Flying Lessons: 122 Strategies for Equipping Your Child to Face Life With Confidence and Competence

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Overview

Flying Lessons shows parents how to enhance their child's mental game using targeted activities, which were developed over 15 years of working with children. These exercises teach values such as setting and achieving goals, team building, fair play, and personal responsibility.

This book equips kids with the same techniques being taught to adults by executive or life coaches. These are the skills and techniques parents want their children to learn in a fun, non-threatening and ...

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Flying Lessons: 122 Strategies to Equip Your Child to Soar into Life with Confidence and Competence

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Overview

Flying Lessons shows parents how to enhance their child's mental game using targeted activities, which were developed over 15 years of working with children. These exercises teach values such as setting and achieving goals, team building, fair play, and personal responsibility.

This book equips kids with the same techniques being taught to adults by executive or life coaches. These are the skills and techniques parents want their children to learn in a fun, non-threatening and effective way. The lasting impact of the author's approach is that children respond like champions in every aspect of their day-and for the rest of their lives. Chapters include:

  • Talk Yourself Into Greatness
  • Direct Your Own Mental Movies
  • Act Like a Star
  • Carbon Copy Greatness
  • Fill Your Mind with Moments of Gold
  • Pen a Babe of a Nickname
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781401603373
  • Publisher: Nelson, Thomas, Inc.
  • Publication date: 7/31/2007
  • Pages: 192
  • Product dimensions: 6.52 (w) x 9.02 (h) x 0.51 (d)

Meet the Author

Gregg Steinberg, PhD, is an associate professor of sports psychology at Austin Peay State University. As a practitioner and internationally known speaker in this field, he is a guest speaker on television. He wrote MentalRules for Golf, and is the associate editor for the Journal of Sport Behavior.
He is the head sports psychologist for the United States Golf Teacher
Federation and has consulted with many college teams and professional athletes on the mental game.
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Read an Excerpt

FLYING LESSONS

122 Strategies to Equip Your Child to Soar into Life with Competence and Confidence
By Gregg Steinberg

Thomas Nelson

Copyright © 2007 Gregg Steinberg
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4016-0337-3


Chapter One

Discover Your Vision

Driving to spring training from New York, the famous baseball player and manager Yogi Berra and his wife were terribly late. They were driving all night and Yogi's wife fell fast asleep. To make up for lost time, Yogi took a shortcut that eventually turned into a dirt road, with more dirt than road. His wife suddenly awoke, very startled, and said to Yogi, "Honey, I think we are lost." Yogi, always equipped with pearls of wisdom, returned, "Yeah, but we are making great time."

Without vision, you may get somewhere, but most likely it will be a "somewhere" you don't want. However, once you discover your vision, it becomes the neon sign for guiding you to the correct path.

Vision is what drove Christopher Reeve to success as well as inspired him through his tragedies. Starting as a trained theatrical actor, he captured one of the most coveted roles in the 1970s-Superman. His rise to fame was fierce and he played many other roles that propelled him to the top of the Hollywood game.

Then tragedy occurred. During an equestrian competition, his horse stopped ata jump and Reeve fell off. He landed wrong and cracked his vertebrae at the top of his neck. His injury was so severe that he became paralyzed from the neck down. He could not even breathe without a ventilator.

But Christopher Reeve did not give up. Recalling the great visionaries he admired (including President Franklin D. Roosevelt, who challenged his scientific community to find a vaccination for polio during his presidency), Reeve decided to make his own visionary statement. At age forty-three, Reeve said he would stand up and make a cheer at his fiftieth birthday party.

This vision guided his every move. Tirelessly, he made speeches around the globe encouraging people to give money for spinal cord research. He was a man dedicated to help find a cure.

Unfortunately, by his fiftieth birthday, the research had not progressed enough for him to stand and toast his friends and family. Even sadder was his death at age fifty-two of a heart attack. But his memory is the inspiration that drives many to continue his vision.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if your children could have a vision as powerful as Christopher Reeve's that guides their everyday actions? Wouldn't it be great if your children could have a life dream that gives them direction? What if your child could have a purpose that creates boundless energy?

