Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

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Is IQ destiny? Not nearly as much as we think. This fascinating and persuasive program argues that our view of human intelligence is far too narrow, ignoring a crucial range of abilities that matter immensely in terms of how we do in life.

Drawing on groundbreaking brain and behavioral research, Daniel Goleman shows the factors at work when people of high IQ flounder and those of modest IQ do well. These factors add up to a different way of being smart — one he terms "emotional ...

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Is IQ destiny? Not nearly as much as we think. This fascinating and persuasive program argues that our view of human intelligence is far too narrow, ignoring a crucial range of abilities that matter immensely in terms of how we do in life.

Drawing on groundbreaking brain and behavioral research, Daniel Goleman shows the factors at work when people of high IQ flounder and those of modest IQ do well. These factors add up to a different way of being smart — one he terms "emotional intelligence." This includes self-awareness and impulse control, persistence, zeal and self-motivation, empathy and social deftness.

These are the qualities that mark people who excel in life, whose relationships flourish, who are stars in the workplace. Lack of emotional intelligence can sabotage the intellect and ruin careers. Perhaps the greatest toll is on children, for whom risks include depression, eating disorders, unwanted pregnancies, aggressiveness and crime.

But the news is hopeful. Emotional intelligence is not fixed at birth, and the author shows how its vital qualities can be nurtured and strengthened in all of us. And because the emotional lessons a child learns actually sculpt the brain's circuitry, he provides guidance as to how parents and schools can best use this window of opportunity in childhood. The message of this eye-opening program is one we must take to heart: the true "bell curve" for a democracy must measure emotional intelligence

"...explains why empathy, self-awareness, and self- discipline is essential to success and positive human interaction."

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
This international #1 bestseller, which spent a year on PW's list, explains why EI can be more important than IQ. (July)
Library Journal
Scientific data emerging from studies using new brain imaging technologies have yielded fresh understanding of how emotions work and, argues the author, suggest ways to regulate the more negative emotions responsible for the horrendous acts of violence that are the stuff of daily headlines. The book calls for universal adoption of educational curricula that teach youngsters how to regulate their emotional responses and to resolve conflict peacefully. Along the way Goleman summarizes much of the best psychological work of the last few decades on such topics as the importance of learned optimism, the theory of multiple intelligences, the role of innate temperamental differences, and the importance of emotional intelligence in marriage, management, and medicine. Based on good empirical data (unlike many popular psychology books), this fine example is recommended for academic and larger public libraries.Mary Ann Hughes, Neill P.L., Pullman, Wash.
Goleman, psychologist and science writer for The New York Times, explains how the rational and emotional work together to shape intelligence, using intriguing new information from neuroscience and psychology of the brain. Annotation c. Book News, Inc., Portland, OR (booknews.com)
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781559276993
  • Publisher: Macmillan Audio
  • Publication date: 3/6/2002
  • Format: Cassette
  • Edition description: Unabridged
  • Product dimensions: 4.08 (w) x 6.06 (h) x 2.69 (d)

Meet the Author

DANIEL GOLEMAN, PH.D., covers the behavioral and brain sciences for The New York Times and his articles appear throughout the world in syndication. He has taught at Harvard (where he received his Ph.D.) and was formerly senior editor at Psychology Today. His previous books include Vital Lies, Simple Truths and, as co-author, The Creative Spirit

