Empty Arms, Open Hearts
“Empty Arms, Open Hearts” is about seven adoptive families who met at an adoption seminar. It includes interviews with each mom and many of their 15 adopted children. The seven families decided to form an adoption playgroup when the seminar ended. The mom’s wanted their children to grow up with the experience of having friends to whom they could relate in a unique way.
We met on a blustery night in January, 1992, the sort for which Chicago is justly infamous. We were 30 newly minted adoptive parents who were gathered in a church basement for an adoption seminar sponsored by PACES (Parent and Child Education Society). We arrived brushing the snow off our hats and coats. We were 30 complete strangers, sitting on cold metal folding chairs in a large circle, feeling slightly awkward, yet eager and anxious to meet other adoptive parents with similar experiences.
All the moms and dads who attended the six-week seminar knew that being an adoptive parent came with its own uncommon set of challenges. We were intent on acquiring the knowledge necessary for dealing with adoption issues that could arise in the future, even though our children were only toddlers at the time. It had been such a struggle to become parents and we wanted to be the very best parents we could possibly be. We were excited, yet concerned about the possibility of making mistakes in raising our children. We felt our children were gifts from God and we didn’t want to “mess it up”.
The next generation of siblings started the following year when some of the families were blessed with a second child. Our bonds grew stronger with each child who was born. We supported each other through the hard work, heartache and anticipation that came with each adoption placement, which made each person’s joy or sorrow a shared emotion for the group. There was no envy among the moms—just rejoicing for one another as well as empathy and compassion when difficulties arose.
When one family in our playgroup moved to a small town 70 miles away and then two others also moved, it looked as though our playgroup was reaching a turning point. Would we fall apart? Had the playgroup reached the end of its natural life? The near future presented many obstacles for our group but none of them caused us to disintegrate.
Another obstacle for the playgroup was when the children started kindergarten and it seemed as though it might be too difficult to have playgroup dates any longer. It was just logistically impossible, especially with the miles between us. It’s amazing how school and activities alter the family’s life; suddenly the timing of each day must be more structured.
That’s when we decided to change it to “Mom’s Night Out.” Sometimes the moms would go to a restaurant and occasionally one of us would host it at our home. Eventually we realized it was next to impossible to carry on a conversation with seven women in a noisy restaurant, but in the quiet of our homes it worked beautifully. We could get loud and silly and stay as late as we wished.
We first met 19 years ago. The first group of toddlers now drives, votes and goes to college. They are spreading their wings yet the moms remain a close-knit group who have provided emotional, spiritual, and intellectual support for one another. We still meet monthly, sans kids, at one another's homes. While sipping our wine and munching on appetizers we catch up on each other’s lives. We sometimes are so engrossed in our conversations that we lose track of time until we discover it’s already in the wee hours.
Infertility was a process that we all went through for many years. Be it insemination, in vitro, zift, gift, surgery, endless testing, endometriosis, miscarriage, stillborn babies or all of the above; we all suffered emotionally and physically. We had to grieve for the children we could never bear and come to terms with our infertility before moving on.
The decision to adopt is not an easy one and it is not right for every couple. But for the seven couples in our playgroup it was the right decision. All the couples felt as though they had a piece of their hearts that were missing. They could only be made whole by becoming a family, being parents and raising a child. There was no way we could rest until we had made this a reality. All of our stories are so different, yet there are so many similarities. And we all have one huge common denominator; we are all adoptive families and we couldn’t love our children more if we had given birth to them.
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We met on a blustery night in January, 1992, the sort for which Chicago is justly infamous. We were 30 newly minted adoptive parents who were gathered in a church basement for an adoption seminar sponsored by PACES (Parent and Child Education Society). We arrived brushing the snow off our hats and coats. We were 30 complete strangers, sitting on cold metal folding chairs in a large circle, feeling slightly awkward, yet eager and anxious to meet other adoptive parents with similar experiences.
All the moms and dads who attended the six-week seminar knew that being an adoptive parent came with its own uncommon set of challenges. We were intent on acquiring the knowledge necessary for dealing with adoption issues that could arise in the future, even though our children were only toddlers at the time. It had been such a struggle to become parents and we wanted to be the very best parents we could possibly be. We were excited, yet concerned about the possibility of making mistakes in raising our children. We felt our children were gifts from God and we didn’t want to “mess it up”.
The next generation of siblings started the following year when some of the families were blessed with a second child. Our bonds grew stronger with each child who was born. We supported each other through the hard work, heartache and anticipation that came with each adoption placement, which made each person’s joy or sorrow a shared emotion for the group. There was no envy among the moms—just rejoicing for one another as well as empathy and compassion when difficulties arose.
