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ETERNAL CHOICESPART I: FALLEN ANGEL SERIES
By SABRINA MURRAY
AuthorHouseCopyright © 2012 Sabrina Murray
All right reserved.
Chapter OneHave you ever woken up one morning after years of living your life and wonder, "How did I get to this point?" I mean really. Was there a sign somewhere that let you know you were headed down this path? Well try being abnormal, living amongst the normal. Then try imagining what it's like being abnormal and not knowing you were abnormal. On top of that, everyone else knows you're different but you just don't see it and no one was ever able to tell you just how different you really are. That's me. All my life that's how it's been and twenty five years later, I'm finally getting the answers. No I still don't understand it but it does make sense.
Water Water Everywhere
My name is Samia. I am twenty five years old. I live in Washington, D.C. in the southwest region by the waterfront by myself. My parents died three years ago in a car accident and there aren't any siblings. I give the "single life" new meaning. I have a regular job like regular people that leaves me overworked, underpaid, under appreciated and unachieved. I would love to be an artist, playing guitar for a living and selling out concerts rather than sitting here being a customer service representative at a bank. I am supposed to advise people on responsible banking & financing but my own credit is jacked out the wah zoo. Go figure. I have also become a bit of a self proclaimed anti-social, so I really don't like talking to people and tend to lack the customer friendly attitude at times. Most of my calls tend to get transferred to a "Department Manager" which is really someone else at another cubicle. I do have all my awards from training so on paper I am actually good at my job and in my circle of friends which is Kaci and my houseful of animals, I'm known to actually be quite friendly. As far as my job goes, I follow the rules to a tee, talk with a smile and I can guarantee results not satisfaction, so basically like I said before, I'm good at my job. I turned out alright so far. Least I thought so.
When it's quiet (seldom but it can happen), I daydream. At least that's what I used to call it before I knew what it really was. It was like being a trance. I would be at work, staring out my window, tapping my pen on the desk. It would be a bright sunny day outside. I'm surrounded by tall buildings, heavy traffic on city streets, people walking up and down the street looking like ants from high up. Suddenly it would just slow down, so slow like everything and everyone is in slow motion and then it all would come to a stop. The sun would become so bright, brighter than it should be, to a point where it was blinding, although it never bothered my eyes. KA-BOOM! No more sun. It blew up like an atomic bomb in the middle of the sky. Now the sky is dark gray with heavy rainy clouds and rain is pouring down like cats and dogs. It's that big, sloppy rain. It is falling in slow motion. I could see every drop and hear it slowly around me. "PLOP, PLOP, PLOP". I am not standing on anything, there isn't even a ground. I'm just floating but perfectly still. KA-BOOM! CLASH! CLASH! Big thunder is starting to crack thru the sky with enough impact to make you think the sky is breaking. I'm still there unmoved, perfectly still as if I've been waiting for this moment. Every time the lightning flashes I see a big figure outlining the sky, taking up almost the whole mass of the sky slowly creeping thru it. It has the shape of a wolf with a long nose, snarling teeth, but his eyes are lit up red. A blood red. You cannot see the rest of him but the face is enough. It's moving like a black mist in the dark gray clouds. Those red eyes have haunted me for most of my life, staring deep into me like it was hunting for my fear. There wasn't any to find because I was never scared. I was always just still. As it was floating thru the sky, it opens its mouth to howl. You can feel the earth balance shift when it howls and it is a death defying howl like no creature should have that kind of power over man. I'm still there unmoved, watching and stalking him like he's stalking me. It's coming my way. Below me I see little black animals scurrying around. They sound like hyenas but look like jackals. They have skinny abdomens that show the bones of their ribcages, shaggy hair, but strong, muscular forelimbs and hind legs. They also have those blood red eyes. I don't see a ground at all because there is a strong heavy mist but looking down you can see them running around like rats and making those annoying noises. That lets me know that I am safer up here in the air. It seemed like the closer the wolf in the sky came, the more jackals would line up below me like some kind of army. They are in formation and everything. KA-BOOM! KA-BOOM! That thunder clash did break the sky and it excited the jackals. They sounded like they were praising the oncoming occasion. The wolf got even bigger in the sky as he approached. The jackals began to march in place. PAT, PAT, PAT, PAT, PAT, PAT. They may be little from up here but they make a lot of foot noise. Finally the wolf opens its mouth to howl again. He's roaring now. The jackals are getting noisier and more excited with those hyena sounds. PLOP PLOP. I can still see the rain slowly falling out the sky in big splotches. The wolf opens his mouth with a large howl. KA-BOOM! That one shook the foundations and a big ball of orange flame bursts out of the wolf's mouth that took up one third of the