Everything I Know about Love I Learned from Romance Novels [NOOK Book]


Take a dashing hero with a heart of gold and a mullet of awesome. Add a heroine with a bustle and the will to kick major butt. Then include enough contrivances to keep them fighting while getting them alone and possibly without key pieces...
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Everything I Know about Love I Learned from Romance Novels

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Take a dashing hero with a heart of gold and a mullet of awesome. Add a heroine with a bustle and the will to kick major butt. Then include enough contrivances to keep them fighting while getting them alone and possibly without key pieces of clothing, and what do you have? A romance novel. What else? Enough lessons about life, love, and everything in between to help you with your own happily-ever-after.

Lessons like...

•Romance means believing you are worthy of a happy ending

•Learning to tell the prince from the frog

•Real-life romance is still alive and kicking

•No matter how bad it is, at least you haven't been kidnapped by a Scottish duke (probably)

Sarah Wendell is cofounder of one of the top romance blogs, SmartBitchesTrashyBooks.com.
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Editorial Reviews

Aisle B
This little book packs a wallop of laughs, spews smart sarcastic rhetoric with sound advise - add to that creative longings to make us dream, and mullets for years to come.
Beck's Book Picks
As a reader and a writer, I think this is a must read...
[Wendell] opens your eyes by connecting romance with everyday life.
Historical Hilarity
A joyous celebration of those novels we all love to read, romances.
In the Hammock
Don't you love it when a book reinforces what you already believe?
Laugh Love Write
Wendell will make you laugh while reprimanding you and shock the socks right off your feet, all with a smile and a no-nonsense manner.
Leslie's Psyche
A fun and insightful look at why romance novels are so popular and have been for decades and how readers can benefit from reading them.
Loves to Read for Fun
A great tribute to romance readers and the genre...
My House of Books
A humorous yet poignant guide to romance, both the highs and lows... a whole lot of fun that ended way too quickly.
Night Owl Reviews
If you ever had anyone sneer at you when you say you read romance novels, this is a book you should whip out and start quoting from.
[Wendell] talks at length about applying the lessons of romance to that real life and enriching it — not to mention, entertaining yourself in the bargain.
Shelf Awareness
Wendell's book is an irreverent celebration of the romance genre and the women who write it and read it.
SOS Aloha
A pleasure to read... It promote[s] the positive elements of romance books.
The Book Girl
A delightful read... humorous and entertaining.
The Book Goat
If you read it through and still come away in any doubt as to how amazing both Romance Novels and the people of the Romance Community truly are, then I do believe your heart and soul and possibly brain may be made of stone. And, if that is the case, then you are in most desperate need of reading one of the books Sarah uses as examples throughout the book.
The Royal Reviews
Witty, funny, and utterly entertaining...
Urban Girl Reader
Filled with short, amusing topics that are lighthearted, insightful and take a look at how romance books have affected readers.
Library Journal
Wendell (coauthor, Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches' Guide to Romance Novels), cofounder of the romance blog Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, has convinced this reviewer: romance novels are not mere frivolities designed to convey guilty pleasure to their devoted readers. Rather, they serve an important educational function, i.e., to teach readers about the vagaries and realities of love and romance. According to Wendell, "Romance novels are both the story of the characters finding each other, and the story of finding themselves deserving of the effort that creating a happy ever after requires." She solicits the opinions of romance aficionados regarding the various lessons they have drawn from their favorite romance novels and argues that, among other uses, romance novels can be effective in teaching adolescents about the nature of love and relationships, enabling such readers to fend off disastrous expectations in their inexperience with romantic partners. VERDICT Readers of romance novels will especially enjoy this engaging book; general readers will appreciate its reflective nature; and it may even cause those who have dismissed romance novels as worthless pabulum to think again.—Lynne F. Maxwell, Villanova Univ. Sch. of Law Lib., PA
Kirkus Reviews

Think romances are about cruel yet dashing men forcing themselves on simpering, virginal women? Or that romance readers are desperate ladies whose most significant relationships are with their cats? Think again.

Wendell's debut, abrief apologia for the romance genre, is winning, entertaining and highly persuasive despite occasional lapses into silliness. The author,co-founder of the popular romance-novel review website "Smart Bitches, Trashy Books," quashes several stereotypes of romance novels and their devoted fans. She argues that the modern romance novel has, for the most part, done away with what she calls "rapetastic assclowns," instead providing women with a model of how to negotiate healthy relationships. Drawing on comments from readers of her website, Wendell makes the case that women learn from romance novels to be assertive and confident, and that more equitable and passionate relationships are the result. Sometimes, these reader comments make up the bulk of the text, giving the book the feel of an extended blog; the author's persistently jokey tone contributes to this as well. However, the snark often works well, like in the sidebar "Six Simple Steps to Looking Like the Quintessential Romance Hero," or in her description of a certain kind of romance hero: "I don't like you, you drive me nuts, I can't stop thinking about your hair, DAMMIT!"

