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Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Women: Simple Ways to Do What Matters Most and Find Time For You
     

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Women: Simple Ways to Do What Matters Most and Find Time For You

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by Kristine Carlson
 

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Examining the stresses and burdens that women are often confronted with—whether in the boardroom or the office bullpen, in relationships, or among friends--New York Times bestselling author Kris Carlson gives you proven strategies for balancing yourself within a chaotic world and finding ways do what you like best. Her insights

Overview

Examining the stresses and burdens that women are often confronted with—whether in the boardroom or the office bullpen, in relationships, or among friends--New York Times bestselling author Kris Carlson gives you proven strategies for balancing yourself within a chaotic world and finding ways do what you like best. Her insights include:

  • How to stop comparing yourself to the media measuring stick
  • How to keep your well-being intact
  • How to create memories for your children
  • How to avoid getting over-committee-d
  • How to fancy your femininity

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"Kristine
Carlson is the real deal, a shining light guiding us away from the pitfalls of stress and despair, fear and anxiety, and illuminating the path to acceptance,
happiness, and achieving your goals."—Karen Salmansohn, bestselling author of The Bounce Back Book
bn.com
In this refreshing addition to the Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff franchise, Kristine Carlson offers women a treasury of inspiration to overcome the petty things that can get in the way of living a full and joyful life.
Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
An easy-to-read collection of short essays meant to uplift and inspire soccer moms everywhere, this addition to the Don't Sweat the Small Stuff series offers nothing more nor less than its predecessors. Carlson (whose husband, Richard, wrote the original book) joined him in writing Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love. This time, she relates many first-person stories from her own life and those of her friends in a just-between-us-girls tone that's based in part on gender stereotypes (e.g., "our gift of female intuition"; "our sensitive natures"). Her chatty pep talks cover such topics as comparing oneself to media images, overextending oneself, preventing and coping with stress and learning to say "no." Carlson advises women to appreciate their children's "fleeting" childhoods, to speak and listen from a place of love, to swallow angry words and gossip, to take time for themselves, to nurture friendships with other women and to keep tabs on their financial position and marketability in case they lose their spouse through death or divorce. Unfortunately, she misses a few good opportunities to offer important information, as in her breezy entries on PMS and mammograms. Aimed at people whose problems are mostly "small stuff," this small tome offers little to offend and much to calm and comfort. (Apr.) Forecast: Though probably destined to join the other Don't Sweat the Small Stuff titles on the bestseller list, this one faces more competition than the first books in the series did, and may not match their numbers in the long-term. Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780786886029
Publisher:
Hachette Books
Publication date:
04/17/2001
Pages:
264
Product dimensions:
5.50(w) x 6.50(h) x 0.70(d)
Age Range:
13 - 18 Years

Read an Excerpt


1

WISH WONDER WOMAN GOODBYE

I saw a bumper sticker that said: "I am Woman. I am invincible. I am tired." Girlfriend, doesn't that say it all? Where do we women get the idea that we have to be perfect and do everything with the gusto and grace of Wonder Woman? There's no harm in giving everything you do the best you have to offer, but when your expectations are too high and your head hurts or your hair feels as though it could fall out, you need to consider wishing the Wonder Woman in you goodbye.

The key to this strategy is threefold. One, let go of the notion that you can do it all. When you can't accomplish everything on your list, that doesn't mean you're inadequate. Two, be willing to ask for help when you need it. Three, be willing to make changes when your system fails. If you can do these three things, you have begun to say goodbye to Wonder Woman!

I remember thinking that I would be the kind of woman who could easily balance motherhood, career, and outside interests, as well as have a perfect marriage. I did a pretty good job until our second daughter, our lovely Kenna, came along. Then my system failed and became out of balance. Kenna was one of the sweetest babies ever created. She was, however, an ear infection infant, and ran high fevers often. Dosed with antibiotics, she was sick a great deal of the time. Day care was out of the question; I wouldn't dream of having someone else care for my sick child. But Richard and I were running out of answers.

Finally, a solution came to me one stressed—out morning. As I finally quieted down, I realized that I was trying to maintain an image that was now totally out of control, andthat was bigger than I had energy for or that I ever imagined it would be. It was as if a lightbulb went on; it became obvious that it was time to wish Wonder Woman goodbye—and that's exactly what I did!

