Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Teens: Simple Ways to Keep Your Cool in Stressful Times

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Overview

Now the #1 bestselling author of the Don't Sweat the Small Stuff Series, Richard Carlson, Ph.D., offers teenagers simple, helpful wisdom for coping with everyday issues. Anyone who thinks teens have it easy hasn't been to a high school recently. As the headlines remind us almost daily, America's teenagers deal with stress in just about every facet of their lives: academics, sports, social situations, family life, money matters, even work. Now Richard Carlson, author of the Don't Sweat series, with sales of 12 ...
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Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Teens: Simple Ways to Keep Your Cool in Stressful Times

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Overview

Now the #1 bestselling author of the Don't Sweat the Small Stuff Series, Richard Carlson, Ph.D., offers teenagers simple, helpful wisdom for coping with everyday issues. Anyone who thinks teens have it easy hasn't been to a high school recently. As the headlines remind us almost daily, America's teenagers deal with stress in just about every facet of their lives: academics, sports, social situations, family life, money matters, even work. Now Richard Carlson, author of the Don't Sweat series, with sales of 12 million copies, applies the same techniques to teens that have made his other books required reading for anyone coping with life's everyday challenges. In simple, straightforward language, Dr. Carlson addresses common teen concerns with chapters such as: "Make Peace with Your Mistakes," "Be Creative in Your Rebellion," "Be Okay with Your Bad Hair Day," "Turn Down the Drama Meter," and "Notice Your Parents Doing Things Right." As with his other Don't Sweat the Small Stuff titles, teens and their parents will find that Richard Carlson's positive approach helps to minimize the impact stressful situations have on their lives
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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
The author of the bestselling Don't Sweat the Small Stuff series has turned his attention to teens. In his new book, Richard Carlson offers tips and advice covering a variety of topics. In the introduction, he writes of his own experience when he was a teen. His life consisted of the everyday ups, downs, dramas, and catastrophes that every teen lives through. But at the core, Carlson was happy, and he was inspired to work with people and help them to realize their own sense of happiness. This desire spilled over to his adulthood and gave birth to his Don't Sweat The Small Stuff books.

Carlson's tone throughout the book will surprise and please teenagers. He promises not to talk any differently than he usually does or even try to impress them. Instead, Carlson offers advice and hopes that teens will listen.

Among the many topics covered are "Be Happy for Others," "Drop the Drama,"and "Make Peace with Boredom." The book consists of 100 topics, each about two pages long. Carlson recommends ways to deal with all sorts of stressful situations in a clear-cut manner. With a book as sound and complete as this, it easy to see why Carlson is a favorite with Oprah and why he is sure to be a new favorite with teens.

Order the eBook now and from September 6th through October 23rd, we'll donate 25% of the eBook proceeds to The Silver Lining Foundation. The Silver Lining Foundation offers children with cancer or other life threatening diseases the opportunity to enjoy fun-filled adventure activities in the serene settings of Aspen, CO.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780786886333
  • Publisher: Hyperion
  • Publication date: 9/28/2000
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 6.50 (h) x 0.50 (d)

Meet the Author

Richard Carlson, Ph.D.

Richard Carlson, Ph.D., was the author of the bestselling Don't Sweat the Small Stuff series. He passed away in 2006.

Kristine Carlson has a gift for creating lifelong relationships and is very dedicated to her family, friendships, and personal growth. She loves riding horses, running, and solitude. Richard and Kris were married for over 21 years. She lives in Northern California.

Biography

Richard Carlson, whose Ph.D. is in psychology, is considered one of the foremost experts in happiness and stress-reduction around the world. He is the author of fifteen popular books including the runaway bestseller, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and It's All Small Stuff, which was named the No. 1 bestselling book in America for two consecutive years, a feat never before achieved in publishing.

