Don't Leave Me This Way: Or When I Get Back on My Feet You'll Be Sorry

by Julia Fox Garrison

Overview

Julia Fox Garrison refused to listen to the professionals she called Dr. Jerk and Dr. Panic, who—after she suffered a massive, debilitating stroke at age thirty-seven—told her she'd probably die, or to Nurse Doom, who ignored her emergency call button. Instead she heeded the advice of kind, gifted Dr. Neuro, who promised her he would "treat your mind as well as your body." Julia figured if she could somehow manage to get herself into a wheelchair, at least she'd always find parking. But after many, many months of hospitalization and rehab—with the help of family, friends, and her own indomitable spirit—Julia not only got into a wheelchair, but she got back out.

Don't Leave Me This Way is the funny, inspiring, profoundly moving true story of a woman's fight for her life and dignity—and her determined quest to awaken an entrenched, unfeeling medical community to the fact that there's always a human being inside every patient.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9780061120633
Publisher:	HarperCollins
Publication date:	05/29/2007
Edition description:	Reprint
Pages:	352
Product dimensions:	5.30(w) x 7.90(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Julia Fox Garrison lives north of Boston with her husband, young son, and dog. Before her stroke, she had a successful career as a software support manager. Now she is regularly invited as a motivational speaker to doctors' groups around the country.

Read an Excerpt

Don't Leave Me This Way
Or When I Get Back on My Feet You'll Be Sorry

Chapter One

One of the Rats in the Race

July 17, 1997

she was southbound on route 128, driving to work and doing her daily ritual, thanking God for her son, Rory, and her husband, Jim, and all of her family and her friends and her job and the fact that she and Jim were talking about having another baby and the fact that she had lost weight thanks to that stuff she was taking and the fact that she had a good marriage, and she finished thanking God and quickly glanced in the rearview mirror and changed lanes confidently and safely and started thinking about precisely how she was going to handle the switchover of the phone system at work while making everything look SEAMLESS to the customers calling in, customers who didn't know (and didn't much care) that her company was moving from one building to another, or that BIG, BIG CHANGES were in the works. And she thought, Bring it on.

Southbound on 128. And she thought, Seamless.

And as she was driving it didn't occur to her to thank God for the ability to stand, or to walk, or to drive, or to take a shower herself, or to dress herself, or to have a functioning circulatory system, or to make her way to the toilet unescorted, or to change her own tampon rather than watch helplessly as a total stranger did so, or to wipe her own ass for that matter. And had she thought of these things she would certainly have been thankful to God for them, but as of the morning of July 17, 1997, it had never occurred to her to even notice them, much less express gratitude for them.

Southbound on 128 and driving and thinking that last week her boss had sat her down and told her "Big, big changes are in the works," and "I'll be honest with you, the company is going through a major transition," and "We need you to keep everybody in your department upbeat, that's what you're so good at," and "Don't get me wrong, this is a question of survival," and "You're the best team player we've got," and "The transition has to be seamless." Big, big changes in the works. "Don't let them throw you."

Southbound on 128 and remembering the huge cutout of Babe Ruth she'd put together for the party with the president when he introduced his new management team and the theme was "The Winning Team." She'd managed to track down a life-size stand-up photo of the Babe and she'd put a baseball cap with the company logo on it and it got a standing ovation. She'd decorated her department with a baseball theme, even hiring a hot dog and popcorn vendor. There were different positions for her coworkers to play -- the batting cage, the pitching mound. Boosting morale within the company. Big, big changes were in the works and everything was going to be seamless, goddammit, seamless.

Southbound on 128, a little sleepy, time to wake up now, thankful that she knew the road as well as she did. Thankful she knew exactly what was in front of her. Bring it on.

A long time ago you had a vision.
"You're going to be in a wheelchair for a while. But it's going to make you a better person."
You saw yourself in a wheelchair in the dream. When you woke up you felt confused.

Her normal routine was that she would take a lunchtime walk with Berkeley, the other customer support manager; together, they would walk close to four miles in under an hour, and discuss department strategies while they got in a little exercise. On July 17, they both had to go to separate manager events, so they decided not to walk at lunchtime. She was feeling congested and tired and was slightly relieved that they were not going to be walking.

