Flying Changes
  • Flying Changes
  • Flying Changes

Flying Changes

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by Sara Gruen

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Anxiety rules Annemarie Zimmer's days—the fear that her relationship with the man she loves is growing stagnant; the fear that equestrian daughter Eva's dreams of Olympic glory will carry her far away from her mother . . . and into harm's way. For five months, Annemarie has struggled to make peace with her past. But if she cannot let go, the personal battles

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Anxiety rules Annemarie Zimmer's days—the fear that her relationship with the man she loves is growing stagnant; the fear that equestrian daughter Eva's dreams of Olympic glory will carry her far away from her mother . . . and into harm's way. For five months, Annemarie has struggled to make peace with her past. But if she cannot let go, the personal battles she has won and the heights she has achieved will have all been for naught.

It is a time of change at Maple Brook horse farm, when loves must be confronted head-on and fears must be saddled and broken. But it is an unanticipated tragedy that will most drastically alter the fragile world of one remarkable family—even as it flings open gates that have long confined them, enabling them all to finally ride headlong and free.

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HarperCollins Publishers
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5.30(w) x 7.90(h) x 1.10(d)

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Flying Changes

By Sara Gruen

HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

Copyright © 2005 Sara Gruen
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0060790954

Chapter One

I awake with a start -- one moment I'm riding Harry, my zephyr half, my phantom boy, and the next my eyelids flicker and I'm staring at the ceiling. When I realize I'm not on his back at all -- I'm huddled under an eiderdown in the freezing bedroom of the apartment above my mother's stable -- I close my eyes and lie perfectly still, trying to coax him to stay. But it's no use -- his body dissolves, the reins melt in my hands, and he gallops off, ephemeral as breath on the wind. I move not a muscle, listening as his hoofbeats fade into the ether.

I hear them. I swear to God I do.

Harry wafts into my sleep with a regularity that's astounding considering how effectively he used to elude me. For years after his death I longed for him so badly that I'd squeeze my eyes shut at night and cycle endlessly through visions of him -- Harry, with his head high and nostrils flared, cantering through a meadow; Harry, sniffing the wind, his ears perked and chest as solid as bedrock; Harry, flinging those magnificent brindled limbs forward like a Saddlebred -- hoping they'd seed a dream.

But they never did. No matter how fiercely I clung to him, at the critical juncture when I lost control he'd slip away to wherever he was, whatever was left, in that place I wasn't allowed. The few times he did come to me were unbidden and horrifying, and always at the precise moment he crashed to his death beneath me all those years ago.

No more. Now he comes to me in plain view, healthy and whole. And I'm thirty-nine, not eighteen. Sometimes I'm on his back and we're cantering through fields of swaying grass. Sometimes I'm standing at his shoulder and he's blowing into my hand, rumbling a greeting from deep within his chest. Sometimes we're even taking fences, one after another in perfect rhythm.

More than two decades gone, and he looms as large in my dreamscape as he did in my life.

A psychologist would probably say that he's always been there and it's only now that I'm letting him come. That I am finally at the point where I can think about him without falling to pieces. This is what I think a psychologist would say. But I can't be sure, because I won't see one.

Both Mutti and Dan have suggested it, separately, although for the life of me I can't figure out why. Both times my reaction was a combination of sputtering indignation and hurt tinged with anger. That, and an instant replaying of all my recent actions and comments to try to discover why, exactly, everybody around me always thinks I'm nuts. But I must confess that later -- in the privacy of my room, when there was no longer any need to feel defensive -- I found the idea intriguing. Not intriguing enough to actually consider it, of course, but intriguing enough that I began trying to guess what a psychologist would make of me. It's probably not the healthiest pastime for someone who already analyzes things to shreds, but there it is and there's no stopping it. You can't pluck an idea out like you can a sliver.

But while Pseudo-Psychologist Me has decided that my dreams are filled to overflowing with Harry because finding his brother has allowed me to heal, there's another part of me that believes in some way I cannot define and would never admit to that Harry has found a way to come back to me, is giving me his blessing, is glad I have Hurrah safely in a box stall beneath me.

I hug my pillow and sigh, my heart swollen and tender as if I've dreamed of a lover. It's a feeling that will take the length of the day to wear off, and I'm grateful.

It is his gift to me.

