Eat What You Want and Die Like a Man: The World's Unhealthiest Cookbook

( 7 )

Overview

Eat healthy and live to be 100?

Screw that.

Why choke down bland, mushy, steamed veggies and brown rice when there's so much fat-laden, calorie-rich, heart-bursting cuisine out there to be savored? Because you want to live? So you can spend your golden years wandering aimlessly around a Florida shopping mall and eating dinner at 2 in the afternoon? So your rotten kids can plop you into some hellhole of a ...

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Eat What You Want and Die Like a Man: The World's Unhealthiest Cookbook

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Overview

Eat healthy and live to be 100?

Screw that.

Why choke down bland, mushy, steamed veggies and brown rice when there's so much fat-laden, calorie-rich, heart-bursting cuisine out there to be savored? Because you want to live? So you can spend your golden years wandering aimlessly around a Florida shopping mall and eating dinner at 2 in the afternoon? So your rotten kids can plop you into some hellhole of a nursing home the minute you forget what day it is?

Go ahead, triple your cholesterol and triglyceride counts, and clog those arteries. You'll never get out of this world alive, so enjoy life while you can. Here are the most unhealthy triple-bypass recipes sure to satisfy the most insatiable cholesterol craving. Instead of steamed tofu, try Lard-Oozing Caja-China-Roasted Hog or Pizzeria-style Baked Ziti with Sausage and Mozzarella! Follow up with a decadent dessert of Deep-Fried Twinkies or Ice Cream Lasagne. You'll die quicker but with a smile on your face.

Eat What You Want and Die Like a Man will put you back in touch with your Inner Hog.

Raves for Steve Graham's The Good, The Spam, And The Ugly

"Gleefully offensive." --Publishers Weekly

"Thanks for using a pseudonym." --Steve's father

Steve H. Graham is author of The Good, the Spam, and the Ugly and Keep Chewing Till It Stops Kicking: Finding Your Inner Caveman. In 1983, he was indicted for eating a live midget. Steve lives in Miami, where he enjoys fishing, piano, home-brewing, and cooking enormous portions of unhealthy food.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Nostalgic for a time when kitchen counters had a container marked "grease" right next to "flour" and "sugar," author and blogger Graham (Keep Chewing Till It Stops Kicking) offers up a rambling, tongue-in-cheek, plaque-in-artery collection of recipes and essays for those dedicated to the "Art of Lard." Graham delights in slaughtering sacred cows with his acerbic, at times wildly inappropriate humor, but also gets a terrific amount of glee from simple bacon grease, a key ingredient in ribs, chicken fried steak, hash browns and even popcorn. Predictably dense takes on macaroni and cheese, burgers and fries dominate, though more exotic fare like Turducken and Rotis with Goat Curry are also detailed. Graham's glib instructions can frustrate; for fatty (but incredibly flavorful) twice-baked fries, "you get your fat, and you put it in a big pot, and you put it in the oven at 250 for like a day. Then you throw out the lumps that remain," before you add potatoes for frying. Most of his dishes, however, fall within the capabilities of kitchen novices, and he peppers sound advice throughout on everything from the proper use of ham hocks to the care of cast iron skillets. Unfortunately, his wildly uneven tone and pointless digressions kill any sense of momentum, making this a comedic smorgasbord best consumed in moderation.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780806528687
  • Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corporation
  • Publication date: 7/1/2008
  • Edition description: Revised
  • Pages: 306
  • Product dimensions: 5.30 (w) x 8.20 (h) x 0.90 (d)

Meet the Author

Steve H. Graham is author of The Good, the Spam, and the Ugly and Keep Chewing Till It Stops Kicking: Finding Your Inner Caveman. In 1983, he was indicted for eating a live midget. Steve lives in Miami, where he enjoys fishing, piano, home-brewing, and cooking enormous portions of unhealthy food.
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Table of Contents


