The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing

The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing

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by Beverly Engel
     
 

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Emotional abuse is the least understood form of abuse. The number of people who are emotional abusers or who become involved with partners who abuse them emotionally is phenomenal. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world’s leading experts on emotional abuse, shows us how to stop the cycle of abuse.

Engel’s work in the field has

Overview

Emotional abuse is the least understood form of abuse. The number of people who are emotional abusers or who become involved with partners who abuse them emotionally is phenomenal. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world’s leading experts on emotional abuse, shows us how to stop the cycle of abuse.

Engel’s work in the field has helped her gain a great deal of insight and empathy for both the victim and the abuser. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship shows emotionally abused people how to help themselves, as well as showing emotionally abusive people how to stop abusing. Engel covers all aspects of emotional abuse, including the patterns that begin in childhood, teaching us how to identify and understand emotional abuse. This prescriptive book combines dramatic personal stories with action steps to heal. Focusing on the dynamics of an emotionally abusive relationship, Engel provides strategies that will allow partners to work together to resolve their issues and stop the abuse. Her step-by-step program provides the skills needed to:

  • Spot the warning signs that a partner is a potential abuser
  • Establish firmer boundaries and develop a stronger sense of self
  • Cope with the anger, stress, and insecurities that propel abuse
  • Confront the abuser when he or she becomes abusive
  • Stop blaming and start taking responsibility
  • Determine whether or not the relationship is worth saving
  • Prevent emotional abuse in the future

Engel also includes pertinent information on borderline personality disorder and its effects, as well as a section offering partners of individuals with BPD strategies for dealing with the types of emotional abuse they are likely to experience.

If you’re being abused, if you’re the abusive partner, or if you’re part of a couple who is abusing one another, this book can help you. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship offers the expert guidance and support you need to stop the abuse now–and start getting the help your relationship needs.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
According to therapist Engel (The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How To Stop Being Abused and How To Stop Abusing), "even the most loving person" is capable of emotional abuse-that is, "any non-physical behavior designed to control, intimidate, subjugate, demean, punish, or isolate." In a reasoned, sensible tone, she encourages readers to become responsible for their behavior and for changing it. Identified are ten "patterns of abuse" (verbal assault, character assassination, etc.), different kinds of abusive relationships, action steps for cessation, and suggestions for recovery. Using dense writing and cogent examples, Engel clearly shows how this type of abuse, either intentional or unconscious leads to low self-esteem and misery for one or both partners. A difficult and draining yet important read for those who suspect that their relationship has entered abusive territory, this book is highly recommended. (Library Journal, September 15, 2002)
Library Journal
According to therapist Engel (Partners in Recovery), "even the most loving person" is capable of emotional abuse-that is, "any non-physical behavior designed to control, intimidate, subjugate, demean, punish, or isolate." In a reasoned, sensible tone, she encourages readers to become responsible for their behavior and for changing it. Identified are ten "patterns of abuse" (verbal assault, character assassination, etc), different kinds of abusive relationships, action steps for cessation, and suggestions for recovery. Using dense writing and cogent examples, Engel clearly shows how this type of abuse, either intentional or unconscious, leads to low self-esteem and misery for one or both partners. A difficult and draining yet important read for those who suspect that their relationship has entered abusive territory, this book is highly recommended. For books on remedying less severe marital stresses, try Howard Markman and others' hokey but well-intentioned Fighting for Your Marriage. Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780471212973
Publisher:
Wiley
Publication date:
09/06/2002
Pages:
272
Product dimensions:
6.34(w) x 9.54(h) x 0.96(d)

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What People are saying about this

From the Publisher
"A good, solid treatment of an insidious but all-too-common type of relationship in which the weapons are words and moods rather than fists, but which do just as much damage. Most importantly, Beverly Engel doesn't just describe—she shows us the way out." —Susan Forward, bestselling author of Emotional Blackmail, Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them, and Toxic Parents

Meet the Author

BEVERLY ENGEL is an internationally recognized therapist with an expertise in women’s issues, relationships, sexuality, and abuse. She is the author of several nonfiction books dealing with relationships, abuse, and women’s issues, including Loving Him Without Losing You and The Power of Apology, both from Wiley, and The Emotionally Abused Woman. Engel conducts professional training programs, lectures several times a year, and has appeared on many national television shows, including Oprah, Donahue, Ricki Lake, Sally Jessy Raphael, and others.

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Emotionally Abusive Relationship 4.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 19 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This author is very thorough in covering a topic that is sometimes difficult to understand. The surprise is when you find that sometimes some of the things you say and do are emotionally abusive to the people you love. Also if you are in a difficult relationship and are trying to understand what is happening to you, this book helps you to recognize the emotional abuse and what it is doing to you. She adds information on how to respond without escalating, how to get help for your self. I felt the author was very authentic in her assessments and honest about herself in this book. I found it very helpful and interesting. I learned a lot.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book has changed my life and others. A must read for ANYONE! Easy to read, fairly easy to apply to everyday life. Great workbook to help apply the reading material. Anyone who is suffering should read it. Anyone who wants to improve their life skills should read it too.
Learning_to_climb More than 1 year ago
Emotional abuse is prevalent in many of today's homes and relationships. Learning to identify, recognize and protect yourself from emotional abuse is essential if you find yourself in an emotionally abusive relationship. If you are drawn to this book, then the chances are you are experiencing some pain in your relationship. It is worth reading and considering. It isn't a fun subject. It isn't light hearted. It is a serious read about a serious subject.
Annie_M More than 1 year ago
This was an incredible book and very useful for anyone who is either an abuser or has been abused. Very easy to read, insightful, and full of great examples and advice. Excellent!
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The Emotionally Abusive Relationship cleary identifies the nature of chronic abuse, and offers ways to stop reacting offensively and to take responsibility, each one for their own behaviour. If one party cannot or does not wish to change, then the individual who does want to change has given it a good try - and has a decision to make. Lots of good strategies to politely and effectively confront someone who is hurting you and to refrain from making reactive statements that will not help. Excellent strategies.
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