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Every Demon Has His Day

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Overview

Whipping up prize-winning chicken-fried steak . . . fighting demonic forces . . .East Texas gals can do it all!
In her wildest dreams, Constance Plyd never thought she’d see dead people. Then again, she never thought she’d be hit on by her ex-husband at his own funeral . . . or be the prime suspect in his murder. Fortunately for Constance, irresistibly sexy sheriff Nathan Garrett wants to believe her explanation—that a card-carrying demon in a black suit killed Jimmy in the ...

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Overview

Whipping up prize-winning chicken-fried steak . . . fighting demonic forces . . .East Texas gals can do it all!
In her wildest dreams, Constance Plyd never thought she’d see dead people. Then again, she never thought she’d be hit on by her ex-husband at his own funeral . . . or be the prime suspect in his murder. Fortunately for Constance, irresistibly sexy sheriff Nathan Garrett wants to believe her explanation—that a card-carrying demon in a black suit killed Jimmy in the garage—or maybe he wants something more. Either way, all signs are leading to a showdown of hellish proportions, with Constance at the heart of the battle, when the Devil and would-be mother of the Antichrist (a pop princess wannabe) descend on Crockett County. Sure, she’d rather be cooking up a storm for the next state fair, but if she’s going to be the Chosen One, at least Constance can give a few demons a Texas-style butt kicking. . . .

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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
In Crockett County, Texas, hometown girl Constance Plyd is best known for her State Fair–winning chicken-fried steak recipe. Few people know or care about her unquenchable thirst to memorize Bible verses or her prophetic skills. Thus, when she experiences a vision of the coming of the Antichrist to her immediate neighborhood, nobody else seems eager to heed this café owner and minor prophet. At that point, little Constance realizes the obvious: fighting the East Texas demon wars is going to have to be a one-woman project! A brisk apocalyptic read.
Publishers Weekly

In this frightfully funny series launcher, Lockwood introduces "minor prophet" and cafe owner Constance Plyd of Dogwood County, Tex., whose soon-to-be-ex-husband, Jimmy, gets whacked by Yaman, a demon in a black baseball cap assigned to jump-start Constance's second sight. Things, of course, get complicated: as Yaman tries to complete his mission and organize the Antichrist's return (via a young pop starlet), Constance becomes the prime suspect in her husband's murder, paving the way for hunky sheriff (and former one-night-stand artist who'd loved and left Constance) Nathan Garrett to get involved. An expansive and quirky cast (including a talking French bulldog angel) lends plenty of supernatural support to Lockwood's chicken-fried chick lit paranormal. (Apr.)

Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Library Journal

Bearing a French bulldog in a pink sweater and a halo and with a prominent character called Dead Jimmy, Lockwood promises laughs interspersed with psychics, demons, and ghosts. Lockwood, of I Do (But I Dont) fame and a series of YA novels where classic literature characters come to life (e.g., Bard Academy), brings down-home humor to this tale of dead (and dumb) ex-husbands and haunted old flames. Constance Plyd is a prophet who is supposed to foretell the birth of the next Antichrist (the last being an unfortunate half goat with a penchant for eating tin cans). Stuck in a marriage with the aforementioned Dead Jimmy (before he was dead, of course), Constance doesn't know it and would rather just live quietly working at her diner. When a Pride Demon owns up to offing Jimmy and she starts seeing ghosts, Constance begins a wild, funny ride in this Shanna Swendson/Kim Harrison readalike. Lockwood's latest work is recommended for public libraries, especially those with a patron base geared toward humor and urban fantasy.
—Stacey Rottiers

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781439173367
  • Publisher: Pocket Star
  • Publication date: 1/26/2010
  • Format: Mass Market Paperback
  • Pages: 400
  • Sales rank: 1,010,657
  • Product dimensions: 6.82 (w) x 4.32 (h) x 1.04 (d)

Meet the Author

Cara Lockwood is also the author of I Do (But I Don't), which was made into a Lifetime movie, as well as Pink Slip Party and Dixieland Sushi, and Every Demon Has His Day, all available from Downtown Press. She was born in Dallas, Texas, and earned a Bachelor's degree in English from the University of Pennsylvania. She has worked as a journalist in Austin, and is now married and living in Chicago. Her husband is not a rock star, but he does play the guitar — poorly.

