Forgiveness Myth: How to Heal Your Hurts, Move on and Be Happy Again when You Can't - or Won't - Forgive

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Overview

If so, you may have accepted the widespread notion that forgiving is the only way to heal. It's simply not true, and believing it can keep happiness out of reach. Leave the myth behind and discover the truth. You can heal without forgiving. You can move on and be happy again. This book shows you how.
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Overview

If so, you may have accepted the widespread notion that forgiving is the only way to heal. It's simply not true, and believing it can keep happiness out of reach. Leave the myth behind and discover the truth. You can heal without forgiving. You can move on and be happy again. This book shows you how.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780979440007
  • Publisher: Original Pathways Press
  • Publication date: 1/28/2008
  • Pages: 292
  • Product dimensions: 6.33 (w) x 8.97 (h) x 0.90 (d)

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements     ix
Preface     xi
Introduction     xv
Major Forgiveness Obstacles     1
There Is No Clear, Universally Accepted Definition of Forgiving     5
Dictionary Definitions of Forgiving Are Not Helpful     8
Many Need a Reminder That Forgiving Is for Them-Not Their Offender     10
The Head-Heart Dilemma     13
Routine and Simplistic Advice to "Just Forgive" Is Often Harmful     17
Religious and Family Baggage     21
A Misused, Overused, or Ruined Word for Many     24
A Double Standard for Women     27
Impossible Litmus Tests of "True" Forgiveness     30
What about Justice and Accountability?     35
Six Common Reasons to Set Aside or Forget Forgiving - at Least Temporarily     39
Troubling Feelings Such as Anger, Hatred, and Rage Are Overwhelming You     43
Painful Memories, Vindictive Urges, or Arguments Are Upsetting You     46
You Were Hurt Quite Recently and Your Inner Peace Has Been Shattered     49
A Significant Change or Transition in Your Life Is Pending or Underway     53
Fatigue-Mental, Emotional, Physical, or Spiritual-Has Drained You     56
Religious Beliefs and Old Expectations Are Getting in the Way     59
Eight Common Reasons to Set Aside or Forget Forgiving - Perhaps Permanently     63
Abuse or Neglect Has Made Forgiving Impossible     66
You or Someone Close to You Has Been Victimized by Crime     70
An Accident, Negligence, or Wrongful Behavior Has Resulted in a Major Loss     74
You Have Been Harmed by Religious Rigidity and Ignorance     78
Your Sexual Orientation Has Resulted in You Being Hurt     81
You Have Been Victimized by Racism     84
Betrayal of a Serious Nature Has Left You Devastated     87
Religious Help or Professional Therapy Hasn't Enabled You to Forgive     91
Healthy Alternatives to Forgiving: What They Are and Why They Work So Well     95
Some of the Healthy Alternatives to Forgiving     98
No Religious or Personal Baggage     102
The Focus Is on You and on Your Needs-Not on Your Offender     105
Activate as Often as Needed to Manage or Alleviate Painful Memories     109
Positive Thoughts and Warm Feelings Are Not Required     113
Since You Suffered the Hurt, You Get to Decide How to Heal     116
Preparing to Heal and Move Forward with Your Life     121
Healing Is a Process-Not an Event     125
An Overview of the Healing Process      129
What to Expect Along the Way     134
Activating Your Seven Intrapersonal Allies     140
Doing a Hurt-Healing Cost Analysis     149
Setting Your Intention to Heal and Move Forward with Your Life     157
Healing, Moving On, and Being Happy Again     163
What It Means to Heal, Move on, and Be Happy Again     168
From "Why Me?" to "How Can I Begin to Heal and Move Forward?"     173
Accessing and Activating Your Healthy Adult Power     180
Accepting Yourself-Especially When Feeling Upset     188
More on the Healing and Liberating Power of Acceptance     195
Refuting Powerlessness, Relinquishing Pain, Reclaiming Possibilities     200
A New Reference Point from Which to Reorient and Recreate Your Life     206
Stopping the Orbit around Your Offender and Starting One Anew around You     212
Staying in Present Time and Living Fully and Freely Today     220
Safeguarding Your Inner Peace and Happiness     231
Making Peace with the Past When You Can't-or Won't-Forgive Yourself     241
Why Did I Do What I Did?     246
Common Reasons Why So Many of Us Can't Seem to Forgive Ourselves     252
Distinguishing Between Shame and Remorse     259
The Can't-Win Shame Game      266
From Debilitating Shame to Healing Remorse     274
Making Peace with the Past     285
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Sort by: Showing 1 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 1, 2008

    A Great Book!

    This book looks at forgiveness in a new light. The thought provoking questions helped me see that forgiving isn¿t the only answer. It helped me realize that my needs are more important than those of the offender. A balanced perspective on a very emotional subject.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
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