Don't Divorce Us!: Kid's Advice to Divorcing Parents

Don't Divorce Us!: Kid's Advice to Divorcing Parents

by Rita Sommers-Flanagan, John Sommers-Flanagan, Chelsea Elander, John Sommers-Flanagan

ISBN-10: 1556201753

ISBN-13: 9781556201752

Pub. Date: 02/01/2000

Publisher: American Counseling Association

Product Details

American Counseling Association
Publication date:
Edition description:
New Edition
Product dimensions:
6.02(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.37(d)

Table of Contents

About the Authorsxi
How We Got the Input
Whose Side Are We On, Anyway?
Humanly Impossible?
The Wrong Question
Chapter 1Preparing for Divorce7
The Miserably Undecided
Overt Hostility
The "Stuff-It" Style
The Gift of Balance
Honesty as Love; Honesty as Weapon
Calling in Reinforcements
Stay Together for the Kids?
Chapter 2Setting Up the Rhythm of the New Life29
Forget "Custody"
Parental Contact
Residential Arrangements
Calming the Storm
A Word of Caution
Decoupling Money From Relationship
Splitting Siblings?
Parenting Across the Miles
When It's Down to One
Life in Two Lanes (Co-Parented Children)
Chapter 3Dealing With the Other Parent53
For the Kids' Sake, Get Along
Kindness as Damage Control
The Spirit of the Law Versus the Letter of the Law
Big Events: How to Ruin or Save Them
The Everyday Stuff
Don't Work It Out Through the Kids
The Wider Circle of Others
Chapter 4The New and Improved Parent71
No Displacement
No Use of Children as Buddies or Counselors
No Use of Children as Substitute Parents
Protect That Oldest Child
It's Okay to Have Rules and Values
A Scorned or Favored Parent
Special Issues of Gay and Lesbian Parents
Forgive Yourself (and the Other) and Move On
Help the Children Learn
The Best That You Can Be
Chapter 5Dating, Romance, and Recommitment87
Kids as Bait
Kids as Turn-Offs
Kids as Date Spies
Getting Serious (or Who's the Boss? Part I)
Chapter 6Stepparenting95
Forget the Rescue Fantasies
Who's the Boss? Part II
Relationship--First, Last, and Always
Slow, Steady, Gradual
Dangers of Disciplining
Stepsiblings: Be Fair, Be Watchful
Another Time Around
And Now for Some Good News
Chapter 7Exceptional Cases, Exceptional Needs107
The Tomb of the Unknown Parent
Partial Abandonment
Serious Pathology and Endangerment
Don't "Fake Good" for the Other Parent
Chapter 8Resources for Divorcing Families121
Use This Book!
Getting the Goods
Selecting Professional Resources
Divorce Resources for Kids
Divorce Resources for Parents
Stress Management Ideas for Parents
AppendixHelping Your Children Cope With Divorce: Age-Based Guidelines139

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