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Anyone who cares about fatherhood and parenting, anyone interested in the legal and emotional issues that divide fathers from children, anyone viewing fatherhood from the perspective of a journalist, social worker, or lawmaker, ...
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Anyone who cares about fatherhood and parenting, anyone interested in the legal and emotional issues that divide fathers from children, anyone viewing fatherhood from the perspective of a journalist, social worker, or lawmaker, and especially any single, married, or divorced parent needs to read Dr. Warren Farrell's thoughtful and challenging book.
|The Quietest Revolution||1|
|Part 1||What's Missing When Dad's Missing?|
|1||Why Dad Is Crucial||29|
|The Impact of Dad||29|
|The Impact of Shared Parent Time (or Joint Physical Custody)||40|
|If Shared Parent Time Isn't in the Cards, Are Children Better Off with Their Mom, or with Their Dad?||41|
|Do Boys Do Better with Dads and Girls with Moms?||48|
|The Impact of a Stepparent||49|
|The Impact of Moving the Child Away from the Non-Resident Parent||51|
|2||Is There a Mothering Instinct? A Fathering Instinct? And What Does It All Mean for Our Kids?||55|
|Exactly What Do Fathers Do with Children That's Different from What Mothers Do?||55|
|3||Are Dads More Likely to Abuse?||75|
|Are Fathers Often Being Falsely Accused of Sexual Abuse?||78|
|Is Our Belief in the Superiority of Mothers Related to Our Adopting the Female Definitions of Sexual Abuse?||84|
|4||What Prevents Dads from Being Involved?||87|
|The Dads Themselves||87|
|Next Time You See a Full-Time Dad in a Movie, Notice This Formula||91|
|How Our Discrimination Against Men's Style of Nurturing Keeps Men from Children||95|
|The Badmouthing Barrier||106|
|5||Toward the Best Interests of Everyone...||111|
|Is the "Best Interests of the Child" Theory in the Best Interests of the Child?||111|
|Paying Men to Stay, Not to Go Away ...||112|
|What Every Dad Can Do (and Mom, Too)||118|
|Part 2||The Politics of Bringing Dad Home Again: The Feminism That Was|
|6||Men's ABC Rights||127|
|Men's ABC Rights and Responsibilities: Abortion, Birth, Caring||127|
|A Man Can Just Have Sex and Disappear, But a Woman Has to Live with the Consequences, Right?||128|
|Men's "A" Right and Responsibility: Abortion, or the Fallacy of "It's a Woman's Right to Choose Because It's a Woman's Body"||131|
|The "Petri Generation": Questions Frozen Embryos Will Soon Be Asking||133|
|How Women's Rights Are Creating Men's Rights||135|
|The "Trick and Sue" Law: Female-as-Kryptonite||140|
|Is a Men's Birth-Control Pill a Viable Solution?||143|
|Men's "C" Right and Responsibility: Caring||148|
|7||Does Divorce Make Women Poorer and Men Richer?||160|
|How Men Lost Their Children Because They Were Not the Primary Parent, and Lost Their Money Because They Were the Primary Breadwinner||166|
|8||Is Child Support Helping or Hurting the Family?||169|
|Are We Giving Women Incentives to Break Up the Family?||169|
|Why We Think of Dads More as Deadbeats Than as Dead Broke, Deadened, Dead-Ended, or Dead||179|
|9||"Visitation" Is for Criminals||186|
|The Child's Social Immune System: The Case for Denial of Parent Time as Child Abuse||188|
|Why Mothers Deprive Fathers of "Dad Time"||191|
|The Men's EEOC (Equal Emotional Opportunity Commission)||197|
|10||Playing the "Abuse" Card||200|
|How a Charge of Possible Child Abuse Can Create the "Twelve Guarantees of Child Abuse" ... Even if the Charge Is True||203|
|Daughter Denies Abuse, So Why Is Dad in Prison?||214|
|Women Who Sexually Assault, and the Teachers They Become||216|
|Is the False Charge of Sex Abuse the "Nuclear Weapon of Domestic Relations"?||218|
|Sex Abuse Charges: Toward a Solution||227|
|11||The Political Consequences of Ignoring Fathers||234|
|What the Pro-Choice Woman and the Right-to-Life Woman Have in Common||235|
|12||Conclusion: Toward a Father and Child Reunion||238|
|Appendix||What a Man Needs to Do if Divorce Cannot Be Avoided||248|
|About the Author||304|
Posted September 7, 2002
Warren Farrell's book, "Father and Child Reunion" is the truth. His former publisher was afraid to tell that truth, so Warren was obliged to seek the present publisher. Fathers deserve not just equal rights, in many situations, Fathers are the better parent. Buy the book!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted May 24, 2002
This book is OUTSTANDING! When I first read this book I could not put it down! This book speaks to my experience as a worker/ wage earner, a father, a non-custodial father, a payer of mother-support (and that IS the correct term guys),a husband and ex-husband. Men BUY THIS BOOK! Buy several. Give them to your sons, your father, your uncles, your brother(s), your grandfather your nephews. Women, if you love a man, especially if you have children with a man BUY THIS BOOK! Have the same courage to read with an open mind that has been demanded of men over the last 20 years!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted July 23, 2001
If family court judges had half of Farrell's knowledge and insight, and acted accordingly, we wouldn't be seeing the selfish feminists succeeding at destroying the family. This book will help any truly concerned parent recognize the forces working against his or her children.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted April 23, 2001
