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Enlightenment for Nitwits: The Complete Guide to 2012 & Beyond!

Enlightenment for Nitwits: The Complete Guide to 2012 & Beyond!

3.0 1
by Shepherd Hoodwin

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Many seekers have trod the difficult path to enlightenment, giving up everything and going through hell—not only is a trip to the Himalayas expensive, but you have to hike through yak poo to remote villages with no Wi-Fi.

Now you can reach the highest states of consciousness possible to humanity without missing a single text message. And even Walmart


Many seekers have trod the difficult path to enlightenment, giving up everything and going through hell—not only is a trip to the Himalayas expensive, but you have to hike through yak poo to remote villages with no Wi-Fi.

Now you can reach the highest states of consciousness possible to humanity without missing a single text message. And even Walmart couldn't beat the price if it hired all the sadhus in India to toil in sweatshops for ten cents an hour to bring you the secrets of the Universe. This book is everything you need to ascend into the stratosphere of spiritual mastery!

Editorial Reviews

Independent Reviewer - Norm Shealy, M.D.
�I love "Enlightenment for Nitwits"! It is the funniest book I have read in several decades. If laughter leads to enlightenment, it will certainly do it. Nothing�thank God�is sacred in this delightful spoof on life in general.�
� C. Norman Shealy, M.D., author of "Life Beyond 100"

Product Details

Publication date:
Product dimensions:
5.50(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.60(d)

Meet the Author

Hoodwin is a Laguna Beach, California channel, intuitive, workshop leader and teacher. He also does past-life therapy, counseling, and channeling coaching (teaches others to channel).