Most parents want their children to have a powerful vision for their life rather than float aimlessly throughout their years. This type of guidance, however, is one of the most difficult parental tasks. The following activities can help your child to develop a vision as well as find a life path.

Develop a Purpose Statement

Almost four hundred years ago, John Donne wrote, "Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

Today, many people are concerned with giving back to society. One of those is Coach Joe Paterno of Penn State. He is one of the most successful college football coaches of all time. Coach Paterno usually had a winning season, and so had many temptations and many offers to leave for more money.

In 1972, Paterno was content at Penn State, but making only $35,000. Then the phone call came. Bill Sullivan, the president and principal owner of the New England Patriots, offered Paterno more than $1 million if he would coach his team. He would also get part ownership and $100,000 as a signing bonus. Even by today's standards, that is a lot of money and a great contract.

Coach Paterno turned down that golden contract, however. He realized that money was not what drove him. He loves to win, but he believes in something greater than victories on the gridiron. His purpose in life is to help young adults grow in both their personal discipline as well as their educational development. This purpose statement has been his beacon for more than forty years.

To help your child discover her path, ask her to write her own purpose statement. A purpose statement is a statement about what she believes would give meaning to her life. Here are a few questions to guide your child:

Who do you admire and why? What have been some great contributions to our world? What do you see as meaningful? Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten years? Twenty years? What contributions would you like to make to the world?

Find Your Values

"I do not want to have the finer things in life," wrote Martin Luther King Jr. "All I want is to leave behind a committed life." Martin Luther King Jr. valued a committed life, a life dedicated to helping others gain their civil rights.

What does your child value?

Have him make a list of his values. These may include sports, civil rights, writing and speaking well, money. Do not judge what he writes, but let him construct his own list.

Discover a Career Direction

Now that your child has accomplished two essential tasks (writing a purpose statement and writing a list of his values), the steps to discovering his path will become apparent. More importantly, these two items can help your child choose the right college major and pick a meaningful career. (While this activity can be used at any age, it may be more appropriate for teens.)

First, have your son write down five college majors or training programs that he believes he may pursue, such as psychology, business, or art. Then have him list five possible career choices that he finds attractive, such as counseling, sales, or interior design.

Next, discuss together how his choices (for a field of study as well as a career) line up with his purpose and values. The majors and careers that match up easily are the most appropriate choices. If one leads to another, without any difficulty, then these are great choices. For instance, if your son values compassion, then being a counselor would line up easily. Or if your daughter values creativity, then being an artist or interior designer is a good fit.

Conversely, those choices that have to be bent and pushed to fit with your child's purpose and values should be abandoned, because they will not work in the long term. For example, if your son values material wealth, being a teacher may not work. As a rule, teachers are not highly paid com- pared to other professions. While teaching is a noble profession, it may be difficult in the long term for someone who wants to make a lot of money.

Once your child has identified what is essential to him, his path will become apparent.

Chapter Two

Find Your Zone

Sally was nervous but well prepared for the "young investigator" contest at her school. Winning this contest would mean $500 toward a college scholarship.

Sally had researched her new idea all summer long. Sally was fascinated with the fear of the number thirteen that plagues many people in our society. She had read in a book that this fear, triskaidekaphobia, stems from the Last Supper. There were twelve apostles at the Last Supper: Jesus was the thirteenth person at the table. Henceforth, people believe that bad tidings are often associated with that particular number.

As she started her presentation, her nervousness subsided. Although she was presenting to her fellow students and many of her teachers, she felt a sense of calmness. As she spoke, every word came out crisply. The sentences seemed to roll off her tongue with ease. While the talk felt like it lasted a minute, she actually spoke for twelve. She greatly enjoyed the experience and did not want her talk to end.

Sally was experiencing "the zone." Some people call it a peak experience while others call it flow. Nevertheless, this zone is the magical place where everything seems to go just right-a place we long to be but rarely reach. Every athlete, student, musician, and businessperson longs to perform in the zone state.