A hundred years ago and more, women were chattel and forced to live with philandering and/or abusive husbands who changed mistresses at will and produced children out of wedlock at every opportunity. All to stay under the same roof with their children. Farrell's 'theory' supports the concept that fathers are, by virtue of being men, the superior parent. Mothers can be exiled from the family home with little or no support although they often give up jobs and careers to be the 'at home' caregiver. Dad gets tired of Mom and sends her packing? NOT! No doubt, fathers should be involved with their children. As Farrell points out both parents have much to give to the upbringing of a child. However, this book isn't progress but Neanderthal thinking. It is enough to make any woman a feminist just to protect her rights as a parent. No wonder most of the people who wrote rave reviews were men!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 16, 2001
Some of the greatest novels - War and Peace, Crime and Punishment, The Red and the Black, Bread and Wine - exist around the essential struggle of the Grand Dichotomy. Warren Farrell latest book, Father and Child Reunion, due out January 8, 2001, is not a novel; it is fact that lives that great struggle between the two opposites of Fatherhood - its absence and its presence. Over nine years ago, when I had not been able to see my daughter for over two years, I was in the depths of despair, torn between the pain I knew my little girl would suffer through an intense and continuing custody battle and the pain of her growing up fatherless. Right about this same time, her mother called me up to talk to our daughter. She had not eaten in four days 'because her friends were making fun of her because she did not have a daddy.' I was staring the devils of the day and the devils of the night in the face. I was ready to give up completely. Warren Farrell gave me a set of statistics from a proposed chapter in his book 'The Myth of Male Power' (which chapter was refused publication) - straight information, cold and undeniable facts about the effects on children from growing up fatherless. He told me simply: 'know this and if you still want to give up, you can.' No one had ever given me permission to give up before, no one had told me that I had a choice. And once I knew the hard reality of Fatherlessness, I could not give up. The choice was easy. I have custody of my daughter today. Father and Child Reunion is the culmination of thirteen years of research and at least nine years search for a publisher. Applaud the courage of Torcher-Putnam. This book is the most important compilation of the effects of fatherhood on children that anyone interested in Family, Fathers or Children will ever find. It has a most generous set of footnotes citing authority, sources, and studies that allow the reader to think with essential truth. There are many arguments about Why there is so much Fatherlessness in America, in the World today. We need to get beyond the why. This book goes right to What happens because there is so much fatherlessness. The problem demands a solution. What is that solution? Understand the cost of fatherlessness and make it as profitable for children to have that essential relationship with its father as it has been for the child not to have a father. The costs are horrendous - drugs, alcohol, suicide, crime, prisons, prostitution, divorce, more Father absence. Vicious, that circle. There have now been a few generations to verify the extent of the problem. Warren Farrell has taken a few bold steps beyond the identification of the problem. He has come up with some thought provoking and challenging solutions. Real life solutions. Things we can all do starting today, every day in our own homes with our very own families. Before further problems surface. While the problem still has a solution. Anyone who has a father or a child should read this book. Anyone who has a father or a child needs to five copies of this book to anyone who is a father or a mother. Anyone who has a father or a child must give copies of this book to their priest or minister, to their teachers and congresspersons, to every judge and attorney in town, to their doctors. Organize a book-fest for the sake of every child who has drawn a breath or will draw a breath in the future. It is that important. My child has a father. Make sure every child you know has one too.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 14, 2001
What's so great about this book is that it tells the truth about the reality that children need to be raised by both a mother and a father. Farrell speaks with passion as well as with facts and figures to show what happens when we exclude men from their role as fathers. More importantly it shows us what we can do to insure that fathers are brought back home. The book will shake you up and then bring you back down with new insights, new understanding, and a new perspective on the future. Unlike many recent books, it does not paint one gender as bad and the other as good, but respects both women and men and calls on us all to end the battle of the sexes for the sake of men, women, and most importantly for the sake of the children.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 16, 2001