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Read an Excerpt

One

The day Constance Plyd discovered her destiny, she was knee-deep in suds and bubbles, a mess of her soon-to-be-ex-husband Jimmy's making. Jimmy knew every last player who ever put on a Dallas Cowboy uniform, but seemed incapable of remembering routine household information, like the fact that you don't put Tide in the dishwasher, even if the Cascade is running low.

Constance couldn't believe on the day he was supposed to sign the divorce papers he'd made a mess. Jimmy, who'd never done a dish the whole time they were married, suddenly found the urge to run the dishwasher, mere minutes from the end of their marriage. And now her kitchen was covered in suds.

But she shouldn't be surprised. Jimmy was in an elite club of eejits. Just last year when he tried to change Constance's motor oil, he ended up draining out all her transmission fluid instead. In fact, there was no problem Jimmy couldn't make worse. He was the kind of man who broke most everything he touched, including but not limited to lawn mowers, generators, refrigerators, tractors, trailers, trucks, cars, and even, once, a spoon. Their neighbors scattered any time Jimmy came out on the porch, in case he was looking to borrow something, because if he remembered to bring it back at all, it would be in pieces.

The only thing Jimmy had ever managed to do right was inherit a modest income from his childless uncle, who accidentally struck oil when he was digging a well in his backyard in 1962. It wasn't Rockefeller money, or even Beverly Hillbillies money, but it was just enough to ensure Jimmy never had to work a day in his life.

Constance never thought she'd end up with Jimmy and his ever-dwindling fortune. But falling for him was a temporary lapse in judgment that Constance blamed squarely on Nathan Garrett.

Nathan Garrett, you see, was the youngest of the Garrett brothers, notorious throughout Dogwood County for their good looks and their fast hands. In high school, the brothers — a set of twins and the youngest, Nathan — pretty much were responsible for relieving the greater Dogwood County female population of their virginity between the years 1991 and 2000. After that, the Garretts moved on — the twins to Houston and Nathan to Dallas.

While on Christmas break from college nearly ten years ago, Nathan took Constance Hicks on a date, which, like nearly all of his dates, ended with her half naked in the backseat of his '88 red Mustang. Constance didn't mind at the time. It was only when he barreled out of town the very next day without bothering to call that she started to get resentful.

As time went on, that resentment grew and bubbled into something much more like hate when she heard through the grapevine from his former best friend that he kept a list of all the virgins he'd plucked, and she was known simply as Number Twenty-two. To add insult to injury, she ran into him at the Jiffy Lube on Route 9 three months later, and he didn't even give her a second glance or so much as a how-do-you-do.

It was after the Jiffy Lube incident that Jimmy Plyd happened to ask Constance out on a date, and she said yes out of spite, figuring that going out with the opposite of Nathan Garrett could only do her good. Jimmy had been so nice and kind then, and didn't manage to destroy anything on their subsequent first date, and Constance started to feel a little better about being left by Nathan. Jimmy, she could tell right away, was not the kind of man who left. He was the kind of man who stayed. He might burn down your garage, but he wouldn't up and disappear on you after.

He didn't blink an eye when she vented about Nathan Garrett. He just kept coming by every Friday night with flowers and a half-gallon tub of Rocky Road ice cream, wearing down her defenses until Constance got used to him being around. A year after that, he offered Constance her very own restaurant in the town square as an engagement gift, and while she wasn't sure she loved him, she definitely loved the restaurant, so she said yes.

She really believed she would grow to love Jimmy in time, but after nine years of flat tires, collapsing shelves, loose door hinges, cracked toilets, a shattered bathroom mirror, and one exploding washing machine, Constance had had enough.