sky, coming right at me. In front of the fire a large flaming sword was coming directly at me. It was one of the baddest swords I've ever seen. It's got a large handle, an opening right above the handle, a large lower blade and a sharp upper blade. It looked almost like it can snap into three different swords if the user wanted it to. It's coming at me at full throttle. I see it because it's traveling faster than the speed of light, but at the same time in slow motion. I should be planning a reaction, but I didn't know of any. I'm there looking it dead in the face but unmoved. PLOP PLOP. The rain is louder now. As soon as the flaming sword would make contact with me I twist my body upward and put my hands up in a defense pose. Wind began to snap all around me. Off of a single drop of rain, I manifested a large rotating whirlpool. It encloses me like a shield. WHIP WHIP WHIP. You can hear the winds in it turning the water at increasing speeds. I close my eyes, clasp my hands together, palm to palm with fingers extended, it was enough force to create a boom effect and the winds whip from around me and push the whirlpool onto the flaming sword enclosing it. HA! VICTORY! Nope, not quite. The sword went from a flame to shining silver. The end of it had a whip chain. I told you that was a mean sword. It bust right thru my water shield. When that happened, I felt it. It felt like it went straight thru my flesh, ripping my insides to pieces. KA-BOOM! More thunder, more howl, more wolf and more jackals. I'm crying out from the pain, doubling over and breathing heavily. The wolf's eyes vibrated before going red to a deep sea blue. He opens his mouth to howl. The sword shot up and began to whip thru the wind. Unprepared, I see it coming this time at its real time speed, fast as shit. It looked deadly like the sword was pissed with me or something. I knew I was going to die. Still I stood there, in agonizing pain, looking death in the face defiantly unmoved. The sword was headed straight between my eyes and I knew the tip would be cold. KA-BOOM! That thunder was booming at me as it made its approach to my face. I just about closed my eyes to accept my fate when "HEY!" I shot back to reality. Once again it was a sunny day, tall buildings and busy streets. No wolf, no jackals, no sword, no water. What the hell? I look up to see my only friend and co-worker Kaci. She was standing over my desk looking at me impatiently. She's Asian and real sweet on a good day. She is mild mannered and gentle but I've seen her get upset and it is quite the opposite. I also remember when a guy said the wrong thing to her at the club and the theory of ants being able to carry ten times their weight must be true because she beat the poor guy down that was well over three times her size and weight. Actually, come to think of it Kaci is weird too. I mean with your eyes closed and listening to her talk she sounds like an urban woman. When you open your eyes you see a soft faced Oriental girl that's five foot one, maybe one hundred ten pounds soaking wet. She's thirty five in age but barely looks twenty. She has long jet black hair that looks so sharp like it can cut you and emerald green eyes that are not contacts but shine like the real gem. At the moment, those eyes were looking into me like they were pissed and her long, French manicured nails were tapping on my cubicle impatiently. I was just looking at her trying to put my mind back on earth and not the trance that it was stuck in just a moment ago. Her eyes got real big before she spoke, "Girlfriend, I've been standing here like two minutes trying to get your attention." She said while looking down at me. "Oh really, damn." I said still confused that I hadn't heard or seen her coming. "Well are you ever going to lunch or are you just going to sit there?" She asked. She whipped out a nail file and began filing away at her already perfect nails. "Huh?" I said. When I last looked at the clock it was 10:13am, why was she talking about lunch? She gave me a duh stare. "Its 12:30 girl, where have you been?" She said playfully. I'm still trying to put the pieces together. I looked at my phone I had thirty one missed calls and the voicemail was lit up blinking. I rubbed my hands on my forehead. I honestly wasn't thinking about any food because my stomach ached something serious. I shook it off. I looked down to get my purse. I saw my palms. They were red and sweaty. They had blood on them. I dabbed at my forehead, sure enough, real blood. From what? I took a Kleenex out of the box on my desk. "What happened?" Kaci asked looking concerned. "I don't know. I might have burst a pimple or something." I said plainly while hunching my shoulders. I grabbed the hand sanitizer and some alcohol wipes that I had in a drawer. I wiped my forehead with the alcohol, threw it in the trash and sanitized my hands. I tossed the sanitizer in the trash and went to stand up. My stomach pain tripled. I doubled over wailing, pushing everything on my desk over. Kaci went to help. "What's going on?" She asked showing concern while trying to help me sit back down. "Mmmm" was all I could muster. I exhaled heavy. My hands were shaking violently as I tried to reach into my purse for some Multi-Strength pain killers I had. They usually helped but the pain has never been this intense before. Kaci was patting my back. "I'll get you some water" She said. I nodded as in to say thank you. "Man these spasms of yours are getting worse. I don't see how you do it? What did the doctor say last time?" She said as she is walking to the water cooler. She brings me