Emotional Intelligence For Dummies

( 3 )


Take control of your emotions to achieve success in the workplace and happiness at home

Being aware of and able to control your emotions is one of the keys to success in life, both professionally and personally. This friendly guide will help you to understand your feelings and how you can manage them, instead of having them control you. Through practical, proven techniques and helpful exercises, you'll discover how you can increase your confidence, build stronger relationships ...

See more details below
BN.com price
(Save 34%)$21.99 List Price

Pick Up In Store

Reserve and pick up in 60 minutes at your local store

Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (16) from $7.96   
  • New (8) from $12.78   
  • Used (8) from $7.96   


Take control of your emotions to achieve success in the workplace and happiness at home

Being aware of and able to control your emotions is one of the keys to success in life, both professionally and personally. This friendly guide will help you to understand your feelings and how you can manage them, instead of having them control you. Through practical, proven techniques and helpful exercises, you'll discover how you can increase your confidence, build stronger relationships with your partner, family, and colleagues, and find authentic happiness.

Manage your emotions-identify your feelings, determine what beliefs cause negative emotions, and stop self-destructive behaviors

Discover the power of empathy-read other people's emotions through facial cues and body language and show them you understand their feelings

Thrive at work-find a job that's right for you, overcome hassles and fears, and develop your leadership skills

Build and sustain meaningful relationships-discover how to take your partner's emotional temperature and manage emotions to grow closer

Raise an emotionally intelligent child-keep your cool with your child, coax shy children out of their shells, and get your child to be less aggressive and defiant

The science behind emotional intelligence

Exercises to help you turn negative emotions positive

Ways to diffuse tense situations

How to improve your performance at work

Why emotionally intelligent workplaces are more productive

The four keys to a lasting relationship

What battles are worth fighting-and when to keep quiet

How to help your child become emotionally aware

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780470157329
  • Publisher: Wiley
  • Publication date: 8/18/2009
  • Series: For Dummies Series
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 360
  • Sales rank: 230,020
  • Product dimensions: 7.30 (w) x 9.10 (h) x 0.80 (d)

