Finding Your Way after Your Spouse Dies

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Overview

If you have suffered the death of your spouse, you have experienced one of the most painful and disorienting experiences life can offer. In the days immediately following the loss, you may need everything from advice on finances to a home-cooked meal. But there is nothing you need more than the warm, reassuring voice of one who has traveled this path before and survived.

In Finding Your Way After Your Spouse Dies, Marta Felber offers just such a voice--caring, hopeful, always pointing ahead to a tomorrow that will be a little easier than today. Having experienced her own spouse's death, Felber is never glib or simplistic. She knows the grief her readers are feeling, and she encourages ...

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More About This Book

Overview

If you have suffered the death of your spouse, you have experienced one of the most painful and disorienting experiences life can offer. In the days immediately following the loss, you may need everything from advice on finances to a home-cooked meal. But there is nothing you need more than the warm, reassuring voice of one who has traveled this path before and survived.

In Finding Your Way After Your Spouse Dies, Marta Felber offers just such a voice--caring, hopeful, always pointing ahead to a tomorrow that will be a little easier than today. Having experienced her own spouse's death, Felber is never glib or simplistic. She knows the grief her readers are feeling, and she encourages them to give it full expression. At the same time, she offers sound, practical suggestions on how to navigate difficult days.

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780877939320
  • Publisher: Avenue Records
  • Publication date: 3/28/2000
  • Edition description: Revised
  • Pages: 159
  • Sales rank: 136,243
  • Series: Finding Your Way Series
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.40 (h) x 0.50 (d)

Table of Contents

1. Open the Door 10
2. Create Your Own "Comfort Place" 12
3. Build a Support Network 14
4. Accept the Crying 16
5. Ask for a Hug 18
6. Deepen Your Faith 20
7. Recognize Denial 22
8. Start a Journal 24
9. Benefit From Meditation 26
10. Schedule a Physical Check-Up 28
11. Walk Each Day 30
12. Eat Regularly and Well 32
13. Appreciate the Straight Stretches 34
14. Organize for Early Tasks 36
15. Prepare for the Night 38
16. Greet the Day 40
17. Ignore Certain Messages 42
18. Give Positive Feedback 44
19. Postpone Some Decisions 46
20. Get a Grip on Finances 48
21. Get Off the Treadmill 50
22. Assume Control 52
23. Make Home Yours 54
24. Visualize and Plan Ahead 56
25. Prepare for Celebrations 58
26. Comfort Your Younger Children 60
27. Share This Loss With Your Grown Children 62
28. Welcome the Unexpected 64
29. Venture Out Alone 66
30. Employ the Wisdom of a "Worry Box" 68
31. Improve Lonely and Alone Times 70
32. Focus Your Grief 72
33. Relieve That Day 74
34. Write a Letter 76
35. End the Play 78
36. Picture the Person and Feel the Spirit 80
37. Maintain Inner Communication 82
38. Live in the Present 84
39. Acknowledge the Imperfections 86
40. Attend to Unresolved Grief 88
41. Forgive and Find Peace 90
42. Let Nature Heal 92
43. Resolve the Guilt 94
44. Face Your Fears 96
45. Express Your Anger 98
46. Sort Through Your Loved One's Belongings 100
47. Recognize the Special Challenges Men Face 102
48. Find a Support Group 104
49. Share the Grief of Others--But Don't Be Overwhelmed 106
50. Celebrate a Birthday 108
51. Choose to Fulfill 110
52. Create Memorials 112
53. Begin to Play (Again) 114
54. Volunteer and Help Others 116
55. Enter the Internet 118
56. Generate Some Laughter 120
57. Look in the Mirror 122
58. Consider Your Wedding Ring 124
59. Proceed Slowly With Dating 126
60. Contemplate Remarriage 128
61. Measure Growth and Accomplishments 130
62. Take Stock and Set Goals 132
63. Seek Additional Help 134
64. A Note From the Author 136
Resources 138
Where to Find ... 151

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 15, 2002

    The Gentle Hand of Experience Grasps Yours!

    Statistically, almost half of us can expect to outlive our spouses, usually as widows. The better the marriage . . . the greater the loss can be. Even losing a loved one after a troubled marriage can be a trial as you deal with loneliness and unaccustomed challenges and responsibilities. While many people can advise us about how to handle the legal, financial, and etiquette issues involved, only someone who has lost a much-loved spouse can help us deal with the emotional issues and grieving process. We are fortunate that Ms. Marta Felber has accumulated her experiences into a guide for us all. Finding Your Way after Your Spouse Dies is divided 63 brief ¿step by step¿ perspectives on the situations that you will face. While each one has a number of good suggestions, you will probably find much of your comfort in the brief prayer designed to capture the spirit of each one, and in the Old and New Testament Bible readings selected to accompany the prayer. I liked the advice. It calls for facing up to grief, but also reaching out for comfort, advice, and to new beginnings when you are ready. The book is especially helpful in building observations to help deal with painful milestones, like one year after the spouse¿s death, birthdays, your anniversary, and going out to do someone alone that you used to do with a spouse. The book also has many references to other books and resource groups that will help you refind the beauty of God¿s love and world. There¿s a delicate balance between being supportive and lecturing, between sharing and demanding a certain reaction, and between describing an experience and wallowing in its misery. Ms. Felber has the good taste and judgment to hit these balances just right, so you are experiencing with her rather than feeling her loss added to your own. Nicely done! As I read this book, I also thought about how people who have not lost a spouse should read this book in order to be more helpful to people who have. Be sure to give your hugs, love, and friendship in supportive ways! Donald Mitchell, co-author of The 2,000 Percent Solution and The Irresistible Growth Enterprise

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