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Veteran comedian Gaffigan (Dad Is Fat, 2013) once again proves that the surest way to the American funny bone is through a mouthful of cheeseburger and fries, followed by a milkshake chaser.Most love stories are complex affairs, and the author's torrid relationship with pizza and bacon and everything else that is bad for you—but also so darn tasty—is no exception. In his latest book, Gaffigan waxes downright poetic about beef, barbecue, Chinese takeout and a smorgasbord of other gastronomic delights that no overweight man his age and girth can resist. The author's passion for deliciously trashy food manifests itself in a mouthwatering map of the United States that gleefully replaces red and blue states with much more representational porterhouse steaks and ribs. Gaffigan admits to never being hungry because he simply never stops eating—not that he's proud of this potentially tenuous state of affairs, because as the relentlessly self-deprecating wit implies, he is not. It's just that the gifted author is one love-struck schlub who is completely honest about the power his beloved addiction has over his life. For as many dishes as he professes to adore, there appears to be an equal number of food items that he despises. His culinary no-fly list runs the gamut from seafood to American cheese. "What's the difference between anchovies and a sweaty eyebrow?" Gaffigan wonders. "Whenever I see an anchovy I think, Someone has attacked Tom Selleck. Why would you want to put that on a pizza?" The author seasons each carton of comedy goodness with all the right seasonings: a dash of domesticity here and a pinch of zesty dialogue there. In freely exploring his ardor for all things fried, baked and sugary, Gaffigan somehow manages to work "clean" without ever becoming sickeningly saccharine. Laughs served up just right on every page.