4.9 8
by Alan MacDonald

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Wherever Bertie goes, chaos follows, and this trio of stories is no exception. Join Bertie as he attempts to prove the grumpy school custodian is a vampire, finds himself modeling the latest fashions, and gets a serious "scare-cut" at the barbers.


Wherever Bertie goes, chaos follows, and this trio of stories is no exception. Join Bertie as he attempts to prove the grumpy school custodian is a vampire, finds himself modeling the latest fashions, and gets a serious "scare-cut" at the barbers.

Editorial Reviews

Children's Literature - Vicki Foote
Three humorous stories about Dirty Bertie tell of his misadventures at home and school. In the first story, "Fangs!" Bertie suspects that school janitor Mr. Grouch is really a vampire, so he sneaks behind the man's shed to spy on him. Bertie thinks he is drinking blood, and this assumptions leads to more hijinks as Bertie goes about trying to prove to his teacher that Mr. Grouch is really a vampire. In the second episode, "Hairy!" Bertie finds out that he must get a haircut, even though he always likes his hair to be scruffy and messy. When he realizes that he has to go to the barber who makes his friends look like "hedgehogs," he knows that he must find a way out of it. After several futile attempts, he manages to get his friend Eugene to cut his hair instead. He then tricks the barber into cutting his dad's hair. In "Fashion!" Bertie goes shopping with his mom, gets lost, and finds himself mistakenly identified as a model in a fashion show at the department store. Bertie eventually escapes on a skateboard, and soon all is well as he and his mom are reunited. Black-and-white cartoon illustrations add interest and amusement to the wackiness of the stories. This book in the "Dirty Bertie" series is suitable for those who are beginning to read chapter books. Reviewer: Vicki Foote

Product Details

Capstone Press
Publication date:
Dirty Bertie
Sold by:
Barnes & Noble
File size:
7 MB
Age Range:
6 - 8 Years

Meet the Author

When he was young, Alan MacDonald dreamed of becoming a professional soccer player, but when he won a pen in a writing competition, his fate was sealed. Alan is now a successful author and television writer and has written several award-winning children’s books, which have been translated into many languages.
David Roberts worked as a fashion illustrator in Hong Kong before turning to children’s books. He has worked with a long list of writers, including Philip Ardagh, Georgia Byng, Carol Ann Duffy, and the Children’s Laureate, Julia Donaldson. David has also won a gold award in the Nestle Children’s Book Prize for Mouse Noses On Toast in 2006, and was shortlisted for the 2010 CILIP Kate Greenaway medal for The Dunderheads.

