The Five Love Languages of Children

( 83 )

Overview


Does your child speak a different language? Sometimes they wager for your attention, and other times they ignore you completely. Sometimes they are filled with gratitude and affection, and other times they seem totally indifferent. Attitude. Behavior. Development. Everything depends on the love relationship between you and your child. When children feel loved, they do their best. But how can you make sure your child feels loved?

Since 1992, Dr. Gary Chapman's best-selling book ...

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Overview


Does your child speak a different language? Sometimes they wager for your attention, and other times they ignore you completely. Sometimes they are filled with gratitude and affection, and other times they seem totally indifferent. Attitude. Behavior. Development. Everything depends on the love relationship between you and your child. When children feel loved, they do their best. But how can you make sure your child feels loved?

Since 1992, Dr. Gary Chapman's best-selling book The 5 Love Languages has helped millions of  couples develop stronger, more fulfilling relationships by teaching them to speak each others' love language. Each child, too, expresses and receives love through one of five different communication styles. And your love language may be totally different from that of your child. While you are doing all you can to show your child love, he may be hearing it as something completely opposite. Discover your child's primary language and learn what you can do to effectively convey unconditional feelings of respect, affection, and commitment that will resonate in your child's emotions and behavior.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780802403476
  • Publisher: Moody Publishers
  • Publication date: 2/1/2012
  • Pages: 224
  • Sales rank: 16,485
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 8.90 (h) x 0.50 (d)

Meet the Author


GARY CHAPMAN, PhD, is the author of the #1 New York Times bestselling The 5 Love Languages. With over 30 years of counseling experience, he has the uncanny ability to hold a mirror up to human behavior, showing readers not just where they go wrong, but also how to grow and move forward. Dr. Chapman holds BA and MA degrees in anthropology from Wheaton College and Wake Forest University, respectively, MRE and PhD degrees from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, and has completed postgraduate work at the University of North Carolina and Duke University. For more information visit his website at www.5lovelanguages.com.

ROSS CAMPBELL, M.D., is the author of the bestselling book How to Really Love Your Child, which has sold more than one million copies. He has spent over 30 years as a clinical psychiatrist, concentrating on the parent-child relationship. Today he works with the Ministering to Ministers Foundation, serving individual ministers, their families, and church organizations. Dr. Campbell is the co-author of The Five Love Languages of Children and Parenting Your Adult Child and author of How to Really Love Your Teenager. Dr. Campbell resides in Signal Mountain, Tennessee.

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Read an Excerpt

The 5 Love Languages of Children


By GARY CHAPMAN ROSS CAMPBELL

Northfield Publishing

Copyright © 2012 Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-0-8024-0347-6


Chapter One

love is the foundation

Brad and Emily couldn't figure out what was wrong with Caleb, their eight-year-old son. He had been an above-average learner and still did his homework, but this year he was struggling in school. He would go to the teacher after she had given an exercise and ask her to explain it again. He'd visit her desk up to eight times a day, asking for further instructions. Was it poor hearing or a comprehension problem? Brad and Emily had Caleb's hearing tested, and a school counselor gave him a comprehension test. His hearing was normal and his understanding typical for a third-grader.

Other things about their son puzzled them. At times, Caleb's behavior seemed almost antisocial. The teacher would take turns eating with her third-grade students during lunch, but Caleb would sometimes push other children aside so he could be near her. During recess, he would leave other children whenever the teacher appeared on the playground, running to her to ask an insignificant question and escape the others. If the teacher participated in a game during recess, Caleb would try to hold the teacher's hand during the game.

His parents had met with the teacher three times already, and neither they nor the teacher could find the problem. Independent and happy in grades one and two, Caleb now seemed to show "clinging behavior" that made no sense. He also was fighting much more with his older sister Hannah, although Emily and Brad assumed that was just a stage he was passing through.

When this couple came to my "The Marriage You've Always Wanted" seminar and told me about Caleb, they were worried, wondering if they had a budding rebel on their hands. "Dr. Chapman, we know this is a marriage seminar and maybe our question is out of place," Emily said, "but Brad and I thought that perhaps you could give us some guidance." Then she described her son's worrisome behavior.