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Enlightenment for Nitwits: The Complete Guide to 2012 & Beyond! 4.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 21 reviews.
Brooke-The-Cover-Contessa More than 1 year ago
I was given this book as part of the blog tour to read and give an honest review. I am not much for self-help books, to be honest. But this one was very cute. It approaches things in a light and funny way. I enjoyed reading the many scenarios the author gave to illustrate the points made in the book. The author asks that you look at life from more than one point of view. Instead of focusing what's lying ahead of you, look at what is all around you (in back, to the side, up in the sky). This way you get a complete picture of yourself and how you are living your life. This is the only way you can truly understand yourself. There is much wit and satire in the book. Each chapter investigating different ideas and how you can approach your life in those ways. The writing style is very random, and unique. But I liked the way it flowed. And I liked the way the author was not afraid to express ideas and thoughts. The writing will make you laugh at the author and at yourself, as well. You need to have an open flexible mind to read this one. You can't go into this one taking life too seriously because I just don't think you will get it if you do. But if you are known for being light hearted and easy going, I think the humor and ideas will certainly pull you in. You will certainly laugh out loud and be able to related to many of the scenarios presented. It's full of lots of advice that will certainly help you to lead a happier more content life. 3 out of 5 stars from me.
beckvalleybooks More than 1 year ago
A very humorous and satirical look at the way different people believe in their way to find enlightenment and make their life a better one. The author splits the book into cleverly written chapters dealing with main concepts of life and how each stage or function of your growth can be changed by having a more light hearted approach to each situation that arises. You gain the idea as your reading, that in order to attain enlightenment you have to look at how seriously you take yourself, if you take yourself too seriously you wouldn't be able to relax around others and enjoy life more. The examples used in the chapter are not conventional and could cause offense to some quarters, but having a broad mind and fully understanding 'the teachings' and where the author is coming from, I really enjoyed the humour and the point or moral of the story. The openness and forwardness of the author in his beliefs and opinions make this book a refreshing one to read, in the current climate where political correctness is rife, it is good for someone to challenge these issues with well constructed reasoning. In being controversial in his writings you are challenged in your beliefs and as he then goes on to explain his logic about that particular view, you find yourself doubting your original belief. This book will not appeal to every reader due to some of the examples and views expressed, you have to have a very flexible mind and be open to views that you may not have considered before. I really enjoyed this book and I don't know by laughing out loud at the humour in the book, if that is the road to enlightenment or it just lifted my spirit, or maybe after all I am just a nitwit !
mglawler More than 1 year ago
Shepherd Hoodwin has managed to shove a 2 hour stand-up comedy routine into a book. I always keep a book in the bathroom. Since I am in there so much I like to have a wide variety of reading material available. and this book was perfect. It always left me laughing! Laughter is healing and I can use as much healing as I can get!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Oh My Goodness - this book is sooooo funny. I laughed until I cried. Ridiculous, absurd,. a wee bit irreverent, and 100% original! ( Disclaimer: I did receive a copy of this book free of charge, so that I could write this review. NO other compensation was received, except for an abundance of giggles and guffaws!)
MumbleBee More than 1 year ago
When I first heard about this book the title intrigued me I love a good laugh but, to be honest I don’t usually read this type of books. After just reading the front cover of the book which has an endorsment by God himself. I decided well if God likes it its has to be pretty good right? I hoped this book was going to deliver and boy did it ever. From the moment I cracked open the book I found myself sneaking in a few pages whenever I got a chance and LOLing which my kids found very amusing for mom just to start busting up laughing for what appeared to them to be no reason at all. I must warn that for the easily offended this book may do just that and what I say to that is lighten up and give it a shot with an open mind. Oh and a little side note my husband stole my book for himself! Oh and dont you worry about “bad words” they have been censored by Hoodwin himself.
lifeasleels More than 1 year ago
I will be the first to admit that when I saw the title of the book, I actually feared opening it. I wasn't really in the mood for anything with the word "enlightenment" in it. Of course, I should have known better when it said "for nitwits". I cautiously opened the book and began reading. I. Couldn't. Put. It. Down! I was literally laughing out loud - which is not a good thing when you are reading in bed at 11pm while hubby is trying to sleep because he gets up at 3am for work (oops!) But it was so funny and so great - I had to share! I truly enjoyed this book and it was unlike anything I have read... well, at least in a really long time! I would highly recommend this book to anyone with a laid back, good sense of humor!
icefairy More than 1 year ago