She sent out a short e-mail to her department, asking if anyone had some kind of cold medicine. She wanted to use it to help relieve her symptoms so she could continue with her plans for the day.

A coworker responded: "I picked up some over-the-counter stuff at the pharmacy; you're welcome to it."

She swung by the cubicle, picked up the medicine, headed to the bathroom, swigged some water, and got on with her day.

at noon she went to the building cafeteria and made a salad from the salad bar.

She had the salad in her office while she composed an e-mail regarding her department's imminent move to another facility, which was scheduled for the end of the week. She was planning on staying at the local hotel over the weekend to oversee the relocation. A coworker came by her office to ask if she wanted a ride to the manager's event in Tyngsboro. She said she was still writing the e-mail with the details of everyone's responsibilities for the move. "Go on ahead and I'll meet you there," she said.

At a little past two, she felt a throbbing pain in the right side of her head. It was as if a switch had been flipped. The pain was immediate -- a volcano erupting inside her skull.

She saw randy, the department vice president, and told him she had a throbbing headache. He suggested going to the bathroom and trying to throw up. He seemed to think that the pressure would release if she threw up her breakfast. The idea didn't exactly bathe her in relief.

The pain was now excruciating.

She knew it was serious. She knew she had to go to the hospital. She was unsure what hospital she should go to. There was the hospital where she had delivered her son, but it was not a hospital her primary care provider was affiliated with. Her new primary care doctor was about thirty-five miles away. The sister hospital was about ten miles away. She had to make a choice. But her head wasn't working in its usual optimal choice-making mode. She needed some help.

Don't Leave Me This Way
Or When I Get Back on My Feet You'll Be Sorry. Copyright © by Julia Garrison. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

What People are Saying About This

Brenda Michaels and Rob Spears

“She has raised the bar on honesty and irreverence… to the level of sacred.”

Gary Sobelson

“This book changed the way I practice medicine.”

Carol Kauffman

“Julia Fox Garrison’s story isn’t just about her own recovery, it’s about the best in all of us.”

Reading Group Guide

Introduction

ABOUT: Julia Fox Garrison's deeply moving memoir cannot fail to have a powerful impact on anyone who reads it, even if they've never had a major life crisis. One day at the office, Garrison innocently takes an over-the-counter cold remedy. Hours later she has a major vent in her brain that leaves her entire right side paralyzed and her mind confused and afraid. She fights to regain her health and her life, in the face of stubborn doctors who misdiagnose her and tell her that she will never walk again, or drive, or be anything like the highly active person she was before. Garrison holds her own against these limits with every weapon in her arsenal, from outright anger, to insisting on regular visits from a manicurist. With bravery, honesty, and fierce humor, she leads the reader through her recovery step by step. She gives the reader an uncompromising look into the medical industry and its pitfalls and into the radiant strength of one woman's heart.

Questions for Discussion

QUESTION: 1. What is it about Garrison's character before her injury that helps her to fight misdiagnosis and recover?

2. When someone is disabled, receiving help can be both a blessing and a challenge. Discuss some of the ways in which both were true for Garrison.

3. Garrison writes at length about the problem of getting doctors to really listen to their patients, and then to respect what they say about their own symptoms. Why do you think this problem is so widespread?

4. Discuss the roles that Garrison's family—parents, siblings, husband and child—played in her recovery.

5. Garrison insists that she somehow knows that her diagnosis is wrong. Where does this kind of knowing come from?

6. Anger plays a great part in Garrison's story; it is definitely a healing tool. What part does acceptance play?

7. How did you feel about the fact that the corporation that made the cold remedy was never held responsible for what happened to Garrison?

8. At the end of the book, Garrison includes a list of guidelines for doctors. Would you show these guidelines to your own doctor? Why or why not?

9. How did you react to the episode where Garrison's well-meaning brother drops off a whole cooked chicken for her and then leaves, forcing her to lower her face into it in order to eat it?

