Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life

( 67 )

Overview

Combining clinical analysis with psychological profiles of famous narcissists, here is an indispensable guide to recognizing, coping with, and ultimately overcoming the destructive behavior of narcissists.

Everybody needs some healthy narcissism. But in a society obsessed with appearance, wealth, and status, it's easy for problematic narcissists to thrive. Many people who seem to "have it all" are suffering from one of the most common?and overlooked?personality disorders of our ...

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Overview

Combining clinical analysis with psychological profiles of famous narcissists, here is an indispensable guide to recognizing, coping with, and ultimately overcoming the destructive behavior of narcissists.

Everybody needs some healthy narcissism. But in a society obsessed with appearance, wealth, and status, it's easy for problematic narcissists to thrive. Many people who seem to "have it all" are suffering from one of the most common—and overlooked—personality disorders of our time: high level narcissism. Typified by an obsession with perfection, a desperate need for admiration, and a willingness to use and exploit others for personal gain, high level narcissism can spell devastation for anyone who crosses the narcissist's path.

In Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, psychotherapist Linda Martinez-Lewi presents an in-depth and supportive plan for identifying, understanding, and dealing with high level narcissistic behavior in those close to you. Martinez-Lewi helps you to liberate yourself from draining personal relationships with narcissists, and shows how to regain a sense of peace, balance, and well-being.

Drawing on detailed profiles of famous narcissists, including Pablo Picasso, Frank Lloyd Wright, Armand Hammer, and Ayn Rand, as well as expertly rendered case studies from her private practice as a psychotherapist, Martinez-Lewi shows how to:

- understand where narcissistic behavior comes from;
-learn to spot narcissistic traits, even in the early stages of relationships;
- realize why attempting to change a narcissist is fruitless; and
- protect yourself from the narcissist's opportunism, manipulative behavior, and lack of empathy.
 