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Table of Contents

Part One: The Emotional Brain
Chapter 1: What Are Emotions For? ..... 3
Chapter 2: Anatomy of an Emotional Hijacking ..... 13
Part Two: The Nature of Emotional Intelligence
Chapter 3: When Smart is Dumb ..... 33
Chapter 4: Know Thyself ..... 46
Chapter 5: Passion's Slaves ..... 56
Chapter 6: The Master Aptitude ..... 78
Chapter 7: The Roots of Empathy ..... 96
Chapter 8: The Social Arts ..... 111
Part Three: Emotional Intelligence Applied
Chapter 9: Intimate Enemies ..... 129
Chapter 10: Managing with Heart ..... 148
Chapter 11: Mind and Medicine ..... 164
Part Four: Windows of Opportunity
Chapter 12: The Family Crucible ..... 189
Chapter 13: Trauma and Emotional Relearning ..... 200
Chapter 14: Temperament Is Not Destiny ..... 215
Part Five: Emotional Literacy
Chapter 15: The Cost of Emotional Illiteracy ..... 231
Chapter 16: Schooling the Emotions ..... 261
Appendix A: What is Emotion? ..... 289
Appendix B: Hallmarks of the Emotional Mind ..... 291
Appendix C: The Neural Circuitry of Fear ..... 297
Appendix D: W.T. Grant Consortium: Active Ingredients of Prevention Programs ..... 301
Appendix E: The Self Science Curriculum ..... 303
Appendix F: Social and Emotional Learning: Results ..... 305
Notes ..... 311
Acknowledgements ..... 341
Index ..... 343
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Reading Group Guide

1. Emotional Intelligence proposes that empathy and other emotional skills can be taught--and that schools should teach students how to handle and express their emotions appropriately. However, a Time magazine cover story about emotional intelligence argued that, "The danger is that any campaign to hone emotional skills in children will end up teaching that there is a 'right' emotional response for any given situation." Do you believe it's appropriate--or possible--for schools to teach emotional skills to students? If parents don't teach these skills, and schools shouldn't, who should?

2. The book portrays a society suffering from a breakdown of emotional intelligence. It cites the following statistics: Violent crimes by young people are up by a factor of four over the past 20 years. Suicides have tripled among young people in the same period, and forcible rape has doubled. Though he acknowledges that factors such as poverty play a role in the creation of violent criminals, Dr. Goleman says, "Every time we read about another senseless murder, it's a sign of emotional intelligence gone awry." What current or recent events in the news strike you as possible examples of emotional illiteracy? Do you believe there's hope for improving our collective social life by teaching emotional skills to individuals?

3. Are women more emotionally intelligent than men? Dr. Goleman doesn't believe so. He finds that each gender has its emotional strengths and weaknesses. Women are trained to be more empathetic--thus, they are often better than men are at picking up "the subtle, unspoken emotional dimension" of communication. On the other hand, women are treated for depression at twice therate men are. Men are often better at managing their moods--a key component of emotional intelligence. What other patterns of strength and weakness might be attributed to the sexes, respectively? Do you believe boys should be trained to be more aware of others' moods? Do you think girls could be given skills that would help them be more optimistic? Do you believe there are innate differences in the emotional capacities of the genders?

4. Contrary to popular wisdom, Emotional Intelligence argues that venting anger--by yelling, for instance--can cause more harm than good. The author believes catharsis has an undeserved popularity as a method of handling anger. He cites studies which show that the net effect of lashing out is to prolong rage rather than to end it. Do you think it's desirable--or possible--to avoid emotional displays of anger? In what other ways can extreme frustration be expressed? Have you ever regretted an unplanned outburst of rage? Ever seen a tantrum produce a desired result?

5. According to the author, emotions are impulses which compel us toward--or away from--various courses of action. "Formal logic alone can never work as the basis for deciding who to marry or trust or even what job to take; these are the realms where reason without feeling is blind." He believes that gut reactions and intuitions are more than mere momentary whims, that they are sophisticated calculations based on a quick-but-careful review of past experience. Are your important life decisions based more on rationality, or on an emotion-based "gut instinct?" Can you recall any occasion when an instantaneous decision reached by your emotional circuitry steered you right ... or wrong?

6. A previous bestselling book, The Bell Curve, asserts that one's intellectual capacities are fixed: The Bell Curve's authors claim there's no way to transcend the IQ you were born with. Emotional Intelligence defines intelligence more broadly, positing that there is an emotional brain which greatly influences the workings of the rational brain, that both contribute to one's level of intelligence, and that emotional skills can be improved on. Which view of intelligence do you find more valid, and why?

