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Everybody Marries the Wrong Person: From Infatuation and Disenchantment to Mature Love [NOOK Book]

Overview

Yes, you married the wrong person and your spouse did, too. So, what exactly does it mean? It means everybody goes wrong. It means everybody clings to unrealistic expectations about marriage. It means the old marriage models are failures and it is time for a new paradigm. For most of us, misconceptions and myths about romantic relationships remain unquestioned. We follow conventional guideposts because everyone else is following them. Everybody Marries the Wrong Person discusses the twenty misleading beliefs ...
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Everybody Marries the Wrong Person: From Infatuation and Disenchantment to Mature Love

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Overview

Yes, you married the wrong person and your spouse did, too. So, what exactly does it mean? It means everybody goes wrong. It means everybody clings to unrealistic expectations about marriage. It means the old marriage models are failures and it is time for a new paradigm. For most of us, misconceptions and myths about romantic relationships remain unquestioned. We follow conventional guideposts because everyone else is following them. Everybody Marries the Wrong Person discusses the twenty misleading beliefs about romantic relationships and addresses the big six warning signs of users and abusers: substance abuse/dependence, mental cruelty, physical and/or sexual battery, anger, controlling behavior and under-functioning/under-responsibility.
Everybody Marries the Wrong Person means that marriage cannot succeed without mature love and discusses the eight basics of mature love and lists four behavioral goals. Mature love develops as we manage personal expectations and reactions, focus on partners strengths and choose to be both loving and lovable.
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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
With this debut, Meinecke positions herself in the tradition of best-sellers like Freakonomics and Stumbling on Happiness. Starting with the bold statement – "You married the wrong person and your spouse did, too" – the practicing psychologist debunks clichés, conventional wisdom, and wishful thinking about what constitutes a successful relationship. In the grip of infatuation, we overlook faults, only to wake up to the dismaying reality that our beloved is far from perfect. This danger point, Meinecke warns, often arrives in the first four years of marriage, causing partners to become convinced that they should have said "I don't." She counsels readers not to fall into the "f you love me, you will change" trap, instead focusing on a partner's strengths. She also warns against the pop-psychology practice of correcting a partner's shortcomings by pitching a fit, arguing that fighting is not only counterproductive, but unhealthy. To have relationship success, "we must learn not to fight and to constructively manage our angry feelings." Meinecke's approach to achieving a "dynamic and rational, uniquely satisfying" modern marriage is an upbeat reality check. (July)
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780882823683
  • Publisher: New Horizon Press
  • Publication date: 8/9/2011
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 224
  • Sales rank: 638,300
  • File size: 542 KB

Meet the Author

Christine Meinecke, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist with twenty-seven years of clinical experience. She received her doctorate in Counseling Psychology from the University of Kansas and completed a postdoctoral fellowship at The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. She has been published in professional journals and has taught and guest lectured at the college level. She and her husband live in Des Moines, Iowa, where she is in private practice.
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Table of Contents

Part 1 What It Means

Chapter 1 Out with the Old 3

Chapter 2 I May Be Dumb 13

Chapter 3 Red Flags 31

Part 2 Infatuation

Chapter 4 Nature's Cruel Joke 57

Chapter 5 Hot Sex Here 65

Chapter 6 Mutual Admiration Society 77

Chapter 7 So Much in Common 83

Part 3 Disenchantment

Chapter 8 Bait and Switch 97

Chapter 9 Soap Operas 107

Part 4 Mature Love

Chapter 10 In with the New 123

Chapter 11 Strengths and Virtues 139

Chapter 12 "Down in Front!" 149

Chapter 13 Growing Yourself Up 173

Chapter 14 Extreme Makeovers 195

Chapter 15 …But I'm Not Stupid 215

Chapter 16 The Love We Make 227

Acknowledgments 231

Notes 233

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