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Editorial Reviews

Bookviews
FREEING YOURSELF FROM THE NARCISSIST IN YOUR LIFE by Linda Martinez-Lewi,PhD (Tarcher/Penguin) may just be the best investment you will make this year as a guide to recognizing, coping with, and ultimately overcoming the destructive behavior of high-level narcissists, whether they be lovers, co-workers, friends or parents. It's one thing to have a healthy self-esteem, but there are folks who we all know as self-absorbed, conceited, or egotistical. These people are trouble and this book is an excellent guide to deal with them.
—Alan Caruba
Chicagotribune.com
5 THINGS WE LEARNED FROM . . . .
FREEING YOURSELF FROM THE NARCISSIST IN YOUR LIFE
According to the psychotherapist author, narcissists are people with extreme senses of superiority who possess no empathy. Martinez-Lewi believes that high-level narcissists are unlikely to change, so she offers methods for readers to maintain personal boundaraies, remain psychologically secure and live the life they choose.
1. As our culture has emphasized financial success and fame, we have begun rewarding high-level narcissism
2. There is such a thing as healthy narcissism. He or she "has a firm realistic sense of self.'
3. "A successful narcissist deludes others into believing he is genuinely interested in them."
4. To withstand an eruption of ego from a narcissist, one must be psychologically grounded. "A grounded individual is secure and calm; he feels solid at his center."
5. The world of a narcissist is often complicated. To combat being part of that world; simplify your own.
—Chris McNamara
Tucsoncitizen.com
The author, psychotherapist and licensed marriage and family therapist has written a guide making it easier to recognize, cope with and ultimately overcome the destructive behavior of high-level narcissists, whether they be lovers, work colleagues, friends or parents. Drawing on detailed profiles of famous narcissists including Pablo Picasso, Frank Lloyd Wright and Ayn Rand, she points out that trying to change a narcissist is impossible and reveals the steps that must be taken to expel such destructive individuals from our lives.
Daytondailynews.com
THAT NARCISSIST YOU KNOW . . .
"The high-level narcissist marches through his many geographies, conquering new territories, multiplying his limitless control of the outside world and the lives of those who touch his. Excited followers anticipate his mood and moves, praying for a favorable word or glance. The chosen dwell within his cercle d'or, chanting hosannas to his greatness. While his audience is dazzled, the supernarcissist assesses each subject's worth to him.
He plays upon their proclivities and weaknesses. Despite the years you have known him, the hard work you have done, the love that you express, the sacrifices you have made, the intimacies you believe you shared-eventually the narcissist will cut you off at the knees, even attempt to destroy you if he perceives you as an obstacle to his feverish drive toward ultimate power, control and omnipotence." (from FREEING YOURSELF FROM THE NARCISSIST IN YOUR LIFE by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.)
Does this description sound like anybody that you know? Your spouse? Your boss? Your co-worker? So, how does one recognize a "truly toxic narcissist?" According to this insightful book there are certain signs to look out for:
"Displays an extreme sense of grandiosity and superiority.
Is highly manipulative, exploitive, and deceptive in all of his relationships.
Places his personal and professional needs over the needs of others.
Is captivated by his delusions of limitless power and perfection.
Easily lies without any qualm or guilt.
Is incapable of true empathy-the ability to deeply feel and appreciate another person's emotional state."
It was my misfortune to work with a fellow who fit every single one ofthese descriptions. This book will help you to recognize this type of person before it is too late.
What makes them so dangerous? They only care about themselves.
Is this sounding familiar? Do you know one?
—Vick Mickunas
Spiritualityandpractice.com
You will know a narcissist when you see one: he or she loves to hog the spotlight. Those afflicted with this severe personality disorder are usually impressive and charismatic people: they beguile and enchant us with their magic. They never tire of talking about their experiences or projects which are always extraordinary. But they are totally lacking in empathy. Just try to discuss what you are doing or share an idea while they are nervously glancing around the room to see who is looking at them.
Linda Martinez-Lewi, a licensed marriage and family therapist, has put together a helpful and informative book for those who want to know more about high-level narcissists: whether they be colleagues, friends, parents, or lovers. Here are some of their traits and behaviors:
*A grandiose sense of self-importance
*A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
*A belief that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people *A high sense of entitlement
*Is interpersonally exploitative
*Lacks empathy
*Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
*Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
The book is divided into four sections: The Great Performer, Behind the Perfect Mask, The Adoring Audience, and Response to the Great Performer. Martinez-Lewi presents illustrative material on toxic narcissists with profiles of artist PabloPicasso, philosopher-author Ayn Rand, and architect Frank Lloyd Wright, describing them all as colorful characters whose hearts were hard and whose egos were gigantic. As the author puts it: "The narcissist takes up a vast amount of psychological space, leaving only room for himself. In his presence, one is unable to breathe or move, all the available oxygen has been taken by his self-entrancement."
Because of this pattern, narcissists make no distinction between themselves and others: everyone is at their service and disposal. Since all who come into their orbit are just extras in a private movie, they are expendable. Narcissists rarely seek therapy, and their relationships usually end badly. The show just keeps moving from one place to another. It is a lonely existence.
—Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat
Publishers Weekly

This book's title makes a promise it doesn't keep. Martinez-Lewi, a marriage and family therapist, devotes more space to describing what she calls the "classic high-level narcissist": charming, manipulative, needing to maintain a facade of perfection and power. But one can't always free oneself from narcissists (at work, for instance) except emotionally, which is the focus of her advice, when she gets to it. For the first 160-odd pages, the reader is treated to a melodramatic, vitriolic and metaphor-heavy ("we have been through the forests and thickets of the inner and outer world of the narcissistic personality") outpouring of loathing for these "impossible"people. The juiciest parts of the book describe historical figures such as Ayn Rand, Pablo Picasso and Frank Lloyd Wright as prisoners of their own narcissistic personalities. As for her plan to free oneself from narcissists, she makes it sound more like a battle plan than self-help, involving guerrilla, spy-counterspy and cat-and-mouse strategies. In the end, it amounts to being true to yourself and practicing meditation to stay grounded. (Jan.)

