The End: Book the Thirteenth (A Series of Unfortunate Events)

( 634 )

Overview

Dear Listener,

You are presumably looking at the back of this audiobook, or the end of the end. The end of the end is the best place to begin the end, because if you listen to the end from the beginning of the beginning of the end to the end of the end of the end, you will arrive at the end of the end of your rope. This audiobook is the last in A Series of Unfortunate Events, and even if you braved the previous twelve volumes, you probably can't stand such unpleasantries as a ...

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A Series of Unfortunate Events #13: The End

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Overview

Dear Listener,

You are presumably looking at the back of this audiobook, or the end of the end. The end of the end is the best place to begin the end, because if you listen to the end from the beginning of the beginning of the end to the end of the end of the end, you will arrive at the end of the end of your rope. This audiobook is the last in A Series of Unfortunate Events, and even if you braved the previous twelve volumes, you probably can't stand such unpleasantries as a fearsome storm, a suspicious beverage, a herd of wild sheep, an enormous bird cage, and a truly haunting secret about the Baudelaire parents.

I also shouldn't mention the features of the interactive CD, which include:

  • Perplexing word games
  • Photos from The Lemony Snicket Archives
  • Art from The Brett Helquist gallery

It has been my solemn occupation to complete the history of the Baudelaire orphans, and at last I am finished. You likely have some other occupation, so if I were you I would drop this audiobook at once, so the end does not finish you.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
The only thing more depressing than this lamentable series is the realization that it is ending. Like the vague pain of an untreated toothache, Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events had come to be a familiar part of our daily existence. We had even grown to relish the discomforts of the Baudelaire orphans as they coped, often inadequately, with the devious machinations of Count Olaf. It is true that we should have been better prepared for the series' terminus: The author himself had suggested repeatedly that we seek more pleasurable avenues of reading. But no, we plodded on, soaking up the sorrow and pity of the series like large, sodden sponges. And now it is over. What other misery can life offer?
Henry Alford
The End may not reach the comic highs of, say, The Austere Academy (wherein the infant Sunny, unable to form sentences, was forced to work as an administrative assistant). But it’s more suspenseful than the other books, largely because we want to know if the vile Olaf will finally get his comeuppance, and whether there is any more information about the Baudelaires’ parents.
— The New York Times
Children's Literature - Amie Rose Rotruck
The much-anticipated finale to the adventures of the Baudelaire orphans is finally here. After a violent sea voyage with the villainous Count Olaf, the three children find their way to an island with somewhat unusual occupants. Refreshingly, the island inhabitants seem immune to Count Olaf's ordinarily effective and ridiculous scams and lies. However, this being a Snicket book, nothing is ever straightforward. The original humor is still here, as well as numerous jokes for the more well-read reader (such two of the island inhabitants being named Friday and Ishmael), but the situation is much darker and more philosophical. As far as a conclusion for the series, this leaves far too many questions unanswered, including the fates of many characters. While Snicket undoubtedly did this as a reflection on life and how nothing is ever tied up in a neat little bow, it is very frustrating for those who followed the series for thirteen books, expecting answers. Still, there are some gratifying events and the end, however unsatisfactory, does seem fitting for the series.
VOYA - Kelly Czarnecki
In the unlucky series conclusion of an unlucky number of books, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny escape the fire from Hotel Denouement which occurred in the previous book, only to sail in the middle of the ocean with none other than the stomach-churning Count Olaf. They land on an island where the inhabitants refuse to rename their home "Olaf-Land," much to the villain's consternation, and meet a polite yet to-the-point young girl named Friday. Count Olaf is soon banished to the coastal shelf for unkindness, and the orphans are clued in about customs of the island and later on about its secrets. Ishmael, the facilitator, often says to the inhabitants, "I will not force you," but peer pressure wins out and simple living prevails-meaning that anything that washes up onto the shores is carried to the arboretum by a flock of sheep, rather than being used by those living on the island. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny discover pieces to stories about their family of which they were unaware and find out that their identities are known by Ishmael. Count Olaf meets his peaceful end by inhaling the spores of the Medusoid Mycelium but not before kissing Kit Snicket. Readers will not be sufficiently happy because of the sad ending, yet they should expect as much if they have been with the orphans through all of their misfortunes. The unexpected also comes in the form of a baby clutching a boat named Beatrice. The End.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780060579524
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 10/13/2006
  • Series: A Series of Unfortunate Events , #13
  • Format: CD
  • Edition description: Unabridged, 5 CDs, 6 hrs.
  • Pages: 5
  • Sales rank: 935,451
  • Age range: 9 - 12 Years
  • Product dimensions: 5.10 (w) x 5.70 (h) x 0.70 (d)

