Does Wednesday Mean Mom's House or Dad's? Parenting Together while Living Apart

Overview

Thorough in coverage and updated with topics that affect today's families, Does Wednesday Mean Mom's House or Dad's?, Second Edition helps you keep your children in the number-one, priority spot before, during, and after your divorce. Nonjudgmental in tone, the new edition will show you how to put your kids' best interests first as you work with your spouse to parent together while living apart.

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Overview

Thorough in coverage and updated with topics that affect today's families, Does Wednesday Mean Mom's House or Dad's?, Second Edition helps you keep your children in the number-one, priority spot before, during, and after your divorce. Nonjudgmental in tone, the new edition will show you how to put your kids' best interests first as you work with your spouse to parent together while living apart.

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Editorial Reviews

Children's Literature - Paula McMillen
The title makes it clear that this is an advice book for parents who are getting divorced. What makes this book somewhat unique is that the author is an expert in child custody evaluations. This is the second edition of the book, suggesting that earlier audiences have found this perspective useful. Ackerman offers very specific and valuable guidelines for all stages of the major life transitions that divorce brings. His advice is consistently focused on the children's welfare as the primary driver, such as when he reminds parents that "[w]inning is never more important than the well-being of your children." Developmentally appropriate words for explaining to children of different ages what is happening, as well as a selection of representative age and gender-specific reactions are detailed. For example, Ackerman identifies when a child's problematic behavior is a normal reaction and when it may warrant a call to an outside expert. He also discusses what level of involvement in decision-making is appropriate for tweens or teens in determining where they will live. The typical problems seen in divorce situations are not glossed over, nor are the ways that parents can help or hinder the transition process. Divorce always causes problems for children; Dr. Ackerman seeks to help parents minimize the damage. The book is rich with examples based on Dr. Ackerman's experience with the courts and custody proceedings. He is able to assess the court's likely response to parents' decisions. One rather irritating aspect of the format is that key pieces of information in the text are separated out in small boxes labeled "Helpful Hints." While this might seem fine, such a label seems totallyinappropriate for advice such as, "Don't abuse your children and don't allow your children to be abused"—perhaps "Important Points" might have been a more accurate heading. While the major issues are summed up in a chapter called "Custody Do's and Don'ts," readers would be shortsighted to skip the rest of the book. The final chapter describes the kinds of experts who may be involved in custody procedures and offers guidance on how to evaluate them. An extensive, categorized list of resources, both print and online, is included. Unfortunately, there's a good chance that the people who most need to read this book won't. Still, it is well worth recommending to those parents who care enough to try and follow the advice offered here. A strong addition to a public library or personal collection. Reviewer: Paula McMillen, Ph.D.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780470127537
  • Publisher: Wiley
  • Publication date: 3/21/2008
  • Edition number: 2
  • Pages: 272
  • Sales rank: 594,958
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 9.11 (h) x 0.65 (d)

Meet the Author

Marc J. Ackerman, PHD, is a clinical psychologist and expert on child custody. He maintains a counseling and consulting practice in Milwaukee and is the author of several books for psychologists and lawyers on the topic of child custody, including Wiley's Clinician's Guide to Child Custody Evaluations, Third Edition and the Essentials of Forensic Psychological Assessment. He has been involved in thousands of custody evaluation cases and is the co-creator of ASPECT, a major child-custody evaluation instrument. Dr. Ackerman has worked with thousands of divorcing families and is a frequent speaker at conferences and on national television and radio talk shows.

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Table of Contents

Preface.

Acknowledgments.

Chapter I. A House Divided.

Facts About Divorce.

Chapter II. Moving Ahead: Telling Children About Divorce.

Concrete Thinkers in an Abstract Situation.

When Your Child is No Longer a Child.

Boys and Girls React Differently.

Adjustments Abound.

Mourning the End of a Marriage.

Not Enough Hours in the Day, Not Enough Friends in the World.

One Magical Wish.

Chapter III. Custody Options: The Best Interest of the Child.

Joint versus Sole Custody.

Chronic Mental Illness Leads to a Topsy-Turvy World.

Active Alcoholism or Other Drug Abuse and Children Don't Mix.

Physical or Sexual Abuse: Confounding Dilemmas.

Violating Orders, Communication Failure, Obstructing Visits.

Endangering Your Children.

Separate Lives Under One Roof, Then the Great Divide.

Giving Up Placement.

Grandparents: Help or Hindrance.

Chapter IV. Navigating the Legal Waters.

Finding An Attorney.

Don't be Attracted by Unrealistic Promises.

Avoid "Hired Guns" and "Dirty Tricks" Attorneys.

Switching Attorneys.

Telling Your Story in Court.

Acting as Your own Attorney.

Mediation as a First Step.

Collaboration.

Arbitration.

The Court Process.

The Guardian ad Litem.

The Custody Study.

Custody Evaluation.

To Supervise or Not To Supervise.

Removal Cases.

Going Back to Court.

Kidnapping.

Chapter V. Two of Everything? Dealing with the Practicalities of Placement and Custody.

Placement of Young Children.

The Ackerman Plan.

Bad Schedules.

General Rules.

Separating Children.

Uninterrupted Time.

Different Cities: Creating a Placement Road Map.

Making Things Work under New Rules.

The Master Schedule.

Visits and Flexibility Work Hand and Hand.

Dividing Property with an Eye on Details.

Parents' Rights.

College Education.

Religious Training.

Phone Calls.

Presents.

Vacations.

Finances.

Parents Working after Divorce.

Chapter VI. How to Parent Apart.

The Family Conference: Increasing Avenues of Communication.

A United Front.

Making Placement Better.

Power to the Children.

Children as Coequals.

Sleeping Arrangements.

Children in the Middle.

A Different Sort of Communication.

Fighting in Front of the Children.

Where to Live.

Problems with the Other Parent.

Parents Who Won't Visit.

Lack of Cooperation.

The Mentally Ill Parent.

Chapter VII. Maltreatment.

Physical Abuse.

Who Will Be the Abusers?

Proving Abuse.

Consequences of Childhood Physical Abuse.

Family/Domestic Violence.

Domestic Violence and Custody.

To Stay or Not to Stay: Is That Your Quandry?

Emotional/Psychological Abuse.

Sexual Abuse.

Who Are the Sexual Abusers?

Evaluatiang Sexual Abuse.

If You Think Your Child Has Been Sexually Abused.

Sexual Abuse Allegations: True or False.

Devastating Effects of Sexual Abuse.

Warnings.

Chapter VIII. The Only Certainty in Life is Change.

Move-Away Placement Plan.

Longer Lasting Reactions.

A Plan to Make Everyone Feel Better.

The Challenge of Additional Adjustments.

Remarriage.

The Role of the Stepparent.

Disciplining Children.

Cementing Relationships.

The Other Extended Family.

Change as Children Grow Older.

Chapter IX. Custody Do's and Don'ts

A Boy Named Chris.

Custody Do's.

Custody Don'ts.

Chapter X. Resources Abound.

Psychiatrists.

Psychologists.

Social Workers.

Professional Organizations.

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