Table of Contents

Foreword xix

Introduction 1

About Emotional Intelligence For Dummies 2

Foolish Assumptions 3

Conventions Used in This Book 3

What You Don't Have to Read 3

How This Book Is Organized 4

Part I There's a New Kind of Intelligence in Town 4

Part II The Essentials of Emotional Intelligence 4

Part III Taking Emotional Intelligence to Work 5

Part IV Using Emotional Intelligence at Home 6

Part V The Part of Tens 6

Icons Used in This Book 7

Where to Go from Here 7

Part 1 There's a New Kind of Intelligence in Town 9

Chapter 1 Feeling Smart 11

Defining Emotional Intelligence 11

Getting a Handle on Your Emotions 13

Understanding the Emotions of Others 15

Influencing a person's emotions 17

Following the Golden Rule 18

Applying Emotional Intelligence at Work 19

The benefits of emotional intelligence at work 19

The advantages of an emotionally intelligent workplace 20

Pursuing Successful Family Interactions 22

Chapter 2 Assessing Your Emotional Intelligence 23

Measuring Emotional Intelligence 23

Feeling, Thinking, and Behaving Like an Emotionally Intelligent Person 26

Feeling like an emotionally intelligent person 26

Thinking like an emotionally intelligent person 27

Behaving like an emotionally intelligent person 29

Recognizing an Emotionally Unintelligent Person 30

Chapter 3 Finding Happiness 33

Defining Happiness 33

Understanding the benefits of being happy 35

Changing your emotions 36

Addressing problems with optimism 37

Knowing your strengths and weaknesses 38

Finding Authentic Happiness 39

Part II The Essentials of Emotional Intelligence 41

Chapter 4 Investigating the Science Behind Emotional Intelligence43

Understanding the Difference between Emotional Intelligence and IQ 44

Knowing How Your Emotions Affect You 45

Making the Case for Emotional Intelligence 47

Understanding how EQ tests work 49

Understanding how EQ tests work compared to personality tests 54

Differentiating Personality from Emotional Skills 55

Tracking personality across the life span 56

Changing your emotional intelligence 57

Chapter 5 Becoming More Aware of Your Emotions 61

Defining Feelings 62

Identifying Your Emotions 64

Digging Deeper into Your Emotions 66

Interpreting behaviors 67

Examining self-destructive behaviors 68

Understanding body language 71

Reading your emotions through other people 74

Changing Negative Emotions 75

Recognizing negative emotions 76

Using the ABCDE theory of emotions 77

Chapter 6 Managing Your Emotions 79

Okay, I Feel Sad, Mad, or Bad-Now What? 79

Using cognitive restructuring 80

Methods of distraction 83

Relaxation, meditation, and similar activities 84

How mindfulness works 88

Working Your Way Out of a Bad Situation 89

Short-term approaches 89

Long-term solutions 91

Changing Your Emotions for the Better 91

Recognizing the importance of practice 92

Developing a positive psychology 93

Chapter 7 Understanding Empathy 95

Knowing the Difference between Empathy and Sympathy 96

Beginning with you, not I 96

Knowing why the difference is important 96

Reading Other People's Emotions 99

Walking in the other person's moccasins 101

Starting with what they say 102

Understanding what their faces tell you 102

Decoding body language 104

Showing People You Understand Their Feelings 104

Checking in 105

Getting confirmation 105

Exploring Situations in Which Empathy Can Really Help You 106

Strengthening intimate relationships 107

Understanding friends and relatives 108

Dealing with tense situations that involve strangers 109

Chapter 8 Managing Other People's Emotions 111

Changing How You React to Others 112

Being aware of your gut reaction 112

Working through alternative responses 113

Managing Other People's Emotions 114

Identifying where other people are coming from 116

Establishing a realistic alternative behavior 117

Getting a person to want to change 118

Encountering Obnoxious People 119

Determining your best outcome with a difficult person 120

Developing techniques for dealing with difficult people 121

Dealing with Difficult Friends and Relatives 123

Start with the endgame 123

Getting to the relationship you want 125

Part III Taking Emotional Intelligence to Work 127

Chapter 9 Dealing with Difficult Workplace Situations 129

Having Feelings at Work? 130

Getting in touch with your feelings at work 130

Getting control of your emotions 131

Exploring Situations That Bring Out Your Worst at Work 133

Tackling hassles 134

Coping with fears 136

Exploring Situations That Bring Out Your Best at Work 137

Managing the Emotions of Others at Work 140

Chapter 10 Succeeding Through Emotional Intelligence 143

Finding the Right Job 144

Testing interests, personality, and intelligence 144

What EQ can add to the job equation 147

Assessing Your Work Life 150

Understanding that you are what you feel 150

Knowing whether your job feels right 151

Getting a feel for what you do best 152

Improving Your Performance When Working with People 154

Knowing whether you're a people person 154

Dealing effectively with people at work 156

Improving Your Performance When Working Alone 157

Knowing whether you prefer to work alone 157

Getting better at working alone 158

Influencing People at Work 159

Using empathy to make your sale 160

Understanding assertiveness 161

Becoming a Better Team Player 162

Understanding work teams 163

Fitting in on a team 163

Helping your teammates 164

Chapter 11 Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Leader 167

Getting Others to Do Things at Work 168

Deciding whether you want to be a manager 168

Getting someone to listen to you 169

Eliciting cooperative behavior from others 170

Leading Other People 172

Defining an effective workplace leader 174

Knowing your leadership skills 177

Knowing your leadership weaknesses 178

Knowing whether you're fit to be a workplace leader 179

Rising to the occasion of good leadership 180

Chapter 12 Creating an Emotionally Intelligent Workplace 183

Defining the Emotionally Intelligent Workplace 184

Looking at the typical workplace 185

Looking at an emotionally intelligent workplace 187

Determining Whether Your Workplace Is Emotionally Intelligent 189

Documenting your workplace strengths 190

Cataloging areas for improvement 191

Knowing whether your workplace is emotionally intelligent 192