Dr. Carlson has become a worldwide phenomenon as well. His books appear in over 100 countries, resulting in over 40 million people worldwide reading one of the books in the Don't Sweat series. In 1997, he was chosen by People magazine as one of the most intriguing people to watch in the world and has been a popular guest on shows such as The View, Oprah, Today, and CNN.

Author biography courtesy of Hyperion Books.

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    1. Hometown:
      Northern California
    1. Education:
      San Jose State University, Pepperdine University; Ph.D., Sierra University

Read an Excerpt

An Excerpt from Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Teens Introduction

I loved being a teen. Then again, sometimes I hated it. I was often enthused but at times apathetic. Occasionally I had vision and a purpose, but other times I was totally confused. Sometimes I was nice, but other times I could be quite selfish, even a real jerk. The first time I fell in love was when I was a teen. That was also the first time I flunked a test. I was a talented athlete but not a great student. At times I was confident, but then again I was embarrassed a lot too. In high school I was so frightened to speak in front of groups that I fainted -- twice. I was excited about my future but also a little scared. I was probably a pretty typical teen.

Yet despite the difficulties I faced, I was always, deep down, a happy person, a natural-born "peacemaker." I cared about the feelings of others and was saddened by cruelty. I loved and appreciated my life, my family, and my friends. For the most part, I stayed out of trouble. I remember wanting to do the right thing. My guess is that a lot of this applies to you too.

Before my teen years were over, I knew I wanted to dedicate my life to the study of happiness and to help others do the same. In college, I became a "big brother" for the Big Brothers of America program, which was one of the highlights of my young life. That, along with a few other things I was involved in, taught me, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that the best and surest way to become happy and content was by being thoughtful and helpful to others.

Over time, I learned that there were a few other major components to being happy and successful. Much of it is pretty simple. It involves perspective, wisdom, and most of all, the ability to not be irritated, bothered, and annoyed by the day-to-day things that happen to all of us. In short, the key is to stop sweating the small stuff!

At some point, it became obvious to me (as I'm sure it already is for you) that certain "big stuff" is going to happen to all of us -- and that there isn't anything we can really do about it, except, perhaps, to pray for strength and to do our best. Every single one of us experiences loss, difficulties, obstacles, and tragedies. The details will differ, but we all have problems.

And that's precisely why it's so important to learn to stop sweating the small stuff. Life is hard enough when we have to deal with really significant things. But if we can't deal with even the little stuff very well, then we're in for a rocky road. In fact, if we can't learn to stop sweating the small stuff, we're pretty much guaranteed to be stressed out, frustrated, and unhappy much of the time, because either we will be dealing with something really big or we'll be stressing over something fairly small. After all, everything is either one or the other -- big or small.

Most people agree that it's pretty tough being a teen. All things considered, however, it's clear to me that it's tougher now than ever. There are the obvious things -- drugs, violence, two-income families, dangerous sexual issues, divorce, peer pressure, aggression, and the influence of technology. But there are the less obvious things too -- not feeling needed or wanted, mixed messages from parents and society, a ton of negative role models everywhere we look, incredible pressure to perform, self-worth based on accomplishments, and an insecure future, to name just a few.

While learning to stop sweating the small stuff won't make these things go away and won't solve all your problems immediately, it will make dealing with them a little easier. The reason: As you learn to be more accepting of life and as little things don't get to you as much, you will get used to handling things in healthier, easier ways, and with far less struggle. You will become happier, more content and confident, and more at peace with yourself. Consequently, over time, even the big things won't seem quite as bad or as insurmountable.

When we get bent out of shape by little things, when we are irritated at ourselves and others, our (over)reactions not only make us stressed out and miserable, but they actually get in the way of our getting what we want. We lose our bearings, cloud our vision, stumble, and get down on ourselves. We also tend to annoy others who might be in a position to help us or guide us. In short, sweating the small stuff while trying to maneuver through your teens is a huge distraction. It's a little like playing basketball on a slippery ice rink! In other words, your own frustrations and reactions will get in the way of being able to see answers and solutions.