Fans of the romance genre are likely to come away feeling vindicated; newcomers may be inspired to pick up a few new paperbacks with racy covers.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781402254505
  • Publisher: Sourcebooks, Incorporated
  • Publication date: 10/1/2011
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 240
  • Sales rank: 138,873
  • File size: 932 KB

Meet the Author

Sarah Wendell

Sarah Wendell's day job involves a cloak, and possibly a dagger, but by night she's the cofounder of the influential romance blog SmartBitchesTrashyBooks.com. She lives in Montclair, New Jersey, with her husband and two children.

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Read an Excerpt

Romance reading has probably already taught you more than you realize. You might not be kidnapped by cross-dressing pirates and held for ransom, or find yourself outrunning a serial killer with the help of a very handsome, taciturn detective, but you will always find conflict in your relationships, whether it's bills and debt chasing you down a dark alley, or precarious sexual fulfillment lurking in your bedroom.

But fear not. Inside those stories is everything you need to have a happy, loving relationship. From books like Seducing a Sinner and Rescuing the Rake, you can learn about tricky subjects like Valuing Your Emotions and Having Real Conversations about Sex.

Welcome to Everything I Know about Love, I Learned from Romance Novels. In this handy little book, we can celebrate all the wonderful things we've learned about real-life love and romance that are hidden and not-so-hidden inside the average romance novel. What, you thought all those heaving bosom covers with impossibly Technicolor eye shadow were just for visual embarrassment and titillating thrills? Nope. Romance novels are much more complex than meets the eye-and we readers of romance know that better than most.
It's not hard to discount romance, and it's easy to take them way, way less than seriously. After all, there is a 95 percent chance that a romance novel cover will feature a mullet. Enough said.

But romance novels are complex and emotionally driven tales of courtship. And what better way to learn about relationships and how they start, fracture, and become stronger once repaired, than to read about those relationships in many, many permutations and variations? In all the thousands of romances where the boy meets the girl, stuff happens, and they get back together, there are a million-plus possibilities of how to repair what went wrong. And we're going to look at every one, from amnesiac twins and what they can teach us about truthfulness and identity to bank-robbing cowboys and what you can learn from them about bad boys and perhaps avoiding felony charges.

Who am I? And have I robbed a bank? No, not so much. I'm Sarah Wendell, better known as Smart Bitch Sarah from the romance novel website Smart Bitches, Trashy Books. Smart Bitches reviews and discusses romance novels with a readership of many thousands of readers around the world-there are more romance fans than you dare suspect, and we're all very intelligent, fabulous dancers with minty-fresh breath, and as a bonus, we're all quite savvy when it comes to relationships too.

Ironically, many people who disdain the romance genre and look down on the women who read it presume that reading about courtship, emotional fulfillment, and rather fantastic orgasms leads to an unrealistic expectation of real life. If we romance readers are filling our own heads with romantic fantasies, real men and real life won't and cannot possibly measure up to our fairy-tale expectations, right? Wrong. Wrongity wrong wrong wrong. That accusation implies that we don't know the difference between fantasy and real life, and frankly, it's sexist as well. You don't see adult gamers being accused of an inability to discern when one is a human driving a real car and when one is a yellow dinosaur driving a Mario Kart, but romance readers hear about their unrealistic expectations of men almost constantly.

We're going to put that sorry notion away for good. In this book, you'll hear from me and other romance readers and writers as we explain both what we've learned about ourselves and about relationships. Sometimes the fantastical and impossible, such as the space captain with a streak of honor, or the sinking pirate ship populated with crewmen with impeccable manners and perfect teeth, can help translate reality better than any self-help book ever could. When you see your problems blown up into, dare I say, fantasy proportions, your real problems don't look so insurmountable. Fantasy, instead of distorting reality, can help you comprehend your reality.

For example, in many paranormal romances, especially urban fantasies, the fate of the world, if not the fate of the universe, may hinge on whether or not the heroes of the story figure out their pesky relationship problems and beat the bad guy. Their ability to kick ass and to kiss each other are equally important, because if they don't work their shit out, the planet might blow up. Comparing your current difficulty to that level of "OHCRAPNO" might help you gain perspective on how to handle it, and how to stop it from happening again.

This is not to say that problems are not important-they absolutely are. But no one knows better than romance fans that most problems are also very likely fixable with varying applications of hard work and some risks or maybe a righteous smack down with a broadsword and a photon-charged handgun.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 3.5
( 10 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 10 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 28, 2011

    A Must Read!

    In the vein of the SBTB site and Wendell's previous book (with Candy Tan), "Everything I Know about Love I Learned from Romance Novels" was funny, straightforward, and true. I loved the use of the quotes from readers and authors alike. I also very much appreciated the shopping list provided in the back of all the books that were quoted throughout the text; it was quite handy! I would recommend this book to lovers of the genre as well as those who have yet to be convinced.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted June 19, 2012


    Witty and original. A new perspective on romance writing and reading, especially of you aren't a regular romance reader. Clears up some misconceptions about who reads romance.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 28, 2011

    SBTB always awesome

    Candid, moving and hilareous look at the role romance plays in readers' lives

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 8, 2014

    This was terrible. 

    This was terrible. 

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  • Posted February 9, 2014

    more from this reviewer

    Not what I expected

    It was well written, but not what I was expecting.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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    Posted February 24, 2012

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    Posted February 14, 2012

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    Posted November 6, 2011

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    Posted February 22, 2012

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