Copyright 2007 Reed Business Information
Library Journal

Psychotherapist Martinez-Lewi combines clinical analysis with psychological profiles of famous people she believes to have been narcissists (e.g., Frank Lloyd Wright, Ayn Rand) in this valuable guide to recognizing, coping with, and overcoming narcissistic behavior. She focuses on the high-level narcissist, i.e., the "omnipotent, grandiose, often charismatic individual of overreaching ambition and palpable hubris," distinguishing diagnostically between narcissists and borderline and antisocial personalities. She further presents a historical and societal perspective on narcissism, explaining the shift in focus in psychopathology from neuroses to personality disorders. Throughout, she draws on solid secondary biographies as well as on relevant case studies from her private practice, and she ends with a reasoned discussion of decidedly Eastern approaches (e.g., meditation) to counter narcissists' destructive behavior. The book is written with a calm directness and achieves the author's purpose of helping readers identify and protect themselves from naively tangling with these personalities. It offers more clinical analysis and experience than does Eleanor Payson's The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissistsand nicely complements Nina W. Brown's Children of the Self-Absorbed. Highly recommended for university and larger public libraries.
—Dale Farris

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780399165771
  • Publisher: Penguin Group (USA)
  • Publication date: 8/15/2013
  • Pages: 256
  • Sales rank: 230,483
  • Product dimensions: 5.47 (w) x 8.22 (h) x 0.63 (d)

Meet the Author

Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She lives in Carlsbad, California.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 67 )
Rating Distribution

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(56)

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(5)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 67 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 10, 2008

    A Healing Book After Divorcing A Narcissist

    I recently went through a nasty divorce. Fortunately, I hired an excellent attorney who understood both family law and the way that narcissists operate. I also went into therapy during the divorce and in the aftermath. With all the help, it still was very difficult. But, now I feel a lot of relief that I can now lead my own life not my ex-husband's. I recently read this fine book on the narcissistic personality that reveals the Pandora's box of secrets inside the narcissist' psyche. What an eye opener! The author puts the keys to dealing with narcissists in your hands. I recommend this book to everyone who is divorcing a narcissist, thinking of divorce, or going through a breakup with one.

    10 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 17, 2008

    Very good book for a very bad boss

    I wish I had read this book years ago. The one thing that comes to mind is a former boss. At the time I worked in sales. I was lead to believe that this guy 'the owner of the company' was the be all, end all sales coach and guru. Whenever I was on a sales call he would stand behind me and listen. Then when the call was over and I had not made the sale my boss would scream at me as to why I did not make the sale. Never mind the fact that the customer on the other end of the line was literally screaming at me that he or she did not want or need anything. I got the blamed for not making the sale. If he the guru was on the call he of course would have made the sale each and every time. It was as if he was the guru and everyone else was considered subpar. After a few months of working there I came to find out this boss had almost no experience and little knowledge of the product he was selling. He turned out to be a real narcissist. If I had read this book at that time I would have been able to identify him as such and would have been much better equipped to deal with the situation at hand. Now I understand narcissists and this will never happen to me again. This book is the perfect antidote to a bad boss. Marvin Mcbride

    10 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 9, 2008

    We Can't Be Friends Anymore---She's Too Narcissistic

    I just broke off a friendship with a woman I have known for about six months. Suzanne 'I'll call her' is very bright, well read, and tells great stories. We met through a professional organization. At first I enjoyed Suzanne's company. She is full of energy and very self confident. I noticed early on that she did most of the talking. Whenever I initiated a topic, Suzanne would quickly nod and take over the conversation. I am a good listener so I went along with Suzanne's 'conversational' style for a while. Suzanne spoke very cruelly about some of her other friends. Through a third party I found out that she had made some very critical personal comments about me. I called her on it and Suzanne denied everything. I learned that to be a friend of Suzanne's you had to agree with her completely. Everything in life revolved around her: the way she looked, her fantastic vacations, influential friends, her model children, and her genius at work. The relationship became very tiring. I spoke with a psychotherapist friend of mine and she suggested that Suzanne could be a narcissistic personality. I found this book and discovered that Suzanne has all the traits of a narcissistic personality disorder. Now I understand the narcissistic personality and know how to deal with them. I can handle people at work who are narcissistic and deal with them in limited social situations but it is my choice not to have them as friends. Suzanne demonstrated that she is completely incapable of empathy, which is a signal trait of the narcissistic personality. I have greater insight into people as a result of reading this excellent book.