Farrell has shown diligence in his preparation and writing of this book. It is filled, page after page, with razor sharp insights. Farrell puts into words what many fathers only feel. He makes clear the bias fathers must contend with, the illogic of feminist logic, the harmful effects of well meaning judges, and clarifies the REAL meaning of the catch phrase, 'BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILD'. This is a book that all publishers and editors should read, all lawmakers should read, and all family court judges should memorize. If you have any interest in gender issues, or parenting issues, or issues of children's or father's rights, this book should not be missed. Read it, then share it with others.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 11, 2001
I just finished reading the 'Father and Child Reunion', and it's just great. The book gathers a great collection of facts that speak for themselves... theories that give these facts firm grounding... a strong connection to men's emotions... and a respectful and empathetic attitude toward women that is geared to promoting better understanding between the genders... At the end, the part on 'Playing the Abuse Card' felt to me like a harrowing crescendo on the theme of the book. The abuse issue is clearly positioned as the extreme part of a continuum in the way society views men and treats us. Warren Farrell describe several solutions - some individual, some societal - that form a very exciting program. I believe the book itself is one of the solutions - more men need to be exposed to these ideas to break through the shame that prevents us from being ourselves.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 6, 2001
Warren Farrell does an outstanding job of pulling together research from around the world with some suprising discoveries. His 'when either sex wins, they both lose' belief about the genders brings a non biased approach to presenting some alarming facts, many of which we have suspected for some time, and some which are absolutely shocking. This work brings a whole new awareness to the unique significance and importance of each parent in a child's life, and the huge personal and societal cost of many of the single parent models we use today. Read it!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 5, 2001
I had the privelege of reading a pre-publication copy of this book and I can't wait until January to talk about it. Warren Farrell has written many books about how to bring men and women together by ending gender warfare but this time he shows how children are damaged by the warfare and demonstrates the need for all of us to work together to bring fathers back into the lives of children. Whether it is the runaway Dad who needs to be coaxed back into fatherhood or the disconnected Dad who is too busy for the kids or the pushed-away Dad who has been victimized by an unfairly restrictive custody order, Farrell marshalls the proof that Dads are needed for the well-being of their children and for the future of our society. Based on thirteen years of intensive research, Farrell presents mountains of information on the importance of Dads, all of it cross-referenced to the original sources and scientific studies. As a true gender equality advocate (three time member of the N.Y. National Organization for Women Board of Directors and the leader of gender equality training workshops for thousands of men and women), Farrell demonstrates the benefits of increased father involvement for women, for children and for the men themselves. Everybody gains from helping men to be good Dads and from giving them the opportunity to do so. Sure, there are pathological extremes among Dads as in any large group but Farrell shows that most Dads are just ordinary guys who love their kids and who want to be an active part of their lives. Anyone who cares about family health and well-being needs to read this book to better understand the children's need for a father-friendly social environment. Most importantly, this book needs to be read by every father to better understand the potential for his contribution to his children and by every mother who wants the best for her children. Mothers and fathers working together for the benefit of their children is best for all of us. It's as simple as recognizing that two is more than one with Farrell showing us just how much more and how to overcome the difficulties of bringing one and one together to make two for the benefit of the children. Buy this book. Read this book. Give copies to everybody you know. It's that important.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted February 2, 2001
This book is completely 'Unbelievably remarkable.' He talks about how the book is not mother and child reunion and it is not father and son reunion. It should have been called 'Parents come together over Me(the child).' This is a must have and must read for ALL parents or people getting involved with another that has children from a previous realtionship. Sincerely, Randy L. Steffen firstname.lastname@example.orgWas this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.