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A heartwarming, intimate and amusing memoir of a father's experience raising his autistic son.
When Tom Fields-Meyer's son Ezra was three and showing early signs of autism, a therapist suggested that the father needed to grieve.
"For what?" he asked.
The answer: "For the child he didn't turn out to be."
That moment helped strengthen the author's resolve to do just the opposite: to love the child Ezra was, a quirky boy with a fascinating and complex mind. Full of tender moments and unexpected humor, Following Ezra is the story of a father and son on a ten-year journey from Ezra's diagnosis to the dawn of his adolescence. It celebrates his growth from a remote toddler to an extraordinary young man, connected in his own remarkable ways to the world around him.
A father celebrates his son's differences and advises others on how to view autism as a parallel journey rather than a restrictive label.
Chronicling son Ezra's toddler years through his bar mitzvah, journalist Fields-Meyer (Business Mensch: Timeless Wisdom for Today's Entrepreneur, 2009, etc.) approaches autism from a topical perspective, creating a loving tribute that favors "following" his son's interests instead of imposing behavioral or social expectations. Subjects range from the initial diagnosis to Ezra's deep enchantment with animals, and from learning to read to the rewards and challenges of parenting a child who is spirited and unfiltered in his expressions. This is not the average medical memoir concerned with educating the public, nor does it trace a common tragedy-to-triumph trajectory; the author strongly emphasizes supporting Ezra himself over the condition. Advised early on to "grieve for the child he didn't turn out to be," Fields-Meyer quickly realized that there was nothing to grieve, and no sense of blame. Together with his wife and Ezra's brothers, he adapted to life at a slower pace, allowing frustration and wonderment alike to play out naturally. Characteristics of autism, which can include repetition, fixation, facial nuances, lessened eye contact and a superb memory for obscure minutiae are not treated as symptoms to normalize but as opportunities to enter Ezra's world—whether that means learning the running times of animated films or appreciating honest insights.
Determinedly upbeat, the author depicts parenting with grace and every child as a gift.
Prologue: Following Ezra 1
Chapter 1 He's Gone 5
Chapter 2 A Different Mind 24
Chapter 3 Lots of Little Fears 39
Chapter 4 The Boy Who Shouted 56
Chapter 5 Finding My Son at the Zoo 69
Chapter 6 The Reader 81
Chapter 7 Gumby, Cheerios, and Red T-shirts 95
Chapter 8 Typing Lessons 114
Chapter 9 I Just Know 126
Chapter 10 Chasing Elmo 145
Chapter 11 Is Your Dog Friendly? 162
Chapter 12 Right and Wrong, Death and God 175
Chapter 13 Three Questions 190
Chapter 14 Remembering the Future 207
Epilogue: Back in My Brain 236
Anonymous
Posted September 10, 2011
I loved this book. "Following Ezra" is a wonderful, uplifting story about the evolution of one parent's relationship with his autistic son. As author Tom Fields-Meyer notes, it's the book he would have wanted to read when he learned his son Ezra had autism. But this book is much more than that -- it's the book all parents should read when they learn they are becoming parents. With love, humor and a true desire to let Ezra lead him, Fields-Meyer teaches us all that what our children need most is parents who love and appreciate them no matter what challenges they may face. I found myself laughing out loud on one page and shedding a tear the next as the author traces the triumphs, disappointments and revelations that come with raising a boy like Ezra.
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
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Posted September 9, 2011
As a new parent, i can relate to Tom's love for his child, his pride in Ezra's accomplishments. As a parent with a typical child, I don't have the experiences and struggles of raising an autistic child as the author articulates so well. This is a book I haven't put down. We can all learn from Tom's patience, and from the incredible young man who is Ezra.
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
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Posted October 26, 2011
My daughter has autism, and I've been trying to find ways to cope with it... His book is a complete 180 from all other books about it. An inspiration for any parent!
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Posted June 16, 2012
I devoured this honest, sometimes humorous and very real story. Having a son on the spectrum who is just 5 now, I can relate to a lot of the content in this book. My husband and I both read it and it changed our view on how we should be handling our own son. Our boy has some very similar personality traits to Ezra and we found ourselves laughing out loud. Loved it. Again, loved it.
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Posted March 19, 2012
Very insightful book on autism.Would recommend to any one that wants to know more about the day to day life of an autistic child. Loved it.
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Posted April 22, 2012
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Posted September 4, 2012
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Overview
A heartwarming, intimate and amusing memoir of a father's experience raising his autistic son.
When Tom Fields-Meyer's son Ezra was three and showing early signs of autism, a therapist suggested that the father needed to grieve.
"For what?" he asked.
The answer: "For the child he didn't turn out to be."
That moment helped strengthen the author's resolve to do just the ...