Five-Finger Discount: A Crooked Family History


With deadpan humor and obvious affection, Five-Finger Discount recounts the story of an unforgettable New Jersey family of swindlers, bookies, embezzlers, and mobster-wannabes. In the memoir Mary Karr calls “a page-turner,” Helene Stapinski ingeniously weaves the checkered history of her hometown of Jersey City—a place known for its political corruption and industrial blight—with the tales that have swirled around her relatives for decades. Navigating a childhood of toxic waste and tough love, Stapinski tells an ...

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Five-Finger Discount: A Crooked Family History

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With deadpan humor and obvious affection, Five-Finger Discount recounts the story of an unforgettable New Jersey family of swindlers, bookies, embezzlers, and mobster-wannabes. In the memoir Mary Karr calls “a page-turner,” Helene Stapinski ingeniously weaves the checkered history of her hometown of Jersey City—a place known for its political corruption and industrial blight—with the tales that have swirled around her relatives for decades. Navigating a childhood of toxic waste and tough love, Stapinski tells an extraordinary tale at once heartbreaking and hysterically funny.

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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble
Growing up above a tavern in Jersey City, New Jersey, surrounded by unruly, insane, and even criminal family members, Helene Stapinski quickly learned how to avert trouble and look the other way. Eventually escaping across the Hudson River to New York University, Stapinski went on to become a writer for The New York Times and New York magazine, and she now shares her remarkable family history in this brutally honest memoir. Alternately humorous and heartbreaking, Five-Finger Discount is both an emotional family portrait and a scathing look at the oft-forgotten culture of the urban working class.
From the Publisher
“[Five-Finger Discount] will steal your heart.”

“By turns hilarious and alarming, uproarious and depressing, [stapinski’s] book reads on the surface like something by Damon Runyon and Elmore Leonard, with a dark undertow of real-life pain and disillusion.”
—Michiko Kakutani, The New York Times

“It’s a brilliant book, a darling book. It is the blessedly modest chronicle of a magical consciousness that seems to have been born pulling diamonds out of the muck, hearing angels’ voices in the fiercest thunder....I adored every word of this wondrous book. Get it. Read it.”
—Michael Pakenham, Baltimore Sun

“In the tradition of...Rita Mae Brown and Amy Tan, Ms. Stapinski is an exciting writer, unabashedly candid, and at the same time unashamedly self-contained. Five-Finger Discount is a must-read.”
—Victoria Gotti, The New York Observer

“What [Frank] McCourt did for Limerick, Ireland, Helene Stapinski does for Jersey City.”
—Newark Sunday Star-Ledger

“Hugely entertaining.”
—London Sunday Times

John Farmer
What [Betty] Smith did for Brooklyn and [Frank] McCourt for Limerick, Ireland, Helene Stapinski does for Jersey City in Five Finger Discount.... Anyone seeking a succinct history of Jersey City's polluted politics will find it's all there in Five Finger Discount.... She tells a good story, like so many in Jersey City.
Newark Star-Ledger
From The Critics
In her touching memoir, Stapinski chronicles her Polish family history and provides, by extension, an insider's guide to her version of Jersey City's past. Stapinski claims that growing up on "swag," (a little theft here and there) was the norm in Jersey City; that the typical resident was either a "quick-witted crook" or someone who "sat back and blended into the ugly scenery." The book is structured around the author's colorful stories: most notably, the time her grandfather, Beansie, tried to kill the family. Beansie was eventually locked up, but his image repeatedly haunts the author's story. Stapinski oscillates between disdain for Jersey City, with its tough and crooked ways, and her passion for her family heritage. In spite of her riveting stories of crime and scandal, the book's most tender moments unfold when Stapinski explores the naive perceptions of youth, including the charming observation that the Statue of Liberty was mad at her because she had her back to the entire state of New Jersey.
—Ann B. Stephenson

