The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate [NOOK Book]

Overview


Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? #1 New York Times
bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding,
and speaking their spouse's primary love language-quality time, words of ...
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The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

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Overview


Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? #1 New York Times
bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding,
and speaking their spouse's primary love language-quality time, words of affirmation,
gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.

By learning the five love languages,
you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other. Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction. A newly designed love languages assessment will help you understand and strengthen your relationship.
You can build a lasting, loving marriage together.

Gary Chapman hosts a nationally syndicated daily radio program called A Love Language Minute that can be heard on more than 150 radio stations as well as the weekly syndicated program Building
Relationships with Gary Chapman
, which can both be heard on fivelovelanguages.com.
The Five Love Languages is a consistent New York Times bestseller
- with over 5 million copies sold and translated into 38 languages.
This book is a sales phenomenon, with each year outselling the prior for 16 years running!
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Editorial Reviews

Wireless Age
Every once and a while a book comes along that distills a concept so well it is revolutionary. Gary Chapman draws on his years of counseling and seminar experience to accomplish such a task. This discussion guide becomes a mini marriage retreat for just under twelve dollars. Chapman has the audacious courage to tell us that even though we may have marriages that span decades we may not be hearing what our spouses are saying. This is two fold because we may also be speaking words that do not clearly communicate our needs. In redefining the language we use into five simple paradigms he guides couples down a road of clear expressions of love. His examples serve both to highlight the five love languages and disarm the reader into admitting to a flaw in their own ability to be the spouse they initially intended.
Marriage Partnership
This isn't the first book to point out that what communicates love to you might not mean a thing to your mate. But Gary Chapman says it the most clearly, and most convincingly. His well-defined languages explain why so many well-meaning spouses find expressions of love so frustrating.
Moody Magazine
Falling in love can be an all-consuming joy, but an enduring love can be as scarce as ice in the desert. Well-known counselor, marriage seminar leader, and author Gary Chapman gives couples the guidance they need to maintain a "full love tank" after the initial emotional high.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781575678856
  • Publisher: Moody Publishers
  • Publication date: 12/17/2009
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Edition description: New Edition
  • Pages: 208
  • Sales rank: 1,464
  • File size: 866 KB

Meet the Author


GARY CHAPMAN, PhD, is the author of the #1 New York Times bestselling
The 5 Love Languages. With over 30 years of counseling experience, he has the uncanny ability to hold a mirror up to human behavior, showing readers not just where they go wrong, but also how to grow and move forward. Dr. Chapman holds BA
and MA degrees in anthropology from Wheaton College and Wake Forest University,
respectively, MRE and PhD degrees from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary,
and has completed postgraduate work at the University of North Carolina and Duke
University. For more information visit his website at 5lovelanguages.com.
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Read an Excerpt


In the area of love, it is similar. Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English. No matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your spouse understands only Chinese,
you will never understand how to love each other. My friend on the plane was speaking the language of "Affirming Words" to his third wife when he said, "I told her how beautiful she was. I told her I loved her. I told her how proud I was to be her husband." He was speaking love, and he was sincere, but she did not understand his language. Perhaps she was looking for love in his behavior and didn't see it. Being sincere is not enough. We must be willing to learn our spouse's primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love.
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Table of Contents


TABLE OF CONTENTS

Acknowledgments / 9

1. What Happens to Love After the Wedding? / 11

2. Keeping the Love Tank Full
/ 19

3. Falling in Love / 27

4. Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation
/ 39

5. Love Language #2: Quality Time / 59

6. Love Language #3:
Receiving Gifts / 81

7. Love Language #4: Acts of Service / 97

8.
Love Language #5: Physical Touch / 115

9. Discovering Your Primary Love
Language / 133

10. Love Is a Choice / 143

11. Love Makes the Difference / 153

12. Loving the Unlovely / 161

13. Children and Love Languages / 177

14. A Personal Word / 189

The Five
Love Languages Profile for Husbands / 193

The Five Love Languages Profile for Wives / 199

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 967 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(556)

4 Star

(210)

3 Star

(103)

2 Star

(46)

1 Star

(52)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 975 Customer Reviews
  • Posted January 2, 2010