    9 out of 9 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 22, 2008

    The Best Book I Have Found For Understanding And Dealing With Narcissists

    This author has hit a home run in capturing and providing readers with a deep understanding of the narcissistic personality. These individuals are so prevalent in our lives today. Many of us are married to, dating, divorced from or have narcissists as family members. This book has helped me tremendously in understanding exactly what creates a narcissist, their specific personality characteristics, their manipulative, deceptive ways, their dark inner psychological core. The author gives us a number of fine tools and strategies for handling narcissists in our personal and professional lives. This is a great, well written and compelling book.

    8 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 19, 2008

    From a Psychotherapist---Book Valuable to My Clients

    As a psychotherapist, working with couples for many years, I have found that a number of my clients are going through divorces or break-ups with narcissistic partners. The narcissist is unwilling to participate in therapy. Narcissists feel that they are perfect and never make mistakes. I have spent many clinical hours with psychologically injured partners of narcissists. As they work through their sense of abandonment and betrayal, most of these individuals have been able to renew their lives and access a healthy, solid sense of self. I recommend this book to my clients and have had a lot of positive feedback from them. The author presents the narcissistic personality in a clear, very readable way, using many examples from her clinical practice. She provides numerous strategies for those who are dealing with narcissists in their personal and professional lives.

    8 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 21, 2008

    A Source of Wisdom in Dealing With Narcissists

    I thought I was quite sophisticated about human nature until I recently encountered a narcissitic work colleague. I was quite far up the ladder in a well respected law firm when I met him. (I'll call him Ron). He started a rivalry between the two of us. I believe that he envied the speed with which I had progressed. Ron had been a senior partner for a couple of years. He threw his weight around and intimidated a lot of people. He blamed all his mistakes on the other attorneys. He lashed out without warning. He put on a well practiced charm act with clients that was convincing. Ron started a whispersing campaign, telling lies about my private life. I couldn't prove that he was lying. Everyone was afraid to stand up for me. I empowered myself, stood my ground and spoke up clearly for myself when he confronted me. I decided to leave the firm because of the horrible psychological atmosphere. It has worked out very well. A book I just finished re-enforced what I knew about Ron and how to deal with him. Dr. Martinez-Lewi zeros in on the narcissistic personality and makes a bulls-eye. I now understand how these very disturbed individuals operate and how they became narcissists from childhood. The author has provided me with a number of invaluable tools for handling narcissists successfully. This is a very wise book.

    7 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted July 31, 2008

    Insightful And Healing About The Narcissist

    My best friend just broke up with her fiancee. The wedding was supposed to take place in three months. Thank goodness, 'I'll call her Susan', Susan recognized that she had been giving her life over to a very narcissistic man who was abusing her psychologically. As a close friend I wanted to be helpful but not intrusive. I recommended that she read Dr. Martinez-Lewi's book that reveals every aspect of the narcissitic personality: the grandiosity, self-entitlement, perfect image, ruthlessness, betrayals, chronic lying, manipulations. Susan was also helped by psychotherapy. She is still in the process of healing. Dr. Martinez-Lewi goes to the central psychological core of the narcissistic personality and provides invaluable strategies for dealing with these individuals and reclaiming our lives and re-empowering ourselves. An outstanding book!

