The Emotionally Absent Mother: A Guide to Self-Healing and Getting the Love You Missed

The Emotionally Absent Mother: A Guide to Self-Healing and Getting the Love You Missed

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by Jasmin Lee Cori MS, LPC
     
 

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Was your mother too busy, too tired, or too checked-out to provide you with the nurturing you needed as a child? Men and women who were “undermothered” as children often struggle with intimate relationships, in part because of their unmet need for maternal care. The Emotionally Absent Mother will help you understand what was missing from your

Overview

Was your mother too busy, too tired, or too checked-out to provide you with the nurturing you needed as a child? Men and women who were “undermothered” as children often struggle with intimate relationships, in part because of their unmet need for maternal care. The Emotionally Absent Mother will help you understand what was missing from your childhood, how this relates to your mother’s own history, and how you can fill the “mother gap” by:

  • Examining the past with compassion for yourself and your mother
  • Finding the child inside of you and learning to mother yourself
  • Opening to the archetype of the Good Mother
  • Allowing friends and loved ones to provide support, guidance, and other elements of good mothering that you missed

Through reflections, exercises, and clear explanations, psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori helps adult sons and daughters heal the wounds left by mothers who failed to provide the essential ingredients that every child needs. She traces perceived personal “defects” back to mothering deficits, relieving self-blame. And, by teaching today’s undermothered adults to cultivate the mothering they missed, she helps them secure a happier future—for themselves and their children.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

“This book is a revelation to those of us whose mothering was short of what we needed. The author sensitively and authoritatively weaves developmental principles into a compassionate understanding of what it means to be under-mothered.”
Connie Dawson, PhD, coauthor of Growing Up Again: Parenting Ourselves, Parenting Our Children

"With compassion and sparkling clarity, Jasmin Lee Cori describes the effects of being under-mothered and what it takes to overcome them. Her book will be of great value to new mothers serious about creating a loving environment for their children, adult sons and daughters who want at long last to fill the holes in their hearts, and clinicians interested in understanding and healing the mother wound."
Evelyn Bassoff, PhD, psychotherapist and author of Mothering Ourselves: Help and Healing for Adult Daughters

“Jasmin Lee Cori has done a superb job of describing the importance of childhood attachment needs and the psychological wounds that get inflicted when an emotionally absent mother cannot meet those needs well enough. She has skillfully laid out clear steps wounded adults can take to identify their inner strengths and heal attachment wounds. I wholeheartedly recommend this book for anyone who wishes to understand and heal the wounds that can arise when parented by an emotionally absent mother.”
Shirley Jean Schmidt, MA, LPC, author of The Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy: An Ego State Therapy for Healing Adults with Childhood Trauma and Attachment Wounds

“This book effortlessly intertwines neuroscience with clinical acumen in a lovely work of extraordinary depth. In her compelling, heart-rending analysis of the importance of motherhood, Jasmin Lee Cori has created a work as significant as Alice Miller’s Prisoners of Childhood. Easily accessible and very useful, it is a must-read for parents-to-be, those in the helping professions, and adults who have been wounded by a negligent parent.”
Kate Crowley, OTD, OTR/L, University of Southern California

“With a compassionate and steady voice, Jasmin Lee Cori guides the reader through the difficult terrain faced by adults who have grown up without sufficient emotional mothering. Relying on personal experience and practice as a psychotherapist, she provides insight and tools to help readers overcome the challenges of a painful childhood and to move into the pleasures of living adult life fully.”
Kathryn Black, MA, psychotherapist, author of Mothering Without a Map: The Search for the Good Mother Within

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781615191239
Publisher:
The Experiment
Publication date:
09/14/2010
Sold by:
Barnes & Noble
Format:
NOOK Book
Pages:
240
Sales rank:
225,398
File size:
2 MB

Related Subjects

Meet the Author

Jasmin Lee Cori, MS, LPC, is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in working with adults who experienced childhood abuse and neglect. She has worked in human service agencies and private practice, and taught psychology in colleges and professional schools. She is the author of numerous articles and four previous books, including Healing From Trauma.

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Emotionally Absent Mother 4.7 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 6 reviews.
al82 More than 1 year ago
Having read and treasure/d Cori's book Healing From Trauma, I expected this book to be helpful, succinct, easy to follow, and informative--and it possesses all of these qualities. Regardless of the particulars of your formative experiences or relationsips with your parents, Cori presents knowledge AND wisdom applicable to all who hope to grow from wounded or incomplete to whole. Among other helpful practices, she includes guidance on how and with whom to make up NOW for what you missed THEN and, by remedying deficits, how to be the person that each child is meant to become. I'd recommed it to anyone at any stage of re-parenting or who might be wondering what parts of him/herself need nurturing and/or developing.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
A must read for all men who suffer as adults from a childhood with an unloving mother. I was pleased to see this book does not cast stones or place excessive blame on the emotionally absent mothers. It instead helped me understand my mother. To accept her as an imperfect human, to love her without trying to change her and to get on with my healing.
Lori_Bennett_LCSW More than 1 year ago
I am impressed beyond words with the Emotionally Absent Mother. Jasmin Cori has integrated and assimilated so many difficult concepts and written about them in such precise and profound ways! I have been a psychotherapist for more than twenty years, weaving my way through theories and interventions for those adult clients who were under-mothered as children, and here is everything I needed all along, in one book. I am hopeful that this book will be clear validation for thousands of us who have been waiting years for its release.
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