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Fatfingers [NOOK Book]

Overview

In 1754 Emil ?Fatfingers? Gaspard was a struggling carpenter in Arcadia, Nova Scotia. That year the British, in that tasteless manner so prevalent among conquerors and empire builders, decreed that all French people had to leave the province. The Brits thought they were doing their own English settlers a big favor, but were actually condemning them to centuries of bad food and insipid color schemes. There were many other negative effects of this policy, the poem ?Evangeline? being only the first that springs to ...
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Fatfingers

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Overview

In 1754 Emil “Fatfingers” Gaspard was a struggling carpenter in Arcadia, Nova Scotia. That year the British, in that tasteless manner so prevalent among conquerors and empire builders, decreed that all French people had to leave the province. The Brits thought they were doing their own English settlers a big favor, but were actually condemning them to centuries of bad food and insipid color schemes. There were many other negative effects of this policy, the poem “Evangeline” being only the first that springs to mind. The French, with heavy hearts, moved to New Orleans. The hearts of Emil and his family were heavier than most, because when the ship had touched at Haiti, Emil had gotten drunk and traded all his carpentry tools for a sack of onions and garlic. However, it must be admitted that Emil was not all that great a carpenter when he did have tools. (They called him Fatfingers because his digits were perpetually swollen from misplaced hammer-blows.) Right away in New Orleans they noticed a couple of things: Rather than just the cod and haddock they were used to, the nearby waters were a teeming bouillabaisse of catfish and shrimp, crayfish and crabs, turtles, mussels, and the occasional English tourist. The other thing was that the original settlers had, with typical Gallic impetuosity, immigrated with their good clothes and left their recipe books and seasonings behind in Europe. On these few chance circumstances a culinary dynasty was built. Emil and his friends were soon hard at work, insulting health inspectors, and setting food critics adrift in small boats, not to mention the very necessary smuggling of foodstuffs. Emil, formerly a pariah in colonies up and down the English Coast, at last found reason to take a stand and became a valuable member of his community. He also found a dexterity with the whisk and the knife he had never known he possessed, and his fingers soon returned to normal size.
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Editorial Reviews

L. Gregory Graham
This story is a romp through an unsettled period that rings truer in this book than it does in the history books.
Richard Derus
It will repay you several times over the purchase price in the sheer pleasure of reading this cajun version of Candide.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780578057743
  • Publisher: Good Ink Books
  • Publication date: 10/11/2010
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 359
  • File size: 187 KB

Meet the Author

Born on a mountaintop in Chicopee Falls. Left home to play saxophone in the Boston subway. Successful busking, though, requires the sort of devil-may-care approach to interpersonal relations of which Charles was entirely incapable. He played like an angel, but no one stopped. On an inspiration, he wrote down the details of a previous existence and set out to find an agent. Many months passed. Many boxes of saltines were consumed. finally though, he was rewarded with a publishing contract and the world was his oyster. Soon enough the young author had blown all his earnings on cheap booze and donuts.
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Customer Reviews

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Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Posted March 18, 2011

    more from this reviewer

    Darkly funny, extremely entertaining!

    Open the cover and hold on to your beret, Charlie White's FATFINGERS is a roller coaster of action, irony, and dark humor that will have you flipping the pages faster than a phonebook in a hurricane.


    The beginning of the story introduces us to Etienne, perhaps the world's unluckiest carpenter, and his nemesis, the completely unlikable Thomas Cudgel. Their two paths will intertwine across the new world, with diabolical and sometimes hilarious results. Along the way they will cross paths with a smuggler, several pirates, a torture specialist, and a horde of Spanish prostitutes. There will be swordplay, guns, boarding actions, hand to hand combat, and some really excellent sandwiches. Blood will be spilt, beer will be drunk, and someone will get married. Action, chaos, and excitement abound!


    The author is a master of his craft, with a unique style that weaves action, irony, and well placed dialogue at just the right moment for humor. Long, flowing sentences draw the reader in to the action, which is then punctuated with a three or four word sentence that sends the reader into laughter with its absurdity.


    I had to reread a few parts just to make sure I was following all the twists and turns, but the end result was a very exciting, enjoyable, entertaining read that I would recommend to just about all fiction lovers.

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