Acknowledgments     xi
Introduction     1
Ribs     7
How to Smoke Your Butt     22
BBQ Beans, Texas Toast, and the Inevitable Mel Brooks Reference     27
Breakfast as a Mind-Altering Drug     38
Chicken-Fried Rib Eye on A Huge Biscuit     48
Grease Burgers     54
Corn Bread and Navy Beans     60
Turducken: Flight of the Hindenbird     68
Aged Prime Steak Cooked on a Propane Griddle     79
Champagne Chicken with Fettuccine in Cream Sauce     90
Smoked Pork and Andouille Jambalaya     98
Pizzeria-Style Baked Ziti with Sausage and Mozzarella     103
Stuffed Hog with Apricot and Marsala Glaze     115
Unauthentic White Anglo-Saxon Protestant Chili     125
Super-Giant Fried Patacon Tacos     134
Deep-Fried Chinese-Style Honey-Garlic Chicken     143
Rotis with Goat Curry     148
Doro Wat-Ethiopian-Style Chicken Stew     154
Hash Brown Casserole with Cheddar and Sour Cream     162
Dreadfully Fattening Macaroni and Cheese     169
Twice-Fried Fries Cooked in Beef Fat     181
Perfect 10-Minute Street Pizza     191
Peach Cobbler     208
Ice Cream Lasagna     213
Yeast-Raised Fried Doughnuts in Coconut/Banana Sauce     221
Coconut Flan     233
540-Calorie Brownies     238
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Hot Fudge Dessert/Pms Remedy     245
Blueberry Butter Cheesecake     252
Cheese Baklava     264
Red Lager and Room-Temperature-Brewed Ale     269
Five Greasy Pieces     275
Conclusion     284
Index     285
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 7 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 7 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 9, 2014

    This guy

    Probably died 2000 years ago

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 8, 2008

    A reviewer

    This book is a collection of gloriously politically incorrect essays accompanied by mouth-watering, stick to your ribs, down-home Southern country food. If you are looking for low-fat, low-calorie, look elsewhere, this isn't it. This is real food for real men and women.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 29, 2004

    Very bad for you but dang this food is good

    Absolutely great recipes that are what real people ate before the food police started saying us from ourselves. The recipes work and are almost as good as the author claims (and some of those claims are pretty far out). The humor is edgy and twisted and Steve had me rolling on the floor with some of his stories (potatoes as the mousy librarians? It gets weirder..) Anyway, the food is outrageous. Buy the book. You can always diet next week.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 23, 2004

    Marvelous!

    Excellent book! The recipes are great, and his commentary on things, food and otherwise, are really funny. Well worth it on both counts.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 20, 2004

    Humor & Fattening Chow!

    Incredibly rich brownies, stuffed with a layer of coconut! Chicken-fried ribeye on a giant biscuit with bread gravy! This book will kill you! But the real product is the warped humor.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 20, 2004

    Genius. Funny. Delicious. Deadly.

    I was one of those privileged to proofread this book before it went to print and my wife has not yet forgiven me for the night of sleep I deprived her while I convulsed and cackled with laughter, unable to put this down. Remember the classic 'The Joy of Cooking'? Well, the diet police have sucked the life and joy out of food and 'joy' is not the first word that comes to mind anymore. We don't eat just for nutrition or else we'd reduce the process to eating bland squares of 'processed food'. No, as a species, we have the of a working tongue with which to savor really great food. Steve gives easy-to-read and easy-to-make recipes and infuses his recipes with an unapologetic male attitude. More than a cookbook, but more practical than just humor, you'll probably need to replace your grease-stained copy annually. Eat What You Want and Die Like A Man will be re-read, quoted and used regularly. Buy it, read it, and after you catch your breath and wake up from a delicious food coma, you will be buying copies for friends and family. Oh, the brownie recipe is supposed to say '1 cup all-purpose flour.'

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 16, 2004

    Going out with a bang

    <br>If you've had it with low-cal, are fed up with low-carb, and just can't face another low-fat meal, this is the cookbook for you.<br><br> Wrapped in wry commentary and gut-busting humor, the recipes are sure to send your cardiologist into syncope. Shameless, full-bodied, calories shimmy across the page, provocatively dressed in bacon grease and flour, teasing you with visions of forbidden pleasures.<br><br> It's hard to say which I enjoy more - the recipes or the humor. I recommend both whole-heartedly.

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