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
"The night my grandfather tried to kill us, I was five years old, the age I stopped believing in Santa Claus, started kindergarten, and made real rather than imaginary friends." This chatty and often engaging memoir of growing up among a rogue's gallery of tough characters may leave readers thinking Stapinski might have been better off with an imaginary family. Reminiscent of Michael Patrick McDonald's highly praised All Souls: A Family Story from Southie, but without that book's overwhelming moral force, this is the sad, often funny story of Stapinski's extended family of grifters, con men and women and petty crooks. At its best, it's a vivid portrait of working-class life in Jersey City, N.J. But too often it veers uneasily between disarming anecdotes (Stapinski's grandfather steals books from the public library where he works as a security guard) and terrifying details of lives out of control (her father almost loses his legs because of untreated but obvious diabetes), and doesn't sustain dramatic intensity. Stapinski, who has written for the New York Times and New York magazine, can be funny--as in her descriptions of attending New York University, where she meets Jews, punks and lesbians, and reads the Village Voice--and even illuminating, as when she describes the Machiavellian, if mundane, workings of the multitude of patronage systems that have corrupted Jersey City politics. Though she has a good eye for the details of family and community life, too often the emotions in this memoir feel imagined, not real. (Mar.) Copyright 2000 Cahners Business Information.
Library Journal
The author weaves a fascinating tale of growing up amid the decay and corruption of 1970s-80s Jersey City, NJ. Using her family's story as a mirror for the best and the worst the place has to offer, this journalist goes beyond the family to frame a distinct history and sociological description. She begins with the family legend of the night her grandfather threatened to kill her entire family, then goes on to tell stories of corrupt mayors and bookie uncles, embezzling DMV officials and embezzling cousins, sadistic nuns, and "swag" that fell off the truck and found its way home from work each night. Although Stapinski uncovers family skeleton after family skeleton, her writing never turns maudlin. Just as she couldn't reject her family, she is still connected to her hometown. Her imperfect family comes across as a loving, tight-knit clan, and Jersey City, while built on toxic wastes, comes across as a compelling place where marvels hide in decay. Of interest especially to sociology/ urban studies collections, this well-written, heavily researched, thoroughly enjoyable read is highly recommended. --Karen Sandlin Silverman, Ctr. for Applied Research, Philadelphia Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.
Kirkus Reviews
A humorous yet unsettling look back at a minor-league grifter family in a major-league crooked town—pre-reform Jersey City. Stapinski's debut invokes sensitive questions about class, domesticity, and the tolerance of corruption essential to machine politics. She artfully reconstructs her hardscrabble 1970s childhood above a tavern, and her close-knit, rambunctious family, entangled by the graft-ridden Hudson County government (her mother worked for the DMV, and an aunt was a longtime "fixer"). But to a large degree she portrays her family, like her native city, as cursed—and she explores veins of darkness behind the hearty façade: the community's reliance on stolen goods (and the endorsement of criminality that implied), her taciturn father's dependence on alcohol, and the violence embodied by a hate-filled grandfather (whose madness was tolerated in the community until he tried to murder members of his own family). Throughout, Stapinski uses her family-based narrative to portray an urban political culture that encouraged theft, election fraud, industrial pollution, and a looting of the tax base, while pacifying underclass residents with city-payroll jobs and mob-mentality hedonism. Along the way, she constructs a vivid picture of pre-gentrification Jersey City: a "scary" place where teenagers attended decaying movie palaces, the streets were full of deformed pencil-sellers and midget news-dealers, stolen goods were sold in the municipal buildings, and loose joints and "the numbers" were available on any street corner. Although evoking the crowded, colloquial feel of "outsider" writing, the author has a fine sense of narrative line and of relevant observation; as a result, her work simultaneously captures the street-level conviviality of the urban working class, and the desperation and violence lurking beneath. Equally reminiscent of Samuel Fuller's filmed melodramas, Springsteen's My Hometown, and Patrick MacDonald's All Souls (1999), this is an unusual and relevant urban family history.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780375758706
  • Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
  • Publication date: 3/12/2002
  • Edition description: Reprint
  • Pages: 272
  • Sales rank: 211,874
  • Product dimensions: 5.20 (w) x 8.00 (h) x 0.60 (d)

Meet the Author

Helene Stapinski began her career at her hometown newspaper, The Jersey Journal, and since then has written for The New York Times, New York magazine, and People, among other publications. She received her B.A. in journalism from New York University in 1987 and her M.F.A. from Columbia in 1995. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband and son.

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Read an Excerpt

Majestic Memory

The night my grandfather tried to kill us, I was five years old, the age I
stopped believing in Santa Claus, started kindergarten, and made real rather than imaginary friends.

Because Grandpa was one of two grandfathers in their family, my cousins called him Grandpa Jerry. For me, he was simply Grandpa. I had only one.
The other—my father's father, the Polish grandpa we called Dziadzia
(pronounced Jaja)—was hit over the head during a burglary in his front hallway seven years before I was born and died after slipping into a coma.

Everyone in Jersey City knew Grandpa "Italian Grandpa" as Beansie, because when he was young, he stole a crate of beans from the back of a truck.
Details about his life started to bubble into my consciousness during the summer of 1970, the year my memory kicked in full force. There were stories about Grandpa "going away" to Trenton for murder. Being arrested for armed robbery. Beating my mother, her sister, and her three brothers.

Grandpa was a well-known neighborhood bully and crook, though the only stolen objects I knew of firsthand were the ones he swiped while working as a security guard at the Jersey City Public Library and Museum in the late
1960s. The fact that Grandpa was able to get a city job as a security guard (through an uncle, who knew a local judge, who was connected to the mayor) says a lot about Jersey City's patronage system and general reputation. Everybody stole. It was no big deal.

My brother inherited most of the objects Grandpa took from the library and museum—the shiny, shellacked coins with Indian feathered heads; a photograph of Abraham Lincoln; small, black Indian arrowheads; a set of encyclopedias. I always wondered if Grandpa stole them book by book or had one of his friends with a car pull up to the library and help him load them in.