the water in a hurry and I gulp it down breathing heavily. After a moment of taking heavy breaths I speak. "To take what I'm taking. If it lasts longer, make an appointment." "That's bullshit. We are making a new appointment with a different doctor. Keep going back and forth just to be told nothings wrong and you over there dying? Give me your phone book!" She is going off on a tirade but all I hear is gibberish because I am too immersed in the pain. She goes thru my purse to get my phone book. I can't make out all the words she is saying because it sounds like English with Korean gibberish mixed in together. Eventually she found it and begun calling the doctor. The truth is I went to the doctor all the time with the pain and all. They would check me in, examine me and tell me that they don't see anything. I had pelvic exams, blood work, sonograms, everything and each time showed up with nothing. After these daydreams I would always be left with wounds that no one could see. I never told the doctors about the daydreams because I didn't want them to call me crazy and take me to the "loony bin". I already knew what would happen if I even tried so I saw no point in going there. I was just used to dealing with it the best I could. Kaci on the other hand would have none of that and would want to shoot me up to the hospital, have me sit there for three hours while I'm wailing in pain, just to get to the examination room and the pain would disappear as if it were never there. I would get a prescription, paperwork for more lab test and they would come up clean. It's been like this for six years now. I was tired of it and was in no mood to do it Kaci's way. Kaci was in the background still going off in Korenglish. I breathed in real sharp. I'd had it with this. I brought myself to a meditative state and thought of a nice oasis of sparkling water, flowing off a mountain. Water that was so crystal clear it should be sacred. The sound was so peaceful and the smell was so sweet in the air. The sun would kiss your skin ever so softly and drinking the water, it had the sweetest taste. I felt purified. I stayed in the moment. It was so peaceful, surreal and sweet. The sun was perfect and the foundation had beautiful streams that flowed into a big body of crystal blue water. I walked over to the stream and submerged my feet in the water and felt the earth beneath it. It wrapped itself around me, cushioning me. No spiky rocks blistering my skin, just warm, wet sand. The air was crisp, softly wrapping itself around me. Peaceful, everything was still. Moments had passed. When I came to, I felt no pain. I heard Kaci's voice still on the phone going off frantically. I was feeling much better. More peaceful, more calm. I touched her hand. "I'm ok now." I told her calmly with a smile. She took a look at me, got quiet, took a look back at the phone and hung up silently. I still heard the ocean in my ears. "Thank you." I told her as I was rising to my feet slowly. The room temperature, ground and scent still felt like the ocean even though I was still at my job. I wasn't even hungry. I looked at the clock again, 12:47. That's unusual. The first black out took up two hours. This one took up fifteen minutes that felt like days. Weird. Kaci gave me a "what's going on?" look but I couldn't even try to explain. I had a feeling if I tried I would be one step closer to that loony bin. Besides I have my coping mechanisms and this was better than the pills. I walked to the bathroom. I approached the mirror to look at myself. My skin looked clearer and healthier. If I had been bleeding you wouldn't have known it. I also noticed that my eyes were brighter. They were normally a dark brown but now they were a bronze, so it wasn't your cliché brighter, but the irises went two shades up in color and the black pupils were smaller and took an almond shape. I liked everything about myself. I think I need to go have another cup of water.
I made it through the rest of the day fine and arrived home that evening about 6:30. I live in a one story house that's a zoo. Not a typical zoo, it's just a have a lot of animals. All of them are unique. There are two Japanese fighting fish, one red and one blue. They are in separate bowls that face each other. I know that's wrong but it's for my own entertainment. I also have a bird, a sun canary that's orange, yellow and red named Dodo that does absolutely nothing but swing back and forth and look pretty. Never makes a sound. You can literally leave the cage door open and he'll sit on his bar and swing back and forth. There is the house mascot a long-haired white cat named Barry. He is obese but very agile for his size. He has to weigh about twenty five pounds. He is thick, pretty and friendly. His eyes are a dark green that almost look scary because they so big they take up half his face. He is fighting high cholesterol right now. Don't ask me, I just feed him Friskies. Lastly, there is my favorite, Eddie. He is a gold and black five foot long Amazonian boa constrictor. He has been with me for eight years now. I didn't buy him, I found him. He was sitting on my bedroom windowsill of my parents' house at the time. He seemed like he wanted to come in. I wasn't afraid so I opened the window and let him in. It nearly freaked my parents out but I couldn't seem to get rid of him and he was always nice to me so what the hell. He has been with me ever since.
Excerpted from ETERNAL CHOICES by SABRINA MURRAY Copyright © 2012 by Sabrina Murray. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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