I began to think it was time for my first career change; I was going to go from graphic designer to home manager. Although it wasn't the best of times financially, we decided that our family would be better served if I took a leave of absence from my business. I knew that this was probaby going to close a chapter in my personal history, and it wasn't going to be easy, as change rarely is. However, I decided that I needed to prioritize my family's needs (and sanity) over my own need to hold on to the "Wonder Woman" who thought she could handle running a business during nap times. It was just too much!

After the initial adjustment, I figured out that taking care of our two daughters full—time was a lot of fun, even if it meant less money—and it was so much more gratifying without the frustration of having a work schedule to attend to.

Stress is a very real phenomenon, but consider how much of it you create for yourself. If your husband's income alone is not enough to adequately provide for your family, then your only choice may be to go to work. On the other hand, if your husband's income is ample, yet you choose to work, and you're constantly stressed—out and made miserable by your job—well, in my book, that's a different story.

It might sound as if I'm making the case that all mothers should stay home with their children instead of working. I'm not. All I'm saying is that all of us need to take a look at our lives as circumstances change, and reflect on our priorities. As big events occur—bringing babies home from the hospital, having ill parents, or tending a sick child, for instance—we can't just expect our lives to go on as usual. We need to evaluate whether or not our current lifestyle best serves us, and if not, to navigate our way in a new direction by making small shifts and adjustments. Being stressed—out to the max virtually all the time is not giving your family the best you have to offer, because there's no way the material things you provide will replace your sanity, and that of your family.

If, on the other hand, you can create some flexibililty in your work schedule when needed, and you have excellent help, and all the family members are thriving, good for you—you've found a balance that works.

Keep in mind that Wonder Woman thinks she can do everything and be all things to everyone, all at once! She never says, "No, but thanks for asking," when asked to volunteer her time. She can't set limits, and she continues to add more and more to her calendar without letting go of anything. She darts here and there, leaving a frenetic trail of busyness. She adds one more committee to her list, or one more pet. She never says no to a lunch date or social request—unless, of course, she's already booked. She always takes in houseguests. Does she have a family? Well, if not, you can bet she plans on squeezing one into her schedule! Whatever her reasons, she does too much and eventually she caves in from exhaustion!

If this sounds familiar, it's time to reevaluate your "Wonder Woman" image and self—imposed expectations. Whether you're a stay—at—home, full—time mom or corporate executive; single, married with children, or otherwise; you need to ask yourself some basic questions. Would you enjoy your children more and have more to offer them emotionally if you took an occasional break? Are you spending too much time away from them in the name of good works? Is your home—based business totally taking over your life? How much of you does the company you work for really own, and how much are you willing to give up to continue to climb the corporate ladder?

The point is, if you're stressed, working too hard, and completely out of steam, consider what things you have control over and make some changes. Most important, realize that you don't have to be perfect—and that Wonder Woman is merely a figment of someone else's imagination.

Meet the Author

Kristine Carlson is the author of Heartbroken Open, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Moms, and Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love, and coauthor with her late husband, Richard Carlson, of An Hour to Live, An Hour to Love and Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love. She was married to Richard Carlson and lives in Northern California with her two daughters.

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Don't Sweat the Small Stuff for Women: Simple Ways to Do What Matters Most and Find Time For You 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 4 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Stress and life go hand in hand. This book helps one look at some of our most common areas of stress and see them in a different light. Stress is what you make of it, and how you handle and react to situations and people. This books explains some ideas on how to better handle and appreciate common events in a woman's life.
tootles More than 1 year ago
I bought this book many years ago and loved it. Now once again I am brushing up on it, and finding that the advice is still relevant years later as I am reminding myself. I am on this site to email to a friend this book to enlighten herself, and I have recommended this book to countless friends. It really is a book that is meant to help you look into your own life and see what is relevant and what is not, as a woman, a mother and an employee. If you take the time to read it I guarantee that you will take things into your own life that will help you simplify and get more meaning and fulfillment out of all that you do.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I felt like I was burnt out, just ready to give up and completely exhausted of what was going on in my life. I dropped by in a local Barnes&Noble and found this book. It opened up my mind and point out mistakes that stress and got me down in the past months. Stuff I shouldn't even worry about and things I should indulge. I have been practicing and trying to apply those in my life and now I feel much better. Happier than ever with a more positive outlook in life. So go ahead, read this book and stop sweating small stuff that you think are big but aren't.... i love it...
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
One of my friends recommends me this book. I like so much, it`s very clear, easy to read and it talks about a lot of things of life that we know them but we need sometimes to remember they are important. Definitely I recommend this book.