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If For Women Only opened your eyes to things you didn't used to understand about men, it probably also raised the question, "So how do I apply this to my life?"
This discussion guide is designed to help you do just that. It's meant to be used in two different ways: as a catalyst for conversations among women in small groups or book clubs, or as a helpful road map for one-on-one dialogue with your man. Many women have already started For Women Only discussion groups, and I'm most grateful to those who have shared their ideas for these pages.
Each chapter follows the same basic layout: The first few pages of each chapter are for group discussion, and the last page (Bringing It Home) is for one-on-one discussion with your man.
The group discussion pages include such features as Key Questions; a Life Story with follow-up Case Study questions; a Guy Perspective and related question; and a Weekly Challenge. (A few of the final chapters are shorter and include only some of those features.)
Since every group is different, I encourage you to adapt the guide to your group's needs. For example, some groups may opt to cover one chapter per session in detail, while others may want to combine chapters and tackle only the Key Questions. Some groups may want to pick only one Key Question each week and instead focus on the Life Story and Weekly Challenges. Pick and choose what works for you.
I hope this guide will be helpful for all female audiences, whether married, dating, or single. You'll find that I use the words guy, man, and husband somewhat interchangeably. (The only exception is when I'm discussing sex, since I agree with the biblical principle of reserving that physical intimacy for marriage.)
As you read and discuss, please remember that For Women Only is not presented as an equal treatment of male-female differences or issues. Although we women obviously have needs too, For Women Only focuses on helping us understand the inner lives of men and how we relate to them. These revelations are not supposed to help us change our guy, but rather change and improve us. (To that end, due to popular request, the last page is a convenant you can cut out to help trigger your memory to apply what you've learned.)
Some of the data in For Women Only goes against decades of our assumptions about men, so most female readers experience a gamut of emotions (not all pleasant). Please be careful about unloading these on your man, especially if you go over the Bringing It Home discussion questions with him. Remember that it is all too easy for a man to feel if he feels that you are respecting him-which, as we learned in chapter 2, is his highest need anyway! Make sure your man knows that your eyes are being opened to things you need to change, and that if he is willing, you would love his help as you learn how to be more supportive of him.
Best to you in your journey!-Shanti
P.S. If your group has an introductory week, here's your first Weekly Challenge question:
Weekly Challenge: This week, identify which of the seven revelations (p. 15 of the book) you are already implementing best, and which one is the most likely to require changes in your life.
Excerpted from for women only Discussion Guide by shaunti feldhahn Lisa A. Rice Copyright © 2005 by Veritas Enterprises, Inc.. Excerpted by permission.
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Posted November 28, 2007
This book is a must read for all women in a relationship with a man! If I had Oprah's money I would buy this book for all the women I know and then some.
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