Of course, her friends had been telling her for years she ought to divorce him, especially since most of them didn't know why she married him in the first place, but Constance didn't make that decision lightly. She'd carried around divorce papers in her Camry for nearly a year before finally giving them to Jimmy three months ago.

Now, as the suds piled even higher in the kitchen, nearly reaching the kitchen counter, and ruining any chance she had of making her state fair blue-ribbon-winning chicken-fried steak for the ladies of the First Protestant Church Bible Study class (who met every Thursday night), Constance felt, not for the first time, that if she ever ran into Nathan Garrett again, she would have some choice words to say to him. Because somehow, despite the fact that Jimmy was her own personal disaster, Constance still liked to blame Nathan. It just felt right.

She'd heard he was back in town, and she had a speech planned in her head, should she happen to bump into him. In fact, she had several speeches, all of which she'd honed after years of lying awake at night, wondering what he was up to, and specifically, whose life he might be ruining at that moment.

Constance grabbed a few tea towels from the counter to try to sop up the water, but it was no use. There was simply too much of it. She didn't have time for this. She was supposed to drop off the chicken-fried steaks on her way to the Magnolia Café — her pride and joy — and the only gift Jimmy gave her that he didn't later break.

Cooking was the one thing Constance could do well. Romance and relationships, not so much, but get her within spitting distance of a saucepan and a stove, and she could whip up food good enough to make your mouth water for days. Jimmy had either ruined her kitchen out of spite or because he was hoping to put off signing those divorce papers — again. He'd been stalling for the better part of three months now, and Constance had had enough. She didn't really understand the procrastinating. Constance had signed a prenup (on his mother's insistence). Except for the Magnolia Café, which was deeded in her name, she'd get none of Jimmy's money. And frankly, she didn't want it. She just wanted Jimmy out of her life. At this point, she'd be willing to pay him to leave.

Besides, she was twenty-eight, and they didn't have children. Now was the time to go, when, as her mother said, her tires still had some tread left.

"Jimmy!" Constance shouted toward the back door. He was supposed to be in their attached garage, packing up the last of his "tools" — the ones he hadn't yet managed to break.

She listened, but heard nothing. Not that she actually wanted Jimmy to come help. His idea of helping would probably be to throw gasoline on the suds and then light them on fire.

As Constance tried to figure out whether she wanted to shout at Jimmy more than she wanted to try to save her new linoleum floor, she heard a loud whoosh of air, which slammed against the back door and rattled the windows. And then she was struck, suddenly, by the strong smell of something foul — a cross between burnt popcorn and Jimmy's gym socks. Her first thought was that Jimmy had started a fire in the garage — again — but there wasn't smoke, and this smell was worse than a fire. And there wasn't any cursing, either, which was a sure sign this wasn't a Jimmy-related calamity, since they all came with a chorus of cussing. In fact, the only sound coming from the garage was a thump, like a sack of potatoes being dropped to the ground.

And in that second, she knew it was something bad. Something really bad. Something worse than Jimmy.

She didn't want to open the back door because she somehow knew what she would find before she found it, but she steeled herself and did anyway. She stepped into the garage and the first thing she saw was a man in a black suit, with a double-breasted suit jacket along with a black baseball cap. He was standing over the body of her soon-to-be-ex husband, who was lying facedown next to his pickup truck, a screwdriver handle sticking out of his back. At first, Constance thought it must be some kind of joke. Then she saw the tiny trickle of blood that was running down from the screwdriver and pooling on the garage floor.

Jimmy was dead.

The man who had clearly just killed him turned and flashed her an unnaturally white smile. He tipped his black baseball cap in her direction, then, gingerly stepping over the blood puddle, handed her a business card with red letters. It read:

Yaman
Demon at Large
Murder and mayhem since 550 bc

In her hands, the card disintegrated as she read it, burning from the edges until it was nothing but a pile of ash in her palm. When she looked up again, the man in black was gone.

Copyright © 2009 by Cara Lockwood

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 29 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(9)

4 Star

(15)

3 Star

(4)

2 Star

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 29 Customer Reviews
  • Posted June 21, 2009

    Witty read.