This book has definitely exceeded my expectations. I had tons of fun reading it from cover to cover. I couldn't help laughing and then running over to my husband to share my favorite parts (There are so many of them!). As a result, he "read" most of the book without actually reading it. I love the casual, conversational writing style and how elements of the modern society/technology have been discussed in a playful tone. The author's reaction to Facebook is hilarious! I have to admit that I'm more entertained than enlightened by reading the book. I'd recommend it to anyone open to an unconventional perspective and unique sense of humor. Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of the book in exchange for my honest opinion.
coziecorner More than 1 year ago
One needs an open mind when reading this book with it's dry humor but light hearted and uplifting. A really good book if you need to lighten up with a few laughs. "Enlightenment for Nitwits" is full of short/one liner jokes and some longer tales from the author's experiences. Recommended for everyone on any path in life. This review is based on a complimentary copy which was provided for an honest review.
FourLittleMonsters More than 1 year ago
The title itself, doesn’t begin to capture the humor throughout this book! I wasn’t quite sure what I would find when I began reading but quickly realized that this wasn’t like anything I have read before and a book that I didn’t want to put down any time soon. Shepherd Hoodwin chooses to touch on serious subjects with a heavy dose of humor and sarcasm with never ending lol topics/discussions like Potty Training Your Inner Child, Lipstick on a Pig and My Toilet Runneth Over. My absolute favorite is Chapter 9, Words To Live By. On my journey of enlightenment, I have laughed at myself and maybe a little bit at those around me, agreed with Shepherd Hoodwin’s sarcastic but true revelations and realized the irony of some chosen paths to enlightenment and so much more. Chpater 9 predicts that people will now want to hear just how wise I have become and Chapter 9 gives me all the answers I will need! The best way to read this book is to savor and enjoy every morsel of wit and humor by reading a part of it each day. You can meditate, pray or arrange your furniture just so on your quest of self-help and personal growth or you can have some fun in your journey and read Enlightenment for Nitwits the Complete Guide To 2012 & Beyond!
Dixieland_Mom More than 1 year ago
If you haven't read Enlightenment for Nitwits The COMPLETE GUIDE to 2012 & BEYOND! you really need to pick up a copy today! It has been years since I laughed this hard! This book is for those of us who either don't have the time to mess with the long term enlightenment courses and/or quests, or quite frankly, are just too lazy to mess with it at all. It's a handy guide to find total and complete enlightenment with absolutely no effort whatsoever. Some of the Chapter names will give you a hint as to what's to come, such as: Chapter 12: My Toilet Runneth Over and Chapter 23: Bed, Death & Beyond I laughed until I cried reading about the poor soul who called the Universe's Customer Service line wanting to know exactly why she hadn't found her soul mate yet. And again at the Universe's poll results for customer satisfaction. I'm glad I read this book at home, because, had I been in public, I'm pretty positive someone would have called the men in the little white twinkie truck with the cherry on top and the "I love me" jacket to take me away due to the fits of laughter I found myself in at times while reading this. Honestly, I just couldn't put this book down until I'd read every last word! I highly recommend this book and give it 5 stars hands down!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Flip to any page in the book and sit back and get ready to laugh your booty off!
ReadRateandReview More than 1 year ago
Enlightenment for Nitwits was a great book! Fun, easy, hilarious, uplifting, sarcastic and quick witted! Exactly what I feel that I am ;) I read the book on lunch, at my desk (when I could), in the car, grocery store, just about anywhere you could possibly think of! It actually reminded me a lot of Ellen Degenerous's book the way it was a lot of quick statements and one liners. I love the way it took me in one direction and then turned me around right away. I loved that while there were jokes in the book the joke was sometimes on me and I honestly laughed out loud multiple times throughout the same. I do warn you that this book is not one for the feint of heart. If you have very strict thoughts and ideas about things like religion, sexuality and politics this may not be the book for you but if you have an open mind or are ok with being the butt of someone's joke go ahead and pick this one up! I assure you that the hilarity of this book will definitely make reading about some uncomfortable topics much easier. I will leave you now with one of my favorite "words of wisdom" from the book "When your life goes down the drain, may the pipes be clogged." I don't know why I loved this so much but there it is, a great quote that made me laugh and giggle while people looked at me wondering what loony bin I escaped from :)
MadebyJess More than 1 year ago
This book contains 45 short chapters which contain all the above and more. What really lured me in and made me want to read this book was I thought it was going to be a fun type fact book. This wasn’t the self help book that I expected it to be, instead it is a book about ridicule and satire of human life. If you're put off by debatable topics that are the heat of controversy; sexual preferences, religion etc. this is NOT the book for you- OR maybe it IS you just don’t know it yet. This book cracks me up with “I’m not overweight, I’m under-height”. Could you imagine someone really being as tall as they think they should be to manage out their weight. I’m pretty sure we’d have to re-do houses and office buildings =) Especially here in the south where everything seems to be deep-fried with extra extra butter. Discussing any more of the topics will surely give it away, and you should definitely read it for yourself..