    7 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 23, 2008

    Painful Divorce - I Was Married to a Narcissist

    I was married to a narcissist for five years and didn't realize this at the time. The dating and honeymoon period were wonderful. I thought I had met my life match. My husband was a very high powered ceo in the high tech business. He is extremely bright and at the time was very charming. We dated a short time before getting married. Everything changed after that. He had horrific mood swings. He'd suddenly become enraged for what seemed like no reason. He blamed everything that went wrong on me. I began to feel that he was right. He had such a strong personality. I cried a lot and felt very depressed. He was a workaholic but I later found out that when he was 'working' so much at the office, he was having affairs with several female acquaintances. Finally, I felt like I was going to go crazy. I could neither sleep nor eat. My husband couldn't have cared less about my condition. He said he wanted out. He said he would crush me with his high powered attorneys. The divorce was agonizing. He hid most of his assets and I was left with only a fraction of what I deserved. After the divorce I worked with an excellent therapist and dealt with the grief and rage over the marriage and my emotional distress. Now I have a very successful business of my own. I'm dating again and have many wonderful friends. Recently, I read a book by Dr. Linda Martinez-Lewi. She described my ex-husband perfectly---he is a classic narcissist--grandiose, deceitful, can be very charming, manipulative, and has a complete lack of empathy. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is married to a narcissist or suspects they are, to those going through divorces or break-ups with narcissists. This is an excellent book that exposes the deep truth about this severe personality disorder. We find them everywhere in our society these days.

    7 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted November 17, 2008

    Fascinating, Insightful Book---Now I Know How to Identify and Deal with Narcissists Successfully

    Today we are surrounded by narcissists. We even find them in our own families. In the workplace they abound. It seems like the higher we climb the power ladder, the more narcissists there are to tangle with. I have been badly bruised by a couple of narcissists in my personal life. This book gave me the insight and confidence to successfully maneuver the treacherous waters of the narcissist with poise, self confidence and feelings of self respect and personal strength. I highly recommend this book.

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted November 10, 2008

    I am in Charge Dealing with Narcissists

    It has taken me a long time to realize that I can empower myself when I encounter narcissists in my personal life and at work. In the past I was dazzled by their charm, magnetism, their "take charge" confidence. I had several boyfriends who I now realize were narcissistic personalities. I was drawn to them so strongly and just kept getting betrayed, lied to and demeaned by them. I took a long look at myself and decided to do some research. I came across several books about different personality disorders. This one in particular stands out. It is an excellent guide for recognizing, understanding the motivations and childhood background of the narcissistic personality. I really enjoyed this book. It has many colorful and instructive vignettes about narcissists and those who have to deal with them. The book offers a number of winning strategies for handling these individuals. I have empowered myself when I encounter narcissists. The way to deal with narcissists is to take charge of yourself.

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 14, 2008

    I Know How To Identify Narcissists Every Time

    I have always had an interest in human nature, especially clinical psychology. In the last several years I have worked for a group of physicians. Most of them are terrific. But one of the doctors is quite impossible. He is so demanding and manipulative that it is amazing that his patients and the staff put up with him. I manage to deal with him quite well, especially after reading and studying this book by Dr. Linda Martinez-Lewi which goes to the essence of the narcissitic personality. The author offers a variety of terrific vignettes from her clinical practice and moves the reader through the childhood origins of the narcissist, the psychodynamics, how they feel beneath their mask of extreme entitlement and superiority. I highly recommend this book. It has been very helpful to me in deepening my awareness of the narcissistic personality and in giving me the tools for maintaining a sense of balance and well being.

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 29, 2008

    Unlock Yourself From Narcissists In Your Life

    This excellent book is full of vital and fascinating clinical observations of the narcissistic personlity in full bloom. We find narcissists everywhere. Some of us are even married to or divorced from them. Many of us have narcissistic parents. I have had a few 'friends' who turned out to be narcissists. They betrayed me more than once. I finally woke up and realized that these individuals suffer from a severe personality disorder. Part of my awakening is this terrific book that analyzes the narcissist and provides colorful and essential vignettes from the author's clinical practice. The personal psychological life stories of famous narcissists Pablo Picasso and Frank Lloyd Wright are fascinating. Through this book I have learned to empower myself and specifically learn how to deal with the narcissists who surround us.