7. Tests of aspects of emotional intelligence, such as "The Marshmallow Test, " have proven to be strong predictors of future success. Some four-year-olds who took "The Marshmallow Test" were able to restrain their desire for a treat in favor of a greater reward later. This triumph over the urge for immediate gratification turned out to have a far-reaching impact later in life. As high-school seniors, those who had "passed" the test "were more academically competent: better able to put their ideas into words, to use and respond to reason, to concentrate, to make plans and follow through on them, and more eager to learn. Most astonishingly, they had dramatically higher scores on their SAT tests." Given such evidence that emotional skills affect one's capacity for success, do you believe children should be given standardized tests which measure not just IQ, but also emotional intelligence?

8. The book offers compelling evidence that parents' degree of emotional skill goes far toward determining their childrens' level of emotional intelligence. Can you recall ways in which your parents enhanced or deterred the development of any of the five components of emotional intelligence (self-awareness; emotional control; self-motivation; empathy; handling relationships) in you or your siblings?

9. Empathy is a key component of emotional intelligence; sensitivity to others' feelings is a prerequisite to developing strong relationships. Researchers believe that 90% of emotional communication is non-verbal. What are some examples of unspoken cues people use to express their feelings?

10. Dr. Goleman says modern medical care often lacks emotional intelligence. "Medicine's inattention to the impact of emotions on illness neglects a growing body of evidence which indicates that emotional states can play a significant role in vulnerability to disease and in the course of their recovery." He claims that "there are many ways medicine can incorporate new knowledge about the impact of emotions on health into its view of patient care." Have you, or has someone you know, experienced emotional insensitivity at the hands of medical professionals? How far should the health-care delivery system go in concerning itself with patients' emotion?

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 36 )
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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 26 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 5, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    Emotional Intelligence 2.0 is better

    When this book came out in 1995 it was earth shattering for a lot of people, myself included, and I've enjoyed it and learned from it immensely since then. It details why IQ is not the sole predictor of success, and it reviews powerful academic studies that show how emotional intelligence impacts important life outcomes. Fifteen years have passed though, and the book has become outdated. It also doesn't show you how to improve your EQ, which is something that researchers have discovered how to do during the last decade. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 was published in the second half of 2009 (I just got it) and I love what it does. 2.0 has a step-by-step program that I used to increase my emotional intelligence, as well as access to an online emotional intelligence test that showed me where I need to improve. Emotional intelligence has finally come full circle!

    7 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 28, 2011

    Brilliant and Beautifully Written

    This book is not new but is a must read for every human being. It may start out seeming like a biology lesson on the brain, but this lesson is critical to understand the physiology of emotions. This book describes the breakthrough in studies on human behavior and demonstrates the link between ineptitude and emotions. This book should be read by all parents because parents shape the emotional intelligence of their children. Emotions are our life. They are what we live with day and day out. This book explains why it is important to understand our emotions if we want to understand ourselves and why we do what we do in our lives.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 10, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    The Foundation for All Other Emotional Intelligence Books

    Having covered most of the literature on emotional intelligence (EI), this book continues to be the seminal manuscript for outlining the rationale for learning and practicing EI. It's even more relevant today in 2010 as we move to a broader global economy where social skills and cultural awareness increase in significance. You can't go wrong by beginning your study of emotional intelligence with this book. It will make any follow-up you do even easier to comprehend.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 6, 2005


    One of the things the author points out in this book is the importance that hopefullness and a positve outlook play in the success or failure of living. What he fails to do is provide a real sense of either by falling into the trap of overestimating the importance that genetics and early childhood experiences have on ones emotional makeup. Granted, he does point out that those of us who may have been born with less than optimal temperment further [messed] up by poor parenting and childhood trauma, can relearn or overcome these hindereances (although there doesn't really seem to be much written on how to) he goes on to offer study after study of how you either have it or don't by the age of 4! Overall, it had some very interesting tidbits in it, like how monkey's behave and show empathy for fellow creatures, and how good parenting skills can help children have better emotional skills (as if any intelligent person hasn't figured that out yet!) but there isn't much here on how to cultivate good emotional health and heal from emotional damage. Perhaps that wasn't really the focus of this book, but rather it was to point out the importance of emotional intelligence, leaving the opportunity to write another book, on how to cultivate it.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 12, 2004

    Emotional Evolution???