Athletes describe the zone with mystical tones. Lance Armstrong, the famed cyclist, said that when he finds the zone, the bike is an extension of his body. Magic Johnson, the all-star Laker, said that when he found the zone, everyone on the court was in slow motion except for him. Barry Bonds, the home-run king, proclaims that the baseball looks bigger and the seams on the baseball are clearer when he enters the zone state.

The zone happens in all settings. Real estate mogul Donald Trump says that when things go well in a business negotiation, he gets into the zone. Writers can get into the zone as well. When this occurs, the stories seem to write themselves with little effort. Teachers report that they are in the zone when their students are listening intently to every word.

Of course, parents would like to help their children find this state as often as possible. While there is no one secret to finding the zone, a major key is self-awareness. Children need to be aware of what factors contributed to getting them into the zone. Once discovered, they need to replicate those behaviors and thoughts. Then their chances increase of finding the zone again. The following drills show parents how to get their children into this elusive state as often as possible.

Know Thyself

As Shakespeare wrote, "Know thyself." Our children need to know what factors led to a previous zone state.

To help your daughter develop a greater sense of awareness, ask her to describe a peak performance (zone) experience that she has had in the past. If she never had a peak experience, ask her to describe a time in which she performed well. This experience could be in music, sports, or at school. Ask her first to write down the day and place of the event. Then ask these guiding questions:

Did you do anything special before this event? (Did you have a big breakfast? Did you prepare a lot before the event? Was the event really important?) What were your feelings during the event? (Were you excited? Nervous? Energized?) What were you thinking during the event? (Were you confident? Were you unsure of yourself?) Were there any special circumstances during the event? (Were you alone? Was there an audience? Was the coach yelling at you?)

These questions act as a roadmap for your daughter to find her zone experiences again. For instance, from this exercise, your daughter may have discovered that she gets into the zone when confidence is high, and she is calm yet energized. These factors, then, should be replicated when your daughter wants to find the zone.

Know Why You Choke

Not only do we need to find out what makes us perform at our best, but we also need to discover what contributes to our worst experiences. Some people call this a choking experience.

To help your daughter avoid the choke as often as possible, ask her to recall a time she performed her worst. Ask her to describe that event to you. Next, ask her very similar questions to those about the zone experience, but relate them to a choking experience.

Did you do anything special before this event? (Did you have a big breakfast? Did you prepare a lot before the event? Was the event really important?) What were your feelings during the event? (Were you excited? Nervous? Energized?) What were you thinking during the event? (Were you confident? Were you unsure of yourself?) Were there any special circumstances during the event? (Were you alone? Was there an audience? Was the coach yelling at you?)

These questions create a roadmap for your daughter to know what thoughts and feelings to avoid. For example, she may perform her worst when she is nervous, ill prepared, and does not care about the event. These factors, then, should be avoided and these emotions replaced with more positive ones.

Develop a Zone Log

The zone experience is unique for everyone: Your son may need to be pumped up while your daughter needs to remain calm. Everyone needs to create their own personal roadmap to the zone.

The Know Thyself drill on page 8 focuses awareness of the zone experience on only one event. While that is vital, you also should ask your child to begin a zone log. This log focuses on numerous peak performance experiences.

Buy a small notebook, about two inches by four inches, and have your daughter write down every zone experience she has, all year. Each time she is in the zone, she should record the time and place of the event. Also, have her record the thoughts and feelings that were associated with each zone event.

This zone log has many benefits. First, it helps reveal any patterns in your daughter's zone experiences. Second, when your daughter is not playing well or just not feeling great about her game or skill, she can look at this zone log for a quick mental lift. While this book will only cost pennies, it is worth its weight in gold. (Perhaps Olympic gold some day!)

(Continues...)



Excerpted from FLYING LESSONS by Gregg Steinberg Copyright © 2007 by Gregg Steinberg. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 30, 2013

    Firekit and Lightkit

    Firekit burst in bringing Starkit in with Lightkit flying behind. He licked Starkit's ears. "You ok?" He purred. /\&starf/\ <br>
    <p>

    "I think Hawkpaw is how they've been able to find you." Lightpaw hissed. "What a je<_>rk! ~hearts~

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 3, 2008

    A reviewer

    This has some great information for parents. Very user friendly and my child loved it.

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