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 4, 2008

    Insightful Resource On Narcissistic Personalities

    This is one of the most thorough and revealing books on those individuals we encounter every day---narcissists. At work and at home, this book by Dr. Martinez-Lewi will be of great assistance in opening your eyes to the true nature of this disturbing and disruptive personality. We find both male and female narcissists in our personal and professional lives today. The author gives us invaluable tools for dealing with these individuals with success and integrity. There are numerous examples of narcissitic behavior from the author's clinical practice as well as dramatic intimate details from the lives of famous narcissists, Pablo Picasso and Frank Lloyd Wright. A terrific guide with many fine real life stories.

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 28, 2008

    I've Got The Narcissist's Number

    It took me a while. I guess I'm a slow learner but finally I began to recognize that a lot of fellows I was dating were narcissistic personalities. The high-level type come on with all of their charm. Many of them are good looking and have a terrific magnetic pull to them. They know just what to say to keep you very interested. I have been burned a couple of times by some of these fellows. But not anymore. A couple of months ago I read a fantastic book that reveals the narcissist in all his glory and in his ruthless underside. The book is by Dr. Linda Martinez-Lewi. She has an excellent clinical background in clinical psychology and her area of expertise is narcissistic and borderline personality disorders. The book is very clearly and well written. The author presents many colorful and informative vignettes from her practice that illustrate important aspects of the narcissistic character: their sense of entitlement, grandiosity, the way they lie so easily, their perfect mask, their cruel deceitful, manipulative underside. She also offers many ways of successfully handling narcissistic individuals at work and in one's personal life. This book is a valuable guide. I now understand exactly what motivates these individuals. I recognize them immediately and will never be victimized by a narcissist again. I am recommending this book to all of my friends.

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 16, 2008

    Don't Be Fooled By A Narcissist's Charm

    I have met many narcissists in my life without even knowing it at the time. The first thing that hit me was their tremendous self confidence, worldliness and that magnetic charm that was unstoppable. I had what I thought at the time were serious relationships with a few of these men. It all started with such powerful chemistry. I felt happily enraptured by a couple of these fellows. I ended up paying a heavy price for my emotional investment with these guys. One of them sent me into therapy after he left me for a member of his staff. One day we were together, the next he was off to Europe on vacation with someone else. I was so shocked, I couldn't even cry at first. I guess I'm a slow learner. These very smooth narcissists can fool most people. Now, I have settled down with a great guy who is not narcissistic at all. He has a strong sense of his self worth but he is very understanting and caring. Unlike narcissists who are incapable of empathy, my new partner can really put himself in my place. A friend of mine recently told me about a book by Dr. Martinez-Lewi about high-level narcissists: how they came to be this way, what makes them tick, what is their darker side, how to engage successfully with them and protect ourselves at the same time. I have just finished her book. As I read it I went down memory lane and realized that most of the men who had entangled me emotionally and caused horrible pain were narcissists. This is a very fine book. The author deeply understands the narcissistic personality disorder and provides specific tools we can use to counteract both his 'or her' charm and their ruthlessness and manipulations. There is a spiritual element in the book where the author invites us, if we choose, to take a path beyond narcissism towards inner peace and wholeness.

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 21, 2008

    The Narcissist ---Behind The Grand Facade

    Many individuals who are successful in the world and who work very hard are terrific people. They are compassionate and understanding. They take the time to help others who are less fortunate. But there is a special group of what I call a psychological elite club who are very narcissistic. We all must have healthy naricssism---a secure positive feeling about ourselves. This is normal and necessary. I am talking about those of a different stripe. I have worked with and had acquaintances with some of these folks. The outcome has never been positive. The narcissist can be so clever, manipulative and charming that you don't realize that he or she has a severe psychological disorder at first. You find so many people looking up to them as if they were godlike creatures. That's their magnetism at work. Today, I even see that many are fooled by spiritual gurus who are narcissists and who brainwash and abuse the members of their special circle. I have licked my wounds several times but finally I learned to steer clear of these individuals. One of the books that I read recently really brought all of this home to me very clearly. It's called 'Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life' by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D. Narcissists are her area of expertise. She has worked with many clients in her clinical practice who have been emotionally burned by them. I recommend her book. It is very well written and has some marvelous stories from her practice about narcissists, their psychodynamics, how they came to be this way, and what to do about them. She offers the reader many excellent ways of coping successfully with these individuals and end up victorious.There is a spiritual component near the end of the book that works well with the psychological insights she brings to her work. This book is well informed, beautifully written and will help all of those who deal with the many narcissists we find in our lives today.