10. After reading Garrison's story, do you feel that you might think differently about your own health and you relationship with doctors and medical care?

Editorial Reviews

Fierce optimism and even fiercer wit…(A) unique tone and utterly un-maudlin appeal.” — Elle

“ Garrison can write. She is sharp, terse, tough and wry, especially wry.” — Detroit Free Press

“Worth reading, every page of it.” — Philadelphia Inquirer

“Garrison is exceptional because of her response to her experiences, not because of them.” — BookPage

“Inspiring...A moving story that pulls readers through her most humbling and most triumphant moments.” — Boston Magazine

“Readers can bring this book to the beach and laugh out loud...There are also moments showing Garrison’s incredible sensitivity.” — Chicago Sun-Times

“The inspiring story of a feisty woman who stands up, literally and figuratively, and fights for her rights.” — Kirkus Reviews

“Her humorous, tear-jerking, struggle-to-recover-against-all-odds story is a lesson in finding silver linings.” — Publishers Weekly

“A stroke (literally) of luck helped define the essence of her life. Her inspirational story can help us find ours.” — Mehmet Oz MD, author of YOU, THE OWNER'S MANUAL Mehmet Oz, MD, author of YOU, THE OWNER'S MANUAL

“This book changed the way I practice medicine.” — Gary Sobelson, MD, President, New Hampshire Medical Society

“Julia Fox Garrison’s story isn’t just about her own recovery, it’s about the best in all of us.” — Carol Kauffman, Ph.D. Professor, Harvard Medical School

“She has raised the bar on honesty and irreverence… to the level of sacred.” — Brenda Michaels and Rob Spears, hosts of Conscious Talk Radio

“Wickedly humorous, brutally honest.” — Chicago Tribune

“Inspirational is too weak a word to describe Garrison’s memoir.” — Booklist

From the Publisher

Fierce optimism and even fiercer wit…(A) unique tone and utterly un-maudlin appeal.

Elle

Inspiring...A moving story that pulls readers through her most humbling and most triumphant moments.

Boston Magazine

This book changed the way I practice medicine.

Gary Sobelson

Readers can bring this book to the beach and laugh out loud...There are also moments showing Garrison’s incredible sensitivity.

Chicago Sun-Times

Garrison can write. She is sharp, terse, tough and wry, especially wry.

Detroit Free Press

Worth reading, every page of it.

Philadelphia Inquirer

Garrison is exceptional because of her response to her experiences, not because of them.

BookPage

A stroke (literally) of luck helped define the essence of her life. Her inspirational story can help us find ours.

Mehmet Oz MD

She has raised the bar on honesty and irreverence… to the level of sacred.

Brenda Michaels and Rob Spears

Wickedly humorous, brutally honest.

Chicago Tribune

Julia Fox Garrison’s story isn’t just about her own recovery, it’s about the best in all of us.

Carol Kauffman

Inspirational is too weak a word to describe Garrison’s memoir.

Booklist

Wickedly humorous, brutally honest.

Chicago Tribune

Inspirational is too weak a word to describe Garrison’s memoir.

Booklist

Readers can bring this book to the beach and laugh out loud...There are also moments showing Garrison’s incredible sensitivity.

Chicago Sun-Times

"A stroke (literally) of luck helped define the essence of her life. Her inspirational story can help us find ours."

MD - Mehmet Oz

Barnes & Noble Discover Great New Writers
Picture this: You're in your mid-30s, you have a terrific husband, an adorable young son, and a great job. You're at your office on an ordinary day, when suddenly you get a bad headache. The pain worsens and becomes unbearable. Time for an Excedrin? Nope, you're having a stroke.

Welcome to the world of Julia Fox Garrison, the real-life participant in this nightmare-come-true. Writing in a powerful second-person voice, she describes her harrowing first days in the hospital, and ultimately, learning that her left side is now paralyzed. With indomitable spirit and incredible determination, Garrison begins, with the help of her friends and family, the overwhelming job of regaining mobility while staving off the pompous and misinformed doctors who not only misdiagnose her but are committed to her acceptance of their judgments -- including their verdict that she'll spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair.

