Enslaved by Ducks [NOOK Book]

( 30 )

Overview

The book that Entertainment Weekly called "hilarious," Publishers Weekly declared "a true pleasure," Booklist called "heartwarming," and the Dallas Morning News praised as "rich and funny" is now available in paperback.

When Bob Tarte bought a house in rural Michigan, he was counting on a tranquil haven. Then Bob married Linda. She wanted a rabbit, which seemed innocuous enough until the bunny chewed through their electrical wiring. And that ...
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Enslaved by Ducks

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Overview

The book that Entertainment Weekly called "hilarious," Publishers Weekly declared "a true pleasure," Booklist called "heartwarming," and the Dallas Morning News praised as "rich and funny" is now available in paperback.

When Bob Tarte bought a house in rural Michigan, he was counting on a tranquil haven. Then Bob married Linda. She wanted a rabbit, which seemed innocuous enough until the bunny chewed through their electrical wiring. And that was just the beginning. Before long, Bob found himself constructing cages, buying feed, clearing duck waste, and spoon-feeding a menagerie of furry and feathery residents. His life of quiet serenity vanished, and he unwittingly became a servant to a relentlessly demanding family. "They dumbfounded him, controlled and teased him, took their share of his flesh, stole his heart" (Kirkus Reviews).

Whether commiserating with Bob over the fate of those who are slaves to their animals or regarding his story as a cautionary tale about the rigors of animal ownership, readers on both sides of the fence have found Tarte's story of his chaotic squawking household irresistible--and irresistibly funny.
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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
The Barnes & Noble Review from Discover Great New Writers
For readers who like to keep two or more books going at a time, a book like Bob Tarte's is a special treasure. His riotous good humor offers a diverting glance into "someone else's" problematic household, while his fresh prose, entertaining insights into animal and human behavior, and escalating domestic drama keep the pages turning. Enslaved by Ducks is Tarte's delectably original record of his self-conscious, reflective evolution from a carefree, urban bachelor to a devoted rural husband who becomes the increasingly subordinate caretaker of countless pets.

Tarte's charming animal anecdotes provide a cover for his lack of expertise as an opinionated, if ill-informed, world music critic who feathers out his music column with duck stories from his household menagerie. As with all good animal books, the mysterious characteristics of the "alien beings" provide insight into the human condition; and Tarte's willingness to let the reader in on the darkest hours of pet care gives his debut an emotional punch that sharpens its humor and heightens its many giddy highs. A visit to the Tartes' Michigan home, inhabited by a multiplying horde of demanding ducks, geese, turkeys, parakeets, parrots, rabbits, cats, and starlings will dumbfound and delight, before the laughter it provokes will rob you of your seat. (Winter/Spring 2004 Selection)