    Cara Lockwood does a great job painting a picture of her characters. I love the snarky attitudes, which I do in most books I read. However, it did get a little too much, even for me.

    I love the idea of the story, unlikely hero.romance.paranormal happenings.dead people.great stuff.

    My fav.

    Several times Cara Lockwood's witty writing had me laughing out loud. It had me flipping from page to page rather quickly as well. Some scenes were a little too corny, but I read right through them and was rewarded with a great ending.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 2, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    Combining elements from urban fantasy, religion, and chick lit elements, Cara Lockwood creates an amusing lighthearted romp

    Constance Plyd has been waiting for months to get her husband to sign the divorce papers; she believes this is the day she has prayed for. However, before that can happen, she finds Jimmy¿s dead body with a screwdriver protruding from his back. At the scene is the Pride demon Yeman who killed him. He gives her his card as he and Shadow the Gluton demon know she is the Chosen One as the prophet with visions that indicate who Lucifer is to have sex with in order to begat the Antichrist.<BR/><BR/>Sheriff Nathan Garret, who years ago had sex with Constance one day and left her the next, questions her. He finds her story unbelievable, which she can understand as so does Constance. In a vision she sees a small dog wearing a pink sweater who will help her. The canine Frank turns out to be an apprentice angel who belongs to movie star Dante London. The star is coming to town to film a movie. She is the vassal chosen to carry the Antichrist, but Frank and Constance wait for more of her visions to determine when and where the seduction will tale place so they can stop Lucifer from carrying out his plan.<BR/><BR/>Combining elements from urban fantasy, religion, and chick lit elements, Cara Lockwood creates an amusing lighthearted romp starring a non-believer who has visionary powers due to her matriarchal DNA. Constance always thought her mom Abigail was a fruitcake until she began to see the truth. It takes her a while to accept her skill, but once she does even Lucifer believes she is a force to be reckoned with. Readers will enjoy this off-beat humorous yet action-packed thriller as the strong cast knows that EVERY DEMON HAS HIS DAY even if it takes eternity for it to occur.<BR/><BR/>Harriet Klausner

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted January 12, 2012

    Wacky But Fun

    Maybe I just have a wacky sense of humor, but I really enjoyed this. Yes, it gets goofy at times. It's vaguely reminiscent of the movie 'End of Days,' but without that Republican who never bothers to learn English well. It's also a little bit like 'Men in Black,' what with the talking lapdog and all. If you like Sookie Stackhouse, you're likely to enjoy Constance Plyd, visionary minor prophet. The good-versus-evil dramedy overwhelms the romance, and the sex is "off-camera," so this doesn't quite count as a paranormal romance. Still, it's entertaining. Once I got to the last 100 pages or so, I couldn't put it down.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted November 25, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    fun

    definetely a fun read. kept me entertained and made me want more

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted November 3, 2010

    Lockwood is my favorite

    I've always loved Lockwood's corky humor and fun easy reads. This is another good one.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 6, 2010

    fun read

    this book was a fun read. i look forward to more from this author.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 24, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    Funny, easy read

    I picked this up on a whim, mostly because I thought the cover was interesting. I'm glad I did! The story was interesting and funny. Maybe I'm a little twisted, but I thought the demons were the most likable characters in the book! The use of the teeny-bopper was hilarious to me, and had me mentally calculating which celebs this could easily happen to. It was a fun book, easy to read, and had a good flow. At times, it reminded me a bit of the movie Dogma, but that's not a bad thing. This will be going into my permanent poolside collection.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 31, 2009

    Love This Book!

    You can't help but love the characters' quick wit and humor. This book has everything . . .romance, demons, and dogs.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 1, 2009

    What More Could You Ask For?

