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Drawing on interviews, expert advice, and the authors’ own experiences, this wise, inspiring book will “aid every woman who has a mother, is a mother, or hopes to become one” (New York Times).
Excerpted from Friends for Life by Susan Jonas and Marilyn Nissenson. Copyright © 1997.
|Ch. 1||The Developmental Paths of Mothers and Daughters||3|
|Ch. 2||The Burden of the Past: How Your Mother Mothered You||25|
|Ch. 3||Your Daughter's Personal Style and Habits||69|
|Ch. 4||Your Daughter's Love Life||89|
|Ch. 5||When Your Daughter Lives at Home||132|
|Ch. 6||Can She Fend for Herself?||160|
|Ch. 7||Changes in Your Life||189|
|Ch. 8||Your Expectations and Her Life||226|
|Ch. 9||Redefining Your Role in Her Life||249|
|Ch. 10||Getting Beyond Guilt||274|
|Ch. 11||Expressing Your Voice||293|
|Ch. 12||Friends for Life||315|
|Ch. 13||Our Personal Journey||342|
Q: What is your favorite thing about being a mother of a daughter?
A: The big serious answer is to see someone that you've nurtured grow up to be her own person. On a more day-to-day basis, it's sharing so much; because you're the same sex, you can talk endlessly about the nature of relationships, recipes, shopping. And just talk about things, do them together.
Q: It's fun to see how much alike you are, and also how different she has turned out to be. I love finding out that we were fascinated by the same articles in a magazine, and conversely, that my daughter has hated a movie that I loved and was sure she would to. Describe your mother. What is your earliest memory of her?
A: My mother was a very stylish woman with a great sense of humor. She enjoyed life, lived high. She loved to drink, smoke, party, shop. One of my earliest memories is sitting with fascination and adoration watching my mother getting dressed and putting on her makeup for an evening out.
My mother was very domestic, a very accomplished hostess. She loved having nice things and using them. I have early memories of watching her getting ready for a dinner party and thinking that having candles on the table and little individual silver salt and peppers and the martini shaker ready for guests were the definition of what made you a grown-up.
Q: Would you ever consider leaving New York? What are some of your favorite bonding activities that you do with your daughter?
A: Both of my daughters live in New York, as I do. I love meeting for dinner and talking about what's going on in our lives. Definitely shopping. Sharing a cultural event: high culture, going to a museum; low culture, going to a movie we are both dying to see. When they lived out of town, we emailed each other a lot.
Neither of my daughters lives in the same city as I do. So when we get together, it's usually for an intense weekend. I'm famous for not liking to shop, but I willingly trail around after them, chatting and, I might add, usually paying for whatever they choose. We spend time on the phone gossiping. We eat out. Sometimes my husband and I arrange to meet our older daughter and her boyfriend for a weekend in a city we all want to visit.
Posted February 22, 2004
I just read this book after reading many mother/daughter books. This one is different in that it offers others experiences in positive ways without lots of psychological input. I learned a lot from here and see myself in postive/negative roles too. Highy recommend this to any Mom of adult daughters.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.