Flying Starfish of Death: a Beach Slapped Humor Collection (2008)

( 14 )

Overview

One flying starfish of death and life on the beach has never been the same; Barton Grover Howe can prove it. The beginning of his weekly need to leave Americans "Beach Slapped," in his newspaper column, he's got all the stories of life in the Pacific Northwest that matter. His wife's crazed driving habits ("She's from New Jersey, where cussing out the guy next to you isn't so much rude as it is a preemptive strike."); tips for getting through airport screening during the busy holiday season ("Nothing says you're ...
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Flying Starfish of Death: A Beach Slapped Humor Collection (2008)

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Overview

One flying starfish of death and life on the beach has never been the same; Barton Grover Howe can prove it. The beginning of his weekly need to leave Americans "Beach Slapped," in his newspaper column, he's got all the stories of life in the Pacific Northwest that matter. His wife's crazed driving habits ("She's from New Jersey, where cussing out the guy next to you isn't so much rude as it is a preemptive strike."); tips for getting through airport screening during the busy holiday season ("Nothing says you're not an Islamic Fundamentalist terrorist like carrying a 12-pound honey-glazed pile of pig meat onto the plane."); and questioning the methods of sanctimonious supermarket environmentalists ("Where do they take their cloth bags from the store? Their cars. If they were serious they'd be going home on a llama.").

So join Amazon.com best-selling author Barton Grover Howe as he tells the real-life story of the world's first homicidal starfish ... and just gets funnier from there.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781478337164
  • Publisher: CreateSpace Publishing
  • Publication date: 8/3/2012
  • Pages: 176
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.50 (h) x 0.41 (d)

Meet the Author

Barton Grover Howe resides in the only small town on the Oregon coast that has seven miles of coastline and not one boat dock. A high school teacher, his students don't find him near as funny as he thinks they should - much like their parents, who use teacher conferences to tell him they have no idea what he's talking about half the time in his weekly humor column. On the plus side, he is married to the most patient woman on Earth and is father to the cutest daughter in the universe, who got all of her looks from her mother.
In addition to writing a weekly humor column, Barton is also an Amazon Top 10 best-selling novelist, bringing his weird sense of humor to tell the stories of Surfland, Oregon. The fictional home for the wet and weird, his first novel, "Beach Slapped" takes readers on an adventure that's been called by reviewers a "well written, tightly plotted romp."
"Move over Carl Hiaasen, Tim Dorsey, Dave Barry and all the other Florida humor satire writers. There's a new voice and a very accomplished one... Howe does for the Oregon Coast what Hiaasen and the others have done for Florida."
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 14 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(10)

4 Star

(1)

3 Star

(1)

2 Star

(1)

1 Star

(1)

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Sort by: Showing all of 14 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 8, 2012

    Excellent

    A good and hilarious read. I garuntee you will enjoy it. Buy.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 23, 2012

    Outstanding

    The best book in the world say i you can make money with this book.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted March 27, 2012

    A well written and very funny book of assorted short stories bas

    A well written and very funny book of assorted short stories based upon the writer's life experiences and observations.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 3, 2012

    Fill

    In the blank

    1 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 12, 2013

    Hannah

    Go to luxury and post your bio at res 1)

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 12, 2013

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 12, 2013

    Angela

    Awwwwwwwwww. ;(

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted December 12, 2013

    Sally

    Sally grinned. She had her black hair into two naughty pigtails. Her blue eyes wild. She had on a five piece (lol jk just a bra on...and yes...no panties to cover up) on....

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 14, 2012

    Fair

    Mildly amusing, he thinks he's funnier than he is

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 12, 2012

    Shadownight

    Heput his muzzle into her fur. Dont worry cheer up. Lets go home. He licked her tears of joy streaming down his streak then he started to cry

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 12, 2012

    Ivystream

    Ok. She meowed feeling a little better. Ill race u there! Read, set, GO! She raced past him and dissapered into the trees.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 6, 2012

    To fern

    Hey nice pu ssy

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 4, 2012

    I was cracking up reading the sample

    Wish I had 6 bucks!!!!!!!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 15, 2012

    Clever

    But some are a bit overdone. Still worth the time

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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