MicheleK More than 1 year ago
Reading through the intro and preface of Enlightenment for Nitwits: The Complete Guide to 2012 & Beyond! was a relief because it was full of dry humor! This told me the author was a simple person, and one who felt compelled enough to share important messages with others in a light and meaningful fashion. This was quite right indeed — and one comment the author Shepherd Hoodwin made became one of of my most favorite of the book. In the Introduction, he referred to the book as “…a combination of laughter yoga and colonic therapy, is Mr. Clean for the soul…” That phrase not only grabbed my attention because it was downright funny, but also made me curious if the book would be more enlightening than I had originally anticipated it to be. Not too surprisingly, that is what I found it to be! As I dove into Chapter 1, which discussed a very true and important factor: have a good attitude, I found that Shepherd Hoodwin really had a great message to deliver here–find Enlightenment in all aspects in your life and do not let anything hold you down. Personally, I finished the book with the determination to ‘look around and see my surrounding as a way to stay enlightened’ … in other words, yes, there are harmful and corrupt dealings in life but they are what you make them: Find inner peace.
nmetolenPA More than 1 year ago
With the end of the world rapidly approaching (if you believe those who make a living misinterpreting an ancient civilization), it seems everyone is looking for a quick way to find enlightenment. You can either go the longish route and spend hours a day meditating on the importance of nothingness, or you can fast-track your enlightenment and get a good laugh in the process. Enlightenment for Nitwits by Shepherd Hoodwin definitely supports the fast-track while laughing route. Lots of laughing. Enlightenment for Nitwits is a hilarious book full off short quips and a few longer tales from the author's own life and bizarre experiences. Hoodwin shares his path to enlightenment through tales such as "A Lesson on Impatience" and "My Toilet Runneth Over." The chapters are pretty much random thoughts brought together by some common element, and somehow it all works perfectly. I read Enlightenment for Nitwits in the dentist's office while waiting for my son, in line at the post office, and pretty much everywhere else that I needed a quick laugh. His tales are reminiscent of the late, great Mitch Hedberg : quirky, a little random sometimes, but utterly hilarious. I literally laughed out loud in quite a few parts, and I'm not typically an LOL type of girl. The message of enlightenment is definitely there, if you know how to look for it. Buried in each hilarious quip is a deeper message. Basically, my take on the whole enlightenment thing is that if you lighten up, it will come. Unfortunately, according to Hoodwin's writings, it seems that while getting enlightenment to come to you is possible, getting Brad Pitt to do the same isn't exactly as easy. I should note that this is a book for someone with a very open mind. If you're easily offended, you may not enjoy this book. Hoodwin does "bleep" out the bad words, often comically, but he does talk a bit about sexual relationships and doesn't hold back when it comes to religions. He doesn't say anything bad about anyone, per se, but he certainly doesn't censor his thoughts. Review originally published on Pretty Opinionated.
LCMSO More than 1 year ago
When I received the book, Enlightenment for Nitwits, I thought it'd be another book that was mediocre reading. I was pleasantly surprised when I couldn't even get through the introduction without breaking out into girly fits of giggles. It sounds like it was written with such sarcasm but yet such sincerity at the same time. I knew that this book would mesh perfectly with my personality since I typically approach life in the same manner - I'm sarcastic, sassy yet sincere and sweet at the same time. I expected to get bored after a few chapters as I do with a lot of "Guide" books - I couldn't put this book down! Some issues that were touched on actually surprised me and caused a few "OMG!'s" to come out of my mouth. Shepherd simply puts it out there and I blushed at a few of the comments made! To be honest, I expected this to be what I like to call a "Toilet Book" - you know, those books that collect dust on the back of your toilet that you leave there in case you have to spend extra time in there? My boys, ages 6 and 8, saw the book on the kitchen counter and since both love to read, they grabbed it and I quickly took it away. I'm a pretty upfront mom who doesn't sugarcoat a lot but there are some things in life that are better left unsaid until they have more life experience. My fiance is not a huge fan of reading so I shared my favorite parts with him - he got quite a few good laughs as well (and he's hard to entertain at times!). He was cooking dinner one night while I was reading and since I kept laughing every few sentences, he said he needed to know what was so funny. He's pretty cut-throat too and some of the remarks even made him think for a minute! I don't want to share too much of the book because it is very enlightening and believe you should experience it for yourself. If you're offended by controversial topics (i.e. religion, sexual preferences, etc.), this is NOT the book for you - then again, it may be exactly what you need to 'enlighten' up!