It's understandable why most of us sweat the small stuff. To begin with, we certainly see a lot of others doing it. When we're in the car, for example, and an adult driver is cursing at traffic and clenching his fists, the subtle message is "If life isn't exactly the way you want it to be, you should become upset." We get tens of thousands of these "Go ahead and sweat the small stuff" lessons when we're kids and while we're growing up. Think back. How many times did someone in that situation say to you, "Don't worry about it. Traffic is simply a part of life. We will get to where we need to go and we'll probably be on time too"? Probably not very often!

Another example: When someone is criticized, or feels someone doesn't like him or her, the typical response is to become defensive or hurt. Again, how many times when you were growing up did you hear someone, after being criticized, respond by saying "Criticism is just a way that certain people express themselves. It says less about me than it does about that person's need to criticize me. It's okay, there's no need to take it personally"? In other words, how many people didn't sweat the criticism?

How about when something doesn't go someone's way -- she has a minor setback, a traffic ticket, a difference of opinion, or loses her keys? As you know, the typical reaction is to complain, wish that life were different, and feel bad, angry, or ripped off. Have you ever watched adults waiting in line in a grocery store or post office? If so, you'll often see loads of frustration, glaring at watches, and under-the-breath comments. Very seldom do you see people exhibiting great patience in day-to-day living.

Yet can you imagine what your life would be like if you learned to sweat the small stuff even a little less often -- if these kinds of things, and so many others, simply didn't get to you very much? Can you imagine the edge you'd enjoy in life? No, your life wouldn't be perfect. Yet it would be substantially easier and more manageable. You would get along with others even better than you already do, and your communication skills would improve. You'd feel really good about yourself most of the time, and even when you screwed up, you'd get over it more quickly. Likewise, you'd be more confident because everything wouldn't seem like such a big deal and the stakes wouldn't seem so high. You'd be easier on others too, more patient and forgiving, for example. You'd have more fun too, because your sense of humor would get better, and you'd see the funny side of things. As we learn in Zen philosophy, when you let go of things rather than struggle against them, your life will begin to flow, and when it does, you'll be on your way to a great life.

There's no question that being around someone who doesn't sweat the small stuff very often (teens or nonteens) is pretty cool and reassuring. And that person can be you. Truthfully, it's not very difficult because all it involves is a little insight, trying a few new things, and looking at stuff a little differently. In fact, it's probably going to be even easier for you than for your parents and other adults because they have far more years of bad habits to overcome. My experience in working with and talking to teens is that you guys pick up on this stuff faster than anyone.

I'm not going to try to lecture you. I don't think you need me to do that. Unlike some people, I don't think the average teen of today is "messed up" any more than the average teen was back when I was a teen.

Nor am I going to try to be one of you. I'm not. I'm thirty-nine years old and haven't been a teen for almost twenty years. In fact, my daughters will be teens before too long. I'm not going to try to impress you in any way, such as trying to speak or write any different from the way I usually do. I'm just going to be myself. I've received so much mail over the years from teens that indicate that you're plenty able to read and appreciate my material.

My goal in writing this book is simply to share with you in the same way that I've shared before. My greatest strength is to teach people to be a little happier. I believe that the same types of things that help older people to become happier apply to teens as well.

I hope you'll give these strategies a fair try. I think you're going to like them, and I believe that they can make a difference. I've been blessed with thousands of beautiful letters from teens around the world, saying how much learning to stop sweating the small stuff has helped them deal with life more effectively. I hope you will feel the same way. My guess is that as you incorporate these ideas into your life, you will sense a world of difference. Good luck and have fun!

Copyright ©2000 Richard Carlson, Ph.D.

