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Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar
     

Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar

3.2 77
by Kelly Oxford
 

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Kelly Oxford is . . .

A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds

Not the queen of the world

An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher

The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush

A born salesman

Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20

That girl who peed

Overview

Kelly Oxford is . . .

A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds

Not the queen of the world

An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher

The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush

A born salesman

Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20

That girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time

Totally an expert on strep throat

Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend

A writer

A certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes

"Not fat enough to be super snuggly." —Bea, age four

Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to get out of a speeding ticket

"Bitingly funny. But everybody knows that." —Roger Ebert

Sad that David Copperfield doesn't own a falcon

A terrible liar

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
In these disjointed autobiographical essays, L.A.-based writer, Twitter celebrity, and mom Oxford per-forms a flatfooted exercise in pointlessness. Framed by silly dialog with her three children ("Did you write this book to make dough?" eight-year-old Hen asks), Oxford's erratic chapters relay cherished memories from a not-so-long-ago youth: her early attempts to stage a production of Star Wars at her French Canadian immersion school, a first job washing dishes at the popular Schitzelhaus, pot-smoking teenage shenanigans with her best friend Aimee (such as traveling to Las Vegas to meet the about-to-be-a-big-star Leonardo DiCaprio), finding her future husband while working at a diner, and freaking out after becoming a mother in her early twenties without a "backup" secondary degree. Though pithy moments can be found, these stories often succumb to aimlessness. A trip to Las Vegas to meet magician David Copperfield, who provides a gracious reception after becoming a fan of Ox-ford's on Twitter, and a trip to Disneyland with her family prove feeble fodder for hilarity. The humor is wackily contrived, nearly slapstick, possessing little irony, tension, or subtlety. Instead, exclamation points lead the way like a banal laugh track and scatological references seem like a desperate plot for reaction. (Apr.)
The Frisky
Everything Is Perfect When You’re A Liar is personal without being exploitative, smart but utterly unpretentious, and a complete delight to read. I’m not lying when I say this book is damn near perfect.”
Los Angeles Times
“Oxford’s writing is marked by the same wry voice that’s made her a social media sensation.”
Forbes
“[Oxford’s] new book is full of humorous stories about growing up, making mistakes, stalking Leonardo DiCaprio, and braving Disneyland. . . It’s funny but also surprisingly touching. . . a coming-of-age story. . . just a hell of a lot funnier.”
New York Daily News
“Kelly Oxford is the new cool kid in Hollywood. . . [In] Everything is Perfect When You’re A Liar Oxford displays the comic relief that’s been drawing celebrities like Jimmy Kimmel and Jessica Alba to her Twitter feed since 2009.”
Daily Candy
“[Oxford] is one freakin’ funny lady. . . Hilarious.”
Lifestyle Mirror
“Kelly Oxford in 140 characters seems like small doses of a great drug. We want more! Thanks to her new book, we’ve got it.”
Interview
“A hilariously mortifying memoir. . . Oxford plumbs her past for painful moments and turns them into slyly funny stories. . . These vignettes are vulnerable and powerful—they make us feel less freakish by comparison. Effortlessly cool, offbeat, devilish, dramatic Oxford makes sense and smart humor from her adventures.”
E! Online
“[Oxford’s] first book of humorous essays and we can officially confirm: They are indeed humorous.”
HelloGiggles.com
“The anecdotes included in the book will make you love [Oxford] even more than you probably already do, if that’s even possible. Kelly is truly hilarious. . . I couldn’t put this book down – you won’t be able to, either.”
Jason Segel
“Kelly Oxford is one of the funniest writers I have read in a long time.”
Diablo Cody
“Kelly Oxford is a refreshing rarity in a sea of Hollywood suck-ups. She’s hilarious, hot, and the most truthful liar I’ve ever encountered.”
Jonathan Ames
“I’m fascinated by Kelly Oxford. She’s a 21st century public diarist, her story told in shards, brief moments of wit and observation.”
Justin Halpern
“Kelly Oxford has this unbelievable ability to tell stories in that way that makes you laugh without ever shoving jokes in your face. This book is basically an announcement that she’s one of the best humor writers working today.”
Lena Dunham
“Kelly Oxford is like your cool babysitter who teaches you about sex and sarcasm in an un-creepy way. Hanging out with her book makes you wish your parents were always out to dinner.”
Cameron Crowe
“Kelly Oxford is the friend we all deserve-the one who tells us the best secrets, takes us on all the finest adventures, and remembers every hilariously embarrassing detail. Everything Is Perfect is sharply funny, and truly great.”
Time magazine
“With biting wit and always-appreciated humorous self-deprecation, Oxford’s tweets have garnered a huge following .”
Kirkus Reviews
Autobiographical vignettes from Twitter comedian Oxford. These stories fall into roughly three stages of the author's life: obnoxiously precocious childhood, confused young adulthood and parenthood. When Oxford tells us about her childhood and teen years, she doesn't hold back, giving us mortifying stories about wetting herself in a gas station and puking in her friend's father's car before a party. She also comes across as somewhat bratty and entitled. Her young adulthood was appropriately wacky. She flew from Canada to Los Angeles on a whim in a desperate attempt to meet Leonardo DiCaprio and bought, then sold, a dilapidated camper van. When describing her adulthood and parenthood, she grows into her precociousness. "An Open Letter to the Nurse Who Gave Me an Enema Bottle" is entertaining, and the last sentence is genuinely funny and unexpected. "How I Met Your Father" is sweetly raunchy, the kind of story that will horrify her children but delight her grandchildren. As amusing as some of these stories are, Oxford is a mostly unremarkable writer with a remarkable claim to fame: her successful use of Twitter to gain an audience for her humor and writing. Yet this, the most interesting fact about her, receives very little attention in the book. She does share her experience meeting David Copperfield as a result of a Twitter exchange, but the story readers will most likely want to hear--how she got started with Twitter and how her tweets got the attention of significant public figures like Copperfield and Roger Ebert--is absent from the narrative. Alternately grating and amusing, Oxford skips the most interesting part of her life: her canny use of Twitter.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780062102249
Publisher:
HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date:
04/02/2013
Sold by:
HARPERCOLLINS
Format:
NOOK Book
Pages:
336
Sales rank:
162,542
File size:
978 KB