Meet the Author

Lemony Snicket

Lemony Snicket is often despondent, mostly about his published research, which includes A Series of Unfortunate Events and The Composer Is Dead.

Tim Curry has created a rich array of memorable characters for both the screen and stage, most notably the role of the scientist in the Broadway and film versions of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. He's won Tony Award® nominations for his roles in My Favorite Year and The Pirates of Penzance.

Biography

As the saying goes, all good things must come to an end -- and, in the case of Lemony Snicket, all unfortunate things must come to an end, too. After seven years and thirteen episodes, the much beloved A Series of Unfortunate Events books are drawing to a close. At least, that's what Snicket's "handler" Daniel Handler says.

But before getting to what promises to be "the most unfortunate event of all," it is first necessary to familiarize oneself with the mysterious man who created a mega-selling series of children's novels pivoting on the premise of placing young people in peril. According to his autobiography Lemony Snicket: the Unauthorized Autobiography, Snicket "grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. To his horror and dismay, he has no wife or children, only enemies, associates, and the occasional loyal manservant. His trial has been delayed, so he is free to continue researching and recording the tragic tales of the Baudelaire orphans." Hmmm. Perhaps an autobiography purporting that it may or may not be true isn't the best place to begin.

Instead, let us focus on Daniel Handler, the man who might actually be responsible for composing the Series of Unfortunate Events books according to certain skeptics (which include Handler, himself). Daniel Handler has been asked many times why anyone would want to make a career of chronicling the ghastly trials of a trio of ill-fated orphans. "When I was young, my favorite stories were not the sort of children's books that are constantly being thrust at you when you're little," he explained in an audio essay on Barnes & Noble.com. "I didn't like books where people played on a sports team and won a bunch of games, or went to summer camp and had a wonderful time. I really liked a book where a witch might cut a child's head off or a pack of angry dogs might burst through a door and terrorize a family. So, I guess it should not be surprising that when I turned to children's literature I tried to think of all sorts of interesting things to happen to small children, and all of these things were pretty dreadful."

Handler has long made it clear that his wildly popular series would be limited to thirteen installments. The Penultimate Peril: Book the Twelfth finds the much-beleaguered Baudelaire orphans "enjoying" a family vacation at a menacing hotel, and Handler is wrapping up his saga with The End: Book the Thirteenth, which promises to tie up all remaining threads in the story in an undoubtedly exciting manner.

However, the conclusion of his series is no indication that Handler plans on bringing his writing career to an end. He has also written adult-targeted titles under his own name, including his latest, Adverbs: A Novel. This exploration of love, which Publishers Weekly deemed "lovely" and "lilting," may forgo the trademark Lemony Snicket wry morbidity, but Handler ensures readers that the book isn't without its own unfortunate events. "It's a fairly miserable story, as any story about love will be," he says. "People try to find love -- some of them find it, some of them don't, some of them have an unhappy time even if they do find it -- but it is considerably more cheerful than any of my so-called children's books."

Good To Know

Daniel Handler has a potentially embarrassing confession to make: he is an avowed accordion player. Handler says that when he told his parents about his decidedly uncool musical pursuits, they reacted "as if I had taken up heroin."