    This book WILL change your Marriage ~ Period

    7 Months ago (May 2009) and after almost 17 years of marriage, my wife and I were ready to call it quits. The love for each other was gone and for all intents and purposes, we were little more than glorified roommates, and not even good ones at that. Although we were not officially divorced by the courts, emotionally, spiritually and physically we WERE divorced ~ bankrupted in our relationship. During the summer as we struggled with how, or even IF we wanted to continue being married, a dear family member gave me this book and asked me to read it. I told my wife what I was learning and it piqued her interest. She began to see some real changes in how I treated her (Her love languages are Acts of Service and Gifts). As I read through this book, and discovered my love language(s) (and hers as well), it became apparent to me that this author had stumbled across something that I believe could and does STOP divorce in its tracks if people would read this book and apply its principles to heart for themselves and for their partners. If my wife and I can take a dead marriage and turn it into the best we have ever had using these principles anyone can. Will it stop infidelity or abusive behavior of a spouse? The answer to those particular situations have to be dealt with at a personal and spiritual level and although this book does not specifically deal with those issues, it does offer tremendous guidance in learning to love your spouse the way he/she feels love. God can and WILL save your marriage and this book can help you understand what a true loving partnership is about and why we need each other interdependently in this life and in our marriage. My wife has since commented after finishing this book that it should be required reading for anyone contemplating getting married. It truly is THAT powerful. I know many today are hurting and struggling in their marriages and having gone through that fire, my heart truly breaks for others in similar situations. It is tough thing to separate your life from someone you once loved. I can only say for myself having learned and put Gary's suggestions into practice, that I have seen a difference in how my wife and I now love each other. There is hope. READ this book and give it to your partner! Test the principles that Gary Chapman provides and see if you don't see a change in how your partner responds (lovingly) to you and begin to have the best marriage of your life. Best hopes for the readers in discovering your partners Love Language and a new found love for each other.

    60 out of 61 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted August 24, 2011

    I Also Recommend:

    Good read

    After a terrible time in matters of love, I thought I would do some research. the 5 love languages was one of the books I choose to read. It was very well written and interesting.

    34 out of 43 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 13, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    One of the First Steps In Decoding the Love In Your Marriage

    If you can read, you can understand the love in your marriage. This book is a simple and easy to read. It gave me the basic tools that I needed to understand my wife, ex-wife, and our children. Learn your love language and stop talking at one another. You can stop talking altogether. Start communicating in the language that your spouse has always spoken, and learn to articulate yours. My life would be different if I had read this book either. I can not change the past, but I am better prepared for the wonderful future ahead.

    25 out of 28 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 5, 2010

    an absolute must read (and apply)

    The Five Love Languages (TFLL) by Gary Chapman is probably the most useful book on relationships ever written.

    While the title expounds by saying "how to express heartfelt commitment to your mate", its usefulness in application doesn't stop there. The lessons learned in TFLL can, and should, be applied in all relationships--not just romantic ones. Learning how friends, extended family, and those whom one works with closely expect to receive and express love (or exchange love with appreication, gratitude, admiration, motivation, etc.)will enhance those relationships tremendously.

    I have also found the lessons learned from TFLL to be valuable for empowering, inspiring and motivating others to fulfill their potential in working relationships. If you have ever worked with one of those "difficult people", then the lessons in TFLL will help in identifying how you can apply a different tactic to capture their attention and empower them. Learning that the reasons why people do certain things are often out of expectations that differ from our own will certainly go along way in helping to adjust our own actions/reactions to others' actions/reactions, and in the end, just might help enhance the working relationship with those colleagues.

    Learning that different people have different priorities in expressing and receiving love (again: or admiration, appreciation, etc.), that we should't project our own love language priorities on others, and that we should express love/appreciation/gratitude in a manner that will be most meaningful to each other, will inspire more meaningful exchanges and enhance our relationships.

    In short, if their are people in your life that you wish to insure you have the best relationship possible with, then you should read this book and apply all of the suggestions for learning the priority of their individual love languages--right after you figure out your own order.

    It's actually fun to figure out your own love language and then try to guess what the order of love languages will be for your mate, friends, family, and co-workers.

    9 out of 9 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 12, 2007

    AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!!!

    I picked this book off the shelf never hearing about it before...the title caught my eye and I was completely surprized how much i liked this book!!! This isn't just a relationship book but an inside look on how to better understand people. After reading this you will be amazed at how much you truely learn about your co-workers and family. You will begin to understand why they do what they do and maybe you will get a better understanding of yourself! I starting reading this and couldn't put it down...I brought it to work and 5 people borrowed it and it came back with rave reviews from all of them...I hope this book helps you as much as it has me!

    9 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted June 20, 2009

    Simple yet most Profound Primer on 5 styles of demonstrating affection/love

    This selection is very atypical of the books I would pick; however after reading in the NYT that an US Army officer would customarily give a copy to his soldiers before returning home to help them prepare for their domestic re-engagements to help mitigate the misunderstandings that often happen within a marriage, I had to check it out. The observations, examples and logic are all very simple but made this reader realize where I fell in the scale of behaviors and why I would encounter the problems I did. The bottom line was that my partner mostly demonstrated his affection in the way that I was not likely to recognize. Based on my own conclusions about how to best get my attention I also learned while he did not complain, I never reciprocated my support of our relationship in ways which would most resonate for him. By the time I had this epiphany the damage had already been done; however I now look at my friendships/relationships with keener & more open eyes to assess how to best reach my loved ones. The results are more satisfying and I avoid the frustrating loops of less than successful repeat behaviors. I now give this book to newly engaged couples, or as a part of their wedding gift and the feedback I get is always about the book. Everyone who cares about their significant other should make it a point to get their own copy because the message is delivered very plainly and effectively and one can determine how best to adjust their own conduct to (often with minor changes) better remain on their partner's radar in the best way. I highly recommend.

