- Shopping Bag ( 0 items )
Posted October 28, 2013
The story should have been straightforward. I could see that this was the author's intention. However, spelling, grammar errors, unexplained characters who would pop up in the conversation out of no where, and incorrect names were very distracting. It is very clear that the author needed someone to proofread this story before having it self-published. Also, there were parts that repeated themselves which need to be edited. Furthermore, in the excerpt of another story the author was writing, the author gets sidetracked by an idea, for example the Sheriff's dog and right in the middle of the sheriff's conversation with his deputy--at a critical part of the story--the author starts writing a story about the dog where it had come from, how brave it was, how it had saved the Sheriff's wife, etc. That sort of sidetracked the reader from the story-- not that I didn't like the story about the dog. It was cute. But it just didn't seem to fit in with the rest of the story--at least not at that point. It could have been incorporated into the story when the actual event took place. It would have worked better. Anyway, I think both stories could have been better. With a little nore detail and some editing and proofreading, these two stories would have been great to read. In their present form, it's just really confusing and hard to make sense of at times. Sorry i couldn't give it a better review...
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Posted November 4, 2013