His interest in music does not end with the accordion. Close friend and leader of indie-rock band The Magnetic Fields Steven Merritt has written an original song for each audio book version of the Series of Unfortunate Events books. Merritt and Handler will be releasing a CD of all 13 "dreadful" songs when the final installment of the series is published in late 2006. Handler also lent his accordion-laying talents to The Magnetic Fields' critically acclaimed album 69 Love Songs.

Handler's persistence may rival that of the never-say-die Baudelaire orphans. His first novel, The Basic Eight, was rejected 37 times before it was finally published.

He enjoys the work of novelist Haruki Murakami so much that Handler devoted an entire essay to the subject in the plainly and guilelessly entitled Village Voice review, "I Love Murakami."

According to a former high school classmate writing in the local paper, Handler was "voted not only Class Clown, but also Best Actor, Chatterbox, and Teacher's Pet."

A few fun facts from our interview with Handler:

"I can cook anything."

"I know one very good card trick."

"I auditioned for an enormous role in the film Gigli."

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    1. Also Known As:
      In some parts, people get to know him through his handler, Daniel Handler.
    2. Hometown:
      Snicket is something of a nomad. Handler lives in San Francisco, California.
    1. Date of Birth:
      February 28, 1970
    2. Place of Birth:
      Handler was born in San Francisco in 1970, and says Snicket's family has roots in a land that's now underwater.
    1. Education:
      Handler is a 1992 graduate of Wesleyan University in Connecticut.
    2. Website:

Read an Excerpt

A Series of Unfortunate Events #13: The End


By Lemony Snicket

HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

Copyright © 2006 Lemony Snicket
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0060296445

Chapter One

If you have ever peeled an onion, then you know that the first thin, papery layer reveals another thin, papery layer, and that layer reveals another, and another, and before you know it you have hundreds of layers all over the kitchen table and thousands of tears in your eyes, sorry that you ever started peeling in the first place and wishing that you had left the onion alone to wither away on the shelf of the pantry while you went on with your life, even if that meant never again enjoying the complicated and overwhelming taste of this strange and bitter vegetable.

In this way, the story of the Baudelaire orphans is like an onion, and if you insist on reading each and every thin, papery layer in A Series of Unfortunate Events, your only reward will be 170 chapters of misery in your library and countless tears in your eyes. Even if you have read the first twelve volumes of the Baudelaires' story, it is not too late to stop peeling away the layers, and to put this book back on the shelf to wither away while you read something less complicated and overwhelming. The end of this unhappy chronicle is like its bad beginning, as each misfortune only reveals another, and another, and another, and only those with the stomach for thisstrange and bitter tale should venture any farther into the Baudelaire onion. I'm sorry to tell you this, but that is how the story goes.

The Baudelaire orphans would have been happy to see an onion, had one come bobbing along as they traveled across the vast and empty sea in a boat the size of a large bed but not nearly as comfortable. Had such a vegetable appeared, Violet, the eldest Baudelaire, would have tied up her hair in a ribbon to keep it out of her eyes, and in moments would have invented a device to retrieve the onion from the water. Klaus, the middle sibling and the only boy, would have remembered useful facts from one of the thousands of books he had read, and been able to identify which type of onion it was, and whether or not it was edible. And Sunny, who was just scarcely out of babyhood, would have sliced the onion into bite-sized pieces with her unusually sharp teeth, and put her newly developed cooking skills to good use in order to turn a simple onion into something quite tasty indeed. The elder Baudelaires could imagine their sister announcing "Soubise!" which was her way of saying "Dinner is served."

But the three children had not seen an onion. Indeed, they had not seen much of anything during their ocean voyage, which had begun when the Baudelaires had pushed the large, wooden boat off the roof of the Hotel Denouement in order to escape from the fire engulfing the hotel, as well as the authorities who wanted to arrest the children for arson and murder. The wind and tides had quickly pushed the boat away from the burning hotel, and by sunset the hotel and all the other buildings in the city were a distant, faraway blur. Now, the following morning, the only things the Baudelaires had seen were the quiet, still surface of the sea and the gray gloom of the sky. The weather reminded them of the day at Briny Beach when the Baudelaires had learned of the loss of their parents and their home in a terrible fire, and the children spent much of their time in silence, thinking about that dreadful day and all of the dreadful days that had followed. It almost would have been peaceful to sit in a drifting boat and think about their lives, had it not been for the Baudelaires' unpleasant companion.