The only stolen object of Grandpa's that I possess is a dictionary, a
Webster's Seventh New Collegiate edition, which he inscribed to my sister the year I was born: "From Grandpa. Hi Ya Paula. Year-1965." The call numbers on the spine and the blue stamp on a back page, which reads free public library jersey city, n.j., have been crossed out in blue indelible marker, his attempt to legitimize the gift. Grandpa obviously had his own interpretation of the phrase free public library.

Before I started school, my grandma Pauline baby-sat for me while my mother worked as a clerk at the Jersey City Division of Motor Vehicles office,
three blocks away. When Grandma died in February of 1970, my mother had no one to baby-sit, so she quit her job. Though I'm sure I missed my grandma—a saintly woman with a halo of white hair and small, pretty hands—my world changed for the better. I was suddenly the center of my mother's attention.
With Grandma gone, Grandpa was at the center of no one's.

Because my grandmother had stayed married to Grandpa for four decades, she died fairly young. She was only sixty. She died on Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. By then Grandma hated Grandpa so much that on her deathbed,
with the smudge of ashes on her forehead, she made my mother promise that
Grandpa wouldn't be buried on top of her when he died. She couldn't stand the thought of his remains mingling with hers.

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Table of Contents

1 Majestic Memory 3
2 Lucky Number 21
3 No Soup for Supper 32
4 Off the Truck 44
5 The Machine 61
6 Check Your Coat and Hat 75
7 Lucky Strike 93
8 Straw Katie 104
9 Pennies from Heaven 116
10 Bad Boy 126
11 Gone Away 135
12 Falling Star 152
13 The Heights 161
14 Through the Tunnel 171
15 Ten Plagues 182
16 On Trial 200
17 Resurrection 217
18 Valentine's Day 225
19 No Filters 236
20 Born Again 244
Acknowledgments 257
Bibliography 259
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Sort by: Showing all of 8 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 12, 2001

    Incredibly Truthful Tale

    The book 'Five Finger Discount' is a detailed truthful memoir of Helene Stapinski's life and the life of her immediate family, friends and collegues. Helene's Grandpa Beansie's children survived the brutal violence (physical and mental abuse) of their father and knew that one day their story would be told, vindication would one day surface, And they are all alive to validate it. 'Beansie' (the Italian Grandpa)and his family is a story in itself, though Stapinski gives you a description of each character that left a bad taste in her mouth,(though she did leave out a few). I hope that Helene or someone in the family follows up with the story of Beansie and his cruel family members who never had an inch of class in their body or a drop of sorrow in their bones. They deserve part II. (or don't they?). They know just who they are! Don't you want to know??? Cheers Helene, credit well deserved!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 11, 2001

    Ten Finger Talent

    Stapinski's 'Five Finger Discount'(Jersey City lingo for the acquisition of stolen goods) is a classic memoir of the marriage of Heaven and Hell which is so often the American family-- bound by pathos and humor , by crime and hard-earned domestic pride, in the cauldron of immigration, alienation, assimilation.The author's writing manages the remarkable achievement of maintaining the balance between the necessary irony and poignancy of streetsmart personal reminiscence while at the same time leavening in impressive research and keeping the pages relentlessly turning.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 29, 2010

    Revealing and comforting

    This story is about the Polish immigrants that moved to Jersey City, NJ in the early 1930s. My father and his family never talked about their early life, I think there was a lot of shame about being immigrants from Russia. This book helped me understand my father better. It described his early life for me. My Dad still plays the numbers. This book is great especially for people like me who are descendants of Eastern Europeans that settled in Jersey City. Its amazing how many people ended up in the mental hospital. It helped me understand how difficult it is to emigrate. What a complex issue.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 1, 2005

    A Memoir

    The author Helene Stapinski reflects on what it was like growing up in Jersey City surrounded by insane family members who were corrupt. Instead of becoming corrupt the author bettered herself by gradurating from NY Unveristy and working as a writer for The New York Times. Helene Stapinski gives a poigant but heartbreaking description of how her grandfather tried to have his entire family killed. Hopefully Five-Finger Discount becomes a televison movie and they author will write a sequal. The only things I found negative about tehe book was the corruption in Jersey City and politics. Not everyone who grew up in Jersey City, NJ is corrupt. I was born and raised in Jersey City and know this for a fact.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 19, 2004

    Jersey Citizens Beware!

    This story will prove to be such a true account of your childhood that you may begin to wonder why you weren't mentioned somewhere along the way. From corrupt politics to family loyalties this page turner will keep you wondering just how many times CAN Stapinski pinpoint the exact quirks that make J.C. home?

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 17, 2002

    Amusing but rambling and pointless.

    I do not give this book superlative grades like the previous reviewers. It was amusing and interesting in several places. The history of Jersey City immigrants and the family history was fascinating. There were also a lot of cute little vignettes sprinkled through the book. But, with non-fiction writing, I'm an old school guy. I want suspense and anticipation. This book didn't have it. After about 100 pages I couldn't figure out where the author was taking me, and from then on it became an effort to get through the endless stream of rambling.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 26, 2011

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 6, 2011

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