    Constance Plyd who sees dead people, add her ex-dead-husband Jimmy and her first lover, Nathan who's the sheriff, toss with demons, the Anti-Christ, the Chosen, and a talking dog, serve in a Texas rural setting, and you have a thoroughly entertaining and hilarious book. Looking forward eagerly to the next installation.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 20, 2009

    Fun story

    This was a fun story with demons, angels, talking dogs, ghosts and romance.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 29, 2008

    more from this reviewer

    Every Demon Has His Day by Cara Lockwood

    Reviewed for queuemyreview.com; book release April 2009<BR/><BR/>Chicklit meets paranormal romance equals ¿Every Demon Has His Day¿. Cara Lockwood¿s hilarious story of a small town, soon-to-be ex-wife turned `minor prophet¿ left me grinning. This is IN NO WAY a serious or heavy read. Nope, this is light-hearted, funny, and almost a spoof of the darker, paranormal books on every shelf of your bookstore¿s romance section.<BR/><BR/>Constance really isn¿t having a good day. First her soon-to-be-ex tried to `help¿ again which means he put laundry soap in the dishwasher! Now her floor is covered with suds. Next, she hears a noise in the garage and finds her husband on the floor, obviously dead, with a screwdriver in his back and a weird dude in black standing over him. Then, the weird dude gives her a business card that dissolves into ash after she reads it and he disappears¿leaving her with a dead husband and a story absolutely nobody in their right mind will believe. To top off her day, the new Sheriff (who just happens to be the old flame who took her virginity, never called back, and moved away) shows up and, of course, can¿t believe a word she says. Is that a bad day, or what?<BR/><BR/>Now she has to deal with: a talking dog who¿s an angel-in-training, the hunky sheriff, visions she can¿t control, sex with said hunky sheriff, two demons dogging her every step, getting arrested after sex with said hunky sheriff, a movie star who sold their soul to the devil (just one?), more sex with said hunky sheriff, and a ditzy teenage movie star she must prevent from giving birth to the Antichrist¿oh, and more sex with the sheriff and a Ramboesque Catholic priest.<BR/><BR/>If all that sounds funny, that¿s because it is. Whether or not Lockwood intended her book to be satiric, that¿s how I read it and it still makes me grin when I think about it. There were a couple of places where I though the author went over to line to silliness, but there weren¿t enough of those to keep me from enjoying the read. The sexy sheriff¿was sexy, and had thankfully grown up a bit. But seeing him receiving the `karmic return¿ from just about every woman in town because of his teenage actions was in some way cathartic ¿, and simply, evilly enjoyable.<BR/><BR/>Cara Lockwood has plans to release another book with at least some of the same characters. I¿ll likely buy that one just to see if it¿s as amusing for me as ¿Every Demon Has His Day¿ was. So for anyone looking for a break from the plethora of emotional, dark paranormal romances out there today¿I think you could do much worse than picking up a copy of Lockwood¿s book¿and laughing your way through it!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 1, 2013

    Only ok

    The idea for the story , awesome! The writing style not so awesome. I felt like i had to wade through a LOT of useless info to get to the point. It was like the story was written by someone in middle school. I forced myself to finish it and it did get better but if i could trade to get my time back i would.

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  • Posted April 29, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    I wish she'd left the demons out. . .

    "Every Demon has his Day," is an odd title for a book where no demon actually ends up having a good day. Actually, I think this book would have benefited if the author had tried to find a way to leave the demons out completely. The demons were kitschy and distracting to the storyline. Considering all of the serious issues between the heroine and her love interest, the idle demon banter interposed between serious chapters seemed to detract from the book.

    Although I love pop culture references in my sci-fi, this one went a little overboard. I don't think anybody, IRL actually thinks that much about name brands (even demons), and I wish the author hadn't put that much thought into it either.

    The solution to the Libby Bell murder, which was predictable, seemed to go by the wayside for something that was so important to a major character. I think this storyline could have been developed more.

    All in all, I finished the book, but I won't be reading another one. There's much better stuff out there begging my attention.

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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    Posted March 8, 2011

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    Posted February 10, 2009

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    Posted January 31, 2010

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    Posted June 18, 2010

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    Posted March 2, 2013

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    Posted March 11, 2011

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    Posted August 22, 2010

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