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I was very curious about this book from the title. I have not laughed so hard in a long time! When I say that I laughed so hard, I really am serious. Just reading the introduction before the book even starts I had already started laughing and had to share parts with people that were around me. It was just hilarious! When I picked up the book I was really curious as to what it would really be about. Just by looking at the cover I could tell that it was going to be interesting. So just as soon as I could get it out of the package I decided I would flip through the book and see what it was about. Well I wanted to find out and started at the beginning. I was so caught up in this book that I couldn't want for the end of the page to see what came next! It kept me wanting to turn the page and see what hilarious thing would be on the next page! Just in the one sitting I read over half of the book! I didn't think I had been sitting there that long! This book is a wonderful compliation of stories, thoughts, and more from the Author. I highly recommend it to anyone who needs a good laugh and maybe even a look inside yourself. The book brings up some great points that make you think from time to time. They are presented in a way that just reads with the book. It has such a wonderful flow!
SelenaThinkingOutLoud More than 1 year ago
When I decided to review this book, I was immediately drawn in by the eccentric cover of the book. I knew that it would be full of humor and attempt to prove some type of point as to poke fun of our many ideals on life. From the very first page, I knew that this was not going to be a typical "how to" book or instruction manual on how I could live a more "enlightened" life. It was raw and really shocked my socks off with the language he used in his writing. Personally, it's really difficult for me to read some writer's works because they don't grab me in the beginning, which causes me to delay on finishing them, but that was totally not the case with this book. I was reading it every chance I could get and had moments when my jaws dropped in complete shock at how he shared his views on topics we all find very precious and sometimes personal. He touches on sexual preferences, aging, God, stories from people in his life and so much more to just share here! As I flipped through each page and continued to read, I knew that these were the words of a man who was really opinionated but, almost at times, referenced thoughts that I was having but would be a little hesitant to say out publicly, so to speak. The book is divided into 9 Parts with content that is seriously hilarious, funny, witty, and downright wrong, if you read it from a more conservative view. I found myself re-reading particular topics because they were so awing that I had to make sure that I read the information correctly. If I had children, this is one book that I would keep locked up until they finished college and then give as a graduation gift to "enlighten" their minds to all the craziness they have to look forward to as they begin their own lives outside of my care. Would I recommend this book to you? Absolutely! And, I am not getting any compensation to say this. It is one that you can read when you're just downright feeling like crap and want to be amused by someone other than your favorite television shows or YouTube videos. Did I feel "Enlightened" after reading his book? In a weird and subconscious way, yes! I found myself thinking about how we put so much emphasis on things that are really so silly to start with but we think matter so much to our existence and daily living. It really goes to show how using his raw and transparent techniques of writing actually planted seeds of enlightenment for me. If many other writers out there were brave enough to do the same, maybe we all could live in this world less judgmental and more accepting of one another and our differences.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I really didn’t know what to expect going into this book. It sounded like a self-help, but with the word “Nitwit” in the title, you just never know. It was hilarious! Pretty sure my husband got irritated with me because I must have read half the book to him. Every time I found something funny, I wanted to share! The book is a collection of things he has written over the years to share with friends, and you can definitely tell! He writes like he was talking to a friend, and you see a lot of his wonderful personality throughout the book. Throughout the book, Shepherd touches on subjects like Therapy, Ego, California, Feng Shui, Astrology, The Americas, UFO’s, and soul mates…as well as everything in between. I really enjoyed this book, and would recommend it to anyone who likes to laugh, and doesn’t mind the joke being on them, because sometimes, laughter’s all you got!
FrugalMomofFour More than 1 year ago
To tell you the truth, I wasn't sure what to expect out of this book. The title certainly gave it mystery. I started to read it. It was not the self help book I was expecting. This book is a satire on human life. It touches upon each aspect of modern human life and pokes fun. It definitely helps that he is a Mac user and doesn't like Republicans :-) There was not one time as I was reading it I stopped laughing. My four year old asked "Mommy are you OK?". I told him "Yes, Jack, Mommy is reading a very funny book." Shepard definitely has a unique writing style that spoke to me personally. The down to earth type person who understands the world around him. Anyone who is human and American will certianly enjoy this book. People who aren't American and know the flaws of our "wonderful" government will love it too! I definitely recommend it!
AdriLisa More than 1 year ago
Laughter is the best medicine and Sepherd Hoodwin did a splendid job in convincing me that I am a total nitwit who seriously does not want to absolutely do anything. And, I keep doing just that... until, enlightment did zap me out of my seat bringing my consciousness into self-realization all along ascending into that marvelous stratosphere - Now, I know at least one secret and I am not telling.