F U, Penguin: Telling Cute Animals What's What

( 36 )

Overview

Attention, all you clumsy pandas, lovable puffins, huggable bunnies, and penguins that elicit ooohs and aaahs: The jig is up! We have lived under your furry fists for too long.

There is a cute and present danger lurking out there–in the wild, in the zoos, and sometimes even in our very own homes. Spurred on by the Cute Industrial Complex, these cuddly animals have taken over blockbuster films, inspirational posters, and computer desktops ...

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F U, Penguin: Telling Cute Animals What's What

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Overview

Attention, all you clumsy pandas, lovable puffins, huggable bunnies, and penguins that elicit ooohs and aaahs: The jig is up! We have lived under your furry fists for too long.

There is a cute and present danger lurking out there–in the wild, in the zoos, and sometimes even in our very own homes. Spurred on by the Cute Industrial Complex, these cuddly animals have taken over blockbuster films, inspirational posters, and computer desktops everywhere, further weakening the innocent civilians who are beguiled by these fuzzy frauds.

But you are stronger than them, aren’t you? Those soft bellies and wet noses are no match for you–and their free ride has just come to an end.

F U, Penguin is the rallying cry for those who choose to fight these power-hungry cute-mongers. Loaded with color photographs and hilarious commentary, this book will have you laughing out loud while it simultaneously saves you from the tragic fate of tossing yarn with big-eyed kittens and bottle-nursing baby pandas forever.

___________________________

"Finally, a book for the rest of us! Most animals go about our business without playing to the audience like the elitists exposed in these chapters.I wasn't sure how many more times I could hear about those great penguins and pandas and kittens before I started eating people... well, more people, anyway."—Jerry the Shark

"Penguins killed my parents, and they would not hesitate to kill me. I thank the Crustacean God for Matthew Gasteier, a true saint and a decent human being in a world filled with heartless penguin accomplices."—Dennis the Krill

"It's all true. We're the worst."—Anonymous Penguin

"The average dolphin is far beyond this level of vulgarity, but I could see how this would be a very enjoyable book for humans. I should remember to hand these out to some of my slower relatives at the common ancestor reunion."—Edward the Dolphin

"Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this style of book is not something we are currently looking for. However, we wish you the best of luck with your human publishers!"—Danielle the Bear, Editor-in-Chief, Random Cave Publishing

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
“[F U, Penguin] takes a long, hard look at superadorable puppies, monkeys, sloths, and moose–and tells them, in no uncertain terms, to get f–ed. Needless to say, it’s our new favorite website.”—Very Short List

“Cuddly animals get their comeuppance.”—Associated Press

“[The blog] is the ultimate antidote to puppycams.”—Wired magazine

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780345518163
  • Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 8/25/2009
  • Edition description: Original
  • Pages: 240
  • Sales rank: 614,909
  • Product dimensions: 6.22 (w) x 9.16 (h) x 0.53 (d)

Meet the Author

Matthew Gasteier is the creator of the popular blog, fupenguin.com, which is the basis for this book. He lives in Watertown, Massachusetts. Some of his best friends are penguins.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 3.5
( 36 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(19)

4 Star

(4)

3 Star

(2)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(11)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 36 Customer Reviews
  • Posted September 9, 2011

    Hilarious

    Laugh-out -loud funny book in which the author takes a stab at people who idolize cute animals! Strong language used however, as seen in the title, and i think that it would still be funny even without the language.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted September 8, 2011

    No way!!!!!!!!!

    So cute. this mother f**kin athor is bad.the animals are actually cute, and some are struggeling to live!!!!screw this book, and the author too.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted July 31, 2011

    This is so funny

    This is the funny ist thing in the world

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 17, 2014

    Boooooooo!!!!

    The sample has bad words in it dont get it please

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 3, 2014

    II ITS SO FUNNY!

    I had this book but I lost it, and now with a nook I can possibly get it again! But back to the matter at hand. This is a must have story. As you can see above I rated it 5/5 stars. I DID THAT FOR A REASON!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 23, 2014

    Horrible

    Bad langage and very inapropriate for all ages. :(

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 7, 2014

    Loved and loaned...

    Love this book, especially on stressful days.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 18, 2013

    SUPER-GIRL to February 19th

    Hahaha "Stupid book." You say...
    I say its stupid people wasting their time to get a quick buck.
    This is a innapproprite book and those of you who liked it...
    Ya'll got sick minds.

    ~Charlotte~

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 26, 2013

    Book

    THIS DUDE IS A MONSTER HE IS TEACHING PEEPS TO HATE ANIMALS HE IS WORSE THAN SUNSETSHIMMER AND SHE IS BAD!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 19, 2013

    Over it

    Stupid book

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 25, 2012

    Horable

    This book is teaching peaple that cuteanimals struggling to servive are bad it is just horable:(

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 31, 2011

    Bad

    Really....no! Ive only read the sample.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted September 12, 2011

    Oooops

    Ispet his name wrong but I am stiil going to call him that

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted August 10, 2011

    Awsome

    I liked it its as good as people say it is telling animal whats what like peguins need to walk right and stop jumping of huge pieces of ice ,they mmust want to fly or try to kill themselves

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted February 1, 2011

    What the heck.

    Who writes that as the title!

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 12, 2014

    LAUGH OUT LOUD FUNNINESS!!!!

    I have never read a more sarcastic, funny book. I'm jealous of cute animals, and I HATE HATE HATE penguins especially baby ones who get attention. THEY AREN'T EVEN CUTE THEY LOOK LIKE ASIANS. SERIOUSLY LOOKIT THE ONE ON THE COVER HES FROM ASIA.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 5, 2013

    -

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 7, 2012

    No Way

    He is puttung a bad reputation on cute snuggly animals I only read the sample but still it puts a reputation on all animals even though it is ffocused on a cute snuggley penguin....If i had to rate this vbook from a zero to ten aspect it would definitelt be a ZERO!!!

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 6, 2012

    Kittycat

    Its the 14 result

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 4, 2012

    Vshsuw

    Gehw

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 36 Customer Reviews

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