    This book could have been good if it wasn't so wrapped up in evolution. Although some views appear to be well thought out, the over all message is diluted with theories that are not proven. This tends to discredit the book as a whole. Understanding emotions is key to healthy living but, how does one calculate the capacity for emotions throughout the history of humankind? Why is their no mention of where emotions began, remember the amoeba? This happened right after the acid rain wash over the rock. Overall, I am disappointed in spending money for this book. It sounds like the author is stuck in the religion of the public school system which is unfortunate because some good ideas are wasted.

    1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 23, 2009


    When I first started reading this book, i could relate directly to what it said. This is a lot more than i could do for other books. i had the origional library copy, but i bought this one. The concept is amazing, suggesting that EQ not IQ is the big determiner of success. And if you think about it, Daniel Goleman is compleatly correct!
    I give this 5 stars

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 6, 2009

    Mind Blowing!

    An insightful read for anyone interested in the brain, relationships, or simply understanding yourself.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 14, 2008

    The foundation for a revolution that could save our world and the future of our children.

    AWESOME... especially liked the section on page 210 about emotional relearning and recovery from trauma. This should be taught in every school system at all grades and in preschool. It brings great hope for a better future and better world.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 3, 2007

    Content is interesting, but audio is odd

    I'm wondering if there is a production problem with the audio CD. It genuinely sounds as if it's being read by a computer, with an odd separation between the words. It makes it very difficult to focus on 'what' is being said.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 31, 2006

    Explains how the brain processes emotions

    I enjoyed this book because I learned how the brain processes feelings, and why I shut down when I am overwhelmed. I had always believed that high IQ people were the most successful, but this book made me realize the importance of emotional intelligence. I certainly recommend this book and another, Optimal Thinking: How To Be Your Best Self, which helped me to understand each disturbing feeling and how to best resolve them. Buy both books to optimize your emotional life.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 21, 2006

    Sports emotions

    It's like all my college and high school coaches said - 'Emotions are a part of the game'. This book is invaluable even though i had one boss who thought it was all rot if it wasn't hard science. He had never played team sports that well. Even so, the book tell us men that we need to recognize our emotions and those of others and not be so brutish and competitive in our daily lives as we build good solid teams at work.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 22, 2003

    Already of historical significance!

    This book was only written a few years ago but it is already a classic! It opened the eyes of our culture to another side of human consciousness anf functioning. Although we still have a long way to go in developing a full understanding of the emotional aspects of ourselves, this book provided us an wonderful opportunity to move in that direction. The book that has taken us one more step in that direction is 'The Ever-Transcending Spirit' by Toru Sato. Though Goleman's book helped me become more aware of this aspect of myself, reading Sato's book has increased my emotional intelligence level immensely! Both books are essential readings for the evolution of our consciousness.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 19, 2003

    A must read!

    If you haven't read this book by now, read it! This book tells us how most of us are not really grasping what is truly important in life. Daniel Goleman says that emotional intelligence is a lot more important than if you can do math, spell correctly, fix a lawnmower, or build a spaceship. The author explains that this type of intelligence is so underemphasized in our society even though it is so needed. We live in a world where people can build weapons of mass destruction but can not keep a marriage together. I loved this book. Another book I loved is Rhythm, Relationships, and Transcendence by Toru Sato. He takes a similar approach and applies it to interpersonal relationships. Let's all learn and move to the next step in our evolution! I loved these books!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 14, 2003

