The EQ Difference: A Powerful Plan for Putting Emotional Intelligence to Work / Edition 1

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Co-published with SHRM.

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a strong indicator of individual, team, and organizational success. But stocking up on emotionally intelligent employees isn’t enough: you need a concrete plan for putting this valuable resource to work. The EQ Difference offers an array of self-assessment tools and team-focused exercises that will help increase and leverage emotional intelligence both in individuals and in groups. It’s filled with practical tips and suggestions for developing your own ""emotional quotient,"" as well as that of your peers, employees, and even senior executives.

Featuring real workplace examples, Letters to Leaders, and excerpts from actual performance reviews that show the positive impact of EI in a variety of environments, The EQ Difference will help your organization achieve greater productivity, higher morale, and better employee retention -- all keys to stronger bottom line results.

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What People Are Saying

From the Publisher

"""With her exceptional insights into how to nurture your emotional intelligence, Adele Lynn provides specific, practical suggestions to help maximize one's potential to perform to the fullest. Everyone can benefit from The EQ Difference.""

-- Tony Alessandra, PhD, author of The Platinum Rule and Charisma

""Using a delicious mixture of pragmatism and passion, The EQ Difference delivers a terrific recipe for relationship success in the workplace. Chock full of answers, anecdotes and activities, the book provides valuable tools for greater productivity and results.""

-- Chip R. Bell, author of Magnetic Service

""If this book had been available when I was a CEO, it would have been mandatory reading for all of our company. Adele explains in simple terms some valuable concepts and then provides effective tools for people to change their behavior and produce better results."" Jim Cederna, Cederna International, former President and CEO, Calgon Carbon Corporation"

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780814408445
  • Publisher: AMACOM
  • Publication date: 11/19/2004
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 224
  • Sales rank: 369,331
  • Product dimensions: 6.32 (w) x 9.02 (h) x 0.71 (d)

Meet the Author

ADELE P. LYNN is the author of The Emotional Intelligence Activity Book. She is a popular speaker and consultant specializing in emotional intelligence, ethics, and building trust in the workplace. She lives in Belle Vernon, Pennsylvania.

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Table of Contents

"Introduction – Your Inner Bird Dog

Part 1 Emotions – The Fuel of Life

Chapter 1 The Connection Between Feelings, Behavior and Performance

Chapter 2 The Mystery of Human Behavior

Chapter 3 The Way We are Wired

Chapter 4 Emotions - What are They?

Chapter 5 Rewiring for Greater Performance and to Live our Intentions

Chapter 6 The Five Areas of Emotional Intelligence

Part 2 Training for the Self-Coach

Chapter 7 The Doorway to Emotional Intelligence

Chapter 8 Step 1 Observe

Chapter 9 Step 2 Interpret

Chapter 10 Step 3 Pause

Chapter 11 Step 4 Direct

Chapter 12 Step 5 Reflect

Chapter 13 Step 6 Celebrate

Chapter 14 Step 7 Repeat

Part 3- Five Areas of Emotional Intelligence At Work

Chapter 15 Self-Awareness and Control at Work

Chapter 16 Empathy at Work

Chapter 17 Social Expertness at Work

Chapter 18 Personal Influence at Work

Chapter 19 Mastery of Purpose and Vision at Work"

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First Chapter

The EQ Difference

By Adele B. Lynn


Copyright © 2005 Adele B. Lynn
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0-8144-0844-3



Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness. -George Santayana

Most people's ideals are noble. To achieve these ideals, however, sometimes requires wisdom far beyond what we are able to deliver on a daily basis. We are likely to get caught in the fray of life. Little things, like rush hour traffic, the line at the deli counter, or a coworker's comments become our focus and take us away from our ideal. We sometimes get stuck in the unimportant, and unleash our energy in the wrong direction. We intended to go north, but find ourselves heading south. Emotional intelligence, as defined and outlined in this book, can serve as a compass so that we can be assured that we are on the road to living our intentions and our ideals every day.

This book is for all of us who aspire to live up to our own greatness. It is for all of us who have caught a glimpse of our wisdom, warmth, depth, and charm. It's for all of us whose intentions or ideals are sometimes greater than our actions. It's for all of us at home and at work who care enough to study ourselves and use that knowledge to manage ourselves and our relationships with others so that we truly live our intentions. That, in essence, is the definition of emotional intelligence (EQ).

Emotional intelligence can make a huge difference in both our personal lives and our work satisfaction and performance. Emotional intelligence is the distinguishing factor that determines if we make lemonade when life hands us lemons or spend our life stuck in bitterness. It is the distinguishing factor that enables us to have wholesome, warm relationships rather than cold and distant contacts. EQ is the distinguishing factor between finding and living our life's passions or just putting in time. EQ is the distinguishing factor that draws others to us or repels them. EQ is the distinguishing factor that enables us to work in concert and collaboration with others or to withdraw in dispute.