I asked these parents whether their own lifestyle had changed this year. Brad said he was a salesman, out on calls two nights a week, but home between 6:00 and 7:30 p.m. on the other weeknights. Those nights were spent catching up on emails and texts and watching a little TV. On weekends, he used to go to football games, often taking Caleb. But he hadn't done that in a year. "It's just too much of a hassle. I'd rather watch the games on TV."

"How about you, Emily?" I asked. "Have there been any changes in your lifestyle over the last few months ?"

"Definitely," she said. "I've been working part-time at the college for the last three years since Caleb entered kindergarten. But this year I took a full-time job there, so I get home later than usual. Actually my mom picks him up at school, and Caleb stays with her for about an hour and a half until I pick him up. On the evenings that Brad is out of town, Caleb and I usually have dinner with my folks and then come home."

It was almost time for the seminar session to begin, yet I sensed I was beginning to understand what was going on inside of Caleb. So I made a suggestion. "I'm going to be talking about marriage, but I want each of you to be thinking about how the principles I am sharing might apply to your relationship with Caleb. At the end of the seminar, I'd like to know what conclusions you have drawn." They seemed a little surprised that I was ending our conversation without making any suggestions, but they both were willing to go along with my request.

At the end of the day, as other participants at our seminar were filing out, Brad and Emily hurried up to me with that look of fresh discovery. "Dr. Chapman, I think we have just gained some insight into what's going on with Caleb," Emily said. "When you were discussing the five love languages, we both agreed that Caleb's primary love language is quality time. Looking back over the last four or five months, we realized that we have given him less quality time than we had before.

"When I was working part-time, I'd pick him up from school every day, and we would usually do something together on the way home, maybe run an errand or stop by the park or get ice cream together. When we got home, Caleb would play games for a while. Then after dinner, I would often help him with his homework or we'd watch something on TV, especially on the nights Brad was away. All that has changed since I started my new job, and I realize I'm spending less time with Caleb."

I glanced at Brad, and he said, "For my part, I realize I used to take Caleb with me to football games, but since I stopped going, I haven't replaced that father-son time with anything. He and I haven't really spent a great deal of time together the last few months."

"I think you may have discovered some real insight into Caleb's emotional need," I told them. "If you can meet his need for love, I think there is a good chance you will see a change in his behavior." I suggested some key ways to express love through quality time and challenged Brad to build time with Caleb into his schedule. I encouraged Emily to look for ways she and Caleb could once more do some of the things they did before she started her full-time job. They both seemed eager to translate their insight into action.

"There may be other factors involved," I said, "but if you will give your son large doses of quality time and then sprinkle in the other four love languages, I think you will see a radical change in his behavior."

We said good-bye. I never heard from Emily and Brad, and to be honest, I forgot about them. But about two years later I returned to Wisconsin for another seminar, and they walked in and reminded me of our conversation. They were all smiles; we hugged each other, and they introduced me to friends they had invited to the seminar.

"Tell me about Caleb," I said.

They both smiled and said, "He's doing great. We meant to write you many times but never got around to it. We went home and did what you suggested. We consciously gave Caleb lots of quality time over the next few months. Within two or three weeks, really, we saw a dramatic change in his behavior at school. In fact, the teacher asked us to come in again, and we were worried. But this time, she wanted to ask what we had done that had brought about such a change in Caleb."

The teacher told them that Caleb's inappropriate behavior had stopped: no more pushing other children away from her in the lunchroom; no more coming to her desk to ask question after question. Then Emily explained that her husband and she had begun to speak Caleb's "love language" after attending a seminar. "We told her how we had started giving him overdoses of quality time," said Emily.

This couple had learned to speak their son's love language, to say "I love you" in a way that Caleb could understand. His story encouraged me to write this book.

Speaking your child's primary love language does not mean he or she will not rebel later. It does mean your child will know you love him, and that can bring him security and hope; it can help you to rear your child to responsible adulthood. Love is the foundation.

In raising children, everything depends on the love relationship between the parent and child. Nothing works well if a child's love needs are not met. Only the child who feels genuinely loved and cared for can do her best. You may truly love your child, but unless she feels it—unless you speak the love language that communicates to her your love—she will not feel loved.

Filling the Emotional Tank

By speaking your child's own love language, you can fill his "emotional tank" with love. When your child feels loved, he is much easier to discipline and train than when his "emotional tank" is running near empty.