    First rate book for acknowledging the value of emotions

    I like Daniel Goleman's explanation of emotional intelligence. As so many of our decisions are emotionally based, it is imperative that we understand the value of emotions and how to intelligently deal with them. My favorite book on emotional intelligence is Optimal Thinking -- How to Be Your Best Self by Rosalene Glickman, Ph.D. She offers a roadmap to deal with disturbing emotions, and a roadmap for specific emotions. She shows you how to use emotions as optimization signals. If you read both books, you'll have it all.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 18, 2002

    Intelligence Comes in Different Forms, not just IQ (Cognitive Intelligence)

    Daniel Goleman refers to ¿a growing body of evidence showing that success in school depends to a surprising extent on emotional characteristics formed in the years BEFORE a child enters school.¿ Having been a preschool teacher for many years, I must agree. So much of what determines how a child is going to fit into the world depends on his strengths (not weaknesses) along with his degree of self-esteem (not necessarily his IQ or SAT scores). This book is a must for all parents, especially those who feel their child simply does not compare to the "kid next door"...you know, the one who seems to be good at everything. Although that may be true, Goleman says that by nuturing and teaching to the Emotional Intelligence and strengths of your child, the chance of success in future years will be increased. ALL children have the ability to accomplish goals. Maybe your child is extremely good in his interpersonal skills--well-liked by his peers and blessed with the gift of gab and a great sense of humor. These are perfect qualities for a successful salesman. The fact that a child does not test well in math or written English skills and has a very average IQ is not directly significant in how successful he will become as a salesman. Those kids that excel in the arts may enjoy huge success in a career as an actor, artist, film producer, or photographer, especially if his Emotional Intelligence is high. In addition to giving a child unconditional love, I feel it is our job as good parents to identify our children's strengths in the early years and give them plenty of chances to experience challenges, accomplishment, and joy in those areas. Along with this excellent theoretical book, I highly recommend for those of you who have young children, a very practical little book called "The Pocket Parent." This quick-read A-Z guide will give you many specific strategies for increasing the Emotional Intelligence of your 2- to 5-year-old through daily communication and activites. By following the advice of these two books, you will help your child learn how to better interact with others, solve problems, and develop empathy, while maintaining a good sense of self-worth just the way s/he is.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 7, 2002

    EloQuent and UnEQuivocably Useful

    I'm an EQ coach for individuals and corporations -- that's how much I love this book. It does a good run-through of neuroscience -- you may finally understand once and for all that you can "manage" emotions but you cannot "control" them, i.e., through an act of will. Emotions take primacy over intellect because they are more important to our survival. Which brings up the IQ/EQ debate, which doesn't interest me much. It's a "no brainer" that if you had two people of equal IQ, expertise, education, skills and experience, you would choose the one you'd rather work with, and that would be the one with the higher EQ. We need both IQ and EQ - all 3 of our brains need to be present, accounted for and functioning together. "Which one's more important-IQ or EQ" sells books but has little relevance to our daily lives -- heck, just like everything else, don't you want as much of a good thing as you can get??? I'll take as much of both as I can get! However, EQ is the only one I'll get a second shot at! So, back to why I love the book. It's nonintrusive and it gives solutions. What was a person to do when told "you have no social skills," or "you don't know how to get along," and have an authority conflict suggested? Who doesn't have an authority conflict? And what does it mean - I don't know how to get along? By breaking down emotional intelligence into bite-sized pieces - 14+/- competencies, the way is clear for assessing, teaching and learning. It's great to read about emotional intelligence, and take courses, but to change your EI you have to practice it. Harvard Business Review strongly supports coaching to learn it. It's a 'limbic' thing to learn new social/emotional ways, which takes massive amounts of repetition, practice, support from another person in a social/emotional relationship, and feedback. I'm not qualified to work on the authority figure thing; besides, I'm optimistic (an EQ competency). People can learn this stuff. I've helped 'em do it.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 21, 2002