All of us have done or said something that later we regretted. In these circumstances, we walk away muttering, "I didn't mean ..." or "I wasn't thinking ..." During these times, our actions did not support our good intentions. At other times, our intentions might be fuzzy, so we act inconsistently. Still at other times, our intentions may be totally lost in a sea of emotion. Whatever the divide between intentions and reality, one thing is certain. For each day of life, the human experience will present opportunities so we may try again to bridge the divide and to live our intentions.

Emotional intelligence increases our capacity to discover and express our greatness. Why? Because emotional intelligence demands a complete disclosure of our strengths. As a result, we can begin to fully understand our ideal selves and compare this ideal to how we behave each day. Our ideal self is the self that emerges when we are unencumbered by the burden of irrational thoughts and emotional upsets that can sometimes distract us from our intentions. It's that glimpse of self that does and says the right thing at the right time in the right manner. It's that self that is centered and assured. It's that self that doesn't feel a need for other people's approval or a need to compete at the expense of others. It doesn't fear making mistakes. It doesn't lash out in anger or spend time fretting or fearing things that it cannot control. It's that self that takes confident, assured steps in both our personal and work lives that produce satisfaction and success. It's that self that inspires others. It's that self that we're proud of. I'm not talking about ego pride. I'm talking about satisfaction deep down when we know we've lived our best today.

This book is not to change who you are, but to allow more of your ideal self to come through in daily living. The fact is everyone has gaps between their true intentions and reality. If, however, you are serious about bridging this gap and living your greatness, this book will not only inspire you to do so, it will provide a plan to examine and confront the very issues that are standing in the way. In fact, if you routinely practice the practical steps presented, your ability to live your greatness in every encounter every day will sharpen.

Until recently, living an emotionally healthy and intelligent life was more or less left to chance, but today people take steps to improve all different aspects of their lives. Many people build healthy bodies through exercise, diet, and vitamins. Others take classes, read books, and pursue knowledge to learn new skills. Many seek spiritual growth by attending religious services. Improving emotional intelligence is just one more avenue to living a healthy, productive life. If you integrate the steps presented in this book into your daily lives, it will prove to be a comprehensive plan for developing emotional intelligence and living your intentions. Although in the human experience perfection may not be achievable, improvement is. So, get ready to see more of your greatness. It's time to become unstuck.

One Saturday morning in early spring, as I was sipping coffee and peering out the window. I saw two turkeys in the woods along the fence line in my backyard. If you've never seen a wild turkey, suffice it to say that they are very large birds. Their wingspan is great. If they were any larger, they would probably put numbers on their wings and begin to haul passengers. And a bird that big needs lots of room to take off in flight. I watched as they came to the edge of the fence, turned around, and walked back the other way. They went several yards and sure enough they turned around and walked again along the same path they had walked before. They kept repeating this again and again, back and forth. It occurred to me that they were stuck because they didn't have enough room to expand those massive wings and fly away. Soon I was almost able to hear the dialogue between these two birds. "George, I told you to stop and ask for directions. You never stop and ask for directions. Now, we're lost. We're stuck. We'll probably never get out of here." "Ah, Harriet, if you'd just shut up and stop confusing me, we'd be home by now." And so it went. In fact, it went for forty-five minutes before I moved away from the window to get on with my Saturday morning chores. Two hours later I went back to the window and there were George and Harriet-still stuck. I finally roused Abby, my old sleeping bird dog, and asked him to lend a hand to George and Harriet. "Just point them in the right direction, Abby." As Abby approached, this time George and Harriet deliberately quickened the pace and kept on going. They were flushed into the open land, spread those amazing wings, and took off and soared into the open sky.

George and Harriet had all of the resources they needed to fly, but they were stuck. They needed help in breaking the cycle of going back and forth over the same old territory. Instead of using those resources, they bickered and blamed one another for their plight.

George and Harriet parallel the human experience. Most people have many resources within that could help them to soar to greater heights, but sometimes they are unable to access them. And out of frustration, they may argue, fuss, fight, become immobilized, or other wise remain stuck, rather than use that energy to harness their resources and move forward.

Emotions can either fuel our actions toward true fulfillment or, like a car traveling on ice, cause us to spin while getting nowhere and accomplishing nothing except burning rubber. Managing this fuel, our emotions, is the essence of emotional intelligence. The focus of this book is to get you off the ground and into flight, just like my bird dog Abby did for George and Harriet. The book will help your inner bird dog develop into a self-coach that will help you to master the five areas of emotional intelligence and fully live your intentions, at home or at work.

Adele B. Lynn


Excerpted from The EQ Difference by Adele B. Lynn Copyright © 2005 by Adele B. Lynn. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 15, 2005

    Get Control Of Yourself!

    Excellent tool to improve one's health, attitude and have better relationships. A must have! Most awesome device to control emotions and increase success and focus on self awareness.

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