Do Parents Matter?: Why Japanese Babies Sleep Soundly, Mexican Siblings Don't Fight, and American Families Should Just Relax

by Robert A. LeVine, Sarah LeVine

Overview

When it comes to parenting, more isn't always better-but it is always more tiring

In Japan, a boy sleeps in his parents' bed until age ten, but still shows independence in all other areas of his life. In rural India, toilet training begins one month after infants are born and is accomplished with little fanfare. In Paris, parents limit the amount of agency they give their toddlers. In America, parents grant them ever more choices, independence, and attention.

Given our approach to parenting, is it any surprise that American parents are too frequently exhausted?

Over the course of nearly fifty years, Robert and Sarah LeVine have conducted a groundbreaking, worldwide study of how families work. They have consistently found that children can be happy and healthy in a wide variety of conditions, not just the effort-intensive, cautious environment so many American parents drive themselves crazy trying to create. While there is always another news article or scientific fad proclaiming the importance of some factor or other, it's easy to miss the bigger picture: that children are smarter, more resilient, and more independent than we give them credit for.

Do Parents Matter? is an eye-opening look at the world of human nurture, one with profound lessons for the way we think about our families.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781610398220
Publisher:	PublicAffairs
Publication date:	09/19/2017
Edition description:	Reprint
Pages:	272
Sales rank:	344,924
Product dimensions:	5.10(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Robert A. LeVine and Sarah LeVine have collaborated for forty-seven years and have written two previous books, Child Care and Culture and Literacy and Mothering. Robert is the Roy E. Larsen Professor of Education and Human Development, Emeritus, at Harvard University. Sarah is an anthropologist who has conducted research on four continents and coordinated the fieldwork of the Project on Maternal Schooling. Her books include Dolor y Alegria, Mothers and Wives, and The Saint of Kathmandu.

Table of Contents

Introduction: We the Parents: A Worldwide Perspective ix

1 Parent-Blaming in America 1

2 Expecting: Pregnancy and Birth 31

3 Infant Care: A World of Questions … and Some Answers 45

4 Mother and Infant: Face-to-Face or Skin-to-Skin? 67

5 Sharing Child Care: Mom Is Not Enough 91

6 Training Toddlers: Talking, Toileting, Tantrums, and Tasks 105

7 Childhood: School, Responsibility, and Control 139

8 Precocious Children: Cultural Priming by Parents and Others 169

9 Conclusions 181

Acknowledgments 193

Notes 195

References 211

Index 223

Photo section appears between pages 104-105

Editorial Reviews

"Fascinating...The authors' global perspective finds that human experience is varied and kids are resilient."—Laura Vanderkam, Wall Street Journal

"It took two accomplished (and married) anthropologists, Robert A. LeVine and Sarah LeVine, to synthesize years of research spanning the globe, then ask the basic question in the title of their new book: Do Parents Matter?...a well-informed argument."—Dan Saltzstein, New York Times Book Review

"I love this advice ... Do Parents Matter? pushes the conversation in the same provocative and essential way [as Pamela Druckerman's Bringing Up Bébé]. Because of course parents matter. But they're more effective when they tear their eyes away from all the conflicting advice and focus on the messy, complicated, contradictory kid in front of them."—Anna Davies, New York Post

"The LeVines have created a valuable book for parents. By exposing them to the practices and goals of parents and cultures around the world, they offer parents in the United States ideas for their own goals, and for how to react as pressures on parents increase in our country. It is particularly important for parents to rethink their roles, rather than continue the present hovering, to one that may produce children who learn from the first how to face the inevitable stresses of development with more self-confidence."—T. Berry Brazelton

"Parenting experts beware: the anthropologists are coming! Robert A. and Sarah Levine discover fascinating lessons on child-rearing, from the Japanese to the Gusii."
—Pamela Druckerman, author of Bringing Up Bébé

"From birth onward, humans distinguish themselves as Earth's most adaptable mammal. Robert A. and Sarah LeVine combine decades of observation with absorbing storytelling to reveal the near-infinite variation of paths to a healthy adulthood. Do Parents Matter? is a must-read for students of human development and concerned parents alike."—Sam Wang, professor of neuroscience, Princeton University, and coauthor, Welcome to Your Child's Brain

From the Publisher

08/01/2016
Harvard anthropologists Robert and Sarah LeVine examine parenting practices around the world in this illuminating and incisive text that aims for a fresh view of parenting in a wider context. The couple asserts that if parents in the U.S. knew more about how children are raised in other lands, they might forgo some of the “burdens” imposed by American culture and so-called experts. In one telling example (among many) the authors note that although bed-sharing is deemed dangerous by the American Academy of Pediatrics, throughout the world co-sleeping is quite commonplace. In Japan, they point out, where co-sleeping is universal, the infant mortality rate is among the world’s lowest, and the incidence of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is roughly half that of the U.S. And, while American parents stress over toilet training, many other cultures have a relaxed but effective approach. The authors’ survey leads them to assert that there is no “single pattern of parenting provided by evolution or historical necessity.” American readers will find the variety fascinating, whether or not they’re inspired to discard their cribs and nappies. Agent: Erika Storella, Gernert Company. (Sept.)

Publishers Weekly

2016-06-30
A close examination of parenting practices across the globe.At some point, all parents wonder if they are raising their children the “right” way. In this well-researched analysis of parenting tactics, the LeVines (co-authors: Literacy and Mothering: How Women's Schooling Changes the Lives of the World's Children, 2012, etc.) compare and contrast how parents from different cultures and ethnic groups—from Japan and China to Kenya and Central America—take care of their children. The authors studied the way women are treated in various cultures and discovered that differences are evident from the first moments of pregnancy. For instance, members of the Gusii tribe in Kenya believe it is wrong to announce the pregnancy, as it might draw ill will from the other women in the tribe. Compare that to the attitude in the United States, where the possibility of a child is usually announced as soon as possible. Hindus and Buddhists in India, Sri Lanka, and Nepal believe menstruation and birth are sources of pollution and take actions to prevent the contamination of others, while fathers in Central and South America are present throughout the entire pregnancy and birth. Once the child is born, breast-feeding is the norm, but there are vast differences in sleep habits and regarding how to talk to the infant or show signs of affection. The authors also examine a child’s access to toys, interactions with his siblings, the possibility of going to school and/or having chores or work to do, and the role each parent plays in the child’s early development. Overall, as many parents have grown to understand, the research shows that there is no one “right” way to parent, as every culture has its own traditions, but readers will learn helpful ideas from other countries, picking and choosing those that make the most sense for their individual situations. An intriguing assessment of the effectiveness of a variety of global parenting customs.

Kirkus Reviews