When one family in our playgroup moved to a small town 70 miles away and then two others also moved, it looked as though our playgroup was reaching a turning point. Would we fall apart? Had the playgroup reached the end of its natural life? The near future presented many obstacles for our group but none of them caused us to disintegrate.
Another obstacle for the playgroup was when the children started kindergarten and it seemed as though it might be too difficult to have playgroup dates any longer. It was just logistically impossible, especially with the miles between us. It’s amazing how school and activities alter the family’s life; suddenly the timing of each day must be more structured.
That’s when we decided to change it to “Mom’s Night Out.” Sometimes the moms would go to a restaurant and occasionally one of us would host it at our home. Eventually we realized it was next to impossible to carry on a conversation with seven women in a noisy restaurant, but in the quiet of our homes it worked beautifully. We could get loud and silly and stay as late as we wished.
We first met 19 years ago. The first group of toddlers now drives, votes and goes to college. They are spreading their wings yet the moms remain a close-knit group who have provided emotional, spiritual, and intellectual support for one another. We still meet monthly, sans kids, at one another's homes. While sipping our wine and munching on appetizers we catch up on each other’s lives. We sometimes are so engrossed in our conversations that we lose track of time until we discover it’s already in the wee hours.
Infertility was a process that we all went through for many years. Be it insemination, in vitro, zift, gift, surgery, endless testing, endometriosis, miscarriage, stillborn babies or all of the above; we all suffered emotionally and physically. We had to grieve for the children we could never bear and come to terms with our infertility before moving on.
The decision to adopt is not an easy one and it is not right for every couple. But for the seven couples in our playgroup it was the right decision. All the couples felt as though they had a piece of their hearts that were missing. They could only be made whole by becoming a family, being parents and raising a child. There was no way we could rest until we had made this a reality. All of our stories are so different, yet there are so many similarities. And we all have one huge common denominator; we are all adoptive families and we couldn’t love our children more if we had given birth to them.
Empty Arms, Open Hearts
“Empty Arms, Open Hearts” is about seven adoptive families who met at an adoption seminar. It includes interviews with each mom and many of their 15 adopted children. The seven families decided to form an adoption playgroup when the seminar ended. The mom’s wanted their children to grow up with the experience of having friends to whom they could relate in a unique way.
We met on a blustery night in January, 1992, the sort for which Chicago is justly infamous. We were 30 newly minted adoptive parents who were gathered in a church basement for an adoption seminar sponsored by PACES (Parent and Child Education Society). We arrived brushing the snow off our hats and coats. We were 30 complete strangers, sitting on cold metal folding chairs in a large circle, feeling slightly awkward, yet eager and anxious to meet other adoptive parents with similar experiences.
All the moms and dads who attended the six-week seminar knew that being an adoptive parent came with its own uncommon set of challenges. We were intent on acquiring the knowledge necessary for dealing with adoption issues that could arise in the future, even though our children were only toddlers at the time. It had been such a struggle to become parents and we wanted to be the very best parents we could possibly be. We were excited, yet concerned about the possibility of making mistakes in raising our children. We felt our children were gifts from God and we didn’t want to “mess it up”.
The next generation of siblings started the following year when some of the families were blessed with a second child. Our bonds grew stronger with each child who was born. We supported each other through the hard work, heartache and anticipation that came with each adoption placement, which made each person’s joy or sorrow a shared emotion for the group. There was no envy among the moms—just rejoicing for one another as well as empathy and compassion when difficulties arose.
When one family in our playgroup moved to a small town 70 miles away and then two others also moved, it looked as though our playgroup was reaching a turning point. Would we fall apart? Had the playgroup reached the end of its natural life? The near future presented many obstacles for our group but none of them caused us to disintegrate.
Another obstacle for the playgroup was when the children started kindergarten and it seemed as though it might be too difficult to have playgroup dates any longer. It was just logistically impossible, especially with the miles between us. It’s amazing how school and activities alter the family’s life; suddenly the timing of each day must be more structured.
That’s when we decided to change it to “Mom’s Night Out.” Sometimes the moms would go to a restaurant and occasionally one of us would host it at our home. Eventually we realized it was next to impossible to carry on a conversation with seven women in a noisy restaurant, but in the quiet of our homes it worked beautifully. We could get loud and silly and stay as late as we wished.