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Meet the Author

 Kelly Oxford, born in Edmonton, Canada, currently lives in Los Angeles with her three children. She is the author of the New York Times bestseller Everything is Perfect When You’re a Liar. You can find her avoiding her book and screen writing on Twitter and Instagram (@kellyoxford). She likes poodles and PBS.

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Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar 3.2 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 77 reviews.
Grody More than 1 year ago
Hilarious. Unlike any book you've ever read. Almost choked to death on my gum because I laughed so hard. Don't chew gum while reading this book.
David_Bremmerton More than 1 year ago
A really good book! Loved the self-deprecating humor. As funny as it is, there are also a fair share of tender moments, even sad ones. Overall an excellent book!
Nadina85 More than 1 year ago
Not so long ago, I posted a discussionary post about success prompted by an article about renown comedy writer, Kelly Oxford. I'm a big fan of hers so when I found out she wrote a book, I knew I had to get my hands on a copy. Oxford has gained legions of fans due to her incredible wit and irreverent observations as showcased on both her blog and Twitter. Personally, I think she's hilarious so I figured her book would reflect that humour quite succinctly. Unfortunately, some of that humour doesn't translate to the page as well as I hoped it would. That's not to say this book isn't funny, because it is, but I found some of the stories to be totally unrelatable, hence---not very funny. The book is broken into individual essays, each one recounting an important moment/event in Oxford's life. Where these little vignettes are exaggerated, they are also disjointed so it makes it a bit hard to follow. You're better off looking at them as separate entities rather than a book. Now some criticize this book for being too crass and narcissistic, but if you follow her on Twitter, you ought to know better! Humble, she is not. Look, it's not easy writing about yourself so I do have to give her credit for being so bold. I will, however, admit that she's made some poor life choices (as chronicled here), ones that I cannot abide. And there were definitely moments where she comes off as an overly privileged, pretty girl. And these are the parts I didn't like. It isn't until she has a serious brush with reality that her tone changes and the book finally becomes endearing. There's depth and humour in it, the kind of humour that I was waiting to see. Everything Is Perfect When You're A Liar isn't the funniest book I've ever read, but there is a note of sincerity towards the end that makes it a decent read. I was hoping for more here but this isn't the first time a funny person wrote a book that left me feeling a little disappointed. Perhaps these types of books aren't for me? Or maybe, just maybe, these funny people should stick to their usual mediums of comedy.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Obnoxious humblebragger.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I don't know if it was my infatuation with KO's story to stardom that led me to begin following her anywhere I could find her on the net. When her book came out I read it 2x. The. First. Week. I laughed until I cried. My 2 year old was probably neglected during my first run through the book. It is absolutely uproarious! Don't read any more reviews. Trust mine. And  not even getting paid to write this. Camile Araujo
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Kelly Oxford is hot and every word she says is wonderful. I highly recommend this book!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Really cheap humor, if you want to call it that. Save your $$.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Couldn't finish it so don't know if it eventually got better.
MicG More than 1 year ago
I both love and fear Kelly Oxford. She is the teen I wished I had the courage to be and the mother of all mothers with her honest wit and touching sentiment. Hysterically funny.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
If Ramona Quimby grew up and wrote a book, this would be it.   It was funny all the way through, but the chapter titled (something like) "I peed my pants and puked on a Chinese man" was the funniest thing I have EVER read.  I literally woke both my husband AND my four-year-old son because I could NOT stop laughing hysterically.  I was crying and got a belly ache laughing at that chapter!   It is not literature.  If you get uptight about language or prudish in any way, this may not be for you (get a life, by the way).  It is a look at the silly situations we sometimes put ourselves in... I could identify with most of them on some level.   I don't care if it is fact or fiction - it is funny and entertaining.  Perfect for the beach or a sleepless night.  ENJOY!  :) 
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is in my top 5
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Uninspired ramblings from an untalented author and comedian.
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I would give this a zero if I could. total dribble. This lady is further proof that a good twitter feed doesn't mean talent in other arenas like writing and storytelling.  and sorry previous reviewer, but she isn't even hot. Seriously. She looks like a neo-nazi with a pig nose. And if you dig a little you'll see that she does have a history of discrimination against those of a certain religion...
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Very fresh and funny. Love Kelly Oxford.
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Clever writing. I absolutely love a book so full of realness that it makes me laugh out loud in the most inappropriate places!
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