Every child has an emotional tank, a place of emotional strength that can fuel him through the challenging days of childhood and adolescence. Just as cars are powered by reserves in the gas tank, our children are fueled from their emotional tanks. We must fill our children's emotional tanks for them to operate as they should and reach their potential.

But with what do we fill these tanks? Love, of course, but love of a particular kind that will enable our children to grow and function properly.

We need to fill our children's emotional tanks with unconditional love, because real love is always unconditional. Unconditional love is a full love that accepts and affirms a child for who he is, not for what he does. No matter what he does (or does not do), the parent still loves him. Sadly, some parents display a love that is conditional; it depends on something other than their children just being. Conditional love is based on performance and is often associated with training techniques that offer gifts, rewards, and privileges to children who behave or perform in desired ways.

Of course, it is necessary to train and discipline our children—but only after their emotional tanks have been filled (and refilled—they can deplete regularly). Only unconditional love can prevent problems such as resentment, feelings of being unloved, guilt, fear, and insecurity. Only as we give our children unconditional love will we be able to deeply understand them and deal with their behaviors, whether good or bad.

Molly remembers growing up in a home of modest financial resources. Her father was employed nearby and her mother was a homemaker, except for a small part-time job. Both parents were hardworking people who took pride in their house and family. Molly's dad cooked the evening meal, and he and Molly cleaned up the kitchen together. Saturday was a day for weekly chores, and Saturday nights they enjoyed hot dogs or burgers together. On Sunday mornings, the family went to church and that evening they would spend time with relatives.

When Molly and her brother were younger, their parents read to them almost every day. Now that they were in school, Mom and Dad encouraged them in their studies. They wanted both children to attend college, even though they did not have this opportunity themselves.

In junior high, one of Molly's friends at school was Stephanie. The two had most classes together and often shared lunch. But the girls didn't visit each other at home. If they had, they would have seen vast differences. Stephanie's father was a successful executive who was able to provide generously for the family. He was also away from home most of the time. Stephanie's mother was a nurse. Her brother was away at a private school. Stephanie had also been sent to a boarding school for three years until she begged to attend the local public school. With her father out of town and her mother working so much, the family often went out for meals.

Molly and Stephanie were good friends until the ninth grade, when Stephanie went off to a college-prep school near her grandparents. The first year, the girls exchanged letters; after that, Stephanie began dating and the letters became less frequent and then stopped. Molly formed other friendships and then started dating a guy who transferred to her school. After Stephanie's family moved away, Molly never heard from her again.

If she had, she would have been sad to know that after marrying and having one child, Stephanie was arrested as a drug dealer and spent several years in prison, during which time her husband left her. In contrast, Molly was happily married with two children.

What made the difference in the outcome of two childhood friends? Although there is no one answer, we can see part of the reason in what Stephanie once told her therapist: "I never felt loved by my parents. I first got involved in drugs because I wanted my friends to like me." In saying this, she wasn't trying to lay blame on her parents as much as she was trying to understand herself.

Did you notice what Stephanie said? It wasn't that her parents didn't love her, but that she did not feel loved. Most parents love their children and also want their children to feel loved, but few know how to adequately convey that feeling. It is only as they learn how to love unconditionally that they will let their children know how much they are truly loved.

A Word of Hope

Raising emotionally healthy children is an increasingly difficult task these days. The influence of media, the cultural push for kids to grow up quickly, the violence and drugs that plague some communities—not to mention the fact that many parents are struggling economically—challenge families daily.

It is into such stark reality that we speak a word of hope to parents. We want you to enjoy a loving relationship with your children. Our focus in this book is on one exceedingly important aspect of parenting—meeting your children's need for love. We have written this book to help you give your children a greater experience of the love you have for them. This will happen as you speak the love languages they understand and can respond to.

Every child has a special way of perceiving love. There are five ways children (indeed, all people) speak and understand emotional love. They are physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service. If you have several children in your family, chances are they speak different languages, for just as children often have different personalities, they may hear in different love languages. Typically, two children need to be loved in different ways.

Whatever love language your child understands best, he needs it expressed in one way—unconditionally. Unconditional love is a guiding light, illuminating the darkness and enabling us as parents to know where we are and what we need to do as we raise our child. Without this kind of love, parenting is bewildering and confusing. Before we explore the five love languages, let's consider the nature and importance of unconditional love.