I dress quickly, hunched against the cold. I left the window open a crack last night, and my breath comes in puffs as I pull on my jeans, sweater, and quilted vest. I pause at the door and then go back to my dresser to drag a brush through my scraggly hair. I'll make myself properly presentable later, but at nearly forty you don't just roll out of bed and go even if you're not expecting to run into anyone. Particularly if you have a sixteen-year-old daughter who is mortified when, as Eva puts it, she catches me "looking like a sea hag."

I cleaned my brush only the day before yesterday, but it is once again full of hair. The tangled mess rips free with a noise like Velcro opening. I examine it, analyzing the white-to-blonde ratio. Still mostly blonde, thank God -- although I have to hold a couple of the hairs up to the light to make sure. Then I lean forward and peer into the mirror, studying both hair and face for general impressions.

A minute later I hurry down the stairs, booted feet thumping the wood. The main floor of the stable is even colder than the apartment. It's heated, but not to house standards because the horses go out without blankets and we don't want to compromise their winter coats. I rub my hands together, hoping to warm them by friction. I slip into the lounge, which is heated separately, twist the thermostat to a sizzling seventy-four degrees, and start a pot of coffee.

And now, for my early morning tonic.

Three or four times a week, fresh from dreams of his brother, I slip downstairs and ride Hurrah. I ride other horses during the day, usually in the context of giving a lesson and finding it easier to show rather than tell, but never Hurrah. Hurrah I ride in private.