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Table of Contents

Introduction 1
1. Don't Throw Up on Your Friends! 7
2. Convince Yourself that One Teen Does Make a Difference 10
3. Don't Sweat the Breakups 12
4. Practice Mental Aikido 14
5. Avoid the Words "I Know" When Someone Is Talking 17
6. Check Out These Odds! (the Likelihood that Everyone Will Like You) 19
7. Get Out of the Emergency Lane 22
8. Be OK with Your Bad Hair Day 25
9. Drop the Drama 28
10. Get High! 30
11. Try Not to Become a Fault-Finder 32
12. Let Him Have His Accident Somewhere Else 34
13. Be Selective When Choosing Your Battles 36
14. Make Peace with Your Mistakes 39
15. Be Happy for Others 41
16. Volunteer Your Time 43
17. Check Out the Space Between Your Thoughts 45
18. Ask a Trusted Friend or Family Member, "What Are My Weaknesses?" 47
19. Root for the Underdog 50
20. Make Peace with Boredom 53
21. Don't Let Your Low Moods Trick You 56
22. Don't Let the Low Moods of Others Trick You Either 60
23. See Your Choices as Forks in the Road 63
24. Get Involved in Sports 65
25. Become a Teenage Warrior 67
26. Put It on Paper 70
27. Don't Expect Life to Be Easy or Trouble-Free 72
28. Dare to Show Enthusiasm 74
29. Find Peace Through Giving 76
30. Become 25 Percent Less Critical 78
31. Walk Away 80
32. Allow a New Idea to Come to You 83
33. Get Ready Early 86
34. Avoid the 90-10 Trap 89
35. Be the Role Model 92
36. Don't Underestimate Yourself 94
37. Get Over Completion Anxiety 97
38. See the Possibilities 100
39. Practice Not Sweating the Really Small Stuff 102
40. Don't Keep Your Pain a Secret 105
41. Make a Good First Impression 107
42. Be Careful to Avoid the "I'll Show You" Trap 109
43. Experience Perfect Imperfection 111
44. Dare to Be Ethical 113
45. Become "Button-Proof" 115
46. Trust Your Inner Signals 117
47. Take Time Out to Watch the Sunset 120
48. Read a Minimum of Eight Pages a Day 122
49. Make Space in Your Heart for Those Really Bad Days 124
50. Don't Sweat the Future 126
51. Experience Vibrant Health 129
52. Visit the Elderly 131
53. Be Aware of the Law of Diminishing Returns 133
54. Develop Your Presence 135
55. Remind Yourself that No One Is Out to Get You 138
56. Go the Extra Mile 140
57. Watch Your Language 142
58. Be Creative in Your Rebellion 144
59. Let People Talk 146
60. Reflect on the Map 148
61. Dish Out Praise 150
62. Don't Burn Bridges 153
63. Understand the Law of Focus 155
64. Use Reminder Cards 157
65. Be Glad to Be a Teen 159
66. Experience Deep Listening 161
67. Be Wary of Friends Who Encourage You to Dwell 164
68. Create Your Own Special Place 166
69. Remember to Be Grateful 168
70. Read the Fine Print 171
71. Look for the Innocence 173
72. Don't Exaggerate Your Troubles 175
73. Develop a Theme for the Day 177
74. Apply the 1-10 Scale 179
75. Remain Optimistic 181
76. Empathize 183
77. Look Who's Doing Yoga 185
78. Be Careful that You're Not Practicing Being Unhappy 187
79. Cut Your Losses 190
80. Examine Your Headlines 193
81. Notice Your Parents Doing Things Right 196
82. Become a Little Less Stubborn 199
83. Remember to Be Kind 201
84. Take Criticism a Little Less Personally 203
85. Understand the Four Pillars of Thought: Pillar #1--The What 206
86. Pillar #2--The When 208
87. Pillar #3--The How 210
88. Pillar #4--The Fact Of 212
89. Tame Your Anger 214
90. Don't Be an Approval-Seeker 216
91. Don't Be a Disapproval-Seeker Either 219
92. Keep Your Sense of Humor 221
93. Admit that You're Wrong--or that You've Made a Mistake 224
94. Remember that Everyone Has the Right to Be Happy 227
95. Go with the Flow 229
96. Experience Delayed Reactions 232
97. Keep in Mind that as One Door Closes, Another One Opens 234
98. Embrace the Attitude, "This Too Shall Pass" 236
99. Listen to Those Wake-Up Calls 239
100. Continue Your Journey 241
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 25 )
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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 25 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 10, 2008

    Excellent self-help book. A must for all teens.

