Fat Vampire [NOOK Book]

Overview

PRAISE FOR FAT VAMPIRE

"Truly original and a very fun, witty take on the "done to death" vampire story."

"If Eric Northman ever gets staked, Reginald Baskin will be my new favorite vampire."

"Got the book just before bed... Next thing I knew it was the wee hours of the night... It was impossible to put down."

+++++

When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn't make fun of him, it's just his own bad ...

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Fat Vampire

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Overview

PRAISE FOR FAT VAMPIRE

"Truly original and a very fun, witty take on the "done to death" vampire story."

"If Eric Northman ever gets staked, Reginald Baskin will be my new favorite vampire."

"Got the book just before bed... Next thing I knew it was the wee hours of the night... It was impossible to put down."

+++++

When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn't make fun of him, it's just his own bad luck that tech guy Maurice turns out to be a two thousand-year-old vampire.

And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.

As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire -- too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead -- he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have… and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race.

Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes.

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Product Details

  • BN ID: 2940044415652
  • Publisher: Johnny B. Truant
  • Publication date: 3/30/2013
  • Sold by: Smashwords
  • Format: eBook
  • Sales rank: 19,300
  • File size: 197 KB

Meet the Author

Johnny B. Truant blogs about entrepreneurship and human potential at JohnnyBTruant.com and is a regular contributor to premier business blogs Copyblogger and Problogger. He’s also the director and MC of the Virtual Ticket program for Blogworld (the world’s preeminent new media conference) and co-hosts the Self Publishing Podcast at SelfPublishingPodcast.com.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 39 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(25)

4 Star

(8)

3 Star

(3)

2 Star

(1)

1 Star

(2)

Your Rating:

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 39 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 25, 2013

    Surprise!

    400 pages. Ok, it drug a bit at first. I kept going and it got better! Poor Reginald, turned into a vampire and still fat and not all that attractive. What he didn't gain in looks, he gained in smarts and uses it to full ability. This is going to be a 6 book series. Im down for it, ready for book 2. This series isn't Twilight, so don't look for that. A bit depressing, failure as a guy and as a vampire will do that. I expected little or nothing from this book and got a funny new twist on the subject of vampires. Evidently, they are not perfect either. Give this book a try. I did and Im looking forward to book 2. Oh, and no sparkles!

    8 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 17, 2013

    So good!

    I didn't expect much from this free book but I gotta say it had me since the first chapter. It was funny, hilarious, visual and different. I'm not someone who's into vampires but I enjoyed reading this different take in a unique vampire. I enjoyed the writing style very much. I will say that when it ended it was quite a cliffhanger, I was left disappointed in the night and the next morning bought the rest of the series. If you are in the mood for a humourous book with a different take of vampires, get this one! You won't be disappointed. I just started book 2 and I'm plowing through it.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 29, 2014

    Loved it

    Incredibly well written and entertaining

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 13, 2014

    Laughed my ass off

    This book wouldnt let go to sleep until i had finished resding it. So hilarious. Havent had a really good laugh like this in a long time. Will get the boxed set adap!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 5, 2014

    I bought this book in July of last year. I read two pages and th

    I bought this book in July of last year. I read two pages and then jumped to another book. Not sure why now probably a over flow of vampire books.

    The other day I was working my twitter account in prep for my future book (shameless plug) when I saw a tweet about the author and remembered the book I bought but did not remember finishing it so I cracked it back open and started it again.

    The name says it all and I expected to laugh which I did. Feeding time does not go well. LOL! What I was not expecting was to get hooked in. The writing was good and the characters draw you in and get you interested in how things will play out. Gotta love Claire.

    So now I am left with little choice but to get the Big Fat Box Set. That's right it is not a typo. Damn it!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 28, 2013

    Absolutely loved this book!  Wasn't expecting much, but I found

    Absolutely loved this book!  Wasn't expecting much, but I found it very enjoyable, and funny!  " Come down here.  Look in my eyes", 
    This got me right there, best part of the book, laughed at this all day long!  Won't tell you more, let you  find out for yourselves.  Hope
    all enjoy Reginald, I sure did....  

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 12, 2015

    It¿s hard to believe that a vampire can be fat. Normally they¿re

    It’s hard to believe that a vampire can be fat. Normally they’re supposed to be intoxicatingly beautiful, even with the pale skin and all. But, technically, you are how you died.


    Reginald has always been fat and has always been teased for it. Then something about the sword-wielding Goth kid seems fascinating. And that’s when things start to change.


    Story started out fine with some wit along with that dry office humor. I was intrigued by the concept and was looking forward to a few chuckles by the sound of it, but the story was mediocre and banal. It was great that Reginald was cool with being a vampire, but then Maurice takes him to school on Vampire 101. Boring.


    The whole thing pretty much focuses on Reginald’s fatness. It does suck to be undead AND fat. On top of it, he still has to go to work?!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 29, 2015

    Spring now for the whole series!