We can best define unconditional love by showing what it does. Unconditional love shows love to a child no matter what. We love regardless of what the child looks like; regardless of her assets, liabilities, or handicaps; regardless of what we expect her to be; and, most difficult of all, regardless of how she acts. This does not mean that we like all of her behavior. It does mean that we give and show love to our child all the time, even when her behavior is poor.

Does this sound like permissiveness? It is not. Rather, it is doing first things first. A child with a full love tank can respond to parental guidance without resentment.

Some people fear that this may lead to "spoiling" a child, but that is a misconception. No child can receive too much appropriate unconditional love. A child may be "spoiled" by a lack of training or by inappropriate love that gives or trains incorrectly. True unconditional love will never spoil a child because it is impossible for parents to give too much of it.

These principles may be difficult for you because they go against what you have previously thought to be true. If that is the case, you may not find it easy to offer unconditional love to your children. However, as you practice it and then see the benefits, you will find it easier to do. Please hang in there and do what is best for your children, knowing that your love will make the difference between children who are well-adjusted and happy and those who are insecure, angry, inaccessible, and immature.

If you have not loved your children in this way, you may find it difficult at first. But as you practice unconditional love, you will find it has a wonderful effect, as you become a more giving and loving person in all your relationships. No one is perfect, of course, and you cannot expect yourself to love unconditionally all of the time. But as you move toward that goal, you will find that you are more consistent in your ability to love, no matter what.

You may find it helpful to frequently remind yourself of some rather obvious things about your children:

1 They are children. 2 They will tend to act like children.

3 Much childish behavior is unpleasant.

4 If I do my part as a parent and love them, despite their childish behavior, they will mature and give up their childish ways.

(Continues...)



Excerpted from The 5 Love Languages of Children by GARY CHAPMAN ROSS CAMPBELL Copyright © 2012 by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell. Excerpted by permission of Northfield Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Introduction: Speaking Your Child's Love Language 7

1 Love Is the Foundation 13

2 Love Language #1: Physical Touch 31

3 Love Language #2: Words of Affirmation 47

4 Love Language #3: Quality Time 63

5 Love Language #4: Gifts 77

6 Love Language #5: Acts of Service 91

7 How to Discover Your Child's Primary Love Language 109

8 Discipline and the Love Languages 125

9 Learning and the Love Languages 145

10 Anger and Love 159

11 Speaking the Love Languages in Single-parent Families 177

12 Speaking the Love Languages in Marriage 191

Epilogue: What Might Be Is Still Ahead 205

Notes 211

More Help for Parents 212

For Parents and Kids: the Love Language Mystery Game 213

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 83 )
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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 84 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 10, 2004

    Where was this book when my son was two?!!

    This book has been such an eye opener to my husband and I. We have a child with ADHD and this book and prayer has really helped bridge a gap in our relationship with our son. I highly recommend this book to all parents who desire a secret key to their child heart.

    6 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 12, 2011

    Remarkable!!!!

    I've done my research on all kinds of parenting book's and this specific one has it all. I highly recommend this to everyone. My husband doesn't like to hear on how to raise his son or on what he should say to him. He thinks that showing tough love and being strict will work later on but once I told him to try talking to him in his love language which is touch and words of affirmation things will be much easier for everyone. And he did. He couldn't believe the big difference it made.

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 11, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    The Five Love Languages for Children is a book that will help pa

    The Five Love Languages for Children is a book that will help parents better understand what motivates their kids and how to keep them happy.
    There are five topics which everyone understands: physical touch, words of affirmation, giving gifts, acts of service, and quality time. Chapman and Campbell talk a little about each language and how they make us feel.

    Chapman and Campbell have a writing style that is easy to read and engages the reader with it's conversational style. They use several scenarios and examples to highlight the positive effects of speaking one's language.

    The authors take great pains to explain their terminology. There is also a chapter on discipline and how it affects children.

    Chapman and Campbell also take a chapter by chapter look at the defined topics, which I found inspiring to me as a parent. They also look at the challenges a parent might face including divorce and other hardships.