    This book has totally changed my life. Before reading this book, I was always 'sweating the small stuff.' I would get mad at my parents, try to get my room looking perfect, and expecting my friends to be nice to me all the time. Other people may say 'don't sweat the small stuff' is just common sense, but sometimes, we lose our common sense and need to regain our knowledge. Having a copy of this book definitely helps to remind what's the priority in your life. Also, not all of this book is common sense, such as living in the present moment. I was always thinking of the future or groan about the past instead of focusing on my life right now.

    8 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 7, 2006

    Great guru!

    This book really helped me pull through my struggles with myself and relationships with my friends. I highly recommend that any troubled teen read this book it give you a whole new perspective!

    4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted July 12, 2009

    Not really useful for teens as it is billed.

    Teens in need of guidance will not be patient with this book. Although it is filled with accurate information, it is too academically put together.This book would serve someone who has set himself on a path of self-improvement, which does not apply to the average teen. so, this is a text book for an adult to use as a resource while working with teens.

    3 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 23, 2001

    I Feel Fine Now

    This book really helped me to understand the fact that whenever you feel like the world's about to end because you made a mistake or a screw up, it isn't! I've now gained new hope for the future and I can now control my emotions whenever I get in a jam!

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 12, 2002

    Neat Book

    This book really did inspire me and help me to see things in a better way. This is an excellent book for any teen.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 16, 2012

    Thank you!!!!!!!!

    Well i as a child love this book and i have went from a big trubble maker to a somewhat truble maker. This book has helped me notice what im doing and notice my mistakes. It really truly has helped me in life and wich way i should choose thank you and thank you for your time .


    Sincerly
    Your reader,
    Hayley B.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 25, 2009

    This has changed my life

    I could never quite figure life and people and myself out. This book was a step towards that, figuring out "what is going on?". I had given up on happiness, now I know you choose to be happy and there are life and daily strategies to do so. If you did not have parents who taught you this, buy this book, if you are ready for it. Not everybody is but if you are seeking this book is a great find. Thank you Mister Carlson. I'm not much of a title person. I'm less impressed by the PHD but by your insights and unpretensciousness.
    rickkeppler@yahoo.com

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 20, 2001

    Perfect and Masterful as always!

    My spanish teacher has the originol Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and it was great but this one is the best of them all!!! I love it! It really does help! I highly reccomend it to those who haven't read it!!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 7, 2001

    hi i'm alice!

    This book was awsome!!!It really helped me and I never got bored reading it!!!!!!

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 19, 2013

    No

    I dont rea like itlly

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 5, 2012

    B (:

    Thank you i love this book

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 9, 2012

    This is the best book.......

    I myself as a teen think this book has helped i did not realise that i "threw up " on my friends so much so i think this book is great !!!!!! I love love love it!!!!!!!!!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted March 22, 2010

    A Great Counseling Tool

    A colleague of mine referred me to this book. I came to find out that there was a journal. I am using this tool to assess and assist adolescents with finding themselves, identifying their inner negative feelings, and moving forward. Great activities!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 14, 2000

    A great book from a teen who read it

    i thought the book was great. it helped me a lot

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 7, 2000

    You Won't sweat the small stuff~

    ** This book was really good and it helped me a lot I recommend it!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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    Posted August 3, 2009

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 27, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

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    Posted May 8, 2010

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 14, 2013

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    Posted March 7, 2010

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