Excuse Me?! (The Life of a Special Ed. Teacher)

Excuse Me?! (The Life of a Special Ed. Teacher)

5.0 11
by Patrick Wallace
     
 

The year was 2005, the place was my brother's patio, and much like his golden retriever, I was impatiently waiting for something to drop from the BBQ. I made a grab for some of the carne asada that was taunting me on the grill. My brother glared at me. "If you do that again, I swear I'll lop off a finger." I tried to imagine my hand minus a pinky and figured that

Overview

The year was 2005, the place was my brother's patio, and much like his golden retriever, I was impatiently waiting for something to drop from the BBQ. I made a grab for some of the carne asada that was taunting me on the grill. My brother glared at me. "If you do that again, I swear I'll lop off a finger." I tried to imagine my hand minus a pinky and figured that it probably wasn't worth it. I went over to the liqueur cabinet and wondered if a tequila, vodka and lemonade would taste good. My nephew came up from behind and asked, "Uncle Pat, why did you become a special ed. teacher?" I thought to myself, "Boy, if I had a dollar for every time someone asked me that…I'd have like 53 dollars."

Flash forward to a Christmas party later that year; my buddy's wife asked if my students had done anything funny recently. Answering her meant that I had to stop eating the delicious seven layer bean dip, but since she made it, I figured it was only fair. I told her about an incident that happened just before the break. We were reading about the Civil War when one of my girls interrupted the lecture. She snapped, "I just want to let you know that I got into a fight with my dad this morning and I don't want to talk about it!" I paused and said, "Gee, that's too bad. If you want to discuss it later just let me know." "Shit, didn't you hear me? I said I don't want to talk about it!" She threw her book on the ground, tipped her chair over and then stormed out of the classroom.

I told my friend's wife that there are days when I feel like I'm on that TV show Punk'd. I just keep waiting for Ashton Kutcher to bust into my room and tell me that he "got me good" and that I should have "seen the look on my face". (But since I'm not famous, I'm not really sure why Ashton is "punking" me. Oh well.)

If you've ever wondered what makes a special education teacher tick or what happens inside the classroom, then this is the book for you!

Product Details

ISBN-13:
2940011243097
Publisher:
Patrick Wallace
Publication date:
03/15/2011
Sold by:
Smashwords
Format:
NOOK Book
Sales rank:
459,955
File size:
98 KB
Age Range:
18 Years

Meet the Author

Born and Raised: California Education: UCSB - B.A. in Psychology Pepperdine - M.A. in Education Loves - Family & friends, tacos, soccer, naps, concerts, laughing & animals. Hates - Mean people, soccer injuries, rudeness & long lines. Memories - Soccer trophies, Dodger games with dad, skiing with mom, 2 years at Club Med, summers at Cottontail Ranch & honeymoon in Mexico. Bucket List - Ireland & Italy, Going to World Cup & the perfect Martini. Write me at: summerjet@hotmail.com

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Excuse Me?! (The Life of a Special Ed. Teacher) 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 11 reviews.
RaniPJ More than 1 year ago
I enjoyed this book in particular for its politically correct approach. I applaud the author for writing a story complete with freedom of speech and purged from the influence of its flawed society. The results are extremely funny! The story is short and easily digestible, full of wit and engaging knack for irony. This is a must read!
ronwalton More than 1 year ago
Wallace said that this will be the only book he writes but I hope he changes his mind. I can see how his political views might ruffle some feathers but isn't he right?
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I always had respect for teachers but this sheds a whole new light on the profession. Wallace gives us a look into the classroom and into our society. Funny stuff!
elizabeth778 More than 1 year ago
Sooo politically incorrect and yet sooo funny! It's a fun read.glad I bought it!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great short book! I also happen to work in this field, ( spec. ed) and his stories are completely relatable. Some of the author's words need to be quoted on posters! Haha. Hope you write more, Mr.Wallace. I'll read it! LOL'ed through the whole book....and nodded in frustrated agreement in many chapters, too.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The Anecdotes Mr. Wallace re-accounts are both humorous and touching. I loved how he pits his true life experiences against the backdrop of the politically correct (fantasy) environment he, and others, are forced to accomodate. I laughed out loud at some of his tales... I highly recommend his book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
A great read. We need more teachers like this guy. I think Wallace speaks for a lot of teachers out there. A cool look at his journey from start to finish!
mary-ellen More than 1 year ago
A great insight into today's special education classroom. It is funny but also very poignant and touching in spots. I hope he writes a second book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is sooo funny. As a teacher I can totally relate. Do yourself a favor and read it.