Don't Name Your Baby: What's Wrong with Every Name in the Book

Overview

Choosing a name is one of the first things expectant parents do. Thus, David Narter has created Don't Name Your Baby: What's Wrong with Every Name in the Book as a help to parents-to-be as they consider a name for their newborn. Here at last is the book that recognizes that choosing what not to name a baby is probably as important as choosing its name.

A name affects who a person will become — a lousy name is almost always the doorway to a lousy childhood. Parents should know ...

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Overview

Choosing a name is one of the first things expectant parents do. Thus, David Narter has created Don't Name Your Baby: What's Wrong with Every Name in the Book as a help to parents-to-be as they consider a name for their newborn. Here at last is the book that recognizes that choosing what not to name a baby is probably as important as choosing its name.

A name affects who a person will become — a lousy name is almost always the doorway to a lousy childhood. Parents should know their child will be harassed, no matter what name is given, but they must also consider the potential downside of the names they are pondering for their child. Sample entries are:
— Amy: Amy has such a cutesy, juvenile feel that most girls named Amy never get promoted past third grade.
— Andrea: Oh my God! Means manly" in Greek.
— Charles: Prince Charles has ruined this name for everyone.
— Chrystal: You're going to name your baby after a shiny rock?
— Harold: Most Harolds tend to marry women named Gladys. So until Gladys picks up, you might want to stay away from this one or your boy will be lonely.
— Jesse: A name inextricably linked to America's most famous killer. Good choice.
— Jordan: You're naming your little girl after a 220-pound male athlete!? Have you considered Butkus? Larry? Wilt? Kobie?
— Tammy: There are some things from which a name can never recover, and five pounds of eye-liner is one of them.

As an added benefit, Don't Name Your Baby provides lists of names for ugly babies, babies who will be old before their time, dog names, faddish names, names no one can live up to, names that guarantee your child will get beat up at school, names for jobless babies,scented names, and the ultimate list of steady, reliable names. A wonderful gift for a friend."

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Editorial Reviews

Claire Martin
Funny, and a national service if it prevents more babies from being named Brittany.
Denver Post
Mark Brown
Why read Narter's handy guide? Because it's funny.
Chicago Sun-Times
Lisa Friedman-Miner
"Don't Name Your Baby" spoofs the whole name-book genre.
Daily Herald
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781581822083
  • Publisher: Sourcebooks, Incorporated
  • Publication date: 6/28/2001
  • Pages: 128

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Sort by: Showing all of 4 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 2, 2003

    I thought it was funny....

    I think that this book may have received some harsh criticism from some of the more defensive critics. I have read some of those reviews and I think that they might have taken this book far too seriously. Chances are, they didn't like what it said about their own name, or perhaps their children's names. I believe that this book is good for what it is; an humorous and even truthful poke at names which DO evoke such connotations as 'dog' or maybe 'future porn star' (as in 'Max' and 'Candy' respectively). I reccomend this book for anyone who has a sense of humor.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 30, 2002

    veary funny

    it is a funny book that all soon to be mothers should have.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 30, 2001

    Dave Narter best author out there?

    The best book ever written about names. A must buy. It should be on everybody's christmas list.By: c/o '01 ML

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 11, 2001

    BEST BABY NAMES EVER!!

    Considering the fact that I'm 5 months pregnant I needed something humorous to read. This did it for me- and I wont be calling my son Elliott- smelliott!! Ha Ha

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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