- Shopping Bag ( 0 items )
Ships from: Chatham, NJ
Usually ships in 1-2 business days
After I Do: Getting It Right the First Time
If you don't want to become just another statistic in studies about divorce, then the two of you need to look at why you married one another, sharpen your coping skills in dealing with stress, treat one another with respect, and make time for one another for both communication and fun. Lasting relationships just don't happen. These marriages require work and they require commitment and dedication.
Looking at Motives for Being Married
Have you questioned yourselves as to why you married? Having an understanding of your reasons for being together can help you both discover areas that the two of you may need to work on both individually and as a couple. So often, while in the wonderful grip of a new romance, practical thoughts can fly out the window. The old adage that "love is blind" is often true. Couples marry and then discover that they didn't know as much about one another as they thought they did.
Wrong Reasons for Marriage
Some couples embark on the marital journey together for the wrong reasons and think love will be enough or that love isn't all that important. Or they marry someone thinking that they can make them change for the "better" in the future.
If you married for sex or because you were lusting after your partner, what happens if a serious medical condition enters your relationship, or the sex becomes boring, or one of you develops a low sex drive? If you married for money, what will you do if the money runs out? If you married because you were lonely, you could find you are still lonely even though you are sitting in the same room with your spouse. If you married for freedom, you could be just as imprisoned in your marriage as you were when you were single. Having a baby with someone doesn't necessarily mean you should marry that person. This is a mistake many young teens make. People can still be good parents and not be married to one another. It's not that you shouldn't want happiness or great sex or financial security in your marriage. Wanting to be free from your parents or having a baby are not wrong either. However, marrying just because you want money or because the two of you are expecting a baby, or because you lust after one another, or because you feel loved will generally lead to major problems later on in your marriage. If you find that you married for the wrong reasons, or if you were too young, don't throw in the towel on your relationship. Talk about it with one another with honesty. Perhaps you will discover that some of the right reasons have entered your marriage. Look at what the two of you can do now to make your relationship stronger and more fulfilling.