Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Women: Simple and Practical Ways to Do What Matters Most and Find Time for You

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Women: Simple and Practical Ways to Do What Matters Most and Find Time for You

4.5 10
by Kristine Carlson, Richard Carlson

View All Available Formats & Editions

If you're like most women, "hectic" is how life is on the good days.

But it doesn't have to be that way. Part of the #1 national best-selling series Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, this guide will escort you through the twists and turns of the everyday with a healthy dose of practical wisdom, calm spirits, and good humor.  See more details below


If you're like most women, "hectic" is how life is on the good days.

But it doesn't have to be that way. Part of the #1 national best-selling series Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, this guide will escort you through the twists and turns of the everyday with a healthy dose of practical wisdom, calm spirits, and good humor.

Editorial Reviews
In this refreshing addition to the Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff franchise, Kristine Carlson offers women a treasury of inspiration to overcome the petty things that can get in the way of living a full and joyful life.
Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
An easy-to-read collection of short essays meant to uplift and inspire soccer moms everywhere, this addition to the Don't Sweat the Small Stuff series offers nothing more nor less than its predecessors. Carlson (whose husband, Richard, wrote the original book) joined him in writing Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love. This time, she relates many first-person stories from her own life and those of her friends in a just-between-us-girls tone that's based in part on gender stereotypes (e.g., "our gift of female intuition"; "our sensitive natures"). Her chatty pep talks cover such topics as comparing oneself to media images, overextending oneself, preventing and coping with stress and learning to say "no." Carlson advises women to appreciate their children's "fleeting" childhoods, to speak and listen from a place of love, to swallow angry words and gossip, to take time for themselves, to nurture friendships with other women and to keep tabs on their financial position and marketability in case they lose their spouse through death or divorce. Unfortunately, she misses a few good opportunities to offer important information, as in her breezy entries on PMS and mammograms. Aimed at people whose problems are mostly "small stuff," this small tome offers little to offend and much to calm and comfort. (Apr.) Forecast: Though probably destined to join the other Don't Sweat the Small Stuff titles on the bestseller list, this one faces more competition than the first books in the series did, and may not match their numbers in the long-term. Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.

Product Details

San Val
Publication date:

Read an Excerpt



I saw a bumper sticker that said: "I am Woman. I am invincible. I am tired." Girlfriend, doesn't that say it all? Where do we women get the idea that we have to be perfect and do everything with the gusto and grace of Wonder Woman? There's no harm in giving everything you do the best you have to offer, but when your expectations are too high and your head hurts or your hair feels as though it could fall out, you need to consider wishing the Wonder Woman in you goodbye.

The key to this strategy is threefold. One, let go of the notion that you can do it all. When you can't accomplish everything on your list, that doesn't mean you're inadequate. Two, be willing to ask for help when you need it. Three, be willing to make changes when your system fails. If you can do these three things, you have begun to say goodbye to Wonder Woman!

I remember thinking that I would be the kind of woman who could easily balance motherhood, career, and outside interests, as well as have a perfect marriage. I did a pretty good job until our second daughter, our lovely Kenna, came along. Then my system failed and became out of balance. Kenna was one of the sweetest babies ever created. She was, however, an ear infection infant, and ran high fevers often. Dosed with antibiotics, she was sick a great deal of the time. Day care was out of the question; I wouldn't dream of having someone else care for my sick child. But Richard and I were running out of answers.

Finally, a solution came to me one stressed—out morning. As I finally quieted down, I realized that I was trying to maintain an image that was now totally out of control, andthat was bigger than I had energy for or that I ever imagined it would be. It was as if a lightbulb went on; it became obvious that it was time to wish Wonder Woman goodbye—and that's exactly what I did!

I began to think it was time for my first career change; I was going to go from graphic designer to home manager. Although it wasn't the best of times financially, we decided that our family would be better served if I took a leave of absence from my business. I knew that this was probaby going to close a chapter in my personal history, and it wasn't going to be easy, as change rarely is. However, I decided that I needed to prioritize my family's needs (and sanity) over my own need to hold on to the "Wonder Woman" who thought she could handle running a business during nap times. It was just too much!

After the initial adjustment, I figured out that taking care of our two daughters full—time was a lot of fun, even if it meant less money—and it was so much more gratifying without the frustration of having a work schedule to attend to.

Stress is a very real phenomenon, but consider how much of it you create for yourself. If your husband's income alone is not enough to adequately provide for your family, then your only choice may be to go to work. On the other hand, if your husband's income is ample, yet you choose to work, and you're constantly stressed—out and made miserable by your job—well, in my book, that's a different story.

It might sound as if I'm making the case that all mothers should stay home with their children instead of working. I'm not. All I'm saying is that all of us need to take a look at our lives as circumstances change, and reflect on our priorities. As big events occur—bringing babies home from the hospital, having ill parents, or tending a sick child, for instance—we can't just expect our lives to go on as usual. We need to evaluate whether or not our current lifestyle best serves us, and if not, to navigate our way in a new direction by making small shifts and adjustments. Being stressed—out to the max virtually all the time is not giving your family the best you have to offer, because there's no way the material things you provide will replace your sanity, and that of your family.

If, on the other hand, you can create some flexibililty in your work schedule when needed, and you have excellent help, and all the family members are thriving, good for you—you've found a balance that works.

Keep in mind that Wonder Woman thinks she can do everything and be all things to everyone, all at once! She never says, "No, but thanks for asking," when asked to volunteer her time. She can't set limits, and she continues to add more and more to her calendar without letting go of anything. She darts here and there, leaving a frenetic trail of busyness. She adds one more committee to her list, or one more pet. She never says no to a lunch date or social request—unless, of course, she's already booked. She always takes in houseguests. Does she have a family? Well, if not, you can bet she plans on squeezing one into her schedule! Whatever her reasons, she does too much and eventually she caves in from exhaustion!

If this sounds familiar, it's time to reevaluate your "Wonder Woman" image and self—imposed expectations. Whether you're a stay—at—home, full—time mom or corporate executive; single, married with children, or otherwise; you need to ask yourself some basic questions. Would you enjoy your children more and have more to offer them emotionally if you took an occasional break? Are you spending too much time away from them in the name of good works? Is your home—based business totally taking over your life? How much of you does the company you work for really own, and how much are you willing to give up to continue to climb the corporate ladder?

The point is, if you're stressed, working too hard, and completely out of steam, consider what things you have control over and make some changes. Most important, realize that you don't have to be perfect—and that Wonder Woman is merely a figment of someone else's imagination.

Read More

Meet the Author

Kristine Carlson is the co-author of the New York Times bestseller Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love. She has been a guest on numerous national radio and television shows including MSNBC, Fox, and The View with Barbara Walters. She has run several successful businesses and has a passion for meditation and yoga. She has been married to bestselling author Richard Carlson for 15 years and, together, they have studied and taught personal growth and human potential. She is a dedicated mother who enjoys horseback riding, running, and sharing time with her children. She and Richard live in Northern California with their two daughters.

Customer Reviews

Average Review:

Write a Review

and post it to your social network


Most Helpful Customer Reviews

See all customer reviews >