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Fangs! 4.9 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 8 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Name: hrm. Midnight. Gender: female. Mate/kits/crush: no. Appearance: **wolf** Midnight black fur and bright green eyes. **human**long black hair and bright green eyes. About 5'01".
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Name:Riona CresentMoon/ Age:14/ Rank:Fighter/ Looks:Human; 5ft.9, pale skin with rosey cheeks, blue-green eyes, curvy but on the slimmer side Wolf; white fur, blue-green eyes, moves very gracefully which make me a stealthy fighter and hunter/ Personality:Creative, intelegent, kind, loyal, brave, a bit sassy, and slightly sarcastic/ Mate/Pups:Looking for a mate and has no pups/ History:I have no family and had to learn to take care myself. What I do know about my family is that my dad was a werewolf and my mom was a human but they had me unexpectedly and just dumped me in the woods of Colorado when I was three. Some how I survived and because of my lack of anyone around me and teaching myself how to survive that young, I Changed early. I was about nine when it happened. I found this pack and hoped that I would fit in, so here I am/ Likes:Swimming and eating moose (I could live on the stuff!)/ Dislikes:Attention-hoggers, sterotypes, and judgers/ Other:Just ask
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Name &#9788 Ruby <p> Age/birthday &#9788 16, July 17 <p> rank &#9788 Betess <p> gender &#9788 female <p> appearance &#9788 human form - ginger hair, red shirt and hoodie, jeans, green eyes. Wolf form - ginger fur, greenish greyish eyes <p> characteristics/personalitys &#9788 clever, quick, nice, nimble, agile, curious <p> theme song &#9788 Counting Stars by Onerepublic <p> anything else just ask!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
N&alpha<_>me &star Jason<br>Nic&kappa<_>name &starf Jaz<br>Ra&eta<_>k &star Beta<br>Ag&epsilon &starf 16<br>&rarr B&iota<_>rthday &star October 31<br>Gen&delta<_>er &starf &male Virile<br>Ap&rho<_>earance &star<br>&rarr H&upsilon<_>man &clubs l am rather tall, six foot, with long, straight black hair. It reaches midway down my back. I hate haircuts. My eyes are the same black as my hair. Sweats and a muscle shirt are my usual attire. Some have told me l have a nice chest, but l don't see it.<br>&rarr W&sigma<_>lf &spades My fur is black as my human hair and my eyes are also the same colour. My body is larger than the average werewolf, and way larger than a normal wolf. It's all muscle.<br>Personali&tau<_>y &starf l am not exactly outgoing, but l'm definitely not shy. I do, however, tend to stick to myself and close friends. I can be brave and l am very intelligent. I love to pull a prank whenever a good opportunity comes about.<br>F&alpha<_>mily &star l do not know them. Orphan.<br>Cr&upsilon<_>sh &starf As of now, no<br>Ma&tau<_>e &star hmf<br>Pu&rho<_>s &starf take a wild guess...<br>History &star l was born a werewolf, but abandoned by my mother. My father, l was told, was never around anyway. Going through the change for the first time, without guidance, nearly killed me and l stayed in wolf form for days. Months later, when l finally understood what was happening to me, l started to withdraw from society, but my ex-girlfriend refused to see me go and followed me one night. I bit her. She died that night because of my inability to protect her from myself. I wear her necklace as a remembrance. I vowed to find a place to settle where it was safe. Where l could honour her memory and keep control.<br>Lik&epsilon<_>s &starf unknown<br>D&iota<_>slikes &star unknown<br>Themesongs &starf<br>&rarr Last Resort, Papa Roach<br>&rarr Welcome to My Life, Simple Plan<br>&rarr Jenny, Nothing More<br>&rarr Nobody Praying for me, Seether<br>&rarr Take Your Time, Sam Hunt<br>Siggie &star &#8643 &beta&#8797T&#8704 &#8623 &image&#1076s&#9679&#1080 &#8638<br>Rp'r &starf ~Light&beta<_>lood/L&beta<br>Activity &star summer-10 school-7<br>Other &starf l am practically always on. Except weekends get crazy when my parents are home. Especially Sundays. When l'm not rp'ing, l write or work on the Pact Clans, especially during the slow times so that's why l'm sometimes not going to be around. I also suffer from migraines. So some nights it is physically impossible to do anything. I always type in first person. It's easier to me. If you wish to read my stories, l'm setting up a directory sort of thing at 'night fallen' if you want to find them. Amongst other stuff. Alrght, l think l got everything. Peace! Wait, l also on occasion say something in French. Use a translator if you want to know what l said. Mdr, however, is short French for 'lol' essentially. Now, done. Bai!<br><br><br>&#8643 &beta&#8707T&#8704 &#8623 &image&#1076s&#9679&#1080 &#8638<br><br><br><br>Please click the [ X ] now. Merci! Over and Outt.<br>~Light&beta<_>lood/L&beta
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Name- Yikes, ya blind? <p> Age- 18 <p> Appearance ( Wolf )- She is light gray with silver underbelly and muzzle. Sh has icy blue eyes and black ears <p> Crush- Eek, pretty obvious. The Alpha! Trenton in other words! <p> Mate- Derp, Trenton <p> Appearance ( Human )- Blonde hair with bright green eyes an paler skin. Normally wears her hair up in a braid bun with a blue clip. For Aparel she wears a pale blue spaghetti strap and short white shorts <p> Pups- Hoping soon! <p> Theme Song- Busted Heart by For King and Country <p> Siggy- *Mind Beeing Blown* &alpha<_>lphess &omega<_>illow
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
No well continue tommorow
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I went to go visit my family and they were butally murdered
Anonymous More than 1 year ago