Their companion's name was Count Olaf, and it had been the Baudelaire orphans' misfortune to be in this dreadful man's company since they had become orphans and he had become their guardian. Olaf had hatched scheme after scheme in an attempt to get his filthy hands on the enormous fortune the Baudelaire parents had left behind, and although each scheme had failed, it appeared as if some of the villain's wickedness had rubbed off on the children, and now Olaf and the Baudelaires were all in the same boat. Both the children and the count were responsible for a number of treacherous crimes, although at least the Baudelaire orphans had the decency to feel terrible about this, whereas all Count Olaf had been doing for the past few days was bragging about it.

"I've triumphed!" Count Olaf reiterated, a word which here means "announced for the umpteenth time." He stood proudly at the front of the boat, leaning against a carving of an octopus attacking a man in a diving suit that served as the boat's figurehead. "You orphans thought you could escape me, but at last you're in my clutches!"

"Yes, Olaf," Violet agreed wearily. The eldest Baudelaire did not bother to point out that as they were all alone in the middle of the ocean, it was just as accurate to say that Olaf was in the Baudelaires' clutches as it was to say they were in his. Sighing, she gazed up at the tall mast of the boat, where a tattered sail drooped limply in the still air. For some time, Violet had been trying to invent a way for the boat to move even when there wasn't any wind, but the only mechanical materials on board were a pair of enormous spatulas from the Hotel Denouement's rooftop sunbathing salon. The children had been using these spatulas as oars, but rowing a boat is very hard work, particularly if one's traveling companions are too busy bragging to help out, and Violet was trying to think of a way they might move the boat faster.

"I've burned down the Hotel Denouement," Olaf cried, gesturing dramatically, "and destroyed V.F.D. once and for all!"

Continues...


Excerpted from A Series of Unfortunate Events #13: The End by Lemony Snicket Copyright © 2006 by Lemony Snicket. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 634 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(444)

4 Star

(84)

3 Star

(50)

2 Star

(27)

1 Star

(29)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 634 Customer Reviews
  • Posted June 24, 2011

    Love the Series!!!!!!!

    I am 14 and i still love reading the books. The way Lemony Snickett portrayed what happened to the Bauldelaire children just draws you in. I am definateltly going to watch the movies!!!!!!

    23 out of 27 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted December 3, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    The Best Book Ever!

    This book is the BOMB!!! It is an amazing book! You should read it if you have time!

    17 out of 24 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 17, 2012

    Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lluv it!

    Best book ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope he makes a new series:) this book was amazing!!!! I hope you read it

    14 out of 17 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 8, 2012

    Ugh

    You people that think these books are terrible have nothing to do but complain. These books are awesome, and kept you guessing till the end. Best books ever.

    12 out of 14 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 15, 2012

    Anonymos

    I am not a big fan of books, but this series got me out of my seat and i never wanted to stop reading them. I recomend this book to all the people out there who are or are not book readers.

    11 out of 12 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 10, 2012

    Love it

    Im now 15 ive followed the seris since i was in middle svhool...these books kept me focused for some reason....thank you lemony snicket :) *claps hands*

    11 out of 11 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 14, 2012

    I cant stop crying:'-(

    It is by far the best book ever. I loved it. I just finished 30 min. ago but im still sobing. WHAT HAPPENS TO THE QUAGMIRE TRIPLETS OR FIONA?!Someone please tell me. It dose not tell in the book. Any ways ( still sobing ) i think everyone should read the sieries.

    GO LEMONY SNICKET ( still sobing )

    11 out of 11 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 27, 2011

    Good Book

    This is a wonderful book, I almost want to read it twice!

    8 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted October 10, 2011

    If you're a fan of the series - read it!