    Will keep you captive for the entire series, humor, action, Sci fi, romance all in a 350 lb package!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 9, 2015

    Not your average vampire story

    Definitely a fast and fun read. Love the twists! Looking forward to the next one!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 22, 2015

    Yaas!!!!

    I enjoyed this book it was cute and funny. At first i thought it was boring but then i just kept reading it anyways. I like the idea of the story because when i read other paranormal books about vampires i always thought about what would happen if there was a fat vampire so when i found this resently i had to read it.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 14, 2015

    PKC

    Not your mother's vampire. Reginald was the fat kid and fat adult everyone picked on. Imagine his horror when even as a creature of the night he got no respect. You'll laugh at his exploits, but also empathisize with him and cheer him on.definitely a fun read.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 19, 2014

    Finally..something different!

    I loved this. The protagonist is no Edward! Give this a try!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 1, 2014

    This book rocks

    I love this book ! Funny as hell , a vampire for those of us who do not look like a super model.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 28, 2014

    UGH!!!!!!!!!!

    Worst book I have tried to read and guickly deleted from my nook.... I will stick authors that I know!! It had sick, filthy language, that turned my stomach... Read at your own peril, I want read any more by this author....

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 8, 2014

    Cassie to Sausha

    Hey Im Cassie.Want to chat

    0 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 8, 2014

    TAPP MEE

    This was one o my first books i got and i got my nook last year
    it was a slow read i probibly got a little past chapter two so when i tried to jump aroung a few pages i got really comfused so try and read it all the way throuh then you might like it....
    P.s does any one want to start a chat on this book is so state your na.e to Sausha then we chat
    OH. MY. GERD DO I TALK ALOUT OR S IT JUST MEE

    I LIKE TUWRTLES
    HAHA IM MESMERIZING

    0 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted June 17, 2014

    Love the unconventional hero * Book source ~ Picked up for free

    Love the unconventional hero

    * Book source ~ Picked up for free on Amazon.

    Reginald Baskin is an overweight treadmill company office worker who spends his days trapped in cubicle hell. Working with a bunch of jerks who think it’s fun to bully the fat guy, Reginald just wants to get through his days with a minimum of whoopee cushions and fat jokes. There are a few others who are like him, the ones who are outside the clique of fit and snobby employees and there’s one young-looking Goth IT guy who wears a sword on his belt and works nights that Reginald is sort of fascinated with and he’s not sure why. One morning when their paths cross Reginald says, “Hey” and Maurice says, “Hey” in return. This simple hello eventually progresses to a guys evening out for some bowling, but before they can have some fun some of Maurice’s buddies show up and Reginald’s life changes forever. Who knew vampires were real? And that they don’t get all beautiful and sparkly when they become one? Reginald just can’t catch a break. Or can he?

    The writing is smooth and easy to fall into. I devoured it any chance I had to sit down and pick it up. The plot is excellent. Poor Reginald. I love this guy. He’s 350 lbs and works for a company that sells exercise equipment. To top it off he has some really asshat co-workers though there are a few others in this story who are great characters. This book brought many of my emotions to the table. Anger at the asshats, frustration that Reginald put up with them, humor at a lot of his thoughts and then at some of his vampire situations, despair, pity, annoyance, surprise, more anger and hopelessness before finally busting out in hope and pride. Reginald rocks! I can’t wait to read more about his adventures as a vampire.

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  • Posted June 12, 2014

    I picked up the first book in the series many months ago, but it

    I picked up the first book in the series many months ago, but it didn't interest me. I read the Unicorn Western saga by the author, and I loved that, so I decided to go back and give this one a try. I also had a review copy of the audiobook, so I listened and read this simultaneously. 

    I enjoyed the story. I thought it was just going to be your typical parody, but it was fresh, original, and hilarious---probably one of the few stories this year that actually made me laugh out loud while reading. It was well-thought out and plotted, and there were some great character development moments in the story. It's definitely a parody in every sense of the word, but it's much, much deeper than you think. 

    I won't give too much away, but I thought the story was excellent. I wasn't sold on the final battle, though. During the final reveal I felt like I had missed something. But the ending made sense and I do want to know what happens. 

    I'm excited to read Book 2, and I would recommend this to anyone who likes the author's previous work, or who are willing to give him a try. This is a good first read. 

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  • Posted March 19, 2014

    more from this reviewer

    I have to say that this book was hilarious, smart and just plain

    I have to say that this book was hilarious, smart and just plain good. Reginald is a fat vampire who has to deal with more than his fair share of problems. I loved the characters and the writing style. I would recommend this to anyone who enjoys the lighter side of the paranormal genre.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 26, 2014

    Best story I've read in a long time

    I don't always give five stars, but when I do, I prefer my stories to look like this. It has everyting: well placed humor, unexpected but not improbable twists, angst, love, and character development. And if that wasn't enough, he does it so succintly that I wonder why boooks need to be 200-300 pages in the first place. Loved every minute. I hope the next installment blows me away just as much.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 39 Customer Reviews

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