We first met 19 years ago. The first group of toddlers now drives, votes and goes to college. They are spreading their wings yet the moms remain a close-knit group who have provided emotional, spiritual, and intellectual support for one another. We still meet monthly, sans kids, at one another's homes. While sipping our wine and munching on appetizers we catch up on each other’s lives. We sometimes are so engrossed in our conversations that we lose track of time until we discover it’s already in the wee hours.
Infertility was a process that we all went through for many years. Be it insemination, in vitro, zift, gift, surgery, endless testing, endometriosis, miscarriage, stillborn babies or all of the above; we all suffered emotionally and physically. We had to grieve for the children we could never bear and come to terms with our infertility before moving on.
The decision to adopt is not an easy one and it is not right for every couple. But for the seven couples in our playgroup it was the right decision. All the couples felt as though they had a piece of their hearts that were missing. They could only be made whole by becoming a family, being parents and raising a child. There was no way we could rest until we had made this a reality. All of our stories are so different, yet there are so many similarities. And we all have one huge common denominator; we are all adoptive families and we couldn’t love our children more if we had given birth to them.
We met on a blustery night in January, 1992, the sort for which Chicago is justly infamous. We were 30 newly minted adoptive parents who were gathered in a church basement for an adoption seminar sponsored by PACES (Parent and Child Education Society). We arrived brushing the snow off our hats and coats. We were 30 complete strangers, sitting on cold metal folding chairs in a large circle, feeling slightly awkward, yet eager and anxious to meet other adoptive parents with similar experiences.
All the moms and dads who attended the six-week seminar knew that being an adoptive parent came with its own uncommon set of challenges. We were intent on acquiring the knowledge necessary for dealing with adoption issues that could arise in the future, even though our children were only toddlers at the time. It had been such a struggle to become parents and we wanted to be the very best parents we could possibly be. We were excited, yet concerned about the possibility of making mistakes in raising our children. We felt our children were gifts from God and we didn’t want to “mess it up”.
The next generation of siblings started the following year when some of the families were blessed with a second child. Our bonds grew stronger with each child who was born. We supported each other through the hard work, heartache and anticipation that came with each adoption placement, which made each person’s joy or sorrow a shared emotion for the group. There was no envy among the moms—just rejoicing for one another as well as empathy and compassion when difficulties arose.
When one family in our playgroup moved to a small town 70 miles away and then two others also moved, it looked as though our playgroup was reaching a turning point. Would we fall apart? Had the playgroup reached the end of its natural life? The near future presented many obstacles for our group but none of them caused us to disintegrate.
Another obstacle for the playgroup was when the children started kindergarten and it seemed as though it might be too difficult to have playgroup dates any longer. It was just logistically impossible, especially with the miles between us. It’s amazing how school and activities alter the family’s life; suddenly the timing of each day must be more structured.
That’s when we decided to change it to “Mom’s Night Out.” Sometimes the moms would go to a restaurant and occasionally one of us would host it at our home. Eventually we realized it was next to impossible to carry on a conversation with seven women in a noisy restaurant, but in the quiet of our homes it worked beautifully. We could get loud and silly and stay as late as we wished.
We first met 19 years ago. The first group of toddlers now drives, votes and goes to college. They are spreading their wings yet the moms remain a close-knit group who have provided emotional, spiritual, and intellectual support for one another. We still meet monthly, sans kids, at one another's homes. While sipping our wine and munching on appetizers we catch up on each other’s lives. We sometimes are so engrossed in our conversations that we lose track of time until we discover it’s already in the wee hours.
Infertility was a process that we all went through for many years. Be it insemination, in vitro, zift, gift, surgery, endless testing, endometriosis, miscarriage, stillborn babies or all of the above; we all suffered emotionally and physically. We had to grieve for the children we could never bear and come to terms with our infertility before moving on.
The decision to adopt is not an easy one and it is not right for every couple. But for the seven couples in our playgroup it was the right decision. All the couples felt as though they had a piece of their hearts that were missing. They could only be made whole by becoming a family, being parents and raising a child. There was no way we could rest until we had made this a reality. All of our stories are so different, yet there are so many similarities. And we all have one huge common denominator; we are all adoptive families and we couldn’t love our children more if we had given birth to them.
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Empty Arms, Open Hearts

Empty Arms, Open Hearts
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Product Details
BN ID: | 2940013750678 |
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Publisher: | ByrneSkowronski |
Publication date: | 01/09/2012 |
Sold by: | Barnes & Noble |
Format: | eBook |
File size: | 2 MB |
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