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted June 13, 2008

    Reveals What You Must Know About Narcissists

    Even the most sophisticated individuals can be fooled about the true nature of narcissistic personalities. We are often caught off guard by their clever games, their magnetism and ever-present manipulations. The other mistake we make is to assume that a narcissist is capable of placing a positive authentic psychological investment in another human being. Narcissists only bank on themselves and those whom they will use to achieve their grandiose goals. I have learned this the hard way in my career. I just read an excellent book by Dr. Linda Martinez-Lewi that identifies the narcissist so perfectly--starting with his outer perfect mask and moving inward to his dark, bleak core. This insightful book is a joy to read. The author has a vast understanding of the narcissistic personality and presents numerous vignettes of these individuals in action. She offers many ways of dealing successfully with the narcissistic personality disorder. This is the best book I have read about narcissists. I am telling all of my friends how much this book will open their eyes and help them in their professional and personal lives.

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 18, 2008

    Wonderful insights into the Narcissist--Great Stories

    This book goes deeply into the heart of the narcissistic personality disorder. When you finish this excellent read, you will understand, be able to identify and find yourself dealing successfully with this personality disorder, especially that larger than life high-level narcissist. The author offers specific strategies that we can use to protect ourselves and at the same time lead our own lives. Dr. Martinez-Lewi offers spiritual strategies that move beyond narcissism and point the way toward inner peace and healing.

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 29, 2008

    A Must Read For Anyone Dealing With a Narcissist

    For many years in my personal and professional life, I have been at the mercy of narcissistic individuals. I married two very narcissistic men. I didn't learn from the first marriage and went rushing into the second one without realizing that my first husband was exceedingly self-absorbed, perfectionistic, demanding, ruthless and manipulative. I was charmed by my second husband. I soon recognized that I had made a terrible mistake. I got a quick divorce but never understood what was wrong with my second decision to marry the same kind of man. During the years as a marketing expert, I have encountered many individuals that I now know were narcissistic personalities. At first I was envious of their tremendous self confidence and their successful climb up the power hierarchy. Later I would find out that their greatest motive was winning. They didn't care who suffered or was sacrificed so that they would reach their goal. I used my intuition on many occasions to manuever through rough corporate waters. Recently, I read a book by Dr. Linda Martinez-Lewi and discovered the true identity of the narcissist, how he became this way, how he feels beneath his charming mask and what we can do to protect ourselves from these individuals and maintain our integrity. Her book answered all of my questions about narcissists and provided me valuable methods for dealing with these individuals without giving away my personal power. This is an excellent book with many informative vignettes and some fascinating biographical information on famous narcissists, including Pablo Picasso and Frank Lloyd Wright.

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 2, 2008

    The Ultimate Protection From The Ultimate Ego

    This book gets in there and rips apart the lies of narcissistic individuals. It's an in depth view into the behaviors, hidden motives,deceptions, dishonesties, and false appearances of this cruel yet alarmingly common personality disorder. 'Freeing Yourself From The Narcissist In Your Life' gives many examples and personal stories illustrating first hand experiences with narcissistic people. Perhaps the most inspiring and helpful part of this book for me, was its ability to provide clarity and effective solutions for coping with these types of individuals. I felt the spiritual component was beautifully tied in as a solid effective tool for dealing with narcissism. Hats off to the author for having the courage and awareness to write a book that addresses this type of issue in today's society.

    6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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