Terrifying, sad, and inspirational, Garrison's memoir is also, improbably, hysterically funny. With an uncanny sense of irony, she infuses her painful road to recovery with comic relief at every turn. But the most surprising aspect of her tale is the cause of her stroke, a shocker that will leave readers fuming -- and tossing their over-the-counter cold remedies into the trash. (Fall 2006 Selection)

bn.com

Garrison, a 37-year-old Boston-area woman with a great husband and a fine three-year old boy, was busy at work when she suddenly felt "a throbbing pain in the right side of her head... a volcano erupting inside her skull." The next thing she knew, her family was gathered around her hospital bed, and she couldn't feel the whole left side of her body. She'd had a massive brain hemorrhage and had only survived thanks to some very risky surgery. Doctors were divided about why she'd had this stroke; indeed, Garrison spent the next weeks and months fending off a dire diagnosis, vasculitis, from the pseudonymous "Dr. Jerk." Most of the professionals she dealt with were negative, wanting her to accept that she'd never walk again or have a full, satisfying life. But Garrison, with the help of her supportive husband, brothers, parents, friends and a few gifted therapists and doctors, managed an extraordinary recovery. By book's end, she is walking (albeit with difficulties), actively parenting again, trying to sue the makers of the cold syrup that triggered her stroke and giving motivational talks to doctors' groups. Her humorous, tear-jerking, struggle-to-recover-against-all-odds story is a lesson in finding silver linings. (June 13) Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.

Publishers Weekly

Garrison was a thirtysomething software professional living in suburban Boston and surrounded by a large and loving family when she suffered what was eventually diagnosed as a brain hemorrhage and stroke that left one side of her body paralyzed. This book, based on her privately printed memoir, P.S. Julia: Missing a Piece of Your Mind Can Be Puzzling, tells the story of her more than yearlong struggle toward recovery in the 1990s. Garrison has few kind words for the medical profession or the Boston-area hospitals at which she was treated and does not downplay the many indignities of her intensive rehabilitation effort, including her guilt over not being able to take proper care of her young son. This well-written, episodic memoir is neither a caregiver's guide nor a self-help manual, and despite the author's best efforts to be flippant and put a happy face on her medical calamities, it is more harrowing and disturbing than amusing or quirky. Appropriate for public libraries, especially those lacking in up-to-date personal medical narratives by younger people, such as Tania Katan's remarkably upbeat account of her struggle with breast cancer, My One-Night Stand with Cancer. Martha E. Stone, Massachusetts General Hosp. Lib., Boston Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.

Library Journal

Wisecracking memoirs of a young woman who suffered a stroke and is still working to recover from it. Garrison was only 37 when the stroke occurred in the right hemisphere of her brain, leaving her with impaired vision and balance and paralysis on the left side of her body. The author writes disconcertingly in the third person in the two first chapters, switches to the second person for the following chapters, then changes to the first person for the final two chapters. Possibly her intention is to reflect changes in her perception of herself as she experiences a devastating life-altering injury and slowly comes to terms with what has happened to her. Garrison, however, is not subtle; she yells, curses, cries (in private), jokes, belittles, rages and demands. Doctors she does not like she dubs Dr. Jerk and Dr. Panic, and she uses quick sarcasm on unnamed nurses, aides, therapists and others who don't measure up. Her humor may sometimes be forced and a bit heavy-handed, but it is most often directed at herself. She firmly believes that attitude is the secret to success, and her determination to survive and to get better sees her through some exceedingly rough times. Her early excursions outside the hospital are nearly disastrous yet truly funny, as are her adventures at home with a three-year-old. While chemotherapy is forced upon her, she explores other avenues on her own: acupuncture, Botox, a faith healer at a friend's church and even a teenager in a coma who is believed by some to be in direct contact with Jesus. In the end, there is no magic cure, and her recovery can only ever be partial. If there is a message here, it's for anyone who's had a bruising encounter with the health-caresystem. The inspiring story of a feisty woman who stands up, literally and figuratively, and fights for her rights as a human being.

Kirkus Reviews