    Emotional intelligence is 50% of our professional success

    I am fascinated with the book, 'excellent indeed'. It is easy to understand no matter if you are a professional or not. It gives a big key which allow us to understand ourserlves better, our behavior, our feelings, our reactions, etc... It personally helped me to understand many of my hidden questions. And it also propose a solution about how to become better humans inmersed in a society that is lost with many troubles but the emotions. Knowing how to handle our emotions, bring us a big view of how we can be mentally healthy, which will help us to interact with society, since our family relations to our work relations, etc..... I recommend this book, quite interesting indeed ! = )

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 14, 2002

    Cool, Cool, and More Cool

    Daniel Goleman is a humane man. He wrote a wise and beautiful book entitled, Emotional Intelligence. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I have been very upset in my life, I have lost control, I have been abused. I recommend Emotional Intelligence for its scholarship and readability. I even bought Working With Emotional Intelligence, the sequel. Mr. Goleman states the overwhelming problem for the prospect of 'emotional intelligence' winning out in the environments we inhabit: 'These are times when the fabric of society seems to unravel at ever-greater speed, when selfishness, violence, and a meanness of spirit seem to be rotting the goodness of our communal lives.' Later on, in chapter 10, he calls that the 'new competitive reality,' which is harming the harmony of the workplace. Bingo! Too many people feel that they cannot exercise their emotions skillfully or take rational, thoughtful control of situations because other persons' cruelty and callousness will not allow the emotionally safe way to prevail. There is clearly a lack of social support in all manner of communities for Mr. Goleman's skills to succeed to any great degree. Sincere people lose will and patience to keep judging empathetically and tolerantly. Emotioanl Intelligence is helpful for people who want to lead full lives. Overreacting and reckless behavior can ruin a lot of futures for people. Keep calm, understand the 'emotional hijacking' experience, find balance between reason and emotion, Mr. Goleman counsels us. Mr. Goleman explains clearly the bugaboos that assault our consciousness on a daily basis and he offers practical tips on how to maintain mastery over these distresses. For example, 'cognitive reframing' is a wonderful antidote to depression. The book also deals with practical applications of his concept of 'emotional intelligence' exploring its use in marriages, workplaces, medical settings, trauma and family relationships. Through all his treatment, we can gain greater insight into the complex interrelationships between our emotions and our rational sides. Consider this interesting point: 'Experience, particularly in childhood, sculpts the brain.' The school of hard knocks has a cumulative ill effect. Conversely, appropriate affection can nurture caring and productive adults. Aside from the appendices, Mr. Goleman finishes his book with a blueprint for hope. Keep the faith, folks. Emotional literacy can be taught and instilled in our students. We can improve our children's emotional selves with classes like 'Self Science' at the Nueva Learning Center in San Francisco. The United States definitely needs more Self Science curricula woven into the students' lives, students from all backgrounds and walks of life. Thus, the quality of American life would vastly improve. Truly I see immense hope in providing our nation's children with timely emotional instruction. Glad to say, Mr. Goleman ends his book with a statement that agrees with my assessment of the 'emotional intelligence' enterprise. Guns are in our teenagers' hands because there is not enough implementation of emotional competence programs in our nations's schools. Keep the faith!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 20, 2002

    Emotional Intelligence

    Emotional Intelligence is an important work. It covers the deeper issues of interpersonal relationships in our lives. You will find a discussion on why emotional intelligence in crucial to successful interactions with friends, family, and the public. It discusses the results of not employing emotional intelligence, and the benefits of using it. It is very thoroughly written, so I suggest setting enough time asside to complete reading it. It took me a while to finish.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 15, 2002

    Packed with Knowledge!

    In this seminal work, Daniel Goleman introduced millions of readers to the concept of emotional intelligence ¿ the amalgamation of psychological skills and traits that he claims accounts for 80% of success in life. Skills like self-awareness and self-motivation are instilled (or destroyed) in childhood, but Goleman claims that even adults can learn them and apply them to marriage, business and education. This book is at its best in making the general case for EI by providing a sound biological underpinning. Although later sections on real-world application cannot keep up in terms of insight, we from getAbstract strongly recommend this important book, which is relevant not only to business life, but to life itself.

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