Managing the Work-Life Balancing Act 193

Knowing your values 194

Looking at your work time 195

Looking at your life time 197

How you can balance work and life 198

Creating Emotionally Intelligent Teams 198

Defining a work team 199

Understanding what makes teams work 200

Increasing the emotional intelligence of your teams 201

Making Your Workplace More Emotionally Intelligent 202

Starting with you 202

Influencing your co-workers 203

Managing your manager 204

Taking it to the top 205

Chapter 13 Getting Through College with Emotional Intelligence 207

Why So Many Students Don't Make It Through the First Year of College 208

Looking at school grades and SATs 208

We're not in Kansas anymore: Welcome to college 209

Problems that first-year students encounter 210

Preparing to deal with emotional and social issues 211

Warning Signs of College Derailment 212

Adjusting to the first year of college 213

How to know when your first year isn't going well 214

Suggestions to Get Back On Track 214

Identifying possible problems 215

Taking stock of your resources 216

Getting into action mode 217

Knowing Your Long-Term Objectives 218

Cataloging strengths 219

Identifying your strengths and weaknesses 220

Setting long-term goals 221

Achieving long-term goals 222

Part IV Using Emotional Intelligence at Home 223

Chapter 14 Creating Emotionally Intelligent Relationships 225

Assessing Your Intimate Relationship 226

Understanding why emotional intelligence matters in a relationship 226

Rating your relationship 227

Understanding How Your Emotions Affect the Relationship 230

Emotions: The glue of relationships 231

How emotions help you grow together 232

Why emotions sometimes grow apart 233

Understanding and Managing Your Partner's Emotions 234

Taking your partner's emotional temperature 235

Knowing where to start managing your partner's emotions 235

Pushing the limit of managing your partner's emotions 237

Using Your Emotional Skills in Your Relationship 238

Taking your own emotional temperature 238

Knowing what battles are worth fighting 239

Knowing when to hold your tongue 240

Using empathy to enhance your relationship 241

Building Emotionally Healthy Social Relationships 242

Using your emotional skills in social relationships 242

Finding the right balance of emotional and social skills 243

Chapter 15 Parenting with Emotional Intelligence 245

How Intelligent People Become Emotionally Unintelligent Parents 245

What they didn't teach you about kids 247

Managing your own emotions 247

Understanding Where Your Partner Is Coming From 249

Working as a team 250

Managing each other's emotions 251

Keeping Your Cool with Your Child 252

Using Your Emotional Skills to Manage Your Child 254

Managing your impulse control 254

Using empathy as a guide 255

Problem-solving your way through crises 256

Getting a Grip When Dealing with Your Teenager 257

What you should know about flexibility 257

Where stress management comes in handy 258

Managing the Rollercoaster Teenage Years 259

Keeping self-regard on an even keel 260

Gauging your teenager's interpersonal skills 261

Showing your teenager social responsibility 261

Chapter 16 Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child 263

Understanding Your Child 264

Modeling empathy early 264

Reading your child's moods 265

Helping Your Child Become More Aware of His Emotions 266

Using exercises in self-awareness 267

Connecting emotions and consequences 268

Managing Your Child's Withdrawn Behaviors 270

Why some children are shy 270

Bringing your child out of her shell 271

Managing Your Child's Overactive or Aggressive Behaviors 272

The ADHD epidemic 272

Knowing whether your child has ADHD 273

Why so many children behave aggressively 274

How to tell whether your child is too aggressive 276

The importance of callous and unemotional characteristics 277

Getting your child to be less oppositional and defiant 278

Making Your Teenager More Aware of Emotional Intelligence 279

Talking to your teen about emotions 280

Getting your teenager to read books such as this one 281

Helping Your Teenager Become More Emotionally Intelligent 282

Putting theory into practice 283

Letting them discover their own emotional intelligence 283

Part V The Part of Tens 285

Chapter 17 Ten Ways to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence 287

Become More Self-Aware 287

Express Your Thoughts, Feelings, and Beliefs 288

Discover Your Inner Passions 289

Know Your Strengths and Weaknesses 289

Walk in the Other Person's Moccasins 290

Manage Another Person's Emotions 291

Be Socially Responsible 292

Manage Your Own Impulses 293

Be More Flexible 294

Be Happy 295

Chapter 18 Ten Ways to Help Difficult People with Their Emotional Intelligence 297

Taking the Indirect Approach 298

Having a Talk 299

Knowing Whether You've Been Heard 299

Gauging the Intention to Change 300

Giving Feedback 300

Providing Strategies 301

Checking Progress 301

Exploring the Effect of Poor Behavior 302

Explaining in Different Ways 303

Selling on Benefits 303

Chapter 19 Ten Ways to Make the World a More Emotionally Intelligent Place 305

Caring for Others 305

Focusing on Other People 306

Working on Yourself 307

Helping Your Family 307

Giving Back to Your Community 308

Improving Your Workplace 308

Bringing Back Civility 309

Reducing Hate 309

Taking Up a Cause for Your Country 310

Changing Your World 310

Appendix: Resources for Emotional and Social Intelligence 313

Books 313

Web Sites and Other Resources 314

Index 317

Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 3 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star


4 Star


3 Star


2 Star


1 Star


Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation


  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews
  • Posted July 28, 2011

    A good overview

    This is a good overview of EQ for those who would like to learn the basics. It is missing some action of putting EQ into place but it is a good overview of the areas people can work on. I would say buy it if you are new to the area and want to learn more quickly.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 17, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted August 9, 2013

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)