    The authors address the need for a parent to speak the other parent's love languages as well. There is a quiz you can use at the end of the book to help you identify your child's love language.

    The book is an excellent tool in helping parents raise their children and understanding their motivations. The book talked to me, not above me, and it allowed me to explore my own feelings as a parent. I highly recommend this book.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted September 15, 2011

    Great Book

    I have a 4 year old girl and a 7 year old boy. I bought this book at the suggestion of our pediatrition. He also wanted us to go to therapy for our 4 year old. I decided to take the less invasive approach and purchased this book. I am only at the 4th Love Language and it has made a huge difference. I was able to see that even though what I do for them wasn't exactly what they needed. I have since been trying to figure out their love language and have been doing a bit of all of them. It too has helped in my marriage. I admit that I had to change my behavior first and my way of loving them but it has made my 4 year old amazing sweet with fewer angry moments and less fits. For my son it has made him more lovey.

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted February 11, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    A Mom's Choice Awards Recipient!

    Five Love Languages of Children is a recipient of the prestigious Mom's Choice Award. The Mom's Choice Awards® honors excellence in family-friendly media, products and services. An esteemed panel of judges includes education, media and other experts as well as parents, children, librarians, performing artists, producers, medical and business professionals, authors, scientists and others. A sampling of the panel members includes: Dr. Twila C. Liggett, ten-time Emmy-winner, professor and founder of PBS's Reading Rainbow; Julie Aigner-Clark, Creator of Baby Einstein and The Safe Side Project; Jodee Blanco, New York Times best-selling Author; LeAnn Thieman, motivational speaker and coauthor of seven Chicken Soup For The Soul books; and Tara Paterson, Certified Parent Coach and founder of the Mom's Choice Awards. Parents and educators look for the Mom's Choice Awards seal in selecting quality materials and products for children and families.

    3 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 19, 2013

    This is another excellent book by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbe

    This is another excellent book by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell. I enjoyed reading it because it frames interactions between parent and child in a different light. Most parents want to show their children love, but if you are not expressing it in their love language, some of the message might be lost. This book helped me to reassess how I interact with each of my children to make sure love communication is meeting their needs. Previously I read The Four Seasons of Marriage by Chapman which was outstanding with very specific examples of techniques to use in your marriage relationship. I was expecting similar specificity in this book, but it was not as specific. It did give ideas on how to approach discovering your child's love language by asking questions and giving choices, but I would have appreciated more concrete tools. Over all, I think it is another excellent book this these authors!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 19, 2013

    I've heard a lot about the 5 Love Languages book, checked out th

    I've heard a lot about the 5 Love Languages book, checked out their web-site but just haven't read one of the books until now. I am a wife and have two children, The Five Love Languages of Children has really helped me to communicate and discipline in away that is more effective and also helpful in seeing the needs of my husband too even though the book is geared for children. The book is broken down twelve chapters, the first is about the foundation (LOVE) and then the next five chapters is focused on each of the love languages..It provides very detail explanation of each of the love languages along with examples, for me it was a little too much detail, but very informative.
    Chapters 7-10 was my favorite part of the books since it dealt with how to figure out your child’s love language, how to best discipline, how to best learn, and how curb anger. At the end of the book there are some suggestions for games to play with older children to help find their love language.I would definitely recommend this book, especially for the discipline part it was worth it for me.
    *I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of this review.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 16, 2013

    Very Christian

    When purchasing this book, I was unaware that it would be so Christian based. It is filled with quotes from the new testament. Being of a faith that is not Christian, I find the frequent references to Jesus and the apostles unnecessary and less enjoyable to read.

    1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 8, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    An outstanding parenting resource! We all understand the import

    An outstanding parenting resource!

    We all understand the importance of loving our children and showing them how much they are loved, but did you know that there are ways of showing our children love that really speak volumes to them and their heart? It's true, just like there are languages that speak to the adult hearts, our children have different needs that show them that we truly love them. Each has a unique language that speaks love to them.

    This is why often times we may bend over backwards as a parent and our children still look at us, telling us that they desperately need to feel our love. What is happening is that we aren't speaking the same languages that they need. There are 5 love languages that speak to our children and sometimes there is a combination that works well for our kids. Some love Words of Affirmation, being told what a great job they are doing, how much we love and care for them, acknowledgement that we see what they are doing and praising them. While for yet other children, Acts of Service, speaks to their hearts, such as doing kind deeds for them, taking them to lunch, or a ball game, just spending time with them, and yet another is Physical Touch. These are the children who thrive on hugs and kisses and touch instead of words or actions by us.

    Authors Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell have collaborated to help parents speak the language of love our children so desperately need to hear in their book, The 5 Love Languages of Children. In this book not only do they break down each of these in detail, but it also includes a game to help both parents and children understand what works well for them. This way we can speak love to our children without being frustrated on both ends. It can also help us discipline our children more effectively when it needs to be addressed. This is a must read for anyone who deals with children, whether it be parents, grandparents and even child care givers or teachers!

    I received this book compliments of Propeller and Northfield Publishing for my honest review and learning so much about the love languages when it comes to adults, this seemed a natural for me to read as a parent. So many times with multiple children we try not to appear to favor one child over the other but often times find our actions frustrating when they don't respond as we would hope. This book really helps to identify what works for each child. I rate this one a 5 out of 5 stars and seeing it benefiting even teachers who may be frustrated in reaching children who are struggling with learning. This book speak volumes to the hearts of our children.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 20, 2007

    A reviewer

    This is an exceptional book. I have two children. Ages 20 and 6. I began using principles right away and both of my children have responded w/more love... I am more loving and they are too. What a blessing!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 16, 2003

    Excellent book, will change your life

    This book was very instrumental in helping me and my husband forge deeper and more meaningful relationships with our children through better understanding what really makes them tick and how they receive and give love. It helped us to realize what was missing in our own childhoods and how we could change those mistakes of the past in our own family. It also helped us deepen our love and understanding of each other as a couple. I also recommend the workbook that goes with it. It really helps provide some excellent tools for finding your kids love language and how to 'speak' that language so they really 'hear' you.

    1 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 8, 2013

    Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell team up to take The 5 Love Langua

    Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell team up to take The 5 Love Languages to children. This book offers a description of each love language, characteristics of children that show a preference for that love language, how parents can demonstrate each particular love language, tips for how to assess what your child's love language is, and a questionnaire to assist parents in assessing their child's love language.

    This is another excellent book by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell. I enjoyed reading it because it frames interactions between parent and child in a different light. Most parents want to show their children love, but if you are not expressing it in their love language, some of the message might be lost. This book helped me to reassess how I interact with each of my children to make sure love communication is meeting their needs. I have read many books by Gary Chapman and I am a fan of how clear and easy to use his tips are. This book is not as specific as Chapman's book, The Four Seasons of Marriage, but it is still a great book.

    I like the suggestions for discovering your child's love language by asking questions and giving choices to determine their preferences. I also think it is helpful for parents to become aware of their own love language, especially when it is different from their child's love language. The ideas at the end of each chapter give parents a good starting point to start speaking their child's love language, especially if it is not their primary love language.

    I think it is another excellent book by these authors. If you are a parent, grandparent, or anyone who interacts with children, this book would be helpful in helping you identify their love language and meeting their needs.

    I received a copy of this book from Moody Publishers in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

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  • Posted May 3, 2013

    Every Parent Should Own This Book!

    I'm still reading the book, I've taken my time to absorb the content as well as apply it to my daily life. I think this book is definitely going to be a life changer for my children and I.

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  • Posted November 8, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    Love in Every Language This book not only fully explains the co

    Love in Every Language

    This book not only fully explains the concepts and provides a means of identification, but also practical and useful common sense ways of showing love to your children in all five love languages. There is also a further reading guide to help continue your education. I personally do not agree with every concept brought up in this book, but I do agree with the overall theme. I believe if all parents could make their children feel loved it would cut down on a lot of problems in our society. This will be a continuing mainstay of my library and periodically be reread to remind me of the kind of parent I want to be and my children need.

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  • Posted October 23, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    Helpful read!

    I feel this book is a useful tool when gathering insight on how to become a better parent. It was a bit repetitive but still very much worth it.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted September 23, 2012

    I rarely read a book twice, but when I was given the opportunity

    I rarely read a book twice, but when I was given the opportunity to receive a free copy of the 2012 Edition of The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell for review, I was eager to do so, particularly since my daughter was so young the first time I read it that I could not determine her love language at the time. Too be honest, even with the Love Language Mystery Game to help determine a child's love language, I still cannot be sure of my daughter's even though she is old enough that I should be able to do so. There is nothing wrong with the concepts described in the book, I think it is just that my daughter seems pretty balanced as she receives all five gratefully and gives all five as well, which I believe suggests that her father and I successfully have been keeping her "emotional tank" full most of the time.

    The book proposes that as loving as parents may try to be, a child may believe his parents love him, but may not feel loved because the parents are not speaking in the child's love language. While one child may be happy with a gift when the father comes home from a business trip, another child may not feel loved by getting a gift because his love language is quality time. This book helps parents to determine which of the five love languages--physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, or acts of service--a child appreciates and needs the most as well as how the parent can help the child to feel loved. It also stresses that every child needs all five, but one will be predominate.

    I highly recommend this book for all parents, particularly those who are having difficulties with their children, but it is beneficial even to those who think they have happy, loving children. Probably just as important as understanding how to speak in the child's love language is how to discipline with love without causing damage to the parent-child relationship by using a type of punishment that empties the emotional tank; a chapter is devoted to this subject.

    If you are like me and have a 1997 Edition, let me explain the main differences I noticed between the two books, besides the change in the cover. The earlier edition often referred to keeping the emotional tank full would help to avoid drug use and teenage sexual promiscuity, which was not in the latest edition. In the 2012 Edition, there were some updated statistics and reference to a book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua that was published in January 2011. Some of the names in the stories had been changed to more popular names at the time of the rewrite. The most notable addition was the list of suggestions to speak the child's love language at the end of each corresponding chapter. Otherwise, there were only minor editing changes here and there. I did think that the hand print in the heart on the cover of the first edition was a better depiction than the green rubber boots with flowers, but that is a minor point.

    I received this book for free from Moody Publishers in exchange for my honest review.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 29, 2012

    Great read.

    This is a must read for every parent. It provided me with amazing insight about my child.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 15, 2012

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 1, 2012

    This book gave me much insight. In fact, as they are growing and

    This book gave me much insight. In fact, as they are growing and maturing, I think it is time to read it again.

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  • Posted April 14, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    People are different in each and every aspect of their being. A

    People are different in each and every aspect of their being. And children are people. They are not "little adults" and they are not a different species. And every has needs - children, young adults, adults. And one of those very real needs is to be loved and to experience love.

    About the book: To be their best, children need to feel loved. But if you and your child speak different love languages, your affection might get lost in translation, affecting the child’s attitude, behavior, and development. Dr. Gary Chapman’s groundbreaking Five Love Languages series has helped millions of couples communicate love more clearly, and Dr. Ross Campbell M.D. has applied the innovative system to children as well. The 5 Love Languages of Children gives practical suggestions for learning how your children interpret love and creating a sense of security in which they can thrive.

    And just as each and every person's individuality is different, the specific need and way to experience love is different. Co-authors Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell define these as the "love languages." Mr. Chapman has written several books to assist in understanding one another's love languages. "The 5 Love Languages of Children" gives parents and other caregivers of children insight into the how and why you need to learn these love languages to better understand, teach, love, and discipline your child so that he or she will grow into the person God has ordained him or her to be.

    Let's take a quick look at them.
    Physical Touch
    Words of Affirmation
    Quality Time
    Gifts
    Acts of Service

    Godly discipline is also addressed in the book and how it has a positive affect on your child's development whereas to discipline in anger has a definitively negative affect on the child.

    "We can prime our child's learning pump by continually filling his emotional tank." (pg. 148)

    Another good point that the author makes is, "It does not make good sense to demand good behavior from a child without first making sure he feels loved." (pg. 130)

    This book, "The 5 Love Languages of Children" can be used along with the author's children's version that reinforces the same thoughts - "The Perfect Pet for Peyton" which is also review here on Chat With Vera.

    If parents and caregivers desire to understand their child and desire to better their understanding of the child's love language, I recommend they acquire a copy of this book and implement the points Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell outline.
    DISCLOSURE: I was provided a complimentary copy of "The 5 Love Languages for Children" by Northfield Publishing, the authors, and Fly By Promotions in exchange for an honest review.

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