Note: 2nd edition. Professionally edited by David Gatewood, Post-Technological Metamagician
Are you a Gnome?
Do you want to be one?
Do you know what one is?
Do you have magical, technical, or any other talent whatsoever? (1)
Do you pine after a non-holographic Omnicron, make design sketches of transmorphic actionable multidimensional exo-robotic systems, create novel subroutines for synthetic intelligences, tinker with Dwarf-proof beard mowers, imagine a grand unified theory of life, the universe, and facial hair, or take apart and modify negentropy cannons for fun and amusement?
Do you like root vegetables?
If you answered yes to one of these questions (2), then you may have what it takes to be a Paratechnologist, a wondrous master of the uniquely Gnomish art of blending magic and technology!
Within this concise guide you will find answers to many of the questions you do not have about becoming a Paratechnologist. (3)
With enlightening topics including Two Wrongs Often Make a Right, What Doesn't Kill You Can Also Maim, Destroy, and Disfigure, Moving Beyond Clockwork Devices, and How to Avoid Mustache Entanglement, Everygnome's Guide to Paratechnology has more information than you care to know about Paratechnology. (4)
If, on the absolutely slim chance you are interested in Gnomish technowizardry (5), then Everygnome's Guide to Paratechnology will be your easily disposed of indispensible guide to embarking upon the often smoldering, explosive, nonsensical, and somewhat erratic path of the Paratechnologist.
Notes to self (and others):
1. Real or imagined.
2. Or any other.
3. Who would?
4. Assuming you actually cared about Paratechnology in the first place.
5. Or are interested in making fun of those who are.
From the Author:
The EA'AE books are guides one might happen upon within the larger multiverse created in the Chronicles of the Fists trilogy... fantasy books giving farcical advice for professions that don't exist (even if we may want for them to... or not).
fantasy, humor, humour, humour, satire, comedy, magic, wizards, sff, science fiction, science fiction, sci-fi, parody, sf, comic fantasy, english, funny, funny, fantasy fiction, fantasy fiction, speculative fiction, comics, tourism, adventure, dragons, american literature, humorous, mmpb, british humor, adult, american authors, death, english literature, gods, humorous fantasy, alternate reality, ya, american fiction, comedic fantasy, fantasy series, humorous fiction, other worlds, pastiche, young adult, alternate universe, contemporary, fantastical, fantasy humor, heroes, magie, mage, parodie, parody, science fantasy, silly, supernatural, sword and sorcery, trolls, trolls, witches, alternate worlds, contemporary fiction, contemporary literature, epic, fate, high fantasy, hilarious, modern fantasy, modern fiction, monsters, mythology, other world, puns, sf/f/h, spoof, stories, 21st century literature, 21st century literature, absurdity, adventures, archetypes, barbarians, brain candy, challenges, children's literature, clever, clowns, collectible, comedic, comic fiction, commentary, companion, computers, cosmology, crazy, creative, d&d, data, debut, demons, daemon, daemons, dwarves, elves, evolution, fairy tales, farce, friendship, genre, genre fiction, gnomes, god, gold, gothic, highly recommended, humorous stories, irony, journey, language, light, mages, magicians, magick, myth, orc, orcs, paranormal, priest, print, saga, sarcasm, satirical, series fiction, ships, short stories, smart, snark, social commentary, social satire, speculative, sword, teen, undead, weird, wired, wizardry, young adult fiction, zombies, ea’ae, chronicles of the fists, Paratechnology, metaphysical, knight, clockwork, steampunk, technowozard, technowizardry, novella, paladin, light, holy, holy sword, Light, Indural, Yeren, Dracodaeran, Dracodin, K’un Lun, Priest, Priests, Priest of K’un Lun, Maeth Onai, fang shi, Bor’Banna, Darkness, Tides of Darkness, Return of the Cabal, Ascension of the Four, Ea’ae, seal, seals, extraplanar, planes, dimensions, extradimensional, supernatural, supramundane, Yip, Aroganji, Wrindanneth, Slate, Spreesprocket, beard, mustache, tome, treatise, Fists, Flaming Fists, Four, the Four, the Fists, faerviage, airship, gate, portal, Tellanon, Illdrassil, yuan qi, yuan-chi, yuan chi, celestial, celestial qi, chi, life, energy of life, one light, ka, dalaren ka, geek, self-help, treatise, tome, guide, superhero, super hero, tropes, rpg, roleplaying, supervillain, supervillains, villain, villains, fun, laughs, tinker, tinkering, science, clockwork, technology, technological, metaphysical, metaphysics, metaphysicist, monk, monks, arcane, divine, abyss, extraplanar, planes, dimensions, extradimensional, supernatural, supramundane
Joe is currently an underapprentice cog polisher, third class. Significant projects include (but are not limited to) an optimized self-mulching Dwarven beard mower, the award-winning Mind Altering Consciousness Expander (MACE), and the class leading Lint Recovering Recycler and Reconstituter (LR3).
Including influences such as Shunryu Suzuki, Tolkien, Krishnamurti, Iain M. Banks, Laozi, Stephen R. Donaldson, Philip Kapleau, Raymond E. Feist, Edward O. Wilson, Dan Simmons, and David Bohm, Joe creates existential fantasy filled with rich worlds, concepts, stories, and ideas.
Joe holds an advanced degree in environmental management from Duke University where he also studied religion with a focus on meditative, experiential, and transformative traditions. Additionally, Joe graduated with (dubious) honors from the Tellanon Institute of Noetic Knowledge, Education, and Research (TINKER) and has yet to put this knowledge to good use.
When not at play with his family, he enjoys reading, writing, and relaxation. When he can, Joe also practices various martial traditions in which he has attained the victim level of proficiency.
In addition to Everygnome’s Guide to Paratechnology, Joe is also the author of the Chronicles of the Fists trilogy and Mulogo’s Treatise on Wizardry. He is also working on something else but really cannot say more on the matter at present.