    The End by Lemony Snicket was a bad installment to a dead series. I enjoyed the first couple books until the seventh book when things went downhill and the same thing kept happening from there on out. The End didn't solve any of the problems. I kept reading it only to find answers of the many mysteries of the series. I was disappointed to be left with so many questions and not have them answered. The idea of the island utopia was interesting but I think the author could have made things different. For example the book that their mother wrote that was found in the secret room under the tree could have revealed what was in the sugar bowl, or what the question mark was on the Queequeg's radar that Captain Widdershins was afraid of. Those were some of y main questions I had and The End never answered them. And also, what happens to the Quagmires? Do they reunite with Quigley in the self-sustaining hot air mobile home? These are things I asked myself. The End was a slow book. It took me forever to finish the book, but when I did, I was very aggravated.

    7 out of 20 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted August 30, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    The "Last and Final" book

    I have been hooked on this series for a long time and have purchased most of the books written by the alleged "Lemony Snicket" because I was truly captivated by the writing and genuinely began to have an active interest in the Baudelaires. I know that in each book he says that the Baudelaire family will always experience tragic events and be unhappy, but I was really looking forward to this book to have an ultimately satisfying ending. Boy, was I wrong. No mysteries were clarified, unless you count the few extra new mysteries that were heaped onto the already confusing debacle. I really expected more out of the last book. You expect the end of a series to leave you satisfied. This book was definitely a disappointment--but I still love the books.

    7 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 19, 2012

    A little confusing, but good:)

    It was a little confusing at the end, but it was a good book to finish of the series:)

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 16, 2012

    I love this book!

    I like this series,more likely.sunny is my favorite caractar. Get this book seies(you shoul read the 1st book 1$t)!!!!!

    6 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 22, 2012

    Best series ever

    Must buy book series! I promiss you that you will not be able to put the book down once you start! BUY BUY BUY !!!!!

    6 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 15, 2012

    O.M.G.

    I finished the book...AND I LOVE IT!!!!!! I will tell wat happens...but if u dont wanna know, ten dont read anymore of my post......u could just skip to the very LAST paragraph....the second one is about what happens in the story...if u wanna know what happens...read this whole thing.










    So....this is what happens in the story. The Baudelaire
    Orphans(who are innocent little kids who are orpahns ...now that their parents died in a terrrrible fire that ruined their home and belongings.There was Violet who was 14. She liked to invent stuff that was useful.Then there was Klaus who was 13. He liked to read lots of books...he happens to remember mostlyy everything he reads. Then there is Sunny...shhe is a baby i guess...at the end of this series i think she is 1 or 2. She bites stuff with her sharp teeth.) start of in a boat with Count Olaf( a viillan that ruined their lives ) they soon arrive on an island with a ruler named Ishmeahl. He says he wont force anyone to do anything..but it seems that he does. Island ways arent gair for the islanders..or the Baudelairs. Because of that there is a schism. They all want to get rid of Ishmehl. Then..they see Kit ( a pregnate woman, friend of Baudelairs, a character from the last book, a kind woman, and a sister of Jaquez snicket.) Her baby is coming out! Soon it does...but Count Olaf spreads a posinouse fungus all over the island..islanders leave. Kit and Olaf die...but a sexond before Kit dies, she has her babies..before she died...the baudelairs promised they would take good care of her baby who was named afyer the mother of the Baudelairs.







    I loved this book! Get it!

    5 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 25, 2012

    Awesomest Book Ever!!!

    Best one yet!!! I knew Count Olaf would die! But where are the Quagmires?

    4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 29, 2012

    Love it

    I love this book. It's just that there are mysteries that are still unsolved!! Where are the Quagmires????

    4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 12, 2012

    Anonymus

    AWESOME! Best book ever but man what a hanger at the end. I want more

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 9, 2012

    Awnser book

    I'm preety sure he did come out with a book that awnsers all the questions. If only I could find it, then this book would be six stars!

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 24, 2012

    I want a spoiler

    Does Count Olaf finally get caught

    3 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 6, 2012

    Woo

    I love this series

    3 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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