be child-free, but they are afraid they will regret the decision later on when it's too late....

See more details below
$14.78 price
(Save 12%)$16.95 List Price
Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (22) from $1.99   
  • New (6) from $9.13   
  • Used (16) from $1.99   
Sending request ...


An informative, compassionate guide to the motherhood decision

"...give(s) a sense of what's ahead for new parents." --Baltimore Sun

Many women aren't sure how to best time motherhood in their lives. Others think they may want a child but aren't sure they really want to take on the responsibility. Still others want to be child-free, but they are afraid they will regret the decision later on when it's too late. Do I Want to Be a Mom? offers expert information, insights, and tools necessary for each woman to make her own best choice.

Dr. Diana Dell, an expert who is board certified in both obstetrics/gynecology and psychiatry, draws on her expertise to cover the emotional, physical, sexual, social, and financial aspects of this decision. Along with award-winning writer Suzan Erem, she also provides powerful anecdotes from women who speak openly of the fears, joys, regrets, and triumphs of motherhood or being child-free.

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780071400749
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill Professional Publishing
  • Publication date: 9/1/2003
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 240
  • Sales rank: 904,750
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.30 (h) x 0.58 (d)

Meet the Author

Diana L. Dell, M.D., FACOG, is board certified in obstetrics/gynecology and psychiatry and is a women's health expert at Duke University Medical Center. She is coauthor of The PMDD Phenomenon. A Durham, North Carolina, resident, she is past president of the American Medical Women's Association.

Suzan Erem is an award-winning author and journalist with fifteen years of experience writing for magazines and newspapers. She lives in State College, Pennsylvania, and has one child.

Read More Show Less

Table of Contents

Preface xi
Acknowledgments xv
Introduction xvii
1 Our Instincts, Goals, and Conflicts 1
It's Basic Biology 3
I Want to Carry On My Family 4
We Have Such Great Traditions 6
My Family Wants Me to Have Children 7
I Hope to Heal from My Dysfunctional Childhood 9
It's What Most People Do 11
I Have the Ability to Create Life 13
I May Learn Something About Myself 15
I Have So Much Love to Give 17
Children Are Just Fun! 19
I Just Want to Feel Loved 20
I Can Create a Being in My Own Image ... or Maybe Not 22
It's Part of My Faith 25
I'd Do It for Love 27
I'd Like to Build a Better World 29
2 Age Matters 31
Will There Be Other Moms My Age? 33
Where Will I Be in My Career? 35
How Well Will I Know Myself? 37
Will My Parents Be Around to Help? 39
How Will It Go with My Mother? 41
Will I Find the Right Partner? 43
Will I Have the Energy for Kids? 45
What About Stability? 47
3 Why Am I Worried? 49
Will I Lose Myself? 51
Can I "Do It All"? 52
Can I Handle the Responsibility? 54
Will I Like My Child? Will My Child Like Me? 56
Will I Become My Mother? 58
What if I Really Don't Want Children? 60
Am I Selfish if I Don't Have Children? 62
If I Don't Have Kids, Will I Feel Lonely When I'm Old? 64
4 What Will Pregnancy Do to My Health? 67
What if I'm Still Ambivalent After I Get Pregnant? 69
Is Childbirth as Rough as It Looks? 71
Is There Sex After Childbirth? 73
I'm Afraid to Say I'm Afraid 75
What if I'm Not Happy Right Away? 77
Will I Lose My Shape Forever? 79
Will I Be Happy When It's Over? 81
Will I Get Depressed? 83
Will I Feel Out of Control? 85
Are There Special Challenges for Lesbian Moms? 86
5 What Will Raising Children Do to My Health? 87
Should I Breastfeed? 89
Will I Get Enough Sleep? 91
Will I Be Able to Handle the Stress? 93
Can I Do All That Lifting? 95
Can Motherhood Be Good for My Mental Health? 96
What if I Have a Child with Disabilities? 97
6 What Does Having Children Do to a Relationship? 99
How Do We Talk About Kids? 101
Will We Be Able to Hear Each Other? 103
What if We Change Our Minds? 104
What if We Can't Agree About Kids? 106
What if We Can't Get Pregnant? 108
How Would We Divide the Parenting? 111
Could We Survive Baby Boot Camp? 113
How Will We Handle "Honey, I'm Home"? 115
Will There Be Time for a Reality Check? 117
Will We Still Want to Make Love? 119
How Much Time Do We Need for the Two of Us? 121
Will The "Little" Things Get Too Big? 123
Will It Get Any Easier on Us? 125
What if the Marriage Breaks Up? 129
Are Stepmothers Moms, Too? 131
7 Will the Village Be There When I Need It? 133
Will My Peers Be Able to Help? 135
Could My Parents Pitch In? 137
When Does Child Care Kick In? 138
Can I Call on Neighbors and Friends? 140
How Can the Schools Help? 142
Can I Trust What I Read in the Papers? 143
When Can I Ask for Help? 145
Who Will Help with the "Terrible Teens"? 147
Where Can I Make Child-Free Friends? 150
8 How Will Children Affect My Career? 153
What if I Don't Want to Give Up My Career? 155
Could I Turn into a SAHM? 158
Can I Take Time Off for a While to Have Kids? 160
Where Are the Kid-Friendly Careers? 162
9 What Does It Cost to Have and Raise Children? 165
What Do Fertility Treatments Cost? 167
What Does Artificial Insemination Cost? 169
What Does It Cost to Have a Baby? 170
What Will It Take to Outfit the Baby's Room? 172
What Does It Cost to Raise a Child? 174
What Will Education Cost? 177
What Price Will I Pay for Not Working? 178
How Would I Cope with the Cost of a Disability? 181
10 What If I Change My Mind? 183
Can I Have Kids After Forty? 185
Can I Adopt Late in Life? 187
What About International Adoption? 189
Can I Terminate This Pregnancy? 191
Can I Put This Baby Up for Adoption? 193
11 Will I Be a Good Mom? 195
What if I Fail? 197
Is Child-Free the Right Choice for Me? 199
What if I Regret Having Children? 201
What if I Regret Not Having Children? 203
Motherhood Is a Personal Choice 204
Words of Wisdom: Select Quotes from Our Interviews and Surveys 205
Works Cited 209
Resources 213
Index 227
Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star


4 Star


3 Star


2 Star


1 Star


Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation


  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

    If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
    Why is this product inappropriate?
    Comments (optional)