Publishers Weekly
Knowing little about animals, Tarte and his wife na vely acquire Binky, an impish bunny, at an Easter bunny fair, little suspecting that it will soon dominate their lives and lead to a brigade of other winged and furred beasts. After Binky, they get a canary, then Ollie, an orange-chin pocket parrot, whom they return because he flings his water-logged food all over their floor and accosts them with calls and bites. Then they buy a more docile gray-cheek parakeet, which makes the Tartes realize they miss their raucous friend Ollie, whom they retrieve. Gluttons for punishment, the Tartes acquire a gender-confused African gray parrot named Stanley Sue, followed by ducks, geese, turkeys, parrots, starlings, more rabbits and cats. Every day brings an adventure or a tragedy (Ollie escapes; a duck gets eaten by a raccoon) to their Michigan country house. With dead-on character portraits, Tarte keeps readers laughing about unreliable pet store proprietors, a duck named Hector who doesn't like water, an amorous dove named Howard, a foster-mother goose, patient veterinarians and increasingly bewildered friends. Tarte has an ordinary-Joe voice that makes each chapter a true pleasure, while revealing a sophisticated vision of animals and their relationship to humans. Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.
Library Journal
Tarte spent the first 38 years of his life as a city slicker and worked as a columnist for a reggae and world-music magazine. A move to the country and his wife's growing collection of indoor and outdoor animals soon changed Tarte's column into a collection of stories about the menagerie that was taking over his life. In his words: "Our animals have provided me with the only subject besides music that I've ever felt impassioned to write about." This book is Tarte's attempt to explain how his life came to be controlled by the wants and needs of bunnies, cats, and a variety of birds ranging from parrots to ducks, geese, and turkeys. With the good humor and positive outlook that can come only from having infinite patience and understanding, Tarte recounts some of his trials and tribulations, beginning with the arrival of Binky, a dwarf Dutch rabbit with destructive gnawing habits. Tarte misses the lesson on the folly of impulse buying and soon acquires a parrot named Ollie, who is so cantankerous that Tarte must return him after only three days. Not only did the author and his wife relent and reclaim Ollie but they even acquired other parrots, with equally disturbing results. This light and witty diversion is highly recommended for those who appreciate the value of good humor and a positive outlook on life.-Edell Schaefer, Brookfield P.L., WI Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.
School Library Journal
Adult/High School-A cast of characters listed in the front-along with all of the veterinarians consulted-helps to keep straight the bewildering number of animals, mostly avian and each with a personality of its own, that populates this amusing book. Newly married Michiganders Bob and Linda Tarte moved to the country per her desire, and soon she talked him into acquiring a rabbit to add to their two cats. Despite the bunny's bad attitude, one animal led to another, until there were more of them than you can shake a bird perch at. Tarte was sometimes hard-pressed to name them all, since they encompassed ducks, bunnies, cats, doves, canaries, turkeys, parrots, starlings, geese, and parakeets. While teens might not want to own any of these noisy and often bad-tempered beasts, reading about their foibles-and the foibles of the people from whom they were acquired-is great fun, thanks to the author's sly sense of humor and willingness to poke good-natured fun at himself, his wife, and their menagerie. Potential pet owners who think that caring for one or two animals would be a walk in the park will find this book extremely useful reading. In fact, they might have second thoughts about a trip to the pet store. Other readers will chuckle at the situations presented, and pet owners will no doubt identify with them.-Judy McAloon, Potomac Library, Prince William County, VA Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.
Kirkus Reviews
The wholly disarming story of a music reviewer’s move to the country, where he gradually, inexorably gathered about him a ragtag band of animals. "The long, smooth slide from keeping one animal to housing more than two dozen amazes me as much as the fact that I'm willing to expend energy on them," Tarte writes. He was an urban creature, ready (if ill-prepared) to take on the work of writing about reggae and world music because the chance fell in his lap. He was not so ready (though equally ill-prepared) to turn his rural Michigan residence over to a multiplying horde of insistent ducks, geese, parrots, parakeets, turkeys, cats, rabbits, and starlings. They dumbfounded him, controlled and teased him, took their share of his flesh, stole his heart. Since animals inevitably get sick, sometimes mortally, Tarte found that visits to the vet eventually necessitated visits to the psychiatrist; his mood chemistry needed as much help as his menagerie. While he keeps the tone light, peppered with dredging humor ("Pat a hunter's hound on the head, idly suggest that one of these days you'd like to bag a dog with a .22, and expect a heated discussion"), the author quietly suggests that animals are little packets of alien intelligence fully inhabiting their own world, which is worth tapping into. His furred and feathered companions took Tarte out of himself, gave him a satisfying flinch of pleasure, taught him to live within chaos, introduced him to the strange ceremonies of animal care. As well, they pulled his chain, broke his trust, ate up his time and patience, showed him a thing or two about violence, and died on him. His chronicle of those processes ties them all neatly together, and it soundslike love. "Why didn't anyone warn me?" Tarte asks about the consequences of sharing a home with animals. It’s a good thing they didn’t, or we might not have had this affecting debut.
Dallas Morning News
"For anyone who has ever opened heart and home to an animal."
Entertainment Weekly
"Hilarious....You may never look at Fido the same way."
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781565127302
  • Publisher: Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill
  • Publication date: 10/1/2004
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 320
  • Sales rank: 58,342
  • File size: 3 MB

Meet the Author

Bob Tarte has written for a number of publications, including the New York Times, the Beat magazine, the Boston Globe, the Whole Earth Review, and the Miami New Times, and has appeared on a variety of radio shows. He lives in Lowell, Michigan, with his wife, Linda, and three parrots, a dove, two parakeets, two rabbits, three cats, six geese, twelve ducks, one turkey and nine hens. The Tartes also raise and release orphaned songbirds.
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Table of Contents

Cast of Characters viii
Introduction 1
Chapter 1 Belligerent Binky 9
Chapter 2 Ollie Takes Over 28
Chapter 3 Stanley Sue's Identity Crisis 45
Chapter 4 Howard the Clumsy Romeo 67
Chapter 5 The Real Trouble Begins 89
Chapter 6 A Wild Duck Chase 110
Chapter 7 Raccoon Rustlers 127
Chapter 8 Enslaved by Ducks 146
Chapter 9 Creatures of Habit 169
Chapter 10 Let's Talk Turkey 189
Chapter 11 Who Cooks for You? 209
Chapter 12 Comings and Goings 226
Chapter 13 Hazel Eyes 250
Chapter 14 Weaver in the Weeds 271
Chapter 15 The Parrot Who Hated Me 291
Acknowledgments and Culpability 310
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 30 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(15)

4 Star

(4)

3 Star

(4)

2 Star

(3)

1 Star

(4)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 30 Customer Reviews

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 18, 2012

    One Talented Writer, His Animal Loving Wife, and Their 'Crew'

    For animal lovers and non-animal lovers...this is one hysterically funny and touching book. Bob Tarte is an amazing writer! The story of a man who falls head over heals in love with a mismatched bunch of fowl, felines, and rabbits and all of their 'hijinks'.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 28, 2010

    highly recommended

    A must read for anyone with ducks, parrots, bunnies and/or geese -- or city dwellers who lust after living on a bit of acreage populated with pets. Although this non-fictional story was engaging and engrossing in itself, I was constantly impressed and forced to linger over well-written turns of phrase. This guy is a talented writer, and his ability to describe a situation with color and style made this a real treat to read. I laughed, I cried, I laughed again and I cried again. What an emotional roller coaster we animal-lovers have to endure. Some people who exchew pets just can't comprehend the extreme dedication and love we animal lovers invest in our pets, and the joy we receive in return. If you are one of them, read this book. You'll understand.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 9, 2010

    Touching

    I bought this book because I'd read a review that described it as laugh-out-loud funny. I laughed a few times, but it is more absorbing than amusing. It's the story of a man who never imagined himself as he is now: enslaved by ducks (among his and his wife's many other companions). As with any story about our critter friends, there are sad moments when they die, triumphant moments when they recover from seemingly hopeless conditions and injuries, and the realization that they know if we truly love them or not. The Tarte's love and respect for their animals is evident throughout, and make this book a joy to read.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 25, 2010

    You'll Laugh Yourself Silly

    If you love animals and need some laughter therapy, this is the book for you. As a pet lover, I identified with the author's predicament as his pets gradually took over his life. Ducks are not the only pets to "rule the roost" in this story. Buy the book--it's cheaper than therapy.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 1, 2006

    for every pet owner

    In the course of reading this book, I had to deal with the death of one of our cats, a pet I had for almost 15 years, a pet similar to Bob and Linda's Binky-she could drive us crazy. It was comforting to have this book to read, to know that I was not alone in loving an animal in all its funny and annoying forms,then seeing it through the end of its life. Honest, touching, hysterical.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 3, 2006

    Great Read

    I pick up this book and could not put it down untill it was finished!! great book All animals lovers should own.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 10, 2005

    my favorite book--highly recommended

    I rarely have ever read a book a second time, but I am just finishing this book once more, and may even read it again. I enjoyed the personal stories Bob shared. I never imagined that a book about someone else's life and animals could be so interesting and funny, even though I own many of my own animals. However, I decided to give it a try and checked it out from the library just to see what it was like. I ended up buying my own copy because I wanted to be able to loan it out to other people who might like it as well. (Also so I could read it again myself, of course!) I identified with the way he feels about his animals, and the amount of time and thought each requires. I hope he will write more stories in a future book. His humor reminds me of Dave Barry's. (I've read all of Dave's books, so I need more of Bob's or his to continue my reading pleasure--a person can only read the same book so many times, right?)

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 25, 2004

    Great book

    This is an amazing book. Bob and his Wife Linda go from a normal home to a completely crazy home that felt even more normal than before! They acquire what may be an insane amount of animals. They learn some hard lessons, and gain experience. You really get to watch them grow as people. My personal experience with this book, was finding out that I'm not alone in the world! With 7 or 8 pets in my house it was a great feeling to see what happened to me happen to someone else, even to a greater extreme. I was crying, laughing, and reading it to everyone in my family. You should give this book a chance. You wont put it down! I'm a terrible writer, but trust me when I say, everyone will love this book.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 14, 2004

    Gone Quackers

    Having recently incubated & hatched a duckling, I was browsing the B&N shelves for books about ducks (you need more!). As soon as I saw the title I knew I had to have this one. I read it in the car on my way home (but only at the stop lights!) & read it to my husband once I got there ... nearly busted a gut just reading the cast of characters. Lots of fun.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 6, 2004

    Glad I found this book!

    Just a laugh a minute. If you've ever been owned by a furry or feathery pet, you'll love this book. His writing is such fun to read and you can almost believe you're there with him.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 31, 2004

    Humorous,misleading? title...

    A cantakerous parrot is also involved as he tries to maintain, among his cotingent of adopted 'pets' a semblance..of domesticity-- & sanity! See also Wild Parrots of Telegraph' hill',2004. Maybe a docu will be filmed on this,too.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 3, 2013

    Lightly Entertaining

    Kind of cute and entertaining. The thought of all those animals in the house made me sort of cringe, though. If you liked this book I would recommend Just A Couple of Chickens by Corrinne Tippett.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 2, 2012

    Not worth buying

    As an avid animal book/book reader, I didn't even bother to finish this one. BOORING!

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 13, 2012

    Only recommended to fans or fowl

    Could/should have been entitled "My Wife and I Both Married a Dumbass!" One bunny and bird/duck/parrot/turkey/starling,etc., etc. after another. And they don't just sing or talk and eat, you know! Lots of love for these pets, but OMG, too far!

    0 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 29, 2011

    Great book!

    This is an excellant book for the poultry and waterfowl lovers like me :)

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 15, 2007

    This is a 'must read' for anyone who has pets!

    My niece gave me this book because I live near the same small town as the author. It turns out that I live very near the author! This is a warm and funny book, well written and entertaining!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 27, 2004

    Clever title

    The title sold me on the book, and turned out to be the most enjoyable part of this narrative. The book plodded slowly from the acquisition of a 'pet', its adjustment to the family, its demise, and finding a replacement, ad infinitum! I was so disappointed in the author's dull, repetitive style. As a nature and pet lover, I expected and hoped to be more involved in the story.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 8, 2008

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 16, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted July 9, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

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