    8 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 2, 2013

    Opened my eyes

    The wonderful thing about this book, is that anyone can benefit from it -- not just married couples. I wish I had read this when I was single, but I am glad I read it with my fiance before going into marriage. It is part of our premarital counseling and we have already learned and grown so much from it.

    I found this book to be a well written, excellent read. The examples and anecdotes the author used to describe the love languages made it easy to understand the exact meaning of each one. The use of "dialects" within each love language make it even more clear, ways in which you can communicate effectively.

    It is easy to connect with this book because the couples' stories in it are so relate-able (even if you haven't been through the exact same experience).

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 13, 2012

    Simple and excellent

    This is an excellent, simple approach to strenthening a marriage. It gives the 5 love languages we all need and helps find the most important for each person which is often not the same. They are: affirmatiion; quality time; receiving gifts; acts of service; touch. These work for children of all ages as well as couples.

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 20, 2009

    I LOVE THIS BOOK

    This book is AMAZING. For anyone in a relationship, or just interested in how to make ANY relationship work, it is a LIFE SAVER. Dr. Gary Chapman uses very MODERN examples, and just really makes it easy to relate the book to your life.

    4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 10, 2010

    Enlightening

    This book was recommended to us (spouse and me) because of negative changes occurring in our relationship. I thought that life was beautiful, when in fact I was not successfully showing my wife I loved her - and I really do! This book lets you see how some people perceive love - which can be different than how you see or feel love. Knowing now how my wife 'feels love' I now show her in a way she understands - and she in turn shows me in the ways I need to be shown. Having troubles in your relationship may be minimized if you have the knowledge contained in this book. Good reading!

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 30, 2012

    Great Read

    Glad I read it, helps me to relate to others better

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 24, 2012

    Wow!

    Must read for any couple who's willing to learn and want to grow closer to their spouse.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 9, 2012

    Read it a couple of times over the years

    This book is helpful, but not the end all be all.

    2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 27, 2013

    Not much help

    As it is often with books of this type, as you read it, its almost as the light bulb goes on. "yeah, that makes sense!" You knew it all along, you just didn't have a name for it or a way to categorize it. Well, that's where the positives end. After giving you that light bulb experience, it just leaves you hanging. Giving you only the obvious resolutions (obvious because it's been categorized) but little more. REalistically, I want to see a bit more from this.

    Maybe if you order one of the other books in the series specific to your situation (like for military spouses) it would be more helpful.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 22, 2013

    Strikes home

    Required reading for anyone looking to stay married.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 24, 2013

    Improve your love relationships with this book

    It is such an eye opener to different ways of how people show their love. The stories in the book are real people who were on the verge of divorce or settling in an unhappy marriage. I am very happy to have read this book bc it has helped save my what i thought was crumbling marriage and life of being unfullfilled.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 1, 2012

    Must read

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 20, 2010

    Pre-Marital Requirement

    This book Should be read by all couples considering Marriage and read together. Some of us have some askew expectations when it comes to relationships. This book really opened my eyes to Love, Mutual Respect, and Communication. I learned Unforgettable Life Lessons.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 6, 2010

    This was a great book!

    I had several people refer to this book & it was great! Although it refers to spouses throughout it's applicable to yourself & anyone in your life. I recommend it!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 12, 2009

    I Also Recommend:

    This changed my life and my understanding of my marriage

    While I was at first put off to find this book in the religious section of the store as opposed to the relationship section, I am so glad that I purchased the book. It is profound! It has only the slightest bit of christian content, being written by someone who does many church marriage improvement workshops and discussing some of those within the book.

    The five languages of love helped me to understand why my expressions of love to my wife were falling on deaf ears, as they were not her languages of love. It also explained why I had hurt her so badly by not telling her of my love in the ways that she needed to hear that I loved her. It was not that each of us didn't love the other, it was that we were expressing our love for each other every week and most days in ways that the other partner could not understand.

    This book is a must for anyone with a marriage problem, as a gift for someone entering into marriage or a gift for a child or friend who is entering into serious relationships.

    Buy it, read it, have your spouse read it, take the test at the end and then talk about it with your spouse. It will change your life and your marriage!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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