Entitled to Good Loving

Overview

As a family and relationship therapist for fifteen years, Audrey Chapman has witnessed firsthand the battle that is raging between African-American men and women. Women are tired of bearing the burden, emotionally and economically, for the "ills" of the black community. Men feel dominated and overshadowed by these same women, and devise outrageous games of subterfuge to wrest control and mask their own vulnerability. Both feel bitter toward a society that thwarts the attainment of their goals while criticizing ...
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Overview

As a family and relationship therapist for fifteen years, Audrey Chapman has witnessed firsthand the battle that is raging between African-American men and women. Women are tired of bearing the burden, emotionally and economically, for the "ills" of the black community. Men feel dominated and overshadowed by these same women, and devise outrageous games of subterfuge to wrest control and mask their own vulnerability. Both feel bitter toward a society that thwarts the attainment of their goals while criticizing them for not doing better. The result: a vicious cycle of expectation and disappointment that poisons the ground for loving connections. In Entitled to Good Loving, Chapman explains that this struggle between partners in fact reflects an individual's internal conflict - one entailing control, emotional deprivation, the need for nurturance, and a sense of powerlessness - the roots of which can be traced to family structures and societal attitudes. Through numerous case studies featuring intimate revelations from both men and women, Chapman shows how a sense of "entitlement" - about how one's love partner should make up for one's past - can lead to unrealistic expectations and even destructive behavior.

An honest, groundbreaking book that gets to the root causes of the tension between black men and women. A nationally recognized expert on black relationships who counsels groups, couples, and singles, and featured guest on Oprah, Donahue, 20/20, and Sally, Chapman cites case studies featuring intimate revelations from both men and women.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
Chapman, a counselor at Howard Univ., here analyzes tensions between black men and women. While black women tend to be self-sufficient and feel overly burdened by responsibilities, according to Chapman, black men feel dominated by such strong women. Through highly personal case studies of both black men and women, the author shows that a sense of ``entitlement'' (feeling that one's partner should make up for the past) and discouragement of ``feminine'' traits in both boys and girls is deeply rooted in the psyches of black men and women, inadvertently causing them to antagonize each other. With sensitivity and wit, she suggests ways black men and women can shed their defenses and learn to trust each other again. Author tour. (Feb.)
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780805024593
  • Publisher: Holt, Henry & Company, Inc.
  • Publication date: 10/4/1994
  • Edition description: 1st ed
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 256
  • Product dimensions: 6.43 (w) x 9.64 (h) x 1.07 (d)

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