Excerpted from Flying Changes by Sara Gruen Copyright © 2005 by Sara Gruen.
Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Flying Changes 4 out of 5 based on 2 ratings. 130 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
AMAZING!!!!! best book ever. This book is so inspiring. This is the best book i think i have ever read. Sara Gruen is an outstading author. MAKE A THIRD BOOK!!!!!!
BigGreyandShay More than 1 year ago
This book was amazing and irrestiable!!! I could not put it down. People of all ages would enjoy it. I am 13 years old and loved it!!! I let all my friends read it too. they all enjoyed it(even the ones that don't ride) I read this book before I read Riding Lessons. You can really understand it if you don't read the prequl first. I can't wait to go to the store and buy Riding Lessons!!! :) I am a book-worm and this is a must-have book!!! Everyone can relate to Eva and bad choices that she made or her mom. This book really shows you how strong the bond between horse and rider really is. This is one of those feel-good books that makes you want to have your chance to fly and be fearless.
Hafhalt More than 1 year ago
Better then the first book "Riding Lessons".. Be sure to read Riding Lessons before reading Flying Changes.
AllysMom More than 1 year ago
I enjoyed this book very much but I am a horse person and have a very good understanding of the terminology. Someone who hasn't riden may not always understand what the author is describing but the story is still a good one and the horse vernacular shouldn't be too distracting. Some aspects of th plot aren't developed fully and I found that annoying. Definitely for woman, and those with teenage daughters will find it easy to relate.
Guest More than 1 year ago
The complex relationship between three generations of women is artfully explored in this novel. So many women will relate to this! Gruen's obvious knowledge of horses adds a great deal to the story as well!
lec1727 More than 1 year ago
This book has a good story line, believable characters, and I would definitely recommend.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This was a great rainy day book. I found the characters interesting and could not put the book down.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I could not put it down! This could describe so many women's lives. It shows that even when you think you're a grown up, you still have a lot of growing up to do!
Guest More than 1 year ago
Great sequal to the equally great book Riding Lessons. I recomend this book to anyone who has a passion for horses.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is the most wonderful book, phenominal. I've read many books and have been riding since I was 5 and this book touched my heart. A story of grasping on to life pulling yourself together and showing you can do anything your heart desires I love it!
Guest More than 1 year ago
In Flying Changes, the sequel to debut novel Riding Lessons, Sara Gruen continues the story of Annemarie Zimmer and her headstrong daughter, Eva, who is determined to chase her dream of equestrian success despite her mother¿s misgivings. Again, Gruen is pitch-perfect in her portrayal of this turbulent mother-daughter dynamic, and it¿s a credit to the author¿s deft touch that the reader remains invested in her characters even when¿especially when¿they¿re behaving badly. The riding scenes with Eva and her gorgeous Nokota horse, Smoky Joe, are breathtakingly executed: 'They are flying. Joe¿s powerful body is pounding the footing so hard it flies up in chunks behind him. His muscles are so defined he looks like separate pieces you could take apart and reassemble, like Lego. He barrels toward that jump like nobody¿s business and Eva is right there with him, pumping her arms with each thrust of his head.' Several juicy subplots involving Annemarie¿s loves, both past and present, propel the story to a conclusion at once tragic and redeeming. Gruen is a hugely talented writer, and her saga of this exceptional family is so authentic and richly textured they seem like people you¿ve known for years. The series would make a spectacular movie!
Guest More than 1 year ago
Once again, Sara Gruen has written a gritty, powerful novel that continues where the debut novel RIDING LESSONS left off. I loved the first novel so much, I could hardly wait for this sequel. I could not put it down. She starts the novel off with a bang and although Annemarie has grown considerably and her relationship with her daughter has somewhat improved...there is still a lot of work to be done.... It was great that the same characters were in the novel, and they have all grown in some way. But again, things seem to be better and once again, tragedy occurs. How will they handle it? Well, you'll have to read the novel to find out! I will say that Sara Gruen has out done herself again, and you can tell she did her research, especially about NH! I am a NH Native and it was great to read a novel set in my home State, that included many of our little nuances and our old houses/barns and even our Old Man of the Mountain! This novel also introduced another horse I had never heard of before reading it. The Nokota, which are a wild breed that there are not many left of. I learned about them on the authors website. Sara writes so well, that the books play like movies in my head! This makes the novel move so quickly, that you can not believe your at the end when you are! I was once again moved to laugh, cry and otherwise sob and I could feel every emotion that Annemarie went through, as if I was there myself and going through it with her. I was once again left with some questions and I really hope that she does a third book. I would love to see where this family goes and what happens next! If you love horses and strong, but realistic women characters and storylines, you have to read this book. I am suggesting that my 13 year old daughter read it too! She loves horses and the daughter Eva in this story sounds a lot like my daughter at times.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Another good read by Sara Gruen.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great book. It has loads of humor & real life tragedy. Strong characters & horses! Highly recomend.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Very interesting
JoyCReads More than 1 year ago
If you love horses, and specifically the world of show horses, you will enjoy this book. I believe if you are not a horse person you will have a harder time relating to the characters and situations. I love horses, but actually enjoyed Sara Gruen's "Water for Elephants" much more than "Riding Lessons" or "Flying Changes". Worth reading though!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I love this author. Everything I have read by her so far is wonderful. I really could relate to the main character in a lot of ways. She understands people so well. Im going to go read ape house.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This was a really good book and as someone whos been riding my whole life (well, im 13 but ive had riding lessons since i was 6) i can kinda relate to it. I didnt realize that there was a book before this until after i finished it, but im excited to read the first one now! I finished this book in a day, and stayed up all night doing so I AM A TOTAL BOOKWORM
Kristen81 More than 1 year ago
This was a great follow up to Riding Lessons. Good read! I have found a new author to add to my favorites.
MBastien More than 1 year ago
Slow beginning, but quickly fell in love with the characters and their plight. Although riddled with horse jargon, this story is one that will leave you asking, "Could I do that?" and "Can we create our own happiness?"
DebiG More than 1 year ago
The ending was good, and somewhat unexpected, but there were portions of the plot that seemed to merely waste pages.
readzalot More than 1 year ago
If I read this book first I would not have read Water for elephants. I was disappointed expecting a better story but instead it was written like an inexperienced author. The story line was like a soap opera and the main character was weak. Was not an attention grabber.
NancyChase More than 1 year ago
My friend gave this book for my birthday. We are both avid readers and she knew that I had read Sara Gruen's "Riding Lessons". I really enjoyed that book and I was delighted to receive the sequel, Flying Changes. With eager eyes I sat down that evening and read the book (well almost, I finished it up the following evening). It goes without saying that Ms. Gruen is a wonderful storyteller and she continued that ability in this story. I'm not expert on horses, but I thought that in this book she created a moving story with well crafted settings and high emotions. Annemarie, the single mother, pain is just one example. I found I could easily relate to the story and the characters. The ending wrapped everything with no loose ends and there's never a dull moment in this moving story.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
boring! Nothing like Water for Elephants
Guest More than 1 year ago
i hate reading but i loved this book... not only did it include my favorite things (horses and romance) but it was also well written... i'm reading another book about horses and it